Leaving Dirty Jersey: A Crystal Meth Memoir


James Salant - 2007
    At the age of eighteen, after one too many run-ins with the cops for drug possession, he left his upper-middle-class home in Princeton, New Jersey, for a stint at a rehab facility in Riverside, California. Instead of getting clean, he spent his year there shooting crystal meth and living as a petty criminal among not-so-petty ones until a near psychotic episode (among other things) convinced him to clean up.In stark prose infused with heartbreaking insight, wicked humor, and complete veracity, Salant provides graphic descriptions of life on crystal meth -- the incredible sex drive, the paranoia, the cravings. He details the slang, the scams, and the psychoses, and weaves them into a narrative that is breathtakingly honest and authentic. Salant grapples with his attraction to the thuggish life, eschewing easy answers -- his parents, both therapists, were loving and supportive, and his family's subtle dysfunctions typical of almost any American family.Exploring the allure and effects of the least understood drug of our time, "Leaving Dirty Jersey" is that rarity among memoirs -- a compulsively readable, superbly told story that is shocking precisely because it could happen to almost anyone.

Cold Turkey: How to Quit Drinking by Not Drinking


Mishka Shubaly - 2020
    Himself ten years sober, Shubaly addresses the slippery nature of alcoholism, and the messy, anxiety-ridden process of making the decision to stop drinking once and for all.For Shubaly, there is no one-size-fits-all plan. He refutes the notion that the one and only solution for those struggling are 12-step programs and provides a guide for those who want a different approach to getting sober. This is a how-to for those who are serious about taking their lives back, but are ready to define their sobriety on their own terms.In the process, Shubaly exposes—in brutal, up-close, and yes, even absurd and funny detail—what drove him to drink, how he put the bottle down, and the surprising life that awaited him when he did. Cold Turkey offers real, practical, and intimate advice for those struggling, straight from someone who has really been there. Sure, he understands that for the first three days, you might need to eat all the pizza and all the greasy Chinese food. But he also understands the urgent need to improve your life and habits little by little, day by day. Shubaly, no doubt, becomes the listener’s cheerleader. He wants anyone struggling to succeed.Ultimately, the takeaway is very simple: if Shubaly did it, you can too. And more than that, he’ll be right there with you every step of the way.

The Interventionist


Joani Gammill - 2011
    Phil's leading interventionist and recovering addict Joani Gammill."Exuding the same passion and purpose as the author herself, Joani Gammill's The Interventionist is a heartfelt game changer and long overdue. You deserve to read it." --Dr. Phil McGraw, host of CBS's nationally syndicated show "Dr. Phil" Joani Gammill, an average suburban mom on the outside, was secretly addicted to multiple forms of opiates and amphetamine for years, and almost died as a result. Through the life-changing intervention staged by Dr. Phil on his show, Gammill not only committed to getting help for her addiction, but she also went on to become a professional interventionist, helping thousands of others in distress. In The Interventionist, she intertwines her experiences with depictions of her often harrowing and always inspiring interventions of the addicts and families she's worked with over the years. In each chapter she recounts details of a client's unique battle with addiction and the devastation that led to a loved one's request for her help. Gammill's intriguing story--and the equally captivating stories of the brave people who come to her for help--demonstrates how it is possible to emerge from the seemingly hopeless world of out-of-control drug use and not only regain one's sanity, but actually discover that life clean and sober can be more meaningful than it ever was before.

We All Fall Down: Living with Addiction


Nic Sheff - 2011
     In his bestselling memoir Tweak, Nic Sheff took readers on an emotionally gripping roller-coaster ride through his days as an addict. In this powerful follow-up about his continued efforts to stay clean, Nic writes candidly about eye-opening stays at rehab centers, devastating relapses, and hard-won realizations about what it means to be a young person living with addiction. By candidly revealing his own failures and small personal triumphs, Nic inspires readers to maintain hope and to remember that they are not alone in their battles. A group reading guide is included. Nic Sheff's Tweak, We All Fall Down, and his father's memoir about him (Beautiful Boy) are the basis of the film Beautiful Boy starring Steve Carell and Timothée Chalamet.

More, Now, Again: A Memoir of Addiction


Elizabeth Wurtzel - 2000
    A cultural phenomenon by age twenty-six, she had fame, money, respecteverything she had always wanted except that one, true thing: happiness. For all of her professional success, Wurtzel felt like a failure. She had lost friends and lovers, every magazine job she'd held, and way too much weight. She couldn't write, and her second book was past due. But when her doctor prescribed Ritalin to help her focus-and boost the effects of her antidepressants -- Wurtzel was spared. The Ritalin worked. And worked. The pills became her sugar...the sweetness in the days that have none. Soon she began grinding up the Ritalin and snorting it. Then came the cocaine, then more Ritalin, then more cocaine. Then I need more. I always need more. For all of my life I have needed more... More, Now, Again is the brutally honest, often painful account of Wurtzel's descent into drug addiction. It is also a love story: How Wurtzel managed to break free of her relationship with Ritalin and learned to love life, and herself, is at the heart of this ultimately uplifting memoir that no reader will soon forget.

Drinking: A Love Story


Caroline Knapp - 1996
    Caroline Knapp describes how the distorted world of her well-to-do parents pushed her toward anorexia and alcoholism. Fittingly, it was literature that saved her: she found inspiration in Pete Hamill's 'A Drinking Life' and sobered up. Her tale is spiced up with the characters she has known along the way. A journalist describes her twenty years as a functioning alcoholic, explaining how she used alcohol to escape personal relationships and the realities of life until a series of personal crises forced her to confront her problem.

Danger to Self: On the Front Line with an ER Psychiatrist


Paul R. Linde - 2009
    In this lively first-person narrative, Paul R. Linde takes readers behind the scenes at an urban psychiatric emergency room, with all its chaos and pathos, where we witness mental health professionals doing their best to alleviate suffering and repair shattered lives. As he and his colleagues encounter patients who are hallucinating, drunk, catatonic, aggressive, suicidal, high on drugs, paranoid, and physically sick, Linde examines the many ethical, legal, moral, and medical issues that confront today's psychiatric providers. He describes a profession under siege from the outside--health insurance companies, the pharmaceutical industry, government regulators, and even "patients' rights" advocates--and from the inside--biomedical and academic psychiatrists who have forgotten to care for the patient and have instead become checklist-marking pill-peddlers. While lifting the veil on a crucial area of psychiatry that is as real as it gets, "Danger to Self" also injects a healthy dose of compassion into the practice of medicine and psychiatry.

Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction


Elizabeth Vargas - 2016
     From the moment she uttered the brave and honest words, "I am an alcoholic," to interviewer George Stephanopoulos, Elizabeth Vargas began writing her story, as her experiences were still raw. Now, in Between Breaths, Vargas discusses her accounts of growing up with anxiety--which began suddenly at the age of six when her father served in Vietnam--and how she dealt with this anxiety as she came of age, eventually turning to alcohol for a release from her painful reality. The now-A&E Network reporter reveals how she found herself living in denial about the extent of her addiction, and how she kept her dependency a secret for so long. She addresses her time in rehab, her first year of sobriety, and the guilt she felt as a working mother who could never find the right balance between a career and parenting. Honest and hopeful, Between Breaths is an inspiring read. Winner of the Books for a Better Life Award in the First Book category Instant New York Times and USA Today Bestseller

Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction


David Sheff - 2007
    Before Nic became addicted to crystal meth, he was a charming boy, joyous and funny, a varsity athlete and honor student adored by his two younger siblings. After meth, he was a trembling wraith who lied, stole, and lived on the streets. David Sheff traces the first warning signs: the denial, the three a.m. phone calls—is it Nic? the police? the hospital? His preoccupation with Nic became an addiction in itself. But as a journalist, he instinctively researched every treatment that might save his son. And he refused to give up on Nic.

Purge: Rehab Diaries


Nicole J. Johns - 2009
    Her prose is lucid and vivid, as she seamlessly switches verb tenses and moves through time. She unearths several important themes: body image and sexuality, sexual assault and relationships, and the struggle to piece together one's path in life. While other books about eating disorders and treatment may sugarcoat the harsh realities of living with and recovering from an eating disorder, Purge  does not hold back. The author presents an honest, detailed account of her experience with treatment, avoiding the clichéd happily-ever-after ending while still offering hope to those who struggle with eating disorders, as well as anyone who has watched a loved one fight to recover from an eating disorder.  Purge sends a message: though the road may be rough, ultimately there is hope.

Blackout Girl: Growing Up and Drying Out in America


Jennifer Storm - 2008
    At age six, Jennifer Storm was stealing sips of her mother's cocktails. By age 13, she was binge drinking and well on her way to regular cocaine and LSD use. Her young life was awash in alcohol, drugs, and the trauma of rape. She anesthetized herself to many of the harsh realities of her young life--including her own misunderstandings about her sexual orientation--, which made her even more vulnerable to victimization. Blackout Girl is Storm's tender and gritty memoir, revealing the depths of her addiction and her eventual path to a life of accomplishment and joy.

Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife


Brenda Wilhelmson - 2011
    She had a husband and two children. She was educated and made a good living as a writer. She had a vibrant social life with a tight circle of friends. She could party until dawn and take her children to school the next day. From the outside, she appeared to have it all together. But, in truth, alcohol was slowly taking over, turning her world on its side. Waking up to another hangover, growing tired of embarrassing herself in front of friends and family, and feeling important moments slip away, Brenda made the most critical decision of her life: to get sober. She kept a diary of her first year (and beyond) in recovery, chronicling the struggles of finding a meeting she could look forward to, relating to her fellow alcoholics, and finding a sponsor with whom she connected. Along the way, she discovered the challenges and pleasures of living each day without alcohol, navigating a social circle where booze is a centerpiece, and dealing with her alcoholic father's terminal illness and denial. Brenda Wilhelmson's Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife offers insight, wisdom, and relevance for readers in recovery, as well as their loved ones, no matter how long they've been sober.

Skin Game


Caroline Kettlewell - 1999
    Skin Game employs clear language and candid reflection to grant general readers as well as students an uncensored profile of a complex and unsettling disorder. "[This] mesmeric memoir examines the obsession with cutting that is believed to afflict somewhere around two million Americans, nearly all of them female," Francine Prose noted in Elle. "[Kettlewell's] language soars and its intensity deepens whenever she is recalling the lost joys and the thrilling sensation of sharp steel against her tender skin."

Memoirs of an Addicted Brain: A Neuroscientist Examines his Former Life on Drugs


Marc Lewis - 2011
    This cycle is at the root of all addictions, addictions to drugs, sex, love, cigarettes, soap operas, wealth, and wisdom itself. But why should this be so? Why are we desperate for what we don't have, or can't have, often at great cost to what we do have, thereby risking our peace and contentment, our safety, and even our lives?"The answer, says Dr. Marc Lewis, lies in the structure and function of the human brain. Marc Lewis is a distinguished neuroscientist. And, for many years, he was a drug addict himself, dependent on a series of dangerous substances, from LSD to heroin. His narrative moves back and forth between the often dark, compellingly recounted story of his relationship with drugs and a revelatory analysis of what was going on in his brain. He shows how drugs speak to the brain - which is designed to seek rewards and soothe pain - in its own language. He shows in detail the neural mechanics of a variety of powerful drugs and of the onset of addiction, itself a distortion of normal perception.Dr. Lewis freed himself from addiction and ended up studying it. At the age of 30 he traded in his pharmaceutical supplies for the life of a graduate student, eventually becoming a professor of developmental psychology, and then of neuroscience - his field for the last 12 years. This is the story of his journey, seen from the inside out.

Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget


Sarah Hepola - 2015
    She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. Drinking felt like freedom, part of her birthright as a strong, enlightened twenty-first-century woman. But there was a price. She often blacked out, waking up with a blank space where four hours should have been. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologized for things she couldn't remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth. The fuel she thought she needed was draining her spirit instead.A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure—the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most—but getting yourself back in return.