Join Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, and Karl Pilkington as they take tea, maintain a stiff upper lip and generally comport themselves as fine examples of the Bulldog Breed.In this episode: Karl harks back to halcyon days; Ritzy crackers; the archetypal Englishman; weddings; Karl on cafe culture; help the aged; Ricky's royal etiquette; dung beetles and dead badgers; fair play and the crossbow; dragon slaying and tongue-grabbing; Steve's spectacles; and Ricky reads a Brooke.

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.

    He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life.Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old).Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.

    

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    The best stories are often about the lowest points in our lives - the soul-crushing jobs, the bad boyfriends, the terrible holidays, the betrayals and heartbreaks. These are the stories I tell people to make them like me, but, more importantly, they've helped me learn how to like myself.So this book is a collection of thankyous and acknowledgments:∗ Thank you to an ex-lover who marvelled at the fact he could get hard with me, even though I wasn't up to his usual standard.∗ Thank you to the coked-up real estate agent who, while lecturing me and my friend about the importance of travelling, fell down a flight of stairs.∗ Thank you to the woman who approached me after a gig and told me she hoped her daughter wouldn't end up like me.You've all taught me that you can't control who comes into your life or what happens to you, but you can decide just what it is you take from them.

    World War II is a full-blown nightmare for the survivors of the initial attack. American forces have been pushed to the brink and have been forced toward the center of the country in a frenzied bid to regroup and strike out, fending off the aggressors before it is too late and she falls completely under enemy control. Darlene Bobich and her group struggle to elude capture from the Sawyer clan, hell-bent on enslaving everyone in sight. Meanwhile, Mike, BT and what remains of the National Guard forces are caught up in a multi-national conflict that could spell the end of the American way.Can our heroes escape and can anything be done to turn the tide of a war that looks all but lost?

    When she first came to this traditional parish, with its beautiful church and conservative congregation, many people found it hard to accept a woman priest. After a tricky start, however, she is now accepted by most of her parishioners, even though some people cannot and will not recognize her.But vicars have their personal lives as well, although many people often forget this, and to the delight and surprise of the parish Venus is to marry Nigel, the doctor from the local practice. Her eleven-year-old daughter Becky, after some misgivings, has accepted the idea and there is a joyous ceremony at the church, after which the happy pair set off for honeymoon in France. On their return, they try to settle down to their new life, but Venus soon finds that marriage, motherhood and her priestly duties do not always go together...

    What twisted, funny tales would it unleash upon the world?Each episode of Crackanory contains two 15-minute tales and is a master class in storytelling, combining some of the UK's best comedy writers and performers.Full author list: Nico Tatarowicz, Toby Davies, Kevin Eldon, Ali Crockatt, David Scott, Laurence Rickard, Jeremy Dyson, Simon Judd, Alex Carter and Holly WalshFull narrator list: Jack Dee, Sally Phillips, Rebecca Front, Kevin Eldon, Harry Enfield, Sarah Solemani, Sharon Horgan, Charlie Higson, Richard Hammond and Jessica Hynes.

    Very funny and heartbreaking.' Davina McCallFrom one of Britain’s most popular and prolific comedians comes a hilarious and deeply moving memoir of life lived under the rule of a Silverback dad.The Silverback is considered the undisputed king, a creature whose authority is never challenged and who does not yield to compromise. He walks proudly, feeds greedily, grafts tirelessly, mates voraciously, swears constantly and is threatened all too easily. The Silverback is known to nestle in the misty peaks of central Africa but can also be found in Barking, Essex. Meet Dave Kane, the disappointed, steroid-ingesting, metal-wielding, bouncer father of slight, effete Gamma Male, Russell Kane.SON OF A SILVERBACK is a story about fathers and sons, class and education and how one scrawny, sensitive, fake-tan-applying 'ponce' stepped out of his father's shadow and became a man - whatever that means.

    Beckoning Fates (book 3):Was I taking this life for granted? Having this amount of power at my age had made me lose some of the sense of rationality I’d had in my former life. No longer a king, no longer tied down by rules and politics, I’d become careless. In this world, my potential was boundless.Though Arthur Leywin would like nothing more than to pursue his studies at the esteemed Xyrus Academy, where he hopes to push his already potent magical abilities to new plateaus and perhaps discover something more about his reincarnation into this world, he finds the politics of the school’s halls even more challenging to navigate than those of the council chambers he once inhabited as King Grey. Arthur faces inept professors, jealous classmates, and an overeager director while fending off the affection of an old friend and the aggression of an old enemy. Then a routine class trip into a low-level dungeon turns out to be anything but, and Arthur discovers something that will change his life forever.Horizon's Edge (book 4):In my past life I hadn’t had anyone I would have given my life to protect. I had that now, but I didn’t have the strength to protect them - not against what was about to come.In another life, Arthur Leywin was a king and no stranger to war. He was not ready, however, to find himself at the heart of a conflict that will reshape his entire new world. Despite his abilities, it seems as if the danger only increases with every discovery he makes. His oldest friend succumbs to a power that may destroy her, a power Arthur gave her. His most constant foe accepts a dark gift to challenge Arthur’s strength, an act that threatens all of Xyrus Academy. How can he keep his family safe if his very presence is the thing that draws danger to them? Can he dispel the specters of war before it is too late?©2016 TurtleMe (P)2020 Podium Publishing