Introduction by Barry Goldwater. [adapted from jacket blurb]

     Well, we offer you YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand. The human body is beautiful and mysterious. The mysterious part reeks of cheese. But no part of your body is as scary and horrifying as your head! In YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD: The Darkest, Most Offensive--and Moist--Secrets of Your Mouth, Nose and Ears, Dr. & Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey reveal -- through newly discovered discoveries -- all the ways in which your head disappoints you. With such amazing information as: • The ear was invented and designed by Feranando de la Mancini Goldfarb, in 1911, which was also a good year for yeast. • Good Reasons for teeth removal: dentist did it; peer pressure; not sharp enough; found better teeth, like, on the ground; suspected of enjoying flossing; decay and mouth politics. • The real reason your ears can't hear your pets talking. The answer is simple: your pet is a mumbler." With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the second volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.

    But in the streets of Castita's capital, where a wild religious festival is in full swing, a series of bizarre encounters - including his own repulsive doppelganger (the son of a circus bird-woman) - and disturbing family revelations await Miles, who soon finds himself a willing victim of dynastic destiny. A darkly surreal comedy of dazzling linguistic inventiveness, MF is an outrageous tale of blood, lust and the machinations of fate.

    DiLorenzo, who ignited a fierce debate about Lincoln’s legacy with his book The Real Lincoln, now presents a litany of stunning new revelations that explode the most enduring (and pernicious) myths about our sixteenth president. Marshaling an astonishing amount of new evidence, Lincoln Unmasked offers an alarming portrait of a political manipulator and opportunist who bears little resemblance to the heroic, stoic, and principled figure of mainstream history. Did you know that Lincoln . . .• did NOT save the union? In fact, Lincoln did more than any other individual to destroy the voluntary union the Founding Fathers recognized.• did NOT want to free the slaves? Lincoln, who did not believe in equality of the races, wanted the Constitution to make slavery “irrevocable.” • was NOT a champion of the Constitution? Contrary to his high-minded rhetoric, Lincoln repeatedly trampled on the Constitution—and even issued an arrest warrant for the chief justice of the United States! • was NOT a great statesman? Lincoln was actually a warmonger who manipulated his own people into a civil war.• did NOT utter many of his most admired quotations? DiLorenzo exposes a legion of statements that have been falsely attributed to Lincoln for generations—usually to enhance his image. In addition to detailing Lincoln’s offenses against the principles of freedom, equality, and states’ rights, Lincoln Unmasked exposes the vast network of academics, historians, politicians, and other “gatekeepers” who have sanitized his true beliefs and willfully distorted his legacy. DiLorenzo reveals how the deification of Lincoln reflects a not-so-hidden agenda to expand the size and scope of the American state far beyond what the Founding Fathers envisioned—an expansion that Lincoln himself began.The hagiographers have shaped Lincoln’s image to the point that it has become more fiction than fact. With Lincoln Unmasked, DiLorenzo shows us an Abraham Lincoln without the rhetoric, lies, and political bias that have clouded a disastrous president’s enduring damage to the nation.

    I Would Have Saved Them If I Could was his second collection of short stories, originally published in 1975."Leonard Michaels's stories stand alongside those of his best Jewish contemporaries - Grace Paley and Philip Roth." - Mona Simpson, The New York Times Book Review"Leonard Michaels was an original... with a concise, pungent and pyrotechnic style that tolerated no flab." - Phillip Lopate, The Nation"As good as any writer you're likely to run across." - Alex Abramovich, Bookforum

    Contents:· The Rose · na Authentic #31 ’53 · The Chessplayers · ss F&SF Oct ’53 · The New Reality · nv Thrilling Wonder Stories Dec ’50

    (1964)Casablanca (1967)

    In this lost colony the inhabitants had forgotten the very existence of earth. Only one man remembered. He foresaw the awesome consequences if this paradise were ever rediscovered.MonumentThe novel of a frightening future - a planet in mortal combat with an alien universe.

    Many of the most highly regarded citizens leaped from windows or jumped into the Rhone, screaming that their heads were made of copper, their bodies wrapped in snakes, their limbs swollen to gigantic size or shrunken to tiny appendages. Others ran through the streets, claiming to be chased by "bandits with donkey ears", by tigers, lions & other terrifying apparitions. Animals went berserk. Dogs ripped bark from trees until their teeth fell out. Cats dragged themselves along the floor in grotesque contortions. Ducks strutted like penguins. Villagers & animals died right & left. Bit by bit, the story behind the tragedy in Pont-St-Esprit--a tiny Provencial village of twisted streets that looks much today as it did in the Middle Ages--unfolded to doctors & toxcologists. That story, one of the most bizarre in modern medical history, is movingly recounted in The Day of St. Anthony's Fire. Throughout the Middle Ages & during other times in history, similar hallucinatory outbreaks occurred. They were called St. Anthony's Fire because it was believed that only prayers to the saint could hold the disease in check. Even modern medicine could find no way to check the disease. Drugs failed to bring even temporary relief. Hundreds in the village suffered for weeks, with total agonizing insomnia, never knowing when they might once more suddenly go berserk. The cause of St. Anthony's Fire was known since early history to be ergot, a mold found on rye grain that at rare times inexplicably became posionous enough to create monstrous hallucinations & death. In '51 little significance was attached to the fact that the base of ergot was lysergic acid, also the base for LSD, a drug just coming to the attention of scientists at the time--a drug so powerful that one eye-dropperful could cause as many as 5000 people to hallucinate for hours. At this point, the story becomes a vividly absorbing medical detective story demonstrating the possibility that a strange, spontaneous form of LSD might have caused the human tragedy that came to the hapless villagers of Pont-St-Esprit.

    Through the narrator we are told of what happens among those standing in line outside this store, what happens as the narrator's mind thinks and rants about the current state of Poland, and what happens as he imagines the failed Polish rebellion of 1863. The novel's form allows Konwicki (both character and author) to roam around and through Poland's past and present, and to range freely through whatever comes to his attention. By turns comic, lyrical, despairing, and liberating, The Polish Complex stands as one of the most important novels to have come out of Poland since World War II.

    Citizens of this new world, officially labelled 'delinquents' by their Dictator, are named after murderers and are obliged to wear sackcloth and ashes. Individualism is stamped out. Privilege, which might arouse envy, is energetically discouraged. Thus it is no surprise to find Jael 97 reporting to the Ministry of Facial Justice. Being facially overprivileged, her good looks have been the cause of discontent among other women, and she has considered having a beta (second-grade) face fitted. But this affront to her ego stirs her rebellious spirit, and she begins the struggle to reassert the rights of the individual.

    When their friends leave them behind on Earth, they've got a few millenia to kill before they'll manage to get back to school. So, as an experiment, mind you, they decide to give evolution a bit of a nudge... And that's when all hell breaks loose... a little more literally than either of them planned...

    In this world the Protectors own the land and are constantly feuding with the Just, who wish to return the land to the Folk. The Protectors, however, are divided within themselves, the Reds against the Blacks, as bitterly opposed to each other as united they are opposed to the Just. After a typical skirmish between the Reds and Blacks, two Endwives, whose job it is to come after battles to nurse the wounded and bury the dead, find a strange being, a Visitor from the sky, nameless, sexless, with a purpose to fulfill unknown even to himself. It is the Visitor who one day will make the unthinkable journey to the Outward -- to the very margin of the Deep.

    Examines the price we have paid for the stupidity of greed, doubt, red tape, the law, myth & wish-dreams.

    WIth access to every computer in post-World War III's fully-automated society, he had the potential to become the ultimate spy, the perfect assassin, an invincible dictator.Only loyalty to samurai virtues kept his attention in check--until the day when Elizabeth was taken away from him, and Tokugawa began his quest for revenge...