Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self


David M. Brodzinsky - 1992
    A major  work, filled with astute analysis and moving  truths.

No Biking in the House Without a Helmet


Melissa Fay Greene - 2011
    When the clock started to run down on the home team, we brought in ringers."When the two-time National Book Award finalist Melissa Fay Greene confided to friends that she and her husband planned to adopt a four-year-old boy from Bulgaria to add to their four children at home, the news threatened to place her, she writes, "among the greats: the Kennedys, the McCaughey septuplets, the von Trapp family singers, and perhaps even Mrs. Feodor Vassilyev, who, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, gave birth to sixty-nine children in eighteenth-century Russia." Greene is best known for her books on the civil rights movement and the African HIV/AIDS pandemic. She's been praised for her "historian's urge for accuracy," her "sociologist's sense of social nuance," and her "writerly passion for the beauty of language." But Melissa and her husband have also pursued a more private vocation: parenthood. "We so loved raising our four children by birth, we didn't want to stop. When the clock started to run down on the home team, we brought in ringers." When the number of children hit nine, Greene took a break from reporting. She trained her journalist's eye upon events at home. Fisseha was riding a bike down the basement stairs; out on the porch, a squirrel was sitting on Jesse's head; vulgar posters had erupted on bedroom walls; the insult niftam (the Amharic word for "snot") had led to fistfights; and four non-native-English-speaking teenage boys were researching, on Mom's computer, the subject of "saxing." "At first I thought one of our trombone players was considering a change of instrument," writes Greene. "Then I remembered: they can't spell."Using the tools of her trade, she uncovered the true subject of the "saxing" investigation, inspiring the chapter "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, but Couldn't Spell." A celebration of parenthood; an ingathering of children, through birth and out of loss and bereavement; a relishing of moments hilarious and enlightening - No Biking in the House Without a Helmet is a loving portrait of a unique twenty first-century family as it wobbles between disaster and joy.

Dancing with a Porcupine: Parenting wounded children without losing your self


Jennie Lynn Owens - 2019
    So what do you do when you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or has extra challenges? You often feel alone and inadequate. You want so much to help your child, but you are at the end of your own rope. You feel guilty that sometimes you want to just quit.What can you do -- how can you make it through the day -- how can you help your child while also taking care of yourself?Maybe someone you love is parenting a traumatized child. Or perhaps you are a social worker, counselor, or other professional who sees families like these every day. You want to know how to better help them.In Dancing with a Porcupine, Jennie Owens shares with humor and raw honesty the compelling story of her struggle to save her own life while caring for three children she and her husband adopted from foster care. How could she stay loving, giving, and forgiving in the midst of a daily battle with children acting out the rage, resentment, and pain of their own traumatic pasts?When faith, endurance, and creativity are not enough, what's next?

Reunited: An Investigative Genealogist Unlocks Some of Life's Greatest Family Mysteries


Pamela Slaton - 2012
    From the identical twins separated at birth, unknowingly part of a secret study on development, to the man who finally met his birth mother just in the nick of time, Reunited is a collection of these unforgettable moments, told by the woman who orchestrated and witnessed them first-hand. Both heartbreaking and inspiring, they will move anyone who knows the true life-affirming power of family.

Until We All Come Home: A Harrowing Journey, a Mother's Courage, a Race to Freedom


Kim De Blecourt - 2012
    Nothing, however, could have prepared de Blecourt for the twisted nightmare she would endure. During her year-long struggle to extricate her newly adopted little boy from that post-Soviet country's corrupt social service and judicial systems, de Blecourt was insulted, physically assaulted, and arrested. Worse, her months of loneliness, worry, and fear drove her to the brink of spiritual despair. But God had no intention of abandoning de Blecourt or her family. Her amazing story-culminating in a spine-chilling race to freedom-offers dramatic proof that God's light shines on even in the deepest darkness.

Confessions of an Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption


Mike Berry - 2018
    From parenting children with traumatic pasts, to dealing with attachment issues, to raising a child with special needs, it can sometimes be a struggle just getting through the day. Mike Berry knows the loneliness and isolation you can easily feel in your particular parenting role—because he's been there. He's still there, and he wants to give you the hope and encouragement you so desperately need. There are plenty of how-to guides out there on parenting, but this one-of-a-kind book is specifically designed to address your needs as a parent of an adopted or foster child. With a refreshing dose of honesty, empathy, and care, you'll discover you are definitely not alone on your journey and God has a very special plan for you and your family.

Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless


Jim Fay - 2000
    Charles Fay for specific words they can use when kids leave them speechless. The book is finally here! Twenty-three chapters include parent-child dialogues and plenty of information about how to handle the most frustrating things kids say.

The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole


Lori Holden - 2013
    In 2011, 90% or more of adoption agencies are recommending open adoption. Yet these agencies do not often or adequately prepare either adopting parents or birth parents for the road ahead of them! The adult parties in open adoptions are left floundering. There are many resources on why to do open adoption, but what about how? Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may intrude at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of situations. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the children involved is paramount. This book offers readers the tools and the insight to do just that. It covers common open-adoption situations and how real families have navigated common issues successfully. Like all useful parenting books, it provides parents with the tools to come to answers on their own, and answers questions that might not yet have come up. Through their own stories and those of other families of open adoption, they review the secrets to success, the pitfalls and challenges, the joys and triumphs. By putting the adopted children first, families can come to enjoy the benefits of open adoption and mitigate the challenges that may arise. More than a how-to, this book shares a mindset, a heartset, that can be learned and internalized, so parents can learn to act out of love and honesty.

Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children


Daniel A. Hughes - 2006
    This work is a composite case study of the developmental course of one child following years of abuse and neglect. Building the Bonds of Attachment focuses on both the specialized psychotherapy and parenting that is often necessary in facilitating a child's psychological development and attachment security. It develops a model for intervention by blending attachment theory and research, trauma theory, and the general principles of parenting, and child and family therapy. This book is a practical guide for the adult--whether professional or parent--who endeavors to help such children. The second edition of this widely popular book will present the many changes in the intervention model over the past 8 years. These include many changes in both the psychotherapist's and parent's interventions. The attachment history of the adults is made more relevant. There is greater congruence between attachment theory and research and the interventions being demonstrated as well as greater reference to this theory and research.

From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Adopted Children


B. Bryan Post - 2010
    A mark to shoot for, if you will. A system of understanding that has the power to make real change in the lives of those who take it seriously.

Don't Waste Your Time Homeschooling: 72 Things I Wish I'd Known


Traci Matt - 2014
    "Don’t Waste Your Time Homeschooling: 72 Things I Wish I’d Known" features concrete suggestions to help you: • Discover ways to take your family’s pulse and maintain a peaceful household. • Realize how easy it can be to sidestep the isolation trap. • Find creative ways to maintain your own identity amid a sea of others’ needs. • Learn the one easy habit to help avoid conflict with busy teen drivers. • Explain to others how your children are being properly socialized.

Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families


Jayne E. Schooler - 2005
    Families often enter into this experience with high expectations for their child and for themselves but are broadsided by shattered assumptions. This book addresses the reality of those unmet expectations and offers validation and solutions for the challenges of parenting deeply traumatized and emotionally disturbed children.

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness


Betty Jean Lifton - 1994
    She breaks new ground as she traces the adopted child's lifelong struggle to form an authentic sense of self. And she shows how both the symbolic and the literal search for roots becomes a crucial part of the journey toward wholeness.

Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib


Jaiya John - 2002
    It is only three months following the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., and the nation is burning. Black and White America are locked in the tense grip of massive change. Into this inferno steps an unsuspecting young White couple. Neither had truly known even a single African American person while growing up. Now, a child will change all of that forever. In this fateful moment, a Black baby becomes perhaps the first in the history of New Mexico to be adopted by a White family. Here is a brazenly honest glimpse into the mind and heart of that child, a true story for the ages that flows like a soulful river-separated from his mother at birth, placed into foster care, adopted, and finally reunited with his biological family in adulthood-an astounding journey of personal discovery. Jaiya John has opened the floodgates on his own childhood with this piercing memoir. Black Baby White Hands, a waterfall of jazz splashing over the rocks of love, pain and the honoring of family. Magically, this book finds a way to sing as it cries, and to exude compassion even as it dispels well-entrenched myths. Destined to become a classic, this stirring account is sure to find itself well worn, stained by tears, and brushed by laughter in the lap of parents, adolescents, educators, students, and professionals. Here comes the rain and the sunshine, all at once.

Inside Transracial Adoption


Gail Steinberg - 2000
    Acknowledging white identity issues for transracial adopters and demonstrating predictable milestones in the journey toward adulthood for transracially-adopted infants, preschoolers, school-age children, teens and young adults, Inside Transracial Adoption offers provocative information, valuable resources and practical tools to support families in fostering the development of racial identity of children of color and in the strengthening of family connections. An early reader commented "Singularly this book has given me more hope about parenting (my daughter) than all the social workers, therapists and teachers have put together. I wept tears of relief as I read this book. Not only did you name it, but you truly understand what living with a transracially adopted child is like. And! you give suggestions and solutions!!! Thank you!"