She's played by the rules and never stepped outside her box, and now she will finally be rewarded with everything she always dreamed of: a job promotion, a fiance, and a future she can count on. But when her perfectly planned world falls apart, Emily is plunged into the wildest year of her life.From the beaches of California to Jamaica, New York, and Europe, Emily finds herself on a madcap race against time, running from an unscrupulous organ broker who wants her dead, all the while checking items off her unusual bucket list. On top of it all, she's falling in love with the most unlikely person, a man who can never return her feelings . . . but will his friendship be enough?Confronting one hilarious misadventure after another, Emily finally learns who she really is and how to seize the day."Wacky comedic adventure with the same feel as Bridget Jones's Diary. Buckle your seat belts and prepare for a fun ride!" --Julie Peters, Amazon Reviewer**This book (200 pages) is part 1 of a two-part installment series. IT IS NOT THE FULL BOOK. Parts 1 & 2 (400 pages) may be purchased separately.****18+ for profanity and off-color humor**

    Enter Nothing Nice to Say. Mitch Clem's Nothing Nice to Say leaves no mohawked, leather-jacket-clad stone unturned in its mission to expose the awesomeness and the absurdity of punk culture. Sometimes esoteric and always hilarious, Nothing Nice is so punk you'd think the book was bound with safety pins.

    She hates the gym, is nice to everybody, and shops at Ross Dress for Less. When she's not teaching preschool, she's wearing yoga pants... to nap in. So when she inherits her estranged grandfather's fitnesswear company in San Francisco, nobody expects her to keep it. Fite Fitness needs a heartless suit to save it from bankruptcy, not a thirty-year-old woman who cries when her students leave for kindergarten.Someone like Liam Johnson. A former Olympic swimmer, Liam is Fite's executive vice president. Unlike Bev, he's devoted his life to Fite's success. Managing one little preschool teacher — and his attraction to her — shouldn't be an issue. Right?But Bev's tired of being underpaid and underrated, and refuses to step aside as an obedient figurehead. To everyone's shock and horror, she moves up to San Francisco, sets up an office, and dives into the business. Nothing — not mockery, not exercise, not sabotage, not a disastrously hot night with her aggravating VP — is going to scare her away.As Liam realizes she's tougher than she looks, he discovers that losing Fite might not be nearly as bad as losing her...A story about the pursuit of love, happiness, and the perfect yoga pants, Love Handles will speak to anyone who's ever had to face the thing that scares her most.Warning: contains at least two loves scenes and a happy ending.

    

    She has already graduated and has been hired at St Martin's, an all-boys school. The only problem with this is that she has to attempt to teach four boys to grade eleven History -and trust me when I say they are not going to make it easy for her. One nerdy girl.Four perverted boys.One History lesson every Friday. What could possibly go wrong?

    256 pages."Finally, a Dinosaur Comics book, unabridged and in full colour, AND with all three secret texts for each comic included! And it's so pretty, you guys. So pretty.Featuring an introduction by Randall Munroe of XKCD and an all-new index written by Ryan that includes, among other things, the 11 different types of makeouts referenced by T-Rex, this book is great. It gets greater: there's also an interview with the author AND a photo of Michael "Worf" Dorn. You know that you've always wanted these extras collected in one book, maybe with hundreds of Dinosaur Comics in the book too. THAT DREAM HAS NOW COME TRUE, and it's called "Dinosaur Comics: Dudes Already Know About Chickens".

    In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.

    From congresswoman to senator, the magnetic, ambitious single mother now has her eye on the White House—always looking forward, never back. Until an estranged childhood friend shreds her in an op-ed hit piece gone viral.With seven words—“Cleo McDougal is not a good person”—the presidential hopeful has gone from in control to damage control, and not just in Washington but in life.Enter Cleo’s “regrets list” of 233 and counting. Her chief of staff has a brilliant idea: pick the top ten, make amends during a media blitz, and repair her reputation. But there are regrets, and there are regrets: like her broken relationship with her sister, her affair with a law school professor…and the regret too big to even say out loud.But with risk comes reward, and as Cleo makes both peace and amends with her past, she becomes more empowered than ever to tackle her career, confront the hypocrites out to destroy her, and open her heart to what matters most—one regret at a time.

    From the Trade Paperback edition.

    This big sized coloring book is a challenge for all ages.If you are a fanatic doodler and obsessed with filling in and coloring doodles then this is definitely for you.Or you can just admire the detailed art.The book is filled with 50 unique and extremely detailed work of art by the master of doodles Kerby Rosanes.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    The deceptive, crooked path that led him to today began a few months back. Born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland, nineteen-year old Fleming was a professional baseball pitcher with the Chicago White Sox. His successful first year in the minor leagues was waylaid when he received his draft notice. Through a series of misadventures, he ended up enlisting for four years in an elite unit called the A.S.A. or Army Security Agency; the army’s equivalent to the N.S.A. or the National Security Agency. Once in the army, Fleming learned that the recruiter had manipulated him with a host of untruths. Then, to his dismay, he learned that the army had lost his orders and he was placed in an infantry unit. Once in Vietnam, Platoon Sergeant, Levine questioned Fleming and dragged out of him the sad story of how he had enlisted for four years and ended up in an infantry unit. He became the butt of the platoon’s jokes and underwent vicious ribbing by the other platoon members. That day, the platoon was ordered back to their base camp: L.Z. English. Before leaving, they endured a mortar attack and then a ground probe. Fleming’s foxhole mate was critically wounded. Fleming did everything he could to save the man but his wounds were too severe and he died in Fleming’s arms. Repulsed by the ordeal, Fleming was left wondering if he could endure a whole year of this. Twelve-year old Van Phan Duc and his two friends twelve-year old Hoi Anh Vanh and Dan Tri Quang lived happily in their village until the day a N.V.A. invaded and forced them to join their struggle and fight the invading Americans. They were then assigned to a Viet Cong unit where they met Sergeant Chi, the man who would train them to be soldiers for the revolution and lead them into battle. Three American soldiers had been captured. Chi ordered the three boys to participate in brutally torturing the Americans. Dan embraced the torture and it turned him into a brutal fighting machine, much to Chi’s satisfaction. On the other hand, Hoi was repulsed by the events and a part of him died that day. He performed the torture but it wasn’t to Chi’s satisfaction. Van, a devout Buddhist, was also repulsed. He realized that life, as a soldier was three hundred and sixty degrees opposite of Buddha’s spiritual path. The 173rd’s area of operations was the Central Highlands. The 173rd’s home base was in and around the town of Bong Son, but they patrolled all over the province of Binh Dinh. For the next few months, Fleming and Van’s units met on numerous occasions. The first time they engaged each other in combat was in a simple ambush that lasted only two minutes. Both men were left repulsed by the carnage that could take place in only two minutes. Right after the ambush, Fleming’s company was deployed in a battalion-sized operation located in the Dak To mountain range. It was an area where numerous North Vietnamese soldiers infiltrated into South Vietnam from neighboring Cambodia and Laos. Fleming’s company was dropped into an area far from Dak To and the men were forced to march (hump) to their final destination. During the trek, they had to carve their way through impenetrable jungle and cross leach infested rivers to reach their destination, all the while suffering under Vietnam’s oppressive heat. Van’s Viet Cong unit was sent to the Dak To mountain range to do battle with Fleming and his company. Months passed with Van and Fleming’s units constantly meeting. Both men had similar personalities. Both men overcame their initial shock at war’s brutality and became highly competent soldiers who bravely fought the enemy. Both men were ultimately made into squad leaders. Both men continued to hate the war, yet were entrapped in the insanity that was war. They both recognized what war was—a brutally insane series of events where lives were lost and where dreams died.

    Two nerdy gents home for winter break have discovered a female gamer at a midnight release.During the break, the gamer trio manages to reveal the game’s secret boss, a hidden enemy with enough power to destroy anything in its path. Pursued by other gamers who want to be the first to beat this boss, George and Katie race to level up, and, in so doing, restore decency and sexual activity to their personal galaxy…

    No joke! The only extraordinary thing about me is that I look EXACTLY like my BFF, Abbey Croxley. Oh, and that for reasons I can’t explain, I’ve agreed to swap identities and pretend be her to star in the TV show about her aristocratic family’s country estate, Million Dollar Mansion. So now it’s not just my tan I’m faking – it’s Kate Middleton style demure hemlines and lady-like manners too. And amongst the hundreds of fusty etiquette rules I’m trying to cram into my head, there are two I really must remember; 1) No-one can ever find out that I’m just Gemma, who’d be more at home in the servants quarters. And 2) There can be absolutely no flirting with Abbey’s dishy but buttoned-up cousin, Lord Edward.Aaargh, this is going to be harder than I thought…

    If it hadn’t happened before, it was unlikely to happen ever…until he collided into her that is. On that fateful day, as he walked to work, stepping from the centre of one pavement stone to the next, he crashed into Sandra Wiggins, who had also been discreetly avoiding the dreaded cracks. It was lust at first sight...love would have to wait. Apart, they were just weird, but together, they were pure mental! This is the bittersweet, hilarious story of two human lovebirds destined to spend their calamitous lives together…until something extraordinary occurs that threatens to decimate what remains of their limited sanity. Welcome to the New World Order created when Barry met his Miss. Match! QUOTES FROM THE BOOK: "It's a fine line between love and hate. Hate and she wrings your neck. Love and you ring her finger!" "The groom recommended his naked bride should leave her garter on in case she might get cold during the night." "If he wanted to date someone from a mental asylum, she would be top of his list." "Joanne flirted with men even in her sleep and was unaware of her libidinous behaviour most of the time." "Barry's stubble had sprouted overnight, like ugly perennial weeds violating a well manicured lawn." AMAZON REVIEWS: "This book had me laughing from the first page to the last." "I just loved this book, could not put it down, still reading at four in the morning, laughing out loud.” "From the moment I read the blurb on this one, I knew I had to snag a copy." "Made me LOL from the beginning right through till the very end. A happy feelgood book that I would highly recommend." "I loved the story and all the characters. I was engaged from start to finish. Lots of fun plot lines and lots of laughs." “This book was a great read from start to finish, it never got boring and was laugh out loud funny.” “Not one to usually read popular novels, this rocked.” “I read this book in one sitting, always a good sign. Laugh out loud funny.” “Just the opening line had me in stitches and intrigued as to how the rest of the book was going to span out.” “This book really is a laugh a minute book, very cleverly written and a definite page turner. A must read for anyone!” “Great coffee time read with one-liners you'll find yourself repeating again and again!”