Since that time he has answered thousands of questions about birds, both at his store and while walking down the aisles of the supermarket. The questions have ranged from inquiries about individual species ("Are flamingos really real?") to what and when to feed birds ("Should I bring in my feeders for the summer?") to the down-and-dirty specifics of backyard birding ("Why are the birds dropping poop in my pool?"). Answering the questions has been easy; keeping a straight face has been hard.Why Don't Woodpeckers Get Headaches? is the solution for the beginning birder who already has a book that explains the slight variation between Common Ground-Doves and Ruddy Ground-Doves but who is really much more interested in why birds sing at 4:30 A.M. instead of 7:00 A.M., or whether it's okay to feed bread to birds, or how birds rediscover your feeders so quickly when you've just filled them after a long vacation. Or, for that matter, whether flamingos are really real.

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Some mammoths were smaller than children. Owls are the dumbest birds in the world. Very few people with Tourette's syndrome swear. You can't get a six-pack from doing sit-ups. King Arthur's sword wasn't called Excalibur. Milk doesn't make your bones strong. There's no bones in your fingers. The Bible states that humans can't become angels. Humans have more than two nostrils. It's impossible to slide down a bannister. At a wedding, the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. Ties were invented for war, not fashion. Most Disney classics made almost no money. Slavery has only been illegal in the UK since 2010. George Washington wasn't the first American President. Velcro doesn’t exist. Nobody knows why we sleep.

    He wanted to go; she wanted to stay. They both learn, grow, and change as a new level of freedom evolves.This book is light-hearted and humorous but at the same time serious. While not a How-To book, it gives lots of basic information about RVing. And while not a travelogue, it touches upon many travel destinations in the United States and Canada. On deeper levels, the book is about marital relationships, retiring and getting old, and finding a new kind of freedom through a minimalistic lifestyle.After reading this book, you’ll never again look at one of those huge monstrosities driving down the road in quite the same way. The book answers questions for non-RVers and triggers chuckles of recognition from experienced RVers.What Others Are Saying:When his RV dream rear-ends her perfectly mapped-out retirement, navigating through their travails and travels - in life and on the road - spins a romantic and humorous adventure. - Doreen Orion, author of Queen of the Road

    No human being who stood on her decks that fateful night was alive to commemorate the event on its 100th anniversary. Their stories are with us, however, and the lessons remain. From the moment the world learned the Titanic had sunk, we wanted to know, who had survived? Those answers didn’t come until the evening of Thursday, April 18, 1912―when the Cunard liner Carpathia finally reached New York with the 706 survivors who had been recovered from Titanic’s lifeboats. Harold Bride, “Titanic’s surviving wireless operator,” relayed the story of the ship’s band. “The way the band kept playing was a noble thing. I heard it first while still we were working wireless when there was a ragtime tune for us. The last I saw of the band, when I was floating out in the sea with my lifebelt on, it was still on deck playing ‘Autumn.’ How they ever did it I cannot imagine.” There were stories of heroism―such as that of Edith Evans, who was waiting to board collapsible Lifeboat D, the last boat to leave Titanic, when she turned to Caroline Brown and said, “You go first. You have children waiting at home.” The sacrifice cost Evans her life, but as Mrs. Brown said later, “It was a heroic sacrifice, and as long as I live I shall hold her memory dear as my preserver, who preferred to die so that I might live.” There was mystery. There was bravery. There was suspense. There was cowardice. Most men who survived found themselves trying to explain how they survived when women and children had died. But mostly, there was loss. On her return to New York after picking up Titanic’s survivors, Carpathia had become known as a ship of widows. Rene Harris, who lost her husband, Broadway producer Henry Harris, in the disaster, later spoke of her loss when she said, “It was not a night to remember. It was a night to forget.” Drawing on a wealth of previously unpublished letters, memoirs, and diaries as well as interviews with survivors and family members, veteran author and writer Alan Rockwell brings to life the colorful voices and the harrowing experiences of many of those who lived to tell their story. More than 100 years after the RMS Titanic met its fatal end, the story of the tragic wreck continues to fascinate people worldwide. Though many survivors and their family members disappeared into obscurity or were hesitant to talk about what they went through, others were willing to share their experiences during the wreck and in its aftermath. This book recounts many of these first-hand accounts in graphic, compelling detail.

    Your time starts now …In the TV show and on my marriage certificate, my job description is ‘Taskmaster’s Assistant’. That’s what I do and it’s an honour. I like Taskmaster a lot. And, of course, I love The Taskmaster. He’s mountainous. If you feel in any way the same as me then you should enjoy this book.There are tasks for you, your friends and your family. There are secret things and sneaky tricks. And there is one swear word. So it’s almost exactly like being on the show.Good luck. Make good choices. Let’s do Him proud.Alex HorneTaskmaster’s Assistant

    FIND THE ANSWERS TO THESE GREAT GAMING MYSTERIES INSIDE What is the most critically acclaimed game of all time? What is the most played videogame of all time? Who owns the world's biggest Pok

    Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, including: "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed Ali You won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool.So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

    There are classical logic puzzles, lateral thinking puzzles, “who am I?” riddles, mathematical brain teasers, word ladders, ditloids, and a large selection of illustrated pen and paper, coins, cups, and toothpicks puzzles (please view the preview of this book for a full listing). This is the first time a collection of such breadth has been compiled and formatted especially for Kindle devices. The puzzles have been carefully organized into 25 chapters, and each question is hyperlinked to its solution, to provide utmost ease of navigation. Alongside the world’s most famous riddles, are some lesser known gems, and some brand new puzzles, in print here for the first time. Our aim was to create a definitive compendium of riddles and puzzles to bring enjoyment to people of all ages. We hope you will enjoy unraveling them as much as we enjoyed creating and editing them. Here are a handful of sample riddles: Outside the Box Riddles: You need to divide a round birthday cake into eight pieces, so each of your guests will have something to eat. How can you do this by making only three straight cuts with a knife, and without moving any of the pieces? The king’s two bodyguards developed an ingenious method for assuring the king’s safety. With the king standing between them, they would face in opposite directions; one looking to the west and the other to the east, but at the same time, and without the use of any reflective surfaces, they would both be able to observe the king clearly. How was this possible? Pure Logic Riddles: There are two glasses. One contains water, and the other contains an equal quantity of wine. A teaspoon of water is removed and mixed into the glass of wine. A teaspoon of the wine-water mixture is then removed and mixed into the glass of water. Which of the mixtures is now purer? The sorcerer’s tower was enchanted in such a way that it was able to build itself. Bricks, slates, tiles, and panes of glass, all flew to it of their own accord and danced into position. The tower doubled in size every day until after 100 days it reached a height that provided fine views over the entire realm. How many days did the tower take to reach half its full height? Lateral Thinking Puzzles: Five men are going to church. It starts to rain, and four of the men begin to run. When they arrive at the church, the four men who ran are soaking wet, whereas the fifth man, who didn’t run, is completely dry. How is this possible? Think Twice Riddles: If you are running a race, and you overtake the person in second place, what place do you move into? Word Riddles: SOS is read the same forwards, backwards, and even upside-down. What four-letter word also shares these properties? Number Puzzlers: How many letters are there in the answer to this question? You have an opportunity to buy a hen. In fact, you have been offered a choice between two quite remarkable animals. One of the hens produces six dozen dozen eggs per month, and the other produces a half dozen dozen. Admittedly, both seem impressive. Does it matter which hen you choose? Traditional Poetic Riddles: Five creatures cross a field of snow; But leave a single track behind Whose loops and bows are soon, I know, Unravelled by the mind. Coins, Cups, and Toothpicks Illustrated Riddles: A coin is dropped into an empty bottle and a cork is then inserted in the neck of the bottle. How is it possible to remove the coin without taking out the cork, or breaking the bottle?

    Pellham **Do you own a guinea pig but don’t know the first thing about how to take proper care of it? Are you considering getting one but want to make sure it’s really the best decision for you? Whatever your situation, this book will teach you everything you need to know to make sure you are making the best possible decisions.Taking care of any pet can be a huge responsibility. That’s why it is so important to do your research and really know what you are getting yourself into before you actually commit to owning any pet. Guinea pigs are no exception to this rule. While they are becoming increasingly more common as household pets, guinea pigs are still somewhat exotic and, as a result, most people don’t really know much about exactly what they need.That’s exactly where this book comes in. If you’ve been browsing the animal shelter or pet websites and can’t resist the adorable furry face of those guinea pigs you’ve seen, read this book before you make an impulse decision you might regret.Learn about:•The 10 different breeds of guinea pig you can own as a pet•The pros & cons of owning a pet guinea pig•The supplies you’ll need to provide a proper home for your new pet (and a rough estimate of how much it will cost)•The basic care you will need to provide for your guinea pig•How to train your guinea pig to do cool & useful tricks•A brief overview of how to breed your pet guinea pig and sell the offspringSo get this book and decide if this adorable little creature is the right addition to your home and then learn how you can be the best guinea pig parent there ever was!>>Purchase or Download This Book Today, Available on Kindle & in Print. <<

    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

    Readers travel up and down the Himalayan Mountains and across the continent of Africa, as well as a few more fantastic places. This Choose Your Own Adventure collection is shrink-wrapped in a purple box featuring full-size artwork from titles 1 and 3. Ages 7-12.Includes the following titles: #1: The Abominable Snowman #2: Journey Under the Sea #3: Space and Beyond #4: The Lost Jewels of Nabooti

    Soar on imagination's wings and see them all: from the ancient legends to the modern creations; from the firebreather that battled Beowulf to the delightful beasts of Jane Yolen and Terry Pratchett. Everything you ever wanted to know about the most fabulous creatures ever to inhabit our collective memory is here, and more, snorting fire and phosphine gas and ploughing the waters of primordial chaos. The Babylonians knew him, the Sumerians, the ancient Egyptians. He is found not only in the Bible but in China, in the Norse sagas and the lost myths of the Americas. Drawing on sources from myth, folklore, and novels, the authors offer a compendium on dragons--similarities and differences, the dragon of the hero quest, humorous dragons, cuddly dragons, and more. But Anne McCaffrey is a storyteller, not an encyclopedist; and dragons are wary of dry and dusty places, like lecture rooms and libraries. So this book begins (as must all good tales) with a mysterious visitor and ends (as do all true dragon encounters) with an adventure almost too wondrous for words to tell.

     By Your Side- Jake Miller likes his life. It’s simple and quiet. Solitary. He’s taking the last thing his mother truly cared about before she died, the properties she owned, and making them his purpose. His time in the Army hadn’t allowed him to be there for her before, but this is something he can do now. Just him and his dog. Exactly how he wants it. Until her, his first tenant. With her innate openness and blinding smiles, the opposite of everything he thought he could possibly want. Casey Steadman has less to show for her twenty-nine years than she’d hoped. No white picket fence. No 2.5 kids. And definitely no loving husband. Just a few lukewarm relationships, an exceedingly crappy apartment, and a fabulous shoe collection (and the credit card debt to prove it). Moving into her new place is one big, high heeled step towards a new life. The stable, make-boring-mature-decisions kind of life that she needs to be able to prove to her family that she can live. What she wasn’t planning on was her hotter-than-Hades new landlord. Sparks are a-flying, and they’re the kind that can only come from a stiletto-loving, dog-hating, budget-repelling, relentlessly optimistic, youngest of five becoming the tenant and next door neighbor to a stoically silent, slightly pessimistic, ‘my only friend is my dog’, only child and former Army Ranger. Casey and Jake are total opposites. But when they come together, it just might be true love. Light Me Up- For Rachel Hennessy, it’s been an interesting six months. Boyfriend? Cheated on her. Job? She totally just got fired. Starting her own wedding planning business sounds exciting … in theory. In reality, it’s completely terrifying. And on top of all that, the freaking cherry right on top? She just had an ill-timed, alcohol-instigated one-night stand with her bff Casey’s brother, Tate. Yeah, that Tate. The one that she’s had a teensy, inconvenient crush on for years. But nothing about it is ill-timed or inconvenient for Tate Steadman. Because he finally feels free. Free of the oppressive relationship he’d been in for the past six years. Free to pursue Rachel, because one alcohol-fueled night was not even close to enough for him. He just wished she saw it that way. Because she makes him want more than he ever knew he was capable of. When their one night has unexpected consequences, Rachel has no clue how to trust that he’s not just trying to be ‘the good guy’ who wants to do ‘the right thing’. And even though the chemistry between them practically burns down an entire city block when they’re together, she doesn’t know how to let down the concrete wall she’s built up around herself. The ‘mistake’ of one evening can change the trajectory of two lives, but maybe a mistake is all they really need to push them right into true love. Tell Them Lies- Liz Peters hasn’t exactly gotten the happily-ever-after she’s read about in her Jane Austen books. ‘Always a bridesmaid’ is more fitting to the way life has been passing this good girl by. About to go postal from loneliness, she meets a man who doesn’t seem to fit any of her requirements for a book-worthy hero. Kieran Carter would do just about anything to put a smile on his terminally ill mother’s face. When he meets a woman in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store, Kieran finally has opportunity to do just that. If he needs to lie in order to give his mom a little hope? Not a freakin problem.

    HEY, U UP? tackles all the milestones of relationships today—both glorious and embarrassing— with sections ranging from “How to Ask Someone Out After You’ve Slept with Them” all the way to “Establish Your Family as the Christmas Family by Turning Your Significant Other Against Their Own Parents.” In addition to the laugh-out-loud essays, lists, questionnaires, and even flowcharts further enliven the pages.