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Duck Duck Wally
Gabe Rotter - 2007
Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.
Jinx at the Greenbrier
Deanna Edens - 2016
Her stories begin when she arrived in 1936 and met such notable historical personalities as Eleanor Roosevelt, Clare Boothe Luce, and Sam Snead. Her adventures continue through the era when the Greenbrier housed high-level German and Japanese diplomats at the beginning of World War II, then through the days when it served as a United States Army hospital. Jinx’s exploits encompass encounters with interior designer Dorothy Draper, the Duchess of Windsor, and Bing Crosby—just to name a few. Jinx at the Greenbrier offers a fascinating picture of the celebrities, high-society personalities, and government officials who frequented the grand Greenbrier Resort in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia during the thirties and forties. Prop up your feet, grab a cuppa tea, and delight in these misadventures, as told through the eyes of an eighty-six-year-old woman reminiscing about the days when she was little girl growing up at the fabulous Greenbrier Resort.
Die Laughing 2: Five More Comic Crime Novels
Ben Rehder - 2014
He's working a routine case, complete with hours of tedious surveillance, when he sees something that shakes him to the core. There, with the subject, is a little blond girl wearing a pink top and denim shorts—the same outfit worn by Tracy Turner, a six-year-old abducted the day before. When the police are skeptical of Ballard's report—and with his history, who can blame them?—it's the beginning of the most important case of his life.LAST CHANCE LASSITERPaul LevineIn this prequel to the “Jake Lassiter” series, the linebacker-turned-lawyer faces overwhelming odds. Fired from his job and dumped by his girlfriend, Lassiter rents a grungy law office in a Miami Beach parking garage. What else could go wrong? Well, he could be disbarred for punching out his own client. As for cases, the down-and-out lawyer has only one. Lassiter represents Cadillac Johnson, an aging rhythm and blues musician who claims his greatest song was stolen by a top-of-the-charts hip-hop artist. The evidence is long gone and chances of winning are slim. Except for one thing. “If your cause is just,” Lassiter says, “no case is impossible.”CLIENTParnell HallStanley Hastings couldn't be happier. He had his first paying client, and the assignment was straight out of a forties noir movie, tailing the man's cheating wife and snapping pictures of her at a motel. If only he hadn't fallen asleep on stakeout. When he wakes up the woman is dead, the murder weapon is in his car, and a small town police force straight out of In the Heat of the Night has him cast in the Sidney Poitier role. To clear his name—and get paid—Stanley will have to figure out who his client is, who killed the woman in the upstate motel, and who was the resultant corpse!RADIO ACTIVITYBill FitzhughFM rock deejay Rick Shannon has just been fired from his latest Classic Rock station. He’s thinking it’s time to get out of radio once and for all. But when a famous deejay disappears in Mississippi, Rick gets a job offer to take over the slot. So he packs his bags and moves back to his home state where he comes across a tape of an illegally recorded phone conversation that might explain the fate of the missing deejay. Rick starts looking into the matter, and before you can say “Stairway to Heaven” he’s uncovered a scheme of blackmail, arson, murder, and a major FCC violation. Based on an illegal recording made by the author (and former FM rock deejay), Radio Activity redefines classic rock.CALABAMA Steve BrewerWhen a speeding Corvette flies over his head, leaving him without a scratch, Eric Newlin decides it's an omen and his life is about to change. He's right. Within days, he's broke, homeless, unemployed and getting divorced. He falls so far that he ends up involved in a kidnapping scheme with hillbilly crimelord Rydell Vance. Leavened with dark humor, CALABAMA takes a wry look at California's rural, redneck interior, a bitter, precarious place where it's easy for an outsider's life to spiral out of control.
The Spy Who Came in from the Bin: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel
Christopher Shevlin - 2020
He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.
Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults)
Adam Smith - 2016
« Funny Jokes » is one of the best compilations of jokes in English that will surely hold your attention. In this book you can find all sorts of jokes that will amuse you and will create a good mood for you. Have fun reading these hilarious jokes!
Diary of an Adorable Fat Girl: The Complete, Full-length Novel: For anyone who's ever been on a diet (yes - all of us!)
Bernice Bloom - 2017
She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first full-length novel after her series of laugh-out-loud mini books.
Works by David Sedaris: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Books LLC - 2010
Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168
Diary of Indignities
Patrick Hughes - 2007
With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.
Pac Heights
Tony Perez-Giese - 2013
The dot.com boom is in full swing, and it seems as though every twenty-something has become an instant millionaire-except our narrator, who has just arrived from the Midwest without a job. Confronted with the chilling prospect of missing out on the greatest cash grab of the twentieth century, he enlists with a temp agency. That's when things start getting strange.Mistaken by the agency for an urbane homosexual instead of the ex-frat boy he really is, he is assigned to a fully-staffed mansion in the Pacific Heights neighborhood. His new boss? Definitely not the old matron he was expecting.Bailey Phelan is the gorgeous, thirty-year-old wife of an aging billionaire, and her penchant for Prada, recreational drugs, and foreign boyfriends quickly has the narrator running in circles trying to keep her exorbitant spending and romantic misadventures under wraps. But despite all the glitz, what she might need most is a friend.As the narrator gets sucked deeper into the mansion milieu-oversexed nannies, a lovelorn gay chef, the obsessive head housekeeper, the bilious billionaire himself-he's faced with the unavoidable question: will the six-figure salary and over-the-top lifestyle of the rich and infamous corrupt him -- or will he cut and run with his soul intact?
Chief Complaint: Can't Find the Toilet Paper (A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories)
Kerry Hamm - 2020
In this volume readers from around the globe touch down on the Covid-19 pandemic, weird patient complaints, and more. Don't worry if you're new to either series. You don't need to read previous volumes to follow the smorgasbord of stories submitted by individual first responders, healthcare employees, or patients.
Secrets of Retail
J.W. Martin - 2010
This wasn't always the case, but years in the soul-shattering world of retail have made Wade a bitter, cynical young man. Impeded by a lack of direction and nearly infinite levels apathy, Wade idles through his days avoiding waves of annoying customers, his obtrusive boss and any kind of work in general. When a management opportunity makes itself available Wade finds himself facing an unprecedented weekend of opportunity and distraction, a gauntlet of women he can't begin to understand, and a potential mental breakdown that could destroy his personal and professional life at once.
NOT A BOOK
NOT A BOOK - 2016
It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.
Clocks
Jerome K. Jerome - 1891
You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.