Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    While other books may claim to tell you how to take down the Thought Police, only one book is taking the fight right to the top. Yes, from the mind that brought you the popular blog feature Sad Puppies Review Books comes this definitive takedown of the internet's culture of Social Justice as embodied by the man who controls it all: JOHN SCALZI. Read this book to learn everything you need to know about Social Justice Warriors, their tactics, their treachery, their perfidious entryism. Topics include: * John Scalzi's blog is not that interesting and no one reads it. * John Scalzi does not understand satire as much as I, Theophilus Pratt, understand satire. * John Scalzi did not get me, Theophilus Pratt, kicked out of the SFWA. * John Scalzi's deal with Tor was not a very good deal. And more!

    From Caligula's blood-soaked end to hotelier Steve Wynn's unfortunate run-in with a priceless Picasso, these 365 tales of misery include lost fortunes (like the would-be Apple investor who pulled out in 1977 and missed out on a $30 billion-dollar windfall), romance gone wrong (like the 16th-century Shah who experimented with an early form of Viagra with empire-changing results), and truly bizarre moments (like the Great Molasses Flood of 1919).Think you’re having a bad day? Trust us, it gets worse.

    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

    I write poetry... I believe poetry is a primal impulse within all of us. I believe we are all capable of it and furthermore that a small, often ignored corner of us positively yearns to try it. —Stephen Fry, The Ode Less Travelled Stephen Fry believes that if one can speak and read English, one can write poetry. Many of us have never been taught to read or write poetry and think of it as a mysterious and intimidating form. Or, if we have been taught, we remember uncomfortable silence when an English teacher invited the class to "respond" to a poem. In The Ode Less Travelled, Fry sets out to correct this problem by giving aspiring poets the tools and confidence they need to write poetry for pleasure. Fry is a wonderfully engaging teacher and writer of poetry himself, and he explains the various elements of poetry in simple terms, without condescension. His enjoyable exercises and witty insights introduce the concepts of Metre, Rhyme, Form, Diction, and Poetics. Aspiring poets will learn to write a sonnet, on ode, a villanelle, a ballad, and a haiku, among others. Along the way, he introduces us to poets we've heard of, but never read. The Ode Less Travelled is a lively celebration of poetry that makes even the most reluctant reader want to pick up a pencil and give it a try. BACKCOVER: Advanced Praise: “Delightfully erudite, charming and soundly pedagogical guide to poetic form… Fry has created an invaluable and highly enjoyable reference book.” —Publishers Weekly “A smart, sane and entertaining return to the basics… If you like Fry’s comic manner… this book has a lot of charm… People entirely fresh to the subject could do worse than stick with his cheerful leadership.” —The Telegraph (UK) “…intelligent and informative, a worthy enterprise well executed.” —Observer (UK) "If you learn how to write a sonnet, and Fry shows you how, you may or may not make a poem. But you will unlock the stored wisdom of the form itself." —Grey Gowrie, The Spectator (UK) “…intelligent and informative, a worthy enterprise well executed.” —Observer (UK)

    With its innovative visual take on trivia, pop culture, and strange-but-true tales, this volume is an exciting, original and hilarious look at humans and the world theyve created.DK

    I loved everything about it.” —Jim Gaffigan We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see. From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more. Like a like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

    Having blasted onto the small screens with his now legendary sitcom Spaced, his rise to nation's favourite son status has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronnic, but mostly just plain great.From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with Star Wars, his often passionate friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up which began with his regular Monday morning slot in front of his 12-year-old classmates, this is a joyous tale of a homegrown superstar and a local boy made good.

    Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.

    After all, lovers come and go, but our girlfriends sustain, nurture, and protect us from cradle to grave. Friends on a Rotten Day explores the supportive, uproarious, and sometimes complex, relationships between girlfriends through an indepth astrological analysis of each Sun sign. DixonCooper shows readers what makes their friend tick on a soul level, revealing each friend's inner character, friendship style, love style (including what to do or not do if a pal picks a loser), and party style. She offers suggestions on the best gifts to buy your friend, how to calm her down, cheer her up, and return the unconditional support and love that she gives you. Readers will discover why their Gemini buddy changes her mind so often, why the Virgo gal pal sweats the small stuff, why a Scorpio girlfriend sometimes seems distant, and why the Leo chum needs frequent headpats. They'll also learn why a Pisces pal should never be forced to make a snap decision, why a Capricorn girlfriend might seem too serious for her own good, the truth about a Taurus friend's hidden anxieties, the competitive side of an Aries chum, what causes Cancer pal's emotional train wrecks, why the Aquarius buddy has a rebellious side, and why the Sagittarius girlfriend has occasional angry outbursts. "Dixon-Cooper reveals what every astrologer knows but none has dared say. (She) takes us on a seriously humorous ride through the land of truth and consequences. I highly recommend it." (Suzanne White)

    Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!

    30,000 first printing."

    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!