All the works here are avaiable for free at The White Review (At the Clinic), The Dublin Review (Concord 34 and Even if you beat me), New Statesman (Robbie Brady's astonishing late goal takes its place in our personal histories), The Irish Times (Mr. Salary) and The New Yorker (Color and Light).We just wanted to put those stories together to read them better and more confortable. Sally Rooney has all the rights of this work reserved. Even the cover of this e-book is an adaptation of the cover of Two Stories's audiobook, by Sally Rooney and published by Faber & Faber.Thank you for everything, Sally Rooney! Your stories make the world happier <3

    A little distant, perhaps, a little cautious, not at quite at ease with the emotional demands of fatherhood, or manly bonhomie. He does not understand the modern obsession with talking about everything. “The secret of contentment, George felt, lay in ignoring many things completely.” Some things in life, however, cannot be ignored.At 61, George is settling down to a comfortable retirement, building a shed in his garden, reading historical novels and listening to a bit of light jazz. Then his tempestuous daughter, Katie, announces that she is getting re-married, to the deeply inappropriate Ray. Her family is not pleased – as her brother Jamie observes, Ray has “strangler’s hands.” Katie can’t decide if she loves Ray, or loves the wonderful way he has with her son Jacob, and her mother Jean is a bit put out by all the planning and arguing the wedding has occasioned, which get in the way of her quite fulfilling late-life affair with one of her husband’s ex-colleagues. And the tidy and pleasant life Jamie has created crumbles when he fails to invite his lover, Tony, to the dreaded nuptials. Unnoticed in the uproar, George discovers a sinister lesion on his hip, and quietly begins to lose his mind. The way these damaged people fall apart – and come together – as a family is the true subject of Haddon’s disturbing yet amusing portrait of a dignified man trying to go insane politely.A SPOT OF BOTHER is Mark Haddon’s unforgettable follow-up to the internationally beloved bestseller THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME. Here the madness – literally – of family life proves rich comic fodder for Haddon’s crackling prose and bittersweet insights into misdirected love.

     A sudden death....a man gone mad....and...love? When his wife suddenly drops dead during a family picnic, Adam Collins doesn't think things could possibly get any worse. That is until they do. Family pressure begins to mount for Adam to find a new wife, far sooner than he would like, but he does need help with his young children. Alice Wesley just lost her sister. Her brother Nathan has lost his mind with grief. She will stop at nothing to protect her sister's children, even from her own brother. Now the unthinkable has happened, and it’s up to Alice to find a way of escape, not only for herself but for the innocent children thrust into her care. She has two options: Hope for a rescue that seems impossible, or outthink the madmen who have taken her hostage. When Nathan kidnaps his niece, nephew, and Alice, will Adam find them before it's too late? Or is he destined to lose the rest of the people he holds dear?

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    After all, his mother Anna has been dead for nearly three weeks. What follows is an orchestrated Twitter campaign to lead those Anna loved, and didn’t love so much, to the truth behind her “accidental” death.

     Former Navy Seal. Former Peace Corps worker. Current blacks ops assasin. To those with the highest security clearance, it’s a line item known only as Project X. But to the half dozen agents and personnel working for it, it’s known as Firestorm, a black ops group so dark that the U.S. President doesn’t even know about them yet. And no agent is as skilled as Brady Hawk. FIRST STRIKE, Book 1 :: Amid the smoldering ashes of another terrorist attack on U.S. interests in Iraq, Hawk searches for Nasim Ghazi, the chief bomb maker for the terrorist group Al Hasib. However, Hawk’s mission is almost cut short when he’s nearly killed by an assassin. Haunted by his harrowing escape, Hawk must quietly navigate through Iraq and Afghanistan to hunt down Ghazi before he strikes again. As he and his Washington-based handler Alex Duncan try to solve the mystery of his assassin, Hawk struggles with the revelation that his father, the world’s most renowned weapons manufacturer, may not be who he thinks he is. In a world where nothing is as it seems, Hawk must stay focused in order to put down another threat before it's too late ... both himself as his country. DEEP COVER, Book 2 :: Deep in the jungles of Sierra Leone, Sefadu Holdings is making a mint by funneling diamonds to Al Hasib in order to fund its terrorist operation. However, when the secret black ops group Firestorm learns about it, Hawk is dispatched to squash the illegal dealings. While Hawk is battling nefarious forces abroad, his handler Alex Duncan is dealing with her own issues, including making sure that Firestorm director J.D. Blunt is safe from an attack on his life. As Hawk goes deep under cover, he must figure out a way to stop Al Hasib from getting the diamonds while Duncan fights for her life and the black ops program she believes in. But when everything starts to unravel, Hawk must find a way to keep it together on both continents or risk losing everything. POINT OF IMPACT, Book 3 :: When Brady Hawk learns about a sinister plot that Al Hasib has constructed to infiltrate the U.S., it’s only a matter of time before the sleeper cell they’ve planted springs to live and brings death and destruction to U.S. soil. But Hawk, who’s still reeling from the loss of a person important to him, must forge ahead and put the past behind him. However, Hawk’s plans to neutralize the threat goes awry amidst a turf struggle between the FBI and the CIA—and he must figure out a way to bring peace while apprehending the threat before millions of innocent lives are lost. Can he emerge victorious in keeping Americans save from the threat of ruthless terrorists who care nothing about the sanctity of life? Grab this box set of the first three books in the Brady Hawk series. You won’t be disappointed. Fans of Vince Flynn, David Baldacci, and Brad Taylor are loving this new action thriller series!

    OTHERS ARE LESS COMPLIMENTARY. Buckle up for a comedic roller coaster ride, with bad wigs, waxing disasters, holiday scams, a deluded hitman, lust, arson and murder. Albert Trollop takes refuge at his allotment and the betting office, while his wife, Gretyl, lives for the shopping channels, car boot sales and local gossip. After fifty years of marriage, she’s thinking of a new life, somewhere hot. He’s thinking of the crematorium. She’s thinking of stuffing herself in a bikini. He's thinking of a taxidermist. The Londoners continue their separate lives until a mysterious letter turns their world upside down. In Essex, Dave and Sharon Soddall are struggling on benefits and looking for a get-rich-quick solution. With the help of a devious financial advisor, they concoct a plan and ‘Costa Soddall Travel’ is born. Will the Soddalls pull off the con of a lifetime? Can Gretyl be silenced? Will Albert end up missing Gretyl? "'Missing Gretyl' is a rare treat - a brilliantly written comedy novel that's genuinely funny." Mark Stibbe, best selling, award-winning writer. Missing Gretyl is also available as a Kindle eBook through Amazon.

    Until one December dawn, when the ducks and the little duck girl, not so little any more, return to the village after several years of absence and light up Maash's life again.The year is 2019, the Indian Parliament has passed the Citizenship Amendment Act and the question of identity-- especially religious identity--is at the forefront of everything. Suddenly, everyone wants to know: who is this duck girl, where does she come from, who does she pray to? In a matter of days, Maash finds himself in the middle of a conflict he couldn't have foreseen.Set in Kaikurussi - the near idyllic village which Anita Nair introduced to readers worldwide in her first novel The Better Man, The Little Duck Girl is a state-of-the-nation story that sensitively but unflinchingly explores the idea of who we are as a people.

    Trigga found out in book 1 that the enemy who got away was right under his nose. The one man that he had been hunting to seek vengeance for his father’s death and mother’s brutal rape and murder was the man he called his boss, Street King, Damien Orlando. He only has one thing in mind, payback. With his boy Big Jake along with Gina, and Ray-Ray forming their own family, Dame and every goon in his circle are targets. Chaos is coming and Dame’s most trusted are about to bring him pain and death. E.N.G.A. Every Nigga Gotta Agenda

    The profession requires cops to see people at their worst. They see death, tragedy, crime, and despair on a daily basis. The very nature of the tasks cops perform and the things cops see skews their sense of humor. Sometimes, a sense of humor is the only defense mechanism in a police officer's tool box. Stripped of the ability to laugh, or forced to be politically correct in a politically incorrect work environment can be hazardous to one's health. Coping becomes an essential component of a police officer's arsenal. One of the primary coping mechanisms utilized by cops is humor. A cop can find something funny about almost anything, regardless of how tragic the circumstances. Dark humor involves making light of a serious, disturbing or taboo subject matter. It is sometimes viewed as morbid, cruel, offensive, and graphic in nature and is yet, still found funny. This is the story of the author's twenty-year police career with the New York City Transit Police and NYPD as he worked with some of New York City's darkest knights - those cops who did and said the funniest things under the most difficult circumstances.

     At the end of EDGE OF COLLAPSE, Luke managed to get within sixty miles of his family's Bug Out Location. As he struggles to make it home, he faces new threats. He teams up with a mysterious stranger to battle the lawless world. Without power, food, or water, they face a grueling uphill battle against the forces of darkness. He'll have to get creative if he wants to survive, but nothing will keep Luke from getting back to his family. Nothing. Not even the people who stand in his way. Liz struggles to defend the cabin from the preacher and his men. With too much land to cover and not enough resources, she reluctantly teams up with other people in the canyon. Their thread-bare agreement might not hold up under pressure, but it's better than nothing. Post-apocalyptic America is a desolate, dangerous world on the edge of disaster. Unable to trust strangers, family is more important than ever. Liz will do whatever it takes to protect her kids. One day Luke will return home, but until then, she's ready to take up arms against anyone who threatens them. EDGE OF DISASTER is BOOK 2 in the thrilling post-apocalyptic survival prepper EMP fiction series: AMERICAN FALLOUT.

    It tells you about every aspect of writing, from having an idea to getting the idea out into the world (and getting paid for it too). It covers everything from journalism to screen-writing, from speeches to sketches, from sitcoms to novels. With thirty years' experience as an award-winning script-writer, journalist, author and broadcaster David Quantick is ideally suited, as a writer, to write this definitive writer's guide to writing... everything.

    With its sly and uproarious humor and a heart that embraces humanity's follies as well as its triumphs, Nobody's Fool is storytelling at its most generous.

    Funny and touching, these monologues from original live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion focus on the winter season.Includes: "Guys on Ice," "The Christmas Story Re-told," and "Storm Home."

    Spending three decades in love with a wonderful but unattainable man is pretty high up on her list of missteps, as is a long line of unsuccessful love affairs accompanied by a seemingly endless supply of delicious cocktails.When the young bride flees—taking with her a family heirloom and leaving behind six hundred bewildered guests—her mother offers Margo fifty grand to retrieve her spoiled brat of a daughter and the invaluable property she stole. So, together with the bride’s jilted and justifiably crabby fiancé, Margo sets out in a borrowed 1955 red MG on a cross-country chase. Along the way, none of what she discovers will be quite what she expected. But it might be exactly what she’s been seeking all along.From acclaimed humor writer Jane Lotter comes this madcap, laugh-out-loud adventure, The Bette Davis Club. Revised edition: This edition of The Bette Davis Club includes editorial revisions.