Can Everyone Please Calm Down?: Mae Martin's Guide to 21st Century Sexuality
Mae Martin - 2019
Aside from this, though, if there's one area that I'm 100% anecdotally and personally qualified to tackle, it's sexuality. If there is a 'sexuality spectrum', then I've probably existed at every point on it at some stage in my life. This book is my attempt to demystify sexuality by narrating my own, often humiliating adventures in sex, dating, gender identity, etc. and to get everyone to Just. Calm. Down. We'll talk about the pros and cons of labels, and why history contains no stories of gay people living long, happy, successful lives. Also included: sexual fluidity, gay genes, Lady Gaga and bisexual monkeys. My dream is that we get to a point where we don't even need to discuss sexuality at all. Where it's a total non-issue, and everyone's falling in love with everyone all over the place. Seeing as we're not there yet, however, I think it is incredibly important to talk about it. Openly, and without embarrassment. I hope this book is a step in that direction. ENJOY.
The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health
Elizabeth G. Stewart - 2001
Dr. Elizabeth G. Stewart, the nation’s foremost expert in vulvovaginal care and sexual-pain disorders, answers the questions about the all too common “V” ailments that women are embarrassed to discuss even with their doctors.Drawing upon the latest medical research and two decades of experience treating thousands of women in her specialized gynecological practice, Dr. Stewart has compiled a wealth of information and advice. This comprehensive and authoritative guide for women of all ages includes:• How your vulvovaginal concerns change throughout the life cycle, from your teens through menopause and beyond• How to pick a good gynecologist, and how to ask the right questions• Dos and don’ts of V hygiene—and why sometimes less is better• The safest use of tampons, pads, and pantiliners• How to handle common symptoms, such as redness, itching, dryness, and discharge• Which medical tests you should insist upon from your doctor• Tips for safe and pleasurable sex, and what to do when sexual intercourse is painful• The latest research on vulvodynia, the vaginal pain syndrome that won’t go away• Diagnosing and treating yeast infections, allergies, and other ailments• What to do if your doctor detects cancer or precancer cellsAnd much, much more...
Inseparable: Desire Between Women in Literature
Emma Donoghue - 2010
Emma Donoghue brings to bear all her knowledge and grasp to examine how desire between women in English literature has been portrayed, from schoolgirls and vampires to runaway wives, from cross-dressing knights to contemporary murder stories. Donoghue looks at the work of those writers who have addressed the “unspeakable subject,” examining whether such desire between women is freakish or omnipresent, holy or evil, heartwarming or ridiculous as she excavates a long-obscured tradition of (inseparable) friendship between women, one that is surprisingly central to our cultural history.Donoghue writes about the half-dozen contrasting girl-girl plots that have been told and retold over the centuries, metamorphosing from generation to generation. What interests the author are the twists and turns of the plots themselves and how these stories have changed—or haven’t—over the centuries, rather than how they reflect their time and society. Donoghue explores the writing of Sade, Diderot, Balzac, Thomas Hardy, H. Rider Haggard, Elizabeth Bowen, and others and the ways in which the woman who desires women has been cast as not quite human, as ghost or vampire.She writes about the ever-present triangle, found in novels and plays from the last three centuries, in which a woman and man compete for the heroine’s love . . . about how—and why—same-sex attraction is surprisingly ubiquitous in crime fiction, from the work of Wilkie Collins and Dorothy L. Sayers to P. D. James.Finally, Donoghue looks at the plotline that has dominated writings about desire between women since the late nineteenth century: how a woman’s life is turned upside down by the realization that she desires another woman, whether she comes to terms with this discovery privately, “comes out of the closet,” or is publicly “outed.”She shows how this narrative pattern has remained popular and how it has taken many forms, in the works of George Moore, Radclyffe Hall, Patricia Highsmith, and Rita Mae Brown, from case-history-style stories and dramas, in and out of the courtroom, to schoolgirl love stories and rebellious picaresques. A revelation of a centuries-old literary tradition—brilliant, amusing, and until now, deliberately overlooked.
F*cked: Being Sexually Explorative and Self-Confident in a World That's Screwed
Corinne Fisher - 2017
As the podcast grew, and Corinne and Krystyna got to know their fans, stories of sexual assault, verbal and emotional abuse, and crippling shame became common topics of discussion along with those humorous conversations highlighting overall sexual confusion among many adults. The podcast is now an community of over a million listeners worldwide, and a place where any and all taboo sex topics are discussed freely, both with celebrity guests and the real people in their lives.Their new book, F*cked, follows that model, as Corinne and Krystyna bring a mix of raw, ridiculous, and serious sexual conversation to the page that will include topics like:Why shame is completely made up and how we can stop giving into itSexual exploration and how it sometimes ends in a trip to the ERStuff we should stop doing: Snooping, nitpicking our bodies, and faking orgasmsAsking your sexual partner uncomfortable questionsHow to get yourself out of an unsafe situationMasturbation, threesomes, porn, sex toys, butt stuffAnd much, much moreCorinne and Krystyna are tired of books that pander to women like they’re hot messes, unable to handle their emotions without the assistance of a man, a glass of rosé, and a Xanax. This book will teach the reader, be they male, female, transgender or undecided, that you deal with sh*t, you brush your shoulder off, and you move the f*ck on. In a society where it has, for some reason, become chic to be the victim, they say this pity party ends now.This is a guide to love and sex for women who drink whiskey because they like it, not because it’s a cute thing to say on your Tinder profile. It has no trigger warnings because life doesn’t come with those. It won’t talk down to you or coddle you because you’re better than that. Corinne and Krystyna aren’t going to explain why he’s just not that into you, because it doesn’t f*cking matter. Despite what television, Rom-Coms, and glossy magazines tell you, you’re fine all by yourself. This is the book Bridget Jones should’ve read instead of writing that sh*tty diary in the first place.
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
John M. Gottman - 2019
Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range—from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions—will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve.
Why Men Love Bitches
Sherry Argov - 2002
With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask: · Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change? · Why do men take nice girls for granted? · Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself? Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry—you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.
10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives
Joe Kort - 2003
Joe Kort explores as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a gay man. Dr. Kort points out that the beginning of this journey is about taking responsibility for your own life, and reading this book shows you exactly how to do this. Readers will learn how to identify their own internalized homophobia that is preventing many of gay men from leading satisfying lives and keeping them from having healthy relationships.Gay men often say that after coming out they feel better at first, but for many it doesn't last. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives provides a thorough map for navigating through the difficult terrain of becoming the gay man you want to be in the context of your family, of your sexual health, and ultimately of a partnered relationship.* Discover how to find your authentic gay self* Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship* Understand how to understand loved ones who disapprove of you being gay* Overcome damaging patterns that are holding you back from a healthy sex life
Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match
Amy Webb - 2013
Most don’t find true love. Thanks to Data, a Love Story, their odds just got a whole lot better. Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match is a lively, thought-provoking memoir about how one woman “gamed” the world of online dating—and met her eventual husband.
A Curious History of Sex
Kate Lister - 2020
Rather, this is a drop in the ocean, a paddle in the shallow end of sex history, but I hope you will get pleasantly wet nonetheless.The act of sex has not changed since people first worked out what went where, but the ways in which society dictates how sex is culturally understood and performed have varied significantly through the ages. Humans are the only creatures that stigmatise particular sexual practices, and sex remains a deeply divisive issue around the world. Attitudes will change and grow – hopefully for the better – but sex will never be free of stigma or shame unless we acknowledge where it has come from.
Woman on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual Intelligence
Amy Jo Goddard - 2015
The prevalence of low sexual desire ranges from 26.7% among premenopausal men to 52.4% among naturally menopausal women. That is an enormous segment of women who are frustrated about their lack of desire and wonder what's wrong. But in Woman on Fire, Amy Jo Goddard shows us that the more whole we are as sexual beings, the more fulfilled we are as human beings. In this accessible, prescriptive book, Amy Jo reveals her holistic, inside-out approach to developing Sexual Empowerment. Women from 20 to 70 come to her workshops with issues like these: "What am I missing?" "I don't like sex the way everyone else seems to." "How do I maintain desire after having kids?" "How do I build sexual confidence?" In answer, Amy Jo shows us how to master the 9 Elements of a Sexually Empowered Life and includes stories from the thousands of women she has worked with. She shows us how to get (back) in touch with desire, explore vulnerability and play, and push the boundaries of what we think is acceptable. We will not just have better sex, we will have more pleasure throughout life and more intimate relationships, whether we have many partners or one.
What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
Aubrey Gordon - 2020
In What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people's experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage readers to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.By sharing her experiences as well as those of others--from smaller fat to very fat people--she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27% of very fat women and 13% of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50% of doctors describe their fat patients as awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant; and in 48 states, it's legal--even routine--to deny employment because of an applicant's size.Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.
The Argonauts
Maggie Nelson - 2015
At its center is a romance: the story of the author's relationship with the artist Harry Dodge. This story, which includes Nelson's account of falling in love with Dodge, who is fluidly gendered, as well as her journey to and through a pregnancy, offers a firsthand account of the complexities and joys of (queer) family-making.Writing in the spirit of public intellectuals such as Susan Sontag and Roland Barthes, Nelson binds her personal experience to a rigorous exploration of what iconic theorists have said about sexuality, gender, and the vexed institutions of marriage and child-rearing. Nelson's insistence on radical individual freedom and the value of caretaking becomes the rallying cry of this thoughtful, unabashed, uncompromising book.
It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
Sara Eckel - 2014
Even the most self-possessed singleton may come to doubt herself. ?"You're too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you'll be fine." "You're too desperate. If men think you need them, they'll run scared." "You're too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates." "You have low self-esteem. You can't love someone else until you've learned to love yourself.""You're too needy. You can't be happy in a relationship until you've learned to be happy on your own." It's Not You is structured around the many messages that singles, especially single women, get about who they are and who they're supposed to be. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with single women, Eckel creates a strong argument for why you should love yourself as you are--no change necessary. By debunking the myths that have kept single women doubting themselves, Eckel encourages singles to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them, as they begin to understand and accept there's no one reason they're single--they just are.
A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis
David M. Friedman - 2001
Here, in an enlightening and entertaining cultural study, is a book that puts into context the central role of the penis within Western civilization. Deified by ancient pagan cultures and demonized by the early Roman church, the penis was later secularized by pioneering anatomists such as Leonardo da Vinci. After being measured 'scientifically' in an effort to subjugate some races while elevating others, the organ was psychoanalysed by Sigmund Freud. Now, after being politicized by feminism and exploited in countless ways by pop culture, Friedman shows how the arrival of erection industry products such as Viagra is more than a health or business story. It is the latest chapter in one of the longest sagas in human history: the story of man's relationship with his penis.
Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey Into Manhood and Back Again
Norah Vincent - 2006
For more than a year and a half she ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow, a crew cut, wire-rim glasses, and her own size 11 1/2 shoes—a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. The result is a sympathetic, shrewd, and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism that's destined to challenge preconceptions and attract enormous attention. With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie undetectable to an outsider. A stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut-wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed. She frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all-male communities as hermetically sealed as a men's therapy group, and even a monastery. Narrated in her utterly captivating prose style and with exquisite insight, humor, empathy, nuance, and at great personal cost, Norah uses her intimate firsthand experience to explore the many remarkable mysteries of gender identity as well as who men are apart from and in relation to women. Far from becoming bitter or outraged, Vincent ended her journey astounded—and exhausted—by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity. Having gone where no woman (who wasn't an aspiring or actual transsexual) has gone for any significant length of time, let alone eighteen months, Norah Vincent's surprising account is an enthralling reading experience and a revelatory piece of anecdotally based gender analysis that is sure to spark fierce and fascinating conversation.