Now this former editor of The Harvard Lampoon and current writer for Saturday Night Live has returned to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world.In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy (“Is there a face fairy?â€) and his initial reaction to the “Got-your-nose†game (“Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monsterâ€). He goes on to present Count Dracula’s desperate Match.com profile (“I am normal human looking for human woman to come to castle. I am normal, regular humanâ€). Later, he gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can’t understand their masters’ compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day. And in the final chapter, he tackles some of life’s biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was. . . . Praise for Simon Rich’s Ant Farm “Ant Farm has an imaginative power that can trigger snort-fests. . . . Ferociously creative, this book is for readers craving both smart humor and belly laughs.â€â€“People (four stars)“Savagely funny.â€â€“The New York Times“Hilarious. Open this book anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh.â€â€“Jon Stewart“Ant Farm is what all humor books should be: full of brief, high-concept musings that you wish you’d thought of yourself.â€â€“Time Out New York“A satirical salmagundi that bites back . . . Imaginative premises abound. . . . As unpredictable as YouTube, as in your face as MySpace.â€â€“Publishers Weekly

    Hug (the Pug) tells the tale of a cute little pug who is on a quest for friendship, however, will his bladder problem prevent him from making friends?

    From Superman's loyal dog, Krypto, to Batman's heroic hound, Ace, this guide to the Worlds Greatest Pets has more than 200 DC characters, including many never-before-seen pets, all illustrated in Art Baltazar's Eisner Award-winning style! With an introduction by legendary creator Geoff Johns, the DC Super-Pets Character Encyclopedia is sure to please comic book lovers young and old.

    They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you?While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection.Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around.With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves.Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

    Well, Allia Zobel Nolan has, and this clever kitty tell-all is filled with their hilarious confessions paired with photographs of cats caught in acts of mischief.Written as though the cats are speaking, each admission presents a comical revelation. As the cats come clean, they admit to everything from playing tricks on the family dog to secretly hating milk. The result is a fun, great gift for cat lovers...and dog lovers who want the inside scoop on life among the litter crowd.With over 100,000 copies sold, Cat Confessions has clawed its way into the hearts of feline fans and will do the same to yours.

    Filled with personal stories—from the decision to become a mother to the heartbreak of miscarriage and ultimately, to the joy of raising a baby and living to tell about it—Sparkly Green Earrings will make you feel like you’re sitting across the table from your best friend. A must-read for anyone who’s ever had a child or even thought about it.

    Based on the popular Instagram account of the same name, Goats of Anarchy takes you on a tour of animal rescue guru and full-time goat mama Leanne Lauricella's goat rescue farm. This is a place where special-needs goats can heal, grow, and butt heads to their hearts’ content. Join Pocket, Ella, Chibs, Lyla, Prospect and Polly--the goat who took the Internet by storm with her adorable duck costume--as they rumble, snuggle, pig out, dress up, and even teach you a few goat yoga moves to loosen your haunches. You will love the beautiful, full color photographs throughout this bio filled book. Whether they’re learning to walk or just romping around the farm, these horned and hooved heartbreakers will have you grinning ear to ear as they chew the scenery—literally!

    Forced to return to her family in South Florida, a place where she never felt she fit in, Victoria moved into her parents' guest room and reluctantly took a job hostessing at The Bubblegum Kittikat, South Florida's "klassiest" gentlemen's club. This hilarious memoir recounts how working in a strip club helped her recover from her breakup while giving her life and herself a much needed makeover. Amateur Night at the Bubblegum Kittikat demonstrates what miracles can happen when you stop judging yourself and others and step far out of your comfort zone (in five inch Lucite heels).

    This book is full of magical creatures. Among them are dinosaurs, giant sea monsters, weird beasts, smart, friendly, and rare animals.The main hero of this book tries unusual hobbies, breaks sports records, visits remote countries, tastes strange meals, solves dangerous puzzles, and finds himself in the shoes of his favorite cartoon characters.As kids choose WOULD YOU RATHER crazy scenarios, they're sure to get the giggles! Moreover, every silly joke in this book is hilariously illustrated!Many kids of age from 5 to 11 years old enjoy coming up with their variations of these scenarios. It helps them to improve logical reasoning skills, skyrocket creativity, and develop a brilliant sense of humor.There are many important life lessons in the “YES or NO” Crazy Questions Game. At the same time, silly riddles and questions are extremely funny, especially because they are related to scenarios from the beginning of the book.The answers are often unexpected, thought-provoking, and fun to read together, even for parents, grandmas and grandpas, teachers, and elder siblings. Therefore, the whole family, church, or class will enjoy playing this cool quiz game. In this book, your boy or girl will discover: 80 Silly “Would You Rather” situations which will often make little kids cry with laughter 40 Ultra-funny unique hand-drawn illustrations picturing every single scenario Crazy Questions Game with 80 sensational “Do you believe it or not” questions Mind-blowing answers with often surprising explanations Gold mine of information related to the scenarios—references to some of the oddest marvels which happened in different places of the world and much more… Please also click the book’s cover to use Amazon’s ‘LOOK INSIDE’ feature and check out the wonderful illustrations of this funny picture book and see the examples of scenarios. This book is a corny bathroom reader and a top gift idea for the best friend’s birthday party, holiday, and even without an occasion.It's also an awesome read for a kindergarten, elementary school, backyard, beach, park, other outdoor space, summer camp, waiting room, airport, train station, boat, plane, metro, bus, car ride, and so on. It contains some of the best entertaining backseat road trip activities for kids.The readers even told me it could have become an award-winning book if there was such a thing as a crazy game-book award. So I’m sure your sons and daughters will love to read it!And let me tell you something else! A few children even used it as a coloring book and emailed me some jolly drawings of the book’s main hero.

    When Homer asked for her hand, Elsie instead headed to Orlando where she sparked with a dancing actor named Buddy Ebsen (yes, that Buddy Ebsen). But when Buddy headed for New York, Elsie’s dreams of a life with him were crushed and eventually she found herself back in the coalfields, married to Homer.Unfulfilled as a miner’s wife, Elsie was reminded of her carefree days with Buddy every day because of his unusual wedding gift: an alligator named Albert she raised in the only bathroom in the house. When Albert scared Homer by grabbing his pants, he gave Elsie an ultimatum: “Me or that alligator!” After giving it some thought, Elsie concluded there was only one thing to do: Carry Albert home.Carrying Albert Home is the funny, sweet, and sometimes tragic tale of a young couple and a special alligator on a crazy 1000-mile adventure. Told with the warmth and down-home charm that made Rocket Boys/October Sky a beloved bestseller, Homer Hickam’s rollicking tale is ultimately a testament to that strange and marvelous emotion we inadequately call love.

    In this lively collection, learn how an ordinary young man, Mahesh Das, became the beloved Raja Birbal we all know today, and how he uses his famous wit, time and again, to build a ‘celestial palace’ for Emperor Akbar, order a census of crows, trap a thief using a magic bamboo, and much more.Replete with wisdom and wit, and brought to life by Tapas Guha’s beautiful illustrations, this clever collection of stories also offers valuable life lessons hidden beneath its humour.

    She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she’s stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove.Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn--with a touch of antique skunk--and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey.When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools).Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul.And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

    Her mother, a distant relative of William Faulkner, told neighbors and family that her daughter had died. The two never saw each other again. Nearly twenty-five years later, after building her own family and happy home life, a lawyer called to say her mother was dead. In this story about the fragility of memory and the complexity of family, Beam decides to look back at her own dark history, and for the secret to her mother’s madness.

    Some sacrificed everything for love, while others met a cruel fate at the edge of an axman's blade. From the truth behind the supposed madness of King George to Queen Victoria's surprisingly daring taste in sculpture, Behind the Palace Doors ventures beyond the rumors to tell the unvarnished history of Britain's monarchs, highlighting the unique mix of tragedy, comedy, romance, heroism, and incompetence that has made the British throne a seat of such unparalleled fascination.Featuring: - stories covering every monarch, from randy Henry VIII to reserved Elizabeth II - historical myths debunked and surprising "Did you know . . . ?" anecdotes - four family trees spanning every royal house, from the Tudors to the Windsors

    . . but rarely acknowledging.Filled with insights and observations that instantly ring true—and could have come only from Nora Ephron—I Remember Nothing is pure joy.