Well, we offer you YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand. The human body is beautiful and mysterious. The mysterious part reeks of cheese. But no part of your body is as scary and horrifying as your head! In YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD: The Darkest, Most Offensive--and Moist--Secrets of Your Mouth, Nose and Ears, Dr. & Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey reveal -- through newly discovered discoveries -- all the ways in which your head disappoints you. With such amazing information as: • The ear was invented and designed by Feranando de la Mancini Goldfarb, in 1911, which was also a good year for yeast. • Good Reasons for teeth removal: dentist did it; peer pressure; not sharp enough; found better teeth, like, on the ground; suspected of enjoying flossing; decay and mouth politics. • The real reason your ears can't hear your pets talking. The answer is simple: your pet is a mumbler." With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the second volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, YOUR DISGUSTING HEAD will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.

    The author instructs in coil, slab, mold, and pinch techniques to produce pots, bowls, vases, tiles, and other decorative pieces. She also advises on acquiring basic tools, mixing and preparing clay, and using coloring agents. Newcomers to pottery crafting will especially appreciate her tips for making projects easier to accomplish, such as use of a hairdryer at regular intervals for drying out too-wet clay, and easy methods for keeping clay soft and pliable. Step-by-step color photos with detailed captions guide handcrafters through each project from start to finish. Many photos are of the cutaway type to show correct hand positions for controlling the clay, both inside and outside the form. Here's the book that takes the mystery out of handbuilding in clay, demonstrating each step in the pottery-making process. More than 400 color photos.

    It traces his beginnings in British Columbia growing up hearing a wealth of music, continues through his rapid rise to professional status, touring and recording with Steve Vai and developing his career with Strapping Young Lad and Devin Townsend Project. More than just an honest and intimate autobiography though, Only Half There is also a brutally honest expression of his life as a working, touring and recording artist, a husband, father and bi-polar artist.

    Therein lies the trouble with drawing them from life. Make your dragon portraits more authentic (while avoiding loss of life and limbs) with the help of this guide. A follow-up to the fiercely popular DragonArt, this book features ALL NEW dragons and EVEN MORE detailed dragon anatomy instruction.- 60+ step-by-step demonstrations cover a variety of dragons, including medieval, fairy and sea-dwelling varieties - In-depth advice for drawing every part of the beast--eyes, ears, horns, wings, scale patterns, limbs and more - Extra tips and tricks provided by your dragon guide, DolosusaIt's everything you need to draw a variety of dragons--from enormous, ancient beasts with broken scales and fractured horns, to sleek, sinuous creatures with leathery skin and fancy frills. So steel your heart, prepare your trusty inking pen, and venture forth, brave artist--unleash the ferocious, extraordinary, original beasts that dwell within your fiery imaginings!

    Thousands of photographs and illustrations combine with behind-thescenes information to form the ultimate Pixarpedia. © 2009 Disney/PIXAR

    College level text for art appreciation.

    Every artist starts with the basics and here is a step-by-step guide to them all. With this how to draw for kids book, every kid can be creative and capture whatever catches their eye.In How to Draw, kids ages 9-12 will try their hand at everything from magical creatures and cartoons to realistic landscapes, portraits, and so much more. Covering basic techniques as they go, this book will prepare and inspire young artists to create their very own masterpieces. It’s easier than you think.How to draw for kids includes: Age-appropriate basics—Kids will learn how to shade dark and light, use perspective, create 3D shapes effects, and more. Easy-to-follow steps—Get start-to-finish instruction for every exercise. Cool pictures—Unicorns, faces of friends and neighbors, buildings, plants and trees—the possibilities are as endless as your child’s creativity. Every kid has the potential to be creative—this how to draw for kids workbook nurtures their confidence step-by-step.

    Also discusses meteors, comets, eclipses, and other celestial objects.

    As always, Gorey's painstakingly cross-hatched pen and ink drawings are perfectly suited to his oddball verse and prose. The first book of 15, "The Unstrung Harp," describes the writing process of novelist Mr. Clavius Frederick Earbrass: "He must be mad to go on enduring the unexquisite agony of writing when it all turns out drivel." In "The Listing Attic," you'll find a set of quirky limericks such as "A certain young man, it was noted, / Went about in the heat thickly coated; / He said, 'You may scoff, / But I shan't take it off; / Underneath I am horribly bloated.' "Many of Gorey's tales involve untimely deaths and dreadful mishaps, but much like tragic Irish ballads with their perky rhythms and melodies, they come off as strangely lighthearted. "The Gashlycrumb Tinies," for example, begins like this: "A is for AMY who fell down the stairs, B is for BASIL assaulted by bears," and so on. An eccentric, funny book for either the uninitiated or diehard Gorey fans.Contains: The Unstrung Harp, The Listing Attic, The Doubtful Guest, The Object Lesson, The Bug Book, The Fatal Lozenge, The Hapless Child, The Curious Sofa, The Willowdale Handcar, The Gashlycrumb Tinies, The Insect God, The West Wing, The Wuggly Ump, The Sinking Spell, and The Remembered Visit.

    Author Gemma Elwin Harris has lovingly compiled weighty questions from precocious grade school children—queries that have long dumbfounded even intelligent adults—and she’s gathered together a notable crew of scientists, specialists, philosophers, and writers to answer them.Authors Mary Roach and Phillip Pullman, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins, chef Gordon Ramsay, adventurist Bear Gryllis, and linguist Noam Chomsky are among the top experts responding to the Big Questions from Little People, (“Do animals have feelings?”, “Why can’t I tickle myself?”, “Who is God?”) with well-known comedians, columnists, and raconteurs offering hilarious alternative answers. Miles above your average general knowledge and trivia collections, this charming compendium is a book fans of the E.H. Gombrich classic, A Little History of the World, will adore.

    There's a `just right' quality to the verse that makes it a pleasure to read the words aloud. Because it appeals on so many levels, this is one poetry book that won't sit on the shelf for long."—Booklist.This New York Times Notable Book of the Year is a wonderful introduction to the pleasures of poetry and word play from a master of the genre, Jack Prelutsky.

    Now, at a veritable fairy-tale moment—witness the popular television shows Grimm and Once Upon a Time and this year’s two movie adaptations of “Snow White”—Philip Pullman, one of the most popular authors of our time, makes us fall in love all over again with the immortal tales of the Brothers Grimm.From much-loved stories like “Cinderella” and “Rumpelstiltskin,” “Rapunzel” and “Hansel and Gretel” to lesser-known treasures like “Briar-Rose,” “Thousandfurs,” and “The Girl with No Hands,” Pullman retells his fifty favorites, paying homage to the tales that inspired his unique creative vision—and that continue to cast their spell on the Western imagination.

    Includes 52 Scrapbooking challenges that help you think outside of your creative box and expand your individual style.

    59 elephant jokes, including Why are elephants banned from public swimming pools They always drop their trunks. Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like Knock, knock./ Who's there?/Raven./Raven who?/Raven lunatic who wants to knock your door down!Plus teacher jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, and why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes. And a whole section of tongue twisters, specializing in the yucky. Try saying "sneaking in my creaky squeaky reeking sneakers." but the jokes are just the beginning— Jokelopedia is loaded with joke-telling tips and profiles of famously funny people, from Will Ferrell to SpongeBob SquarePants (Hey, wait—is SpongeBob really a person?)Packed with 1,700 kid-friendly jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns, this new edition of JOKELOPEDIA is the bible for incurable jokesters, class clowns, and aspiring comedians. Here are doctor jokes, robber jokes, teacher jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes. Lightbulb jokes, movie star jokes, gross-out jokes, vampire jokes, elephant jokes. The classics, fresh variations on the classics, and jokes with nothing classic about them. The guffaws are organized into categories for easy reference, and the book is sprinkled throughout with amusing facts, joke-telling pointers and tips, and informational spotlights on favorite funny people, including Mike Myers, Will Ferrell, and SpongeBob SquarePants.Did you hear about the two antennae that met on a rooftop, fell in love, and got married?The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was amazing!What kind of books do skunks read?Best-smellers.

    It's impossible not to flip the page, and flip it again, and again, and again. A first book of motion for kids, it shows a horse in full gallop and a turtle swimming up the page. A dog runs, a cat springs, an eagle soars, and a butterfly flutters. Created by Rufus Butler Seder, an inventor, artist, and filmmaker fascinated by antique optical toys, Scanimation is a state-of-the-art six-phase animation process that combines the "persistence of vision" principle with a striped acetate overlay to give the illusion of movement. It harkens back to the old magical days of the kinetoscope, and the effect is astonishing, like a Muybridge photo series springing into action—or, in terms kids can relate to, like a video without a screen. Complementing the art is a delightful rhyming text full of simple questions and fun, nonsense replies: Can you gallop like a horse? giddyup-a-loo! Can you strut like a rooster? cock-a-doodle-doo!Every child who opens the book will be amazed—and so will every parent.