He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    But the heart came from a vampire, and he wants it back. The heart of a vampire is a powerful and valuable thing. From rabid dog-monsters to mysterious con-men and clandestine government agencies, there's no shortage of people who are after the heart that now beats in Maddy's chest. As people start dying all around her, Maddy begins to realize that she's in mortal danger. A mysterious figure arrives on the scene, offering to save her, but can even he be trusted? Maddy must make a decision fast, and the consequences could change the world forever. Will Maddy get to keep her heart? Who will win the struggle to win her trust? Why did one of the world's most powerful vampires lose his heart in the first place? And what dark forces are working behind the scenes to change the fate of the entire world?

    But nothing prepared him for Milkwood: a fat, ugly bastard who could take a beating like a government mule, but never, ever won. So when Malcolm risks his life to discover Milkwood's secret, he convinces the fighter to stop being a punching bag and to go for broke in the local tournament. Only problem? A beautiful woman called Lash who needs Milkwood for her own purposes, and a fouler creature on her heels known only as Dizzy Colt. But for Malcolm and Milkwood? Hell, it’s just another day of Blood and SawdustPRAISE FOR BLOOD AND SAWDUST!"With wicked, playful prose that blends the best of pulp with the supernatural, Jason Ridler’s Blood and Sawdust creates an unholy, hell-raising hybrid, the kind of tale Christopher Moore and Jim Thompson might swap after a long night of drinking, trying to one-up one another with acerbic absurdity." Joe Clifford, Author of CHOICE CUTS and JUNKIE LOVEPRAISE FOR THE WORK OF JASON RIDLER!"An exciting new writer." Lucius Shepard, multiple-award-winning author of HANDBOOK OF AMERICAN PRAYER. “Jason Ridler is kind of like a bull rider who’s tossed a saddle on a Tiger tank, and he’s riding that bucking sucker for all he’s worth, because, hey, no one told him that he couldn’t do it, did they? So here he is, the Man in the Barbed-Wire Straitjacket." Norman Partridge, Award Winning Author of DARK HARVEST. "Jason Ridler’s work is intense and taut, with incredible characters and plots that keep your mind buzzing long after you’ve reached the final page." Trent Zelazny, author of TOO LATE TO CALL TEXAS, and FRACTAL DESPONDENCY. ABOUT THE AUTHORJason S. Ridler is the author of BLOOD AND SAWDUST, the Spar Battersea thrillers (DEATH MATCH, CON JOB and DICE ROLL), the short story collection KNOCKOUTS, and has published over fifty stories in such magazines and anthologies as Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Brain Harvest, Chilling Tales, and more. His popular non-fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, Dark Scribe, and the Internet Review of Science Fiction. A former punk rock musician and cemetery groundskeeper, Mr. Ridler holds a Ph.D. in War Studies from the Royal Military College of Canada. Visit him at twitter at http://twitter.com/JayRidler, Facebook ,http://www.facebook.com/Ridlerville, or his writing blog, Ridlerville, atwww.jsridler.com

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    Relive the day she first joined the supernatural community and discover how her bond with the human Lisa Jenkins first began. Also meet regional Psychic, Morgan and the vampire that would get under Ava's skin from their first encounter in a 24 hour super market. Then, In Ava versus the Rogue Vampire, follow Ava and Lisa on their first real "assignment" on behalf of Morgan when a rogue vampire slips into Vampire Queen Belinda's territory and starts killing indiscriminately. Just don't expect Ava and Belinda to share a hug when it is done...

    His assailant disappears, the knife in his pocket, the blood of the old-one seared into its sharpened edge. The knife trades hands, drawing blood again, and the old-one is resurrected through his victims’ consciousness and divided, spreading through the infected. With his horde of infected youth, the old-one must reclaim the knife to regain control of his soul. But someone is out to stop him...

    Join her on this whimsical journey as she discovers the beauty of life and love on Earth.Author Ann Crawford's trademark optimism brings us a witty and wise book filled with memorable characters and insights into what makes us all so very human.

    Channeling "the primal vision of Hart Crane" (Harold Bloom), Adam Fitzgerald helped welcome the modernist aethetic into the twenty-first century. Part Technicolor, part nitrous oxide, Fitzgerald's chimerical poems confront "a surging ocean of sound and language" (Maureen McLane). In these forty-eight poems, he conducts a madcap symphony of language, memory, and fantasy with the "exhilarating assurance of nonstop invention" (Timothy Donnelly).

    But the book takes on deeper, stranger meanings when we contend with Ariel's obsession with the disappearance of her best friend, Jeni, who vanished without a trace a few years before. Her emptiness of spirit seems finally to find some healing with three mysterious, beautiful and seductive young people living in a strange old house in the Berkeley hills. But at what price?

    Every day blood is spilled. Every place that rain falls, it washes away some of the red that stains the streets.Eliminating every killer in the Sixth World is as impossible as drying up every raindrop in a storm, but Thomas McAllister doesn’t want to get rid of all of them. Just one. He’s been on this killer’s trail for a while, and he knows he’s getting closer. The only question is if he’ll be able to handle getting as close as he’s about to be, or if his blood will join the stream that regularly flows into the gutters of the sprawls.

     They say everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but why are so many of them coming to life? Tempest and Amanda work at the only paranormal detective agency in the book and business is booming. This second box set gives you over 1000 pages of pulse-pounding hilarious paranormal mayhem as they get themselves into yet more hot water solving cases no one else would be dumb enough to take. Dead Pirates of Cawsand – A ghost ship has been spotted off the coast of a quiet Cornish village where gold coins were recently found. Now skeletal pirates are wandering the streets, hiding in the mist to strike fear into the local community because they want their gold back. But they didn’t count on England’s best paranormal P.I. turning up. His well-earned break soon goes sideways as murder, kidnap, and ghost hunters ruin his vacation and threaten more than just his life. In the Doodoo with Voodoo – A client cursed by a voodoo priest is the start of a case that will push Amanda to her very limits. With Tempest away in Cornwall, Amanda has no back up, but she wants to do this for herself even though the priest is a scary character. However, when BFF Patience goes missing, it’s a race against time to solve the case before someone dies and she is about to find out just how badly she underestimated her suspect. The Witches of East Malling – There’s a storm brewing. It’s late Autumn in England, but the wet weather is hiding a dark crime – witches using lighting to kill! Hired to investigate, Tempest soon becomes a target himself when he comes face to face with a witch and she knows who and what he is. Is he closing in on the coven, or are they closing in on him? The deadly conclusion with leave you breathless. Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens – Aliens? Really? There are lights in the sky, crop circles in the fields and the cows are producing glowing milk. It’s Amanda’s case, and seems a simple one until the first body shows up. Suddenly she has a mystery person leaving her clues, an internet star trying to help her investigation and conspiracy nuts raining from the sky. Is this the first wave of an alien invasion, or something far worse? Whispers in the Rigging – His dad reported stories of a ghost in the old Royal Dockyard, but that’s not why Tempest is going undercover. He’s there because his dad was found unconscious in a dumpster when he tried to poke around. Now Tempest must find out what is going on, but all too soon he realises there’s something beneath the dockyard that is much worse than ghosts. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get them killed.

    He's in dire straits.From Bestselling authors Isobella Crowley and Michael Anderle.Last Ditch Effort:While his rapidly dwindling checking account is a problem, Remy finds out the last company he owns is run by something that goes bump in the night.And she is willing to bump him off if he fails to live up to her expectations.Trying to get sober, Remy needs to work the day shift for Moonlight Detective Agency. Can he learn the ropes before the faeries, werewolves or his supposed employee kills him off?There is only one way to find out. Accomplish what Taylor sets out for him to do, or die trying.Diamond in The Rough:The secret world is being hidden by a vampire hundreds of years old - and her human frat-boy apprentice. He might shape up to be an asset. If she doesn't kill him first.Between setting up the office and hiring new preternatural staff, with some surprising...talents, Taylor tasks Remy with a new case.She assumes he will stick to her instructions.But this is Remy.Reformed frat boy. Low compliance. With a desperate need to prove himself...Of course, he won’t stick to the plan.So when things heat up with the dwarven cartel - and the preternatural world order hangs in the balance - it'll take everything Taylor has to prevent the city of NY being exposed to all she's managed to kept secret for centuries.Will Taylor decide that Remy needs to take the final nap for the benefit of everyone? Will everything go up in a Frat-Boy blaze of glory? What happens when Remy starts to get a clue?A GIrl's Best Friend:Taylor sets Remy on the trail of a dwarven drug cartel responsible for supplying humans with preternatural drugs. Is this just another way to test if Remy can stay alive?Drugs that are deadly to humans. In order to prevent countless human deaths and keep the preternatural world hidden, Remy has to stop the deal from happening AND take out the supply chain.This would be just a regular Tuesday except Moswen is closing in and her attacks are getting more targeted.To save both worlds, the team have to survive – and that is going to take all their wits and resources - and wits are in short supply.Under Pressure:With Moswen still on the loose and the whole preternatural world in mortal danger, Taylor realizes that drastic times call for drastic measures.Meanwhile, Remy and the team - oblivious to the dire situation Taylor is getting into - work to track down Moswen and her goons.A clear plan of what they're going to do if they find her, eludes them...How do they take on the world's oldest, most powerful vampire?Of course, Moswen is tracking their every move and intends to pick them off one by one before they can get close.Their only course of action is to go balls out to take her out first, in the most cunning way they know how...Will what they know be enough? Or will Moswen accomplish killing Taylor and completing her plans?

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.