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Weird Al Yankovic: The Kindle Singles Interview (Kindle Single)
Mara Altman - 2014
Among other topics, Al opened up about his nerdy childhood, his late-night writing binges, his gut-wrenching reach for movie stardom, and his hopes for his latest album, Mandatory Fun. He also discussed his future plans to have a drug problem. The interview was conducted by Mara Altman, the author of five bestselling Kindle Singles including “Baby Steps,” “Bearded Lady,” and the Kindle Singles Interview with Tom Robbins. Altman has worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice, and has also written for New York Magazine, The New York Times and Salon. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, “Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm,” which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. Cover design by Adil Dara
I Hate Everyone
Matthew DiBenedetti - 2011
This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
Friday Night Alibi
Cassie Mae - 2013
In the wealthy town of Sundale, Kelli Pinkins has hatched the perfect plan to capitalize on her sweet reputation. For a generous fee, she will be every trust-fund baby’s dream: a Friday-night alibi, the “girlfriend” or “BFF” that parents dream about. With college approaching in the fall, Kelli’s services are in demand more than ever, which means that her social life is nonexistent. But Kelli is A-okay with that. She’s raking in cash for school. Besides, relationships are tricky, and sometimes very messy. She’d rather be at home on Xbox LIVE, anyway. Then the unexpected happens: She meets college stud Chase Maroney. Chase isn’t like the preppy, privileged guys Kelli usually meets in Sundale. For starters, he’s twentysomething, always wears black., and he shoots back one-liners as fast as she can dish them out. But Kelli’s attempts to drive Chase away falter when she realizes that he treats her like he really knows her, like he cares about knowing her. When Kelli finally gives in to the delicious kiss she’s been fighting for so long, she faces a tough decision: make Chase a real-life boyfriend and risk her heart . . . or keep her clients and lose her first true love.Advance praise for Friday Night Alibi
“Totally entertaining with as many swoon-worthy moments as hilarious ones, Friday Night Alibi is a must-read.”—Jolene Perry, co-author of Out of Play “A fun, funny, and fantastic story, this is one you will read in a day, and pick up to re-read again the next.”—Kelley Lynn, author of Fraction of Stone
How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
Ryan North - 2018
. . and then broke? How would you survive? Could you improve on humanity's original timeline? And how hard would it be to domesticate a giant wombat? With this book as your guide, you'll survive--and thrive--in any period in Earth's history. Bestselling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North shows you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted--from first principles. This illustrated manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up. Deeply researched, irreverent, and significantly more fun than being eaten by a saber-toothed tiger, How to Invent Everything will make you smarter, more competent, and completely prepared to become the most important and influential person ever.
Comedy And Error
Simon Day - 2011
Comedy and Error Simon Day, star of the Fast Show and Bellamy's People tells the shocking, sometimes sad and hilariously funny story of his life so far Full description
The Simpsons and Their Mathematical Secrets
Simon Singh - 2013
That they exist, Simon Singh reveals, underscores the brilliance of the shows' writers, many of whom have advanced degrees in mathematics in addition to their unparalleled sense of humor. While recounting memorable episodes such as “Bart the Genius” and “Homer3,” Singh weaves in mathematical stories that explore everything from p to Mersenne primes, Euler's equation to the unsolved riddle of P v. NP; from perfect numbers to narcissistic numbers, infinity to even bigger infinities, and much more. Along the way, Singh meets members of The Simpsons' brilliant writing team-among them David X. Cohen, Al Jean, Jeff Westbrook, and Mike Reiss-whose love of arcane mathematics becomes clear as they reveal the stories behind the episodes. With wit and clarity, displaying a true fan's zeal, and replete with images from the shows, photographs of the writers, and diagrams and proofs, The Simpsons and Their Mathematical Secrets offers an entirely new insight into the most successful show in television history.
The Mammoth Book of Losers
Karl Shaw - 2014
It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.
Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?
Jeremy Clarkson - 2020
. .Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration and downright bafflement. And, while Jeremy may not a patient man, you have to ask why anyone should have to consider issues as diverse and perplexing as:-The downsides of relaxing in a bath of crude oil-Why fishing is for people who hate their kids-Whether there are noise-cancelling headphones with the power to silence James May-Why saving the planet means soggy paper straws and no more children-What to do about the rambler who stole his marrowBut as puzzling and exasperating as life on the road often seemed to be, you could always count on Jeremy to set the world to rights with a rare wit and unique understanding. And at full throttle. Just don't expect it to all go smoothly . . .Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
You Suck, Sir
Paul Bae - 2014
Based on his popular blog of the same name, this is a "Best Of..." collection. Ranging from outrageously funny to touchingly poignant, these collected vignettes into the lives of high school students are an inspiring peek into the connection one teacher has with his students.
Mindsploitation: Asinine Assignments for the Online Homework Cheating Industry
Vernon Chatman - 2013
But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.
Why Do Cats Always Land on Their Feet?: 101 of the Most Perplexing Questions Answered about Feline Unfathomables, Medical Mysteries and Befuddling Behaviors
Marty Becker - 2006
She knows how to scratch upright surfaces, cough up hairballs, send messages with her pee, and party all night. To the feline mind, these are the stuff of everyday life--as important as sleeping all day and grooming for several hours using nothing but your tongue.Your clever kitty knows you very well (after all, she sits and stares at you when you're in the bathroom). But how well do you know her? Find out why cats knead against us, the best way to hold a cat, how cats can jump onto your kitchen counters without even a running start, why they chew on your sweaters.Award-winning pet experts Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori explain the ins and outs of the feline psyche. Because the better you understand cats, the easier it is to love the kitty on your couch. Can you teach an old cat new tricks? You bet! Expecting a baby? It's perfectly okay to keep your cat. What about kittens? You'll find everything you always wanted to know about feline sex but were afraid to ask.Your cat's not crazy, but she can be mysterious. Did you know cats can tell time? They talk with their tails and walk on their toes. And there are even rumors that some cats are descendents of space aliens. It's no wonder the ancient Egyptians were not the only ones who worshipped them.You'll also find the answers to questions that tend to tickle your curiosity: Why do cats' eyes glow in the dark? What's in catnip that makes kitties so silly? Can curiosity really kill a cat?You've got questions? This book's got answers. Do cats always land on their feet? Find out!
Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse: The Official Field Manual for the End of the World
Jason Boyett - 2005
So go ahead and start with the panicky noises. Then, crack open this handy book. It's your comprehensive guide to the last days, a must-have for apocalypse watchers, readers of Revelation and all-around Armageddon obsessives. Inside you'll find valuable information like: -- A brief history of the end of the world -- The Apocalyptionary (a glossary of the end) -- Candidates for the Antichrist -- Fun with eschatology! -- The Endies (a salute to end-times entertainment) ...and several other slightly alarmist and conspiracy-minded categories. Doomsday has never been so much fun!
2⁷ Nerd Disses: A Significant Quantity of Disrespect
Zach Weinersmith - 2013
For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.
323 Disturbing Facts about Our World
Nayden Kostov - 2020
One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.
Phillips' Book of Great Thoughts and Funny Sayings
Bob Phillips - 1993
From Bible quotes and Christian teachings to the words of renowned historical figures, this collection of over 3,800 entries offers wit, wisdom, and an emphasis on practical living.