Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities


David M. Ortmann - 2012
    While misunderstandings surrounding these communities prevail, BDSM sexuality cuts across race, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the engaged parties. Some BDSM "scenes" include role-playing, spanking, blindfolds, ropes, and erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community; overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards that view them as sick or pathological. The book also serves as an educational primer for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges faced by BDSM communities, the most significant is living with a stigmatized sexuality shame, prejudice, discrimination, isolation, depression, and a lack of adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such as coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and partners, and dealing with scenes and relationships that go wrong are some the common experiences shared by members of BDSM communities. Sexual Outsiders employs common sense, good humor, and vivid anecdotes while incorporating basic ideas about human behavior, psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and clinical case studies to illustrate the real lives and experiences of men and women in BDSM communities. Anyone wanting to learn more about this unique, and more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality, will find in these pages insight into the various challenges BDSM practitioners face, and the many strengths that people in the BDSM communities have developed in the face of social stigma and prejudice.

Savage Love from A to Z: Advice on Sex and Relationships, Dating and Mating, Exes and Extras


Dan Savage - 2021
    Dan Savage has been talking frankly about sex and relationships for 30 years, and has built an international following thanks to his sex-positive Savage Love column and podcast. To celebrate this milestone comes Savage Love from A to Z, an illustrated collection of 26 never-before-published essays that provides a thoughtful, frank dive into Savage's trademark phrases and philosophies. This hardcover book is for anyone who's had sex, is currently having sex, or hopes to have sex!Essays cover a variety of topics: • B Is for Boredom • F Is for Fuck First • G Is for GGG (Good Giving Game) • M Is for MonogamishWhether he's talking about issues like compatibility or specific sex acts, you can be sure he's giving it to you straight. Short excerpts from his classic columns kick off each essay and cheeky illustrations by his longtime collaborator Joe Newton complement the topic at hand. Savage has moved the needle toward a more open discourse around sex, relationships, and intimacy, and this book will both inspire and inform his legions of fans. An ideal stocking stuffer!

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women


Tristan Taormino - 1997
    Tristan Taormino offers the kind of informed reassurance that can encourage even an absolute beginner to explore this nerve-rich part of the body, either alone or with a partner of any gender. Anal sex enthusiasts may need no encouragement, but will welcome Taormino’s sense of adventure and her detailed discussions of toys, fantasy play, and positions. Beginning by dispelling common myths about anal eroticism, Taormino goes on to illustrate anatomy, give tips on building trust and communicating desires, and provide reliable, easy-to-understand information on safety, preparation, hygiene, and much more. This new edition has been substantially expanded and revised to include new information on masturbation, anal health, BDSM and anal sex, and many other topics. In a new feature, Taormino answers actual reader questions.

The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina—Separating the Myth from the Medicine


Jennifer Gunter - 2019
    Jen Gunter now delivers the definitive book on vaginal health, answering the questions you've always had but were afraid to ask--or couldn't find the right answers to. She has been called Twitter's resident gynecologist, the Internet's OB/GYN, and one of the fiercest advocates for women's health...and she's here to give you the straight talk on the topics she knows best.Does eating sugar cause yeast infections? Does pubic hair have a function? Should you have a vulvovaginal care regimen?Will your vagina shrivel up if you go without sex?What's the truth about the HPV vaccine?So many important questions, so much convincing, confusing, contradictory misinformation! In this age of click bait, pseudoscience, and celebrity-endorsed products, it's easy to be overwhelmed--whether it's websites, advice from well-meaning friends, uneducated partners, and even healthcare providers. So how do you separate facts from fiction? OB-GYN Jen Gunter, an expert on women's health--and the internet's most popular go-to doc--comes to the rescue with a book that debunks the myths and educates and empowers women. From reproductive health to the impact of antibiotics and probiotics, and the latest trends, including vaginal steaming, vaginal marijuana products, and jade eggs, Gunter takes us on a factual, fun-filled journey. Discover the truth about:- The vaginal microbiome - Genital hygiene, lubricants, and hormone myths and fallacies - How diet impacts vaginal health - Stem cells and the vagina - Cosmetic vaginal surgery - What changes to expect during pregnancy, after childbirth, and through menopause - How medicine fails women by dismissing symptomsPlus: - Thongs vs. lace: the best underwear for vaginal health - How to select a tampon - The full glory of the clitoris and the myth of the G Spot... And so much more. Whether you're a twenty-six-year-old worried that her labia are "uncool" or a sixty-six-year-old dealing with painful sex, this comprehensive guide is sure to become a lifelong trusted resource.

Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation


Princess Kali - 2015
    Princess Kali, a famous former Dominatrix and world-renowned Humiliatrix, throws open the dungeon doors to explore the complex desires that fuel this kind of psychological play for both dominants and submissives. Using both personal experience and extensive interviews she shares advice and detailed ideas for a broad range of embarrassing, humiliating, and degrading ways to enjoy consensual kinky fun. Also covered are important concepts such as communication, negotiation, consent, triggers, aftercare, and so much

Bow Down: Lessons from Dominatrixes on How to Be a Boss in Life, Love, and Work


Lindsay Goldwert - 2021
    Where women not only stop apologizing, but seize—and enjoy—control. This is the quickly mainstreaming world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)—and it has a lot to teach women about empowerment, negotiation, open-mindedness, and more. Journalist Lindsay Goldwert, intrigued by this seismic cultural shift, traveled across the United States to meet the stars of the subculture, who spoke frankly with her about their lives and work. In this “lively, funny, thoughtful channeling of wisdom” (Sara Benincasa, author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs), these Alpha women show you how you can reset the power dynamic in any situation to get what you want—whether it’s from a husband, a boss, or partner. They share strategies for revolutionizing not only your sex life, but your career, your relationships, and most importantly, your inner foundations. With bondage gear popping up on the big screen, the runway, the red carpet, and in celebrity lingerie lines, BDSM is officially moving out of the dungeon and into the sun. Let Bow Down help you learn how to use it. “Whether your fantasies lie in the bedroom or the boardroom, Lindsay will give you the courage to go forth and dominate.” (Sarah Cooper, author of How to Be Successful without Hurting Men’s Feelings).

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners


Lady Green - 1998
    Now Lady Green returns with the publication of the revised and updated third edition of her classic The Sexually Dominant Woman. This friendly, non-threatening book is the perfect starting point for the woman who has fantasized about erotic power play, explaining the fundamentals of bondage, sensation and control games. It includes a script to inspire and support the novice through her first scene, a new section on partner-finding skills and updated information on the possible emotional effects of female-dominant play.

Vagina: A New Biography


Naomi Wolf - 2012
    Heralded by Publishers Weekly as one of the best science books of the year, it is a provocative and deeply engaging book that elucidates the ties between a woman's experience of her vagina and her sense of self; her impulses, dreams, and courage; and her role in love and in society in completely new and revelatory ways sure to provoke impassioned conversation.A brilliant and nuanced synthesis of physiology, history, and cultural criticism, Vagina: A New Biography explores the physical, political, and spiritual implications of this startling series of new scientific breakthroughs for women and for society as a whole, from a writer whose conviction and keen intelligence have propelled her works to the tops of bestseller lists, and firmly into the realms of modern classics.

The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance


Anton Fulmen - 2016
    If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style. What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else. This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerplayers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.) If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage


Two Knotty Boys - 2006
    D., began teaching rope bondage together in 1999, they discovered that most people learn best when they're shown — close up, step by step, and repeatedly — how to tie basic knots and combine them into bondage techniques. It is this learning process that they duplicate in this book. With the help of world-renowned photographer Larry Utley, they use over 750 photos and captions to explicate the soup-to-nuts techniques for turning great knots into great bondage that is safe, sensual, attractive, and effective. Readers can learn at their own pace, review whole techniques at a single glance, or even lay it flat on the table (beside their blindfolded partner) and follow along as they tie. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes appeals to those interested in improving the quality of their sex lives, not to mention aficionados of bondage and discipline/sadomasochism (BDSM), both curious newcomers and serious players alike.

Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Lovers


Patrick Califia-Rice - 1993
    Sensuous Magic has the answers. Writer, therapist, and sex radical Patrick Califia-Rice has updated his classic introduction to S/M and power play to embrace couples of all persuasions and at every stage of experience. Although not a comprehensive technical guide (you will need a book on rope bondage, for instance, if you want to learn appropriate knots and techniques), Califia-Rice's text offers insightful warnings, advice, and commentary, the kind of guidance you might expect from a seasoned mentor. It is especially well-suited to daring beginners, who can learn the basics on safety and communication, while being titillated by more advanced topics like whip selection and master/slave contracts. --Regina Marler

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life


Emily Nagoski - 2015
    So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage


Midori - 2001
    Now, accomplished Japanese-born pro-domme and bondage practitioner Midori shows step by step how to achieve beautiful and exciting Japanese bondage on a variety of genders and body types.Each chapter starts with a spectacular, tasteful full-color photo of the finished bondage pose -- harnesses, hogties, standing and bent-over poses, and more -- then goes back and explains with text and line art how each rope and knot is placed to achieve the final result. Readers can use the detailed instructions to experiment safely and erotically with their own partners -- or simply enjoy viewing the pictures of Midori's expertise.

My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies


Nancy Friday - 1973
    Women who read it were astonished to find in its pages the hidden content of their own sexual fantasies. More outspoken, graphic, and taboo-shattering than any book before its time, "My Secret Garden" quickly became the classic study of female sexuality. Today, millions of women have made Nancy Friday's groundbreaking bestseller a mainstay of feminist literature -- a liberating force that adds a sensational new dimension to their sexual fantasies and lives.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman


Ian Kerner - 2004
    The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.” An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves from the likes of bestselling author and Loveline co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as Playgirl magazine, which cheers, “Hallelujah!”.