Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    But long before he put on the deputy's star, he grew up in Nigeria, where his experiences were equally unforgettable. In THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES, LawDog chronicles his encounters with everything from bush pilots, 15-foot pythons, pygmy mongooses, brigadier-captains, and Peace Corp hippies to the Nigerian space program. THE LAWDOG FILES: AFRICAN ADVENTURES are every bit as hilarious as the previous volume, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. Africa wins again, and again, and again, but, so too does the reader in this sobering, but hilarious collection of true tales from the Dark Continent.

    Who would have ever guessed that during his journey, “Loner” as he’s known in hiker circles, would be bitten by a dog (and a lobster), happen upon a plane crash, chat with a wanted fugitive, come face to face with a black bear, see a ghost, be in a car accident, run completely out of money (twice), spend the night under a jail, lose 80 pounds, and find the girl of his dreams. All to have the time of his life, feel the kindness of others, and ultimately learn, he’s not a loner after all. Documenting his trip on YouTube for friends and family, thousands more also followed along, vicariously. This story captures the excitement, sometimes sadness, and danger of a thru-hike with many added details, funny characters, and dozens of incidents never revealed before. More than just a memoir, aspiring thru-hikers will find “Hiker Tips” on ultralight backpacking (Loner’s pack weight was just 13 pounds), hammock camping, living on a budget, etc. Readers will also gain rare insight into a subculture with its own ethics, trail names, hostel system, language, and folklore. Happy hiking! And don’t forget… Find some adventure - in your adventure!

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    This book lets you hop aboard a little sailboat and join the author on a three-year-long voyage across French Polynesia, where you will discover some of the most interesting places, people and wildlife of the South Pacific. From the world-famous island of Bora Bora to the remotest atolls of the Tuamotus, experience the challenges and rewards of the seafaring life as you dive with dolphins and sharks, sail under the stars, drink from fresh coconuts in the company of heavily-tattooed men, brave heavy storms and violent currents, play with stingrays, drift down coral rivers and meet fellow sailors from across the world. Beautifully illustrated with dozens of stunning photos, this book is the perfect companion for anyone curious about a different kind of life. Readers have said: Reading the book, I was surrounded by unfamiliar colours and overwhelmed by the scent of flowers I had never touched. I could feel the soft sand beneath my feet and slipped beneath the water to swim in the deep silence of the ocean. Returning to the surface, I encountered the smiles of people who were content in the here and now, embodying the freedom and softness of their lives, their lively hips moving in its rhythm. We should all go there once to bathe in the endless sunshine, the grace of carelessness and faith in life, even if only by reading this book… Translated from Slovene by Kaja Šeruga Edited by Mitja Tretjak Design by Ivica Jandrijevic

    He’s lost:His home…His girlfriend of nine years…His love of travel…His hair, and much of his confidenceBut then, during an argument with his deeply irritating friend Nick, he checks his spam folder and finds a mysterious invitation to the trip of a lifetime. If he takes it, maybe he can turn everything around?Except Nick decides he’s coming too.What could go wrong?Well, just about everything when Adam: Fights a mandrill in South Africa armed with only a sock Tests black magic with a witch doctor’s love spell Develops an erotic attraction to a purple Cadillac in Havana Hikes into a volcano to meet people with perhaps the worst job in the world Visits a bizarre, bloody funeral hosted by the strangest tribe in Indonesia Learns why it’s a bad idea to become a gold digger in Papua New GuineaCan he change himself and his life? And if so, will the price be worth paying?Both about the people who go, and the places they visit, Don’t Come Back is a hilarious travelogue-meets-memoir full of weird characters, awkward situations, and delightfully British humour.It can be read on its own or as a follow-up to Don't Go There.Come on an unforgettable journey today!

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    Ready for it?"God is here."It may sound obvious at first, but truly understanding these three words is the key to more happiness, less boredom, more rest, less rush, more love, less drama, more peace, less fear.A deeply satisfying life doesn't require a sabbatical, a mission trip, or a New Year's resolution. As long as God is glorious enough and near enough, you can enjoy the life that is truly life--not just the cheap substitutes we've settled for.This book will help you move from just enjoying the good moments in life to worshiping the God who is right here, right now. This movement will exponentially increase your happiness, peace, and contentment. It will allow you to shake off the guilt and shame of sin and see yourself as God sees you. Learn how to recognize God's impact on your life and find the joy he's been waiting to give you.

    It is the follow-up book to Police, Crime & 999, a book which still remains hugely popular today, with over 250 5-star Amazon reviews, and which garnered positive feedback from a number of national publications:‘Everything is included in this warts-and-all account. Very funny’ The Sun‘A treasure trove of a book – a wonderfully informative and addictive read, full of belly laughs’ The Non-Fiction Book ClubWARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

    Molly gives us his unforgettable encounters with The Beatles, Elton John, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, John Farnham, Bruce Springsteen, the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Russell Crowe, Oasis, Beyonce and Prince. As well as the tales that surround his other loves: the Australian cricket team, the St Kilda footy club and the Melbourne Storm."I have a lot of love for the great Ian 'Molly' Meldrum" - Shane WarneNo one has lived a life like Ian 'Molly' Meldrum. And no one can tell a story like Molly.

    Welshman has had a lifetime filled with exciting encounters with animals. As a lad in Nigeria, he is attacked by soldier ants and terrified by a snake in his treehouse. His treasured companion, Poucher, an African bush dog, prevents him and his mother from being savaged by baboons. Once qualified as a vet Malcolm has to attempt life-saving surgery on his beloved parrot. On a road trip across the Sahara, there is a tussle with a lame camel and the operation on an Ostrich gored by an antelope. Settling back in West Sussex in England, he tackles a cow that’s got stuck in a tree, wily cats and battles with cunning badgers and baby bats. He shares all these fascinating experiences in this gently humorous memoir that will guarantee to tug at the heart strings while bringing a smile to your face. Anyone who loves animals will be enchanted and enthralled.‘A witty take on a young vet’s life that pet lovers will find endearing.’ – Bel Mooney, Daily Mail.‘A joyful read full of animals and fun.’ – Celia Haddon, author and former Daily Telegraph columnist.‘Bursting with exotic creatures and eccentric characters, this touching memoir makes for a spellbinding read where the author’s love of animals shines through.’ – Jenny Itzcovitz, editor of Sixtyplussurfers.co.uk.

    Tom Chesshyre took a different approach - he jumped on a plane and became the first to return to the region as a tourist. The result is the fascinating, street-level tale of a journey through lands fresh from revolution – Tunisia, Libya and Egypt. Chesshyre heads for tourist sites that few have seen in recent years, as well as new 'attractions' like Gaddafi's bombed-out bunker in Tripoli. In a book both touching and humorous, he describes being abducted in Libya, listening to the sound of Kalashnikovs at night and talking to ordinary people struggling to get by.  On the second anniversary of the Arab Spring, this is the ideal time for this book.

     What was Paris to Hemingway, and he to Paris? And how much of his city survives for us to visit and explore? In Hemingway's Paris: A User's Guide, prize-winning author John Baxter (The Most Beautiful Walk in the World) evokes the French capital as it was between 1921 and 1926, when Hemingway lived there, and provides a unique insider's guide to the city he knew and loved. John Baxter was born in Australia, but has lived in Paris for 25 years, most of that time in the building which Sylvia Beach made her home while running the famous Shakespeare and Company bookshop. As well as writing extensively about the city and its history, he leads literary walks around sites associated with James Joyce, Gertrude Stein, F Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway. More details on www.johnbaxterparis.com.

    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.