She never laughed, or cried, or uttered any sound. Despite efforts to reach her, Jadie remained locked in her own troubled world—until one remarkable teacher persuaded her to break her self-imposed silence. Nothing in all of Torey Hayden's experience could have prepared her for the shock of what Jadie told her—a story too horrendous for Torey's professional colleagues to acknowledge. Yet a little girl was living in a nightmare, and Torey Hayden responded in the only way she knew how—with courage, compassion, and dedication—demonstrating once again the tremendous power of love and the relilience of the human spirit.

    to tell; help can come when you tell."Written and illustrated by a young girl who was sexually molested by a family member, this book reaches out to other children in a way that no adult can, Jessie's words carry the message, "It's o.k. to tell; help can come when you tell."This book is an excellent tool for therapists, counselors, child protection workers, teachers, and parents dealing with children affected by sexual abuse.Jessie's story adds a sense of hope for what should be, and the knowledge that the child protection system can work for children. Simple, direct, and from the heart, Jessie gives children the permission and the courage to deal with sexual abuse."Please Tell! is a beautifully simple book with a profoundly important message for children who have been sexually abused: the abuse wasn't their fault. Written and illustrated by Jessie, herself a pre-teen survivor of sexual abuse, it tells kids just what to do to get the help they need." Kristin A. Kunzman, abuse therapist and author of The Healing Way: Adult Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse

    She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.

    Until that time these were people who were silently making their way through adulthood not understanding why they were so unsatisfied and unhappy when "everything seemed okay," or why some one thing, person or place "was never enough." For many there was a chronic gnawing sense that something was missing. This great number of people happily took on the identity of being an ACA or ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholic). They were grateful to have a framework in which to understand and conceptualize their experience. They had been given a language in which to voice their experiences. Yet what was true for this particular population could be generalized to people from other types of troubled families. They were from homes where there were abuses, other addictions, compulsive behaviors or mental illness - homes that for whatever the reasons were characterized by loss and shame. Repeat After Me was written in the spirit of offering all who were raised in troubled families a process of self-exploration, insight and healing that would lead to a positive change in their lives.As adults began that process of asking how their childhood was influencing their present day life, the intent was never one of blame but of insight and understanding. It has been the author's contention that we repeat the life scripts of our family as a result of internalized beliefs and behaviors that were either modeled for us or were a part of our survivorship. We cannot put a painful past history behind us without first owning it. It is not enough to say I came from an alcoholic family or an abusive family. We must go beyond that acknowledgment to see how our internalized beliefs and behaviors have shaped us to be the person we are today. With that in mind Repeat After Me was written.Repeat After Me is not a book that explains how problems come to be as much as it is a book that takes you through a process of letting go of hurtful beliefs and behaviors. While insight is often the precursor to change, insight alone is not enough for most people to create change. People need to believe they deserve positive change and they need to develop skills that make change occur. While many of the changes in this second edition of Repeat After Me are subtle, it is written to support the reader's belief in their personal worth and assist them in identifying and focusing on skills. The knowledge that comes in owning the past and connecting it to the present is vital to developing empathy for the strength of both our defenses and skills. It also helps us to lessen our shame and not hold ourselves accountable for the pain we have carried. When we understand the reasons for why we have lived our life as we have, that understanding fuels our ongoing healing. The change we want to create in our life is made most directly as a result of letting go of old, hurtful belief systems and learning new skills. Repeat After Me guides you in this process.

    This new edition includes updated resources, additional exercises, and guidelines for men of different cultural and ethnic backgrounds.

    

    Acknowledging the abuse after years of silence and secrecy and beginning a healing journey require support and encouragement. Long after the abuse has ended, negative internal messages can invade and linger. Daybreak's positive statements intercept self-defeating messages, guiding readers toward new and healthy ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. These affirmations and thoughtful meditations cover topics such as intimacy, fear, play, sharing secrets, and anger. Read daily or by subject, Daybreak brings the experience of sexual abuse into the light where hope resides and change and healing are possible. Women survivors of other types of abuse and men survivors of abuse may also find benefit from these readings.