Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

    30,000 first printing."

    Her voice lit up Radio 4's News Quiz, she was brilliant on QI and she tirelessly travelled the UK as one of the most respected and loved comics on the circuit.' STEPHEN FRYStephen Fry spoke for much of middle England when he responded to the news of Linda Smith's tragic death of cancer, aged 48, earlier this year. Linda was the brilliant mainstay of Radio 4's The News Quiz, Just a Minute, and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue for many years. She was just establishing her career on TV through blistering performances on Have I Got News for You, QI and Room 101, when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.Linda was one of the few women to conquer the male dominated world of comedy and she had the wit and the charm to win over millions of male and female fans in equal measure. She had an eye for the absurdities of modern life and loved to prick the egos of the pompous and the vain. She could be savage about the people she despised too. When she spoke of the "dead devil-eyes of Nicky Campbell" she meant it. When she called David Mellor, "the thinking woman's fat ugly bastard", she meant it even more. When she called David Blunkett "Satan's bearded folk singer", it was a simple statement of fact. No wonder then Linda was voted the 'wittiest person alive' by Radio 4 listeners in 2002.In this brilliant anthology, we go right back to the start of Linda's career and re-live her very best material from the picket lines of the Miners' Strike, to the Edinburgh Festival and on to her mainstream success on BBC radio and TV, and as touring comedian loved up and down the country. The Very Best of Linda Smith is being compiled and edited by her partner of twenty-three years, Warren Lakin. The book also carries contributions from her extensive fan club including: Paul Merton, Graham Norton, Clive Anderson, Bill Bailey, Jo Brand, Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Dawn French, Stephen Fry, Tony Hawks, Eddie Izzard, Matt Lucas, Nicholas Parsons and Alexei Sayle amongst others. It will be the must-have gift for comedy fans and Radio 4 listeners this Christmas.

    This time there are no suave, wise-cracking good guys, no humorless, drug-addled bad guys. The story I want to tell you is all about how I learned to sleep at night, to close my eyes without seeing cold places and dead eyes… how I dragged whatever was left of me up out of the dark, finally. That’s the story I want to tell, because that’s the story I need to hear. I want to know how it ends..."Returning to normal life after his dark days in the depths of the Jianghu hasn't been easy for Randall Lee. With big changes coming in his future, though, Randall offers to help rehabilitate an injured friend, only to find that the need for healing goes far deeper than he ever expected. Bridging the events of Jianghu and the upcoming Randall Lee Mystery, The Art of War, Eating Bitter is a quiet story of resilience and perseverance, punctuated with Randall's trademark humor and self-deprecation.

    . . until Dottie’s given a free trip to Las Vegas. Second-grade teacher Dottie Gale lives in the tiny town of Quandary, Kansas, which is pretty much smack dab in the middle of nowhere. No mountains. No ocean. No life. Her ex-boyfriend and current school board member, Corbin Lane, cheated on her, making school functions more than a little awkward. But worst of all, a tornado named Maxine Westward rips through Dottie’s school as the new principal and has made her life at work a living hell. When Dottie is chosen to go to a teacher’s conference in Las Vegas, she knows her life is going to change. Driving from Quandary to Vegas, three strangers enter her life. Through a string of situations involving poppies, flying monkeys, and a life-size sculpture of an iconic rock star the four soon become inseparable. So, when Westward arrives on her broom in Vegas, Dottie is ready for battle. Her boss black mails her with stories of incarceration, thievery, and a steamy relationship with her travel companion, but Dottie knows that those who hurl insults shouldn’t hold secrets of their own. Editorial Reviews "I had so much fun reading this and spotting all the clever twists, it was very entertaining. In fact I’m tempted to re-read it, to find more of the subtle hints. I’ve also been to a few of the places mentioned in the book which meant an extra thumbs up for me. I would definitely recommend to readers who enjoy a modern take on a good original oldie." Roses are Amber

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    . . in other words the back-to-schoolers and the university goers. __________________________________This is a student.He is leaving home for the first time.By the time he graduates, he will be grown-up: exhausted, hideously in debt and unable to imagine going to bed sober.__________________________________Reynard has brought everything he needs for his first year.He unpacks his fancy-dress costumes, his four-way extension leads, his pair of pants and all his didgeridoos.By doing front, back, inside-out front, inside-out back, and using Febreze and Imodium, he plans to make his pants last until half term.__________________________________ This delightful book is part of a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseHow it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

    Laugh as you learn about America's friendly northern neighbor with this step-by-step guide to Canadian customs, pop culture, and slang -- perfect for anyone who's considered moving to (or just visiting) maple leaf country.Written by New York Times bestselling author (and born-and-bred Canuck) Jenn McCartney, this comprehensive guide will teach you everything you need to know about Canada, including: HistoryBewildering residency rules, demystifiedUnique laws and customsContributions to the arts and pop culture (Celine Dion, Margaret Atwood, Justin Bieber)Colorful slang, explainedCreative doodles, helpful charts, and fun graphsHilarious and honest, this guide will delight your politically disgruntled father, nudge your bleeding-heart neighbor to hit the road, and inspire you to plan for (or daydream about) your own Canadian getaway.

    On the run, he holes up in a sheltered barrio on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean owned by his wealthy but unsympathetic father. Here he meets Sweets, the telepathic dog, laments the loss of Sofia, his madhouse lover, and plays the horses at the Del Mar Racetrack. Eventually he meets up with an old friend, Shelly Hubbard, a fellow horseplayer, record collector/dealer, and hardcore loner, who tells him about his brother, Donny, dead at the age of eighteen from a tragic dive off a thirty-foot La Jolla sea cliff known as the Clam. Eddie discovers a family secret and wants to help, but by then he's already embroiled in the psychotic incident with the Tijuana prostitutes, the madhouse lover, and the police, who are hot on his tail. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has nothing on Whirlaway, a hilarious novel of escaped mental patients, horseplayers, and record collectors.

    

     Amazon UK reviews for Steven's first book, No Place Like Home, Thank God: "A superb book I devoured in two days." "This book made me laugh out loud." "Great read. Laugh out loud funny." "I really enjoyed this book!" "Steven's style of writing made me laugh out loud." "I couldn't put it down." "One of the best books I've read in a long time." "Found his one liners very funny." "A highly entertaining read." "So well written with brilliant humour." Seventy year-old British ex-pat miserymonger George Pearly lives on the Costa del Sol, all alone except for his ancient, three-legged dog, Ambrose. George hates his life and everybody in it. These feelings are mutual. Everyone hates George too. From this unhappy equilibrium the situation quickly deteriorates. First, George discovers he is dying of a mystery illness. Then his 35 year-old ape-child nephew, Kevin, moves into George's tiny and once tranquil home with a passion for Vimto, Coco Pops and slobbing around in his greying underpants. Worst of all, George's neighbours start to disappear and all accusing fingers point towards George. Pull up a sun lounger, grab yourself a piña colada and enjoy a murder-mystery romp on Spain's sunny southern coast.

    Famous Writers School is composed of three aspiring authors' letters and stories sent to a correspondence course by that grandiose name, and the self-serving lessons that Wendell Newton, their endearingly obtuse instructor, doles out in response.Wendell's oddball collection of students includes Rio, an alluring blues singer on whom he quickly develops a crush; Linda Trane, an unhinged housewife who may be stalking him; and Dan, a truly talented author of hard-boiled detective fiction. As Dan's gritty mystery arrives piece by piece, Wendell gets hooked on the story--and decides to dress it up in his own style in order to pass it off as his creation.

    Reeves truly was the most unusual US Marshal to ever serve this country. His accomplishments earned him the title of the most feared lawman in the wild and untamed Indian Territory. The reader will follow his never ending contacts with murders, robbers, horse thieves and whiskey runners. His remarkable life should be an inspiration for any reader. They will be impressed, and astonished by his fearlessness, dedication to honor, commitment to the law and his impact on history. Bass Reeves Lawman is the second of a trilogy based on the true life of Bass Reeves, the first Black US Marshal west of the Mississippi. You will follow him from as he meets famous people of the time. Pistol Pete, Belle Starr, Judge Isaac Parker, Heck Thomas and Sam Sixkiller were just some of the famous and infamous who crossed paths with this amazing man. Bass Reeves was born a slave, escaped captivity during the Civil War. His years of service, as a US Marshal, to the lawless Indian Territory helped write the history of Oklahoma. His honor, accomplishments and courage makes him eligible to be called the greatest lawman of his time. Bass Reeves’ story will make any lover of the old west wonder why he is not more famous. The history of the Old West is filled with stories of heroes and villains, and those stories have been a source of fascination for generations. The fact that the stories of these unique and colorful characters continue to intrigue people is a true testament to the grit and determination it actually took to tame a wild and unpredictable country. Among those stories, readers will seldom find a character that overcame more challenges and had more determination than Bass Reeves. As a slave, Reeves served a man who ultimately became the Speaker of the House of Texas. He was a participant in the Civil War and escaped to the lawless Indian Territory that is now Oklahoma. His life with the Indians, gave him the skills to make him a great tracker and hunter of outlaws. He learned five languages and gained respect of the Indians of the Territory, which made him one of the few who could gain information and accomplish the task of hunting down the lawless. Bass Reeves faced challenges in his new homeland that would have destroyed a lesser man, but his natural gifts of determination and intelligence helped mold the man into one of the most feared and respected lawmen in history. The story of Bass Reeves was illuminated in his day by only a flicker of candlelight, because he was black. If he had been a white man, the entire world would have known of his great exploits, and his name would have been mentioned with the likes of Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson and Bill Hickok. If the real truth had been known, the name of Bass Reeves would have been a beacon of historical light, shining brighter than any of his contemporaries. The truth is, many of those more famous lawmen also reveled in some of the less honorable sides of life, like gambling, prostitution, profiteering, murder and vengeance. To the contrary, research into the life of Bass Reeves has shown that he strictly obeyed the laws of the land and strove to treat the men he hunted with even more respect than was customary for that time in history. Amazingly, Reeves stuck to these high standards in a wild territory that was often filled with greater danger than any of his contemporaries could have even imagined. Bass Reeves brought law to a territory of outlaws that spread out over seventy thousand square miles. He arrested more than three thousand offenders and delivered them to face judgment before Judge Parker, in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

     Hard-hitting newspaper journalist turned stay-at-home mum and part-time failing food columnist, Marnie is wondering when her life went so wrong. While her husband Matt’s career takes off, she’s left with the impossible task of pairing socks and locating Lego. His late nights at the office are turning into late nights who knows where else and they haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks, sex in months, or a full night’s sleep in years. On the brink of losing everything when a fantasy about movie star Maddox Wolfe leads to a missed deadline and a disastrous case of food poisoning, Marnie becomes Mrs Make Believe: anonymous blogger, secret spiller, and voice of imperfect mums everywhere. However, Marnie Martin could never have imagined that her movie star daydream would walk off the screen and into her reality, turning her already muddled world totally on its head. Will Marnie find happiness in the arms of the (literal) man of her dreams? Or will she find that true love is just make believe?

    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.