It has mortal wounds and shouldn’t be walking, but it is, and if you hang around for too long, it will be heading towards you. How would you react? You survive the initial throes of civil unrest and the collapse of law and order. The world has become your playground. What kind of person do you become? You have never lived for anyone else except yourself. You are selfish. You like being alive. But you do have a conscience, and a soul. Who do you save first? Warren is not a likeable man. Warren doesn’t even like himself. But he does like existing, and he wants to continue doing it, no matter what hell is emerging around him. Being pragmatic and a bit of a git to boot, he doesn’t find making the hard decisions difficult. What he does find out, is that the hard decisions are not necessarily the right ones. And being a bastard in life does not prepare you for the clashes that will ensue once the edges of society begin to blur and fade out. It isn’t just the infected and the resurrected that Warren needs to be wary of, as he negotiates his way around the post-infection south coast in a haphazard attempt to keep himself and his family survive.

    The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: what happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree?; can their manly love for each other endure when one of them suffers a psychological bitch-slap that renders him a homicidal maniac?; will a snaggletoothed teenage prostitute tear them apart?; what is the best way to use a dead illegal alien to your advantage in a hostage situation?; what's that smell?; and, what the hell is Alf the Sacred Burro coughing up? Carbuncle's latest offering, Grundish and Askew, ponders these troubling questions and more. So sit down, put on some protective goggles, and get ready for Carbuncle to blast you in the face with a warm load of fictitious sickness. Reader Views 2009 Literary Awards, First Place, Humor Category - This book could easily be the sleeper of the year Reviewer Magazine - an imaginative, almost hallucinatory tale of madness, traveling and free spirits doing what they want. The Daily Loaf - Think of those grungy, maggoty knuckle-dragging villains in Carl Hiaasen and Tim Dorsey novels. Those morons are *%#*ing Osmond family teasippers compared to the crew Carbuncle has created.

    Each story is accompanied by a ghastly illustration from the mind of Andy Sciazko... the kind of illustrations that will disturb you in the best way possible.

    Amadeus Kaine is fêted by royalty, dictators, Hollywood, and the international jetset. An epicurean of sophistication and dark obsessions, he’s devoted his life to locating the perfect food.While treating one of Central Asia’s most depraved despots, Kaine is given a little pie to eat – a delicacy reserved for guests of the president. It’s the most delicious thing that’s ever passed the surgeon’s lips, and one that has seemingly miraculous effects. All of a sudden, Kaine finds that his bald patch is growing over with thick black hair, and that his body is healing itself from the inside out. But, best of all, he realizes that his mental faculties are stimulated in ways he never believed possible. He can write books in a few hours, learn languages in a matter of days, and effortlessly solve problems from world hunger to global warming.The drawback is that the dictator’s little pies are prepared with human eyes, taken from convicts working in the opal mines. Horrified that he’s unwittingly become a cannibal, Amadeus Kaine can’t think of anything but getting his hands on some more of the illicit specialty.Obsessed in particular by green eyes, he begins hunting for victims to satisfy his wayward craving. While perfecting his method, he learns to appreciate the subtleties in taste. As he does so, a terrible affliction strikes – Occulosis.An eye disease that has jumped the species gap from industrialized poultry farming, the virus rips through society, robbing the masses of their sight. The only man who can save the world is the inimitable Dr. Kaine, who is himself on the run.One of the strangest tales of obsession, mania and intrigue ever told, EYE SPY will quite literally change the way you see the world.

     THE STICK WOMAN - Priscilla has been held hostage, physically mutilated, and fed feces for years. And her situation is about to get much, much worse. SHIT-HOUSE - How bad is the world around you? How much worse could it get? How far would you go to fix it? THE USHERS - They are always there - somewhere in the background and just out of sight. A force of violence and lust. They are the ushers... THE SEA-SLOP THING - June needs a new job - and she's found it, along with something from the deepest depths of the sea.

    And that's all before he leaves for work. Mutant ninjas, a talking whale, kung-fu masters, maniacal Pilgrims and an alcoholic clown populate Chris Genoa's surreal, darkly comical and unnerving reimagining of the first Thanksgiving. Put down your feathered headdresses, puritan collars and buckled shoes and prepare to get schooled in the alternate history lesson they never mentioned in grade school.

    The women are now in their seventies and time is rendering its Accounts Payable: arthritis, cataracts, forgetfulness, and departures.From the dawn of the new millennium - at which the anti-Christ unaccountably fails to appear, despite evangelist Gayle's predictions - Peggy soldiers on through new upheavals, including her ex-husband Vern's Alzheimer's diagnosis, and the death of one of her live-in friends. Then, on a clear blue day in September 2001, the US Air Force scrambles too late to save America from four hostile attacks, and for the first time Peggy wonders if being a USAF wife - the constant worry about your husband, the faraway postings in Alaska, Norfolk, Siberia, the lack of control over your own life - was worth it.You're getting very negative in your old age, Peggy Dewey, says Lois. Sure it was worthwhile. Leastways we're not speaking Russky. And besides, we had some fun. Didn't we have some fun?

    I haven't used my powers in almost two decades. I've been a night security guard for four years and not had a panic attack for nearly ten months.Then my old teammate and best friend Vincent is murdered by another power. My carefully constructed solitude crumbles around me as the Police, the Powered Crime Agency and the rest of the team search for answers.All I want is to find out who killed him without having to dredge up too much pain from the past, but when the super-powered killer comes after me, all I'm left with are nightmares.Please note, the 3rd edition of this book has the same ISBN but a new cover and expanded title, so this is an alternate cover of the book with the details below.ISBN: 9781301455171ASIN: B00B0JOR7M

    If you agree, this is the book for you. If you disagree, it's still the book for you. But enter with caution. On your quest you will encounter anthropomorphic shit-drooling hernias, porn obsessed bridge trolls, chronic masturbators, fundamentalist Christians, voodoo pimps, politicians, hipsters, prostitutes, and also some so-called regular people. Much like the reader, Adelaide DeCarlo must endure the culmination of all these characters to decipher who the true monsters are, and to achieve her dream of self-acceptance.

    To survive it, you will have to make alliances with the sleeping demons in your blood; learn to wear new names and faces, and shed your soul; feed your inner child to the machine, before it eats you alive; build and defend your own heaven; and become one of the sacred, secret tools with which nature reinvents itself. To win this game, you will have to change into everything that you are not. To play you need only open this book and arm yourself with... Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars

    From the painted faces of a child's nightmare to discovering what we really put in our bodies in the name of health. Here are 10 tales to read with the light on.TALE #1 - "Roll up, Roll up"TALE #2 - "Late Shift"TALE #3 - "You call that music?"TALE #4 - "Whose face is this anyway?"TALE #5 - "Pink Bow"TALE #6 - "Careful what you wish for"TALE #7 - "Recycling can be hazardous to your health"TALE #8 - "Mommy's little soldier"TALE #9 - "Trick or Treat"TALE #10 - "You are what you eat"

    A scheming bastard in and out of school, Diller screws, drinks, snorts, cons and kills his way through the Lanarkshire underworld and attempts to survive the attention of his local drug-lord, Hondo, who's less than impressed by Diller's growing debt and status; He's also having a busy week at school.A brutal and wickedly funny novella inspired by The Prodigy's 'Smack my Bitch Up' music video.Contains strong language and graphic violence throughout.

    Intelligence is a universal disease, but never fear... Rotten Little Animals just may be the cure we've been praying for." - Cody Goodfellow, author of Radiant Dawn and Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars. "Looney Tunes amped up on cocaine, sex and soft, silky fur and feathers. Shamel's debut is wildly entertaining and destined to become an instant bizarro classic." - Gina Ranalli "This book has three of my favorites things: Kittens, Zombies, and Snuff Films." - Jeff Burk "It begins as a zombie film, transforms into a deranged puppet show, and ends with a car chase. If you ever wondered what a Pixar exploitation film would be like, you need Rotten Little Animals." - Cameron Pierce "Written with the humor of Adult Swim, but with enough psychological profundity to matter. Shamel is a bright motherfucker!" - Forrest Armstrong Animals are people too! And that is messed up. So they have independent cinema. See what happens when an animal film crew kidnap a human boy and make a movie of the abduction. Read things about Nature that just aren't natural. Fear your pets from this day forward. With zombie-cat attacks, gun-blasting massacres, drugged-out puppet shows, exploding car chases, camera-chickens, bat acrobats, wild sex, martini parties and torture-ROTTEN LITTLE ANIMALS is a crazy ride through the underground animal film scene and on to the Big Time.

    And once you found life, what if you could accelerate time and watch it evolve? What might you find? These are not the questions Jon Gruber ponders as he pedals to his next carpentry job. Over thirty and unmarried, he doesn't even own a car. But a new assignment challenges him to rethink his place in the world. Is he a loser? Or is he about to become a partner in an experiment of phenomenal discovery? Webster Adams, astronomer, inventor, and Jon's latest client, performs such an experiment. To Webster's amazement, he finds planets and cultures beyond his wildest dreams. His little universe turns into a discovery machine--an overnight goldmine. He and his crew observe societies so far past them on levels of technology and spirituality, that the world will be forever changed. Webster's lovely daughter, Whitney, also overwhelms Jon. She opens his eyes to the deeper meanings within the experiment by finding the most advanced beings within the project--the spirit guides from Theta 7. The Little Universe is a mind expanding concept. For Webster Adams, one question immediately comes to light. "If I can create a universe," he wonders, "then who created ours?" Can it be proven that some form of God exists? Or is life random and free-flowing without purpose? Along with Jon, you, the reader, will be presented a new perspective on life and your role in the great mystery of the universe.

    With the right connections and with the right amount of money you can run drugs, smuggle people, commit murder, and do much worse.Felix and Marta came to Mexico to film a documentary on illegal immigration. When Marta suddenly goes missing, Felix must find his lost love in the small border town. A dangerous place housing corrupt cops, borderline maniacs, and something much more worse than drug gangs, something to do with a strange Mexican food cart…From Shane McKenzie, one of the most imaginative new voices in horror comes a south of the border Texas Chainsaw Massacre.