This is storytelling at its funniest.If laughter is the best medicine, then this book is your prescription. Turn off the news and spend a few days not following current events. Instead, return to the basics—humanity’s ability to laugh at itself. Maybe you should even do a news cleanse for a few days! Hide under the covers and read these stories instead. Or read a chapter a day, or a story a day for 101 days. These pages contain the antidote to whatever is troubling you. They will definitely put you in a good mood. No one is safe from our writers— from spouses to parents to children to colleagues and friends. And of course the funniest of all are the stories they tell about their own mishaps and those “most embarrassing moments.” There’s no holding anything back in these pages, so prepare for lots of good, clean (and not so clean) fun.

    

    Donald Trump. Ivanka Trump. Hillary Clinton. Oprah. Barack Obama. Paul Ryan. Joe Biden. John Kerry. And a cast of thousands as the story behind the headlines you can't believe is exposed. Part political thriller, part soap opera, partially insane. The Deepest State was a viral hit - and this edition has the EXCLUSIVE, never before seen short story, "Enter the Bidenverse." Here's what they're saying about The Deepest State: "One of the greatest threads in Twitter history" – Richard Metzger "An amazing read" – A. Whitney Brown "Just keeps getting more amazing" – Jon Cryer "Amazing well written and riveting" – Merrill Markoe "This… is glorious" – Joy Reid "Epic, epic thread" – Jill Lawrence "A Twitter thread for the ages" – Marsha Warfield "Fucking brilliant" – Jeff Jarvis "Fantastic." – Steven Boyer "The most gorgeous thing I have read in a long time" – Penelope Patsuris "Good times" – Eliza Skinner "Comedy gold" – PJ Manney

    No matter what our financial or family situation, we each get 24 hours a day. In the practical and straightforward style to which his Dragon's Den contestants are accustomed, Duncan Bannatyne explains how we can make the most of our time to get the most from our lives, and not just our working day. What do you really want to do with your life? This book will help you identify the goals and aspirations that really matter to you so that you can make them happen. It will give you the confidence to make your ambitions a reality and teach you how to focus on the things that count. In a series of short chapters, illustrated with examples from his extraordinary career in business, Duncan will show you how to make quicker, better decisions and how to make things happen - fast. Duncan knows more about what can be achieved in a day, a year and a lifetime than most and in this book he shares how you can achieve your ideal work/life balance.

    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.

    Job heading nowhere? Check. Mastermind criminal boss discovering you have unravelled their plot? Check. Talking cat with an addiction to catnip deciding to take control of the situation? Check. Welcome to the lives and adventures of the ginger moggy Ben and his human, Ellie.Ellena Blackwell is your average woman- desperate to make the best of her Degree and failing miserably. Falling into such a hole of self-pity, even her cat, Ben, is sick of her and tells her to snap out of it.And that's when Ellena realises she has a talking cat, and he's not going to go away anytime soon.Having a devious crime boss as Principal to the college she works at, Ellena discovers a dangerous secret that the Head Office would very much rather that she didn't know. Deciding to take control of her life, Ellena enlists the help of Ben to investigate as soon as her friend goes missing.But Detective Calloway is determined to get involved, and Ellena soon learns that Ben isn't the only one who thinks he has nine lives.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

     But even in victory, the legacy of Obadiah Paine is not so easily washed away. His hidden lair yet remains, Dread Fortress Paine yet stands! Within it . . . none can be sure what monstrous acts are waiting to be uncovered or guess the number of Paine loyalists who linger. It falls on the shoulders of ESLED Strike Alpha to answer these questions and to seize Paine's hideout for the Elemental Learning Council. Led by spectromancer Ramses Lamprey, joined by civilian observer Tyson Bonnie, and aided by Council fixer Eva Reti, failure is not an option. This volume is a can't miss for Foul Mouth fans, acting as an action packed epilogue for "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" while priming many plot points for the next main volume and even those well beyond. Dread Fortress Paine must fall! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (forthcoming) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you?While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection.Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around.With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves.Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.

    In this truly fanciful work, author Lesley O’Mara has crafts a kaleidoscope of information which is sure to delight every cat lover. What happened when Charles Dickens discovered that his cat William was really a Williamina? How do you tell if your cat is truly fat? How long did it take one Florida housecat to track down his owners after they had moved to California? Filled with heartwarming tales, historical anecdotes, unique quotes, and so much more, Cats Miscellany is sure to satisfy human curiosity the whole year round. Delightfully illustrated and beautifully designed, this quirky and entertaining book is the perfect gift for pet lovers and “ailurophiles” of any age.