Book picks similar to
Midnight Musings of a Family Therapist by Carl A. Whitaker
psychology
nonfiction
therapy
family
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Mark Wolynn - 2016
Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.
Incredibull Stella: How the Love of a Pit Bull Rescued a Family
Marika Meeks - 2019
The adorable pit bull puppy had been abandoned in a cold field in winter - but her warm, friendly eyes and boundless affection could melt anyone's heart. Even so, Marika wasn't sure she was ready to adopt a dog. As a busy entrepreneur, wife, and mother of two daughters, Marika's life was crazy already. She was recovering from stage-three breast cancer, and her family was still reeling from her brush with mortality. But Marika couldn't deny the way Stella made her feel - the pure joy of this sweet-natured dog's unconditional love - and she knew in her heart what her family needed....In a leap of faith, the Meekses welcomed Stella into their home, and thanks to this incredible dog, the daily pressures of work, stress, and Marika's health problems seemed to slip away. As Marika's cancer receded and her family found renewed vitality, she began sharing Stella's story with the world. Now an international social media star, Stella helps Marika to spread their heartfelt message of advocating for pit bull breed awareness, explaining the benefits of pet ownership and supporting shelters and other organizations that save animals' lives.
Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
Glennon Doyle Melton - 2013
She believes that by shedding our armor, we can stop hiding, competing, striving for the mirage of perfection, and making motherhood, marriage, and friendship harder by pretending they’re not hard. In this one woman trying to love herself and others, readers find a wise and witty friend who will inspire them to forgive their own imperfections, make the most of their gifts, and commit to small acts of love that will change the world.
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
Esther Perel - 2006
She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers
The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity
Axton Betz-Hamilton - 2019
When she was 11 years old, her parents both had their identities stolen. Their credit ratings were ruined, and they were constantly fighting over money. This was before the age of the Internet, when identity theft became more commonplace, so authorities and banks were clueless and reluctant to help Axton's parents.Axton's family changed all of their personal information and moved to different addresses, but the identity thief followed them wherever they went. Convinced that the thief had to be someone they knew, Axton and her parents completely cut off the outside world, isolating themselves from friends and family. Axton learned not to let anyone into the house without explicit permission, and once went as far as chasing a plumber off their property with a knife.As a result, Axton spent her formative years crippled by anxiety, quarantined behind the closed curtains in her childhood home. She began starving herself at a young age in an effort to blend in--her appearance could be nothing short of perfect or she would be scolded by her mother, who had become paranoid and consumed by how others perceived the family.Years later, her parents' marriage still shaken from the theft, Axton discovered that she, too, had fallen prey to the identity thief, but by the time she realized, she was already thousands of dollars in debt and her credit was ruined.
The Algebra of Happiness: Finding the Equation for a Life Well Lived
Scott Galloway - 2019
His students are smart and hardworking, but they struggle with life's biggest questions, just like the rest of us. What's the formula for a life well lived? How can you have a meaningful career, not just a lucrative one? Is work/life balance really possible? What does it take to make a long-term relationship succeed?Galloway explores these and many other questions in the take-no-prisoners style that has made him a sought-after commentator and YouTube star. For example...If (Money In) - (Money Out) > 0, you're rich.The definition of "rich" is income greater than your burn rate. My dad and his wife receive about $50K/year and spend $40K. They are rich. I have friends who earn more than $1 million, but with several children in private schools, an ex-wife, a home in the Hamptons, and the lifestyle of a master of the universe, they spend nearly all of it. They are poor.Compound interest = the key to relationships.Most of us know how compound interest works with money, but don't recognize its power in other spheres. Make small investments in the people you care about, every day. Take a ton of pictures, text your friends stupid things, check in with old friends, express admiration to coworkers, and tell your loved ones that you love them. The payoff is small, until it becomes immense.Serendipity = a function of courage.My willingness to endure rejection from universities, peers, investors, and women has been hugely rewarding. Asking a VC for money is nothing compared to approaching a woman midday in a beach chair, sitting with another woman and a guy, and opening. Nothing wonderful will happen without taking a risk and subjecting yourself to rejection.Cool vacation > Cool car.Studies show people overestimate the happiness that things will bring them, and underestimate the long-term positive effect of experiences. Invest in experiences over things. Drive a Hyundai, and take your spouse to Australia.The Algebra of Happiness is perfect for any graduate, or for anyone who feels adrift.
The Boy No One Loved
Casey Watson - 2011
‘We’re hungry, Justin. Please find us some food.’Justin was five years old; his brothers two and three. Their mother, a heroin addict, had left them alone again. Later that day, after trying to burn down the family home, Justin was taken into care.Justin was taken into care at the age of five after deliberately burning down his family home. Six years on, after 20 failed placements, Justin arrives at Casey’s home. Casey and her husband Mike are specialist foster carers. They practice a new style of foster care that focuses on modifying the behaviour of profoundly damaged children. They are Justin’s last hope, and it quickly becomes clear that they are facing a big challenge.Try as they might to make him welcome, he seems determined to strip his life of all the comforts they bring him, violently lashing out at schoolmates and family and throwing any affection they offer him back in their faces. After a childhood filled with hurt and rejection, Justin simply doesn’t want to know. But, as it soon emerges, this is only the tip of a chilling iceberg.A visit to Justin’s mother on Boxing Day reveals that there are some very dark underlying problems that Justin has never spoken about. As the full picture becomes clearer, and the horrific truth of Justin’s early life is revealed, Casey and her family finally start to understand the pain he has suffered…
Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map
Sam R. Hamburg - 2000
In this unconventional guide, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how to eliminate the guesswork and pick the right romantic partner. Basing his findings on hundreds of cases in his twenty-five years as a marital therapist and thirty years in his own marriage, Dr. Hamburg shows that in the best unions partners are deeply compatible in all areas -- from sex to daily decision making to beliefs about life. With an innovative approach, Dr. Hamburg guides couples in understanding how compatible they are in each dimension and he empowers them to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Written in a clear and direct style, Will Our Love Last? teaches couples at any stage of commitment how to avoid mistakes and find lasting love.
On the Way to Casa Lotus: A Memoir of Family, Art, Injury, and Forgiveness
Lorena Junco Margain - 2021
Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems: What to Do When the Basics Don't Work
Judith S. Beck - 2005
Beck addresses what to do when a patient is not making progress. Provided is practical, step-by-step guidance on conceptualizing and solving frequently encountered problems, whether in developing and maintaining the therapeutic alliance or in accomplishing specific therapeutic tasks. While the framework presented is applicable to a range of challenging clinical situations, particular attention is given to modifying the longstanding distorted beliefs and dysfunctional behavioral strategies of people with personality disorders. Helpful appendices include a reproducible assessment tool, the Personality Belief Questionnaire.See also Dr. Beck's Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Second Edition: Basics and Beyond, the leading text for students and practicing therapists who want to learn the fundamentals of CBT.
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
Megan Devine - 2017
Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.
The Memory Palace
Mira Bartok - 2011
It is a poignant observation about the relationship between Mira, her sister, and their mentally ill mother. Before she was struck with schizophrenia at the age of nineteen, beautiful piano protégé Norma Herr had been the most vibrant personality in the room. She loved her daughters and did her best to raise them well, but as her mental state deteriorated, Norma spoke less about Chopin and more about Nazis and her fear that her daughters would be kidnapped, murdered, or raped. When the girls left for college, the harassment escalated--Norma called them obsessively, appeared at their apartments or jobs, threatened to kill herself if they did not return home. After a traumatic encounter, Mira and her sister were left with no choice but to change their names and sever all contact with Norma in order to stay safe. But while Mira pursued her career as an artist--exploring the ancient romance of Florence, the eerie mysticism of northern Norway, and the raw desert of Israel--the haunting memories of her mother were never far away. Then one day, Mira’s life changed forever after a debilitating car accident. As she struggled to recover from a traumatic brain injury, she was confronted with a need to recontextualize her life--she had to relearn how to paint, read, and interact with the outside world. In her search for a way back to her lost self, Mira reached out to the homeless shelter where she believed her mother was living and discovered that Norma was dying. Mira and her sister traveled to Cleveland, where they shared an extraordinary reconciliation with their mother that none of them had thought possible. At the hospital, Mira discovered a set of keys that opened a storage unit Norma had been keeping for seventeen years. Filled with family photos, childhood toys, and ephemera from Norma’s life, the storage unit brought back a flood of previous memories that Mira had thought were lost to her forever. The Memory Palace is a breathtaking literary memoir about the complex meaning of love, truth, and the capacity for forgiveness among family. Through stunning prose and original art created by the author in tandem with the text, The Memory Palace explores the connections between mother and daughter that cannot be broken no matter how much exists--or is lost--between them.
A Way of Being
Carl R. Rogers - 1980
A Way of Being was written in the early 1980s, near the end of Carl Rogers's career, and serves as a coda to his classic On Becoming a Person. More philosophical than his earlier writings, it traces his professional and personal development and ends with a prophetic call for a more humane future.
THE LUNCHEONETTE
Steven Sorrentino - 2007
Venturing out of the closet and feeling free (at last!) from small-town America, Steven found his niche among the quirky and kindred spirits of the city's musical theater hopefuls." "But on Christmas Eve of 1980, just after Steven arrived in New Jersey to celebrate the holidays, his father contracted a sudden and rare neurological disorder that left him paralyzed. Stepping up to the plate and back into the closet, Steven returned to West Long Branch to help the family out and to take over Clint's Corner, his father's luncheonette. He soon found himself at the grill flipping porkroll (the unofficial state meat) and serving a counter full of eccentrics including Googie the Gizmo, Half Cup Harold, and Steven's old high-school jock crush, Brent Jamison. And always at his side was the most colorful of them all, Dolores, the crusty head waitress with coke-bottle glasses, a wayward wig, and a particular flair for butchering the English language. From this unusual post, Steven watched as his ailing father refused to accept defeat. Confined to a wheelchair, yet determined and optimistic, Clint Sorrentino ignored all the medical setbacks and even managed to further his own career in local politics. Yet for Steven, the more his father triumphed over the obstacles, the more his own life seemed to stall." Guilty, confused, and stuck behind the counter, Steven made a shocking and desperate decision - not knowing that he was about to stumble upon the secret of his father's resilience. Steven had returned home to save his father, but in the end, his father saved him.
Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
Leslie Becker-Phelps - 2014