The Ducks In The Bathroom Are Not Mine: A decade of procrastination 2007 - 2017


David Thorne - 2017
     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

Pandemonium


Armando Iannucci - 2021
    It tells the story of how Orbis Rex, Young Matt and his Circle of Friends, Queen Dido and the blind Dom'nic did battle with 'a wet and withered bat' from Wuhan.

Along The Med on a Bike Called Reggie


Andrew P. Sykes - 2014
    and a bike called Reggie. Secondary school teacher Andrew Sykes moves out of the classroom, climbs onto his bicycle and sets off along the route of the EuroVelo 8, from the southern tip of Greece to the Atlantic coast of Portugal.However, this is more than just a cycling tale of border crossings and big hills, as our would-be adventurer perspires his way through a hot and sticky mix of Mediterranean landscapes, life and culture.Join Andrew as he travels Along The Med on a Bike Called Reggie: an inspirational and light-hearted travelogue for cyclists and non-cyclists alike.

The Spy Who Came in from the Bin: A Jonathon Fairfax Novel


Christopher Shevlin - 2020
    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

A Kick at the Pantry Door


Philip Whiteland - 2013
    We have your favourite table ready and waiting and a selection of tasty and unusual dishes for your delectation and delight (but do bear in mind that the kitchen closes shortly as the Chef needs to go to his second job, rodding out blocked sewers). We have a few choice 'nostalgedy' stories for Starters, some meatier ones for your Mains, a selection of 'curmudgeonly rants' or keen observations (you take your choice) for Dessert, and something unspeakable to go with your Coffee and Mints.Philip Whiteland tickles your fancy (it's not a crime yet) once again with this compilation of stories, often with a food-based theme, from today and yesterday. Pull up a chair and tuck in!

Kenneth: A tale of fate, hate, and far too much wine


Keith A. Pearson - 2019
    Who is the mysterious man in the brown suit? What does he want from her? Is there any wine in the fridge?As her life descends into chaos, Kelly’s questions lead her along a twisting path towards the truth — a truth she could never have imagined.

Are My Roots Showing?


Karola Gajda - 2016
     Thirty something Magda, born in England to Polish parents has recently broken up with her rotten boyfriend Matt and needs a fresh start. Quitting her job, she sets off to Warsaw to teach English, While her excited Mama thinks she is off to find a nice Polish husband, Magda simply wants to explore her roots. improve her rusty Polish and see how her parents' homeland has changed. To her horror Magda discovers that Mama and bossy cousin Dagmara have sneakily put her on a dating site. Does Magda stay in Poland? And does she find a Polish husband? And what does she learn about her mama's tragic past? A moving romantic comedy, 'Are My Roots Showing?' is about identity, migration, family, the fleetingness of life and love. Magda learns how history affects the present, and that where there are roots, new shoots can grow. …It’s a charming book which can be read as a light-hearted tale but there is a lot of meaning beneath the surface. As an exploration of how it feels to belong to and reconcile two cultures, it's really successful. It offers humour, sadness and wisdom as well as entertaining read. Just beautiful!… …Although Are My Roots Showing? explores some serious themes, it’s all done with a very light touch and a lot of laugh-out-loud humour. The characterisations are exquisite… …This is a beautiful book, sometimes really funny and sometimes heart-breaking…What readers say about the romantic comedy 'Are My Roots Showing?' ...Fantastic. A Polish Bridget Jones. Funny, and yet the Polish history interjections are interesting too. Makes me want to visit Poland, but I need to take my own food!!! You'll understand once you've read it... …It’s a charming book which can be read as a light-hearted tale but there is a lot of meaning beneath the surface. As an exploration of how it feels to belong to and reconcile two cultures, it's really successful. It offers humour, sadness and wisdom as well as an entertaining read. Just beautiful!… …Although 'Are My Roots Showing?' explores some serious themes, it’s all done with a very light touch and a lot of laugh-out-loud humour. The characterisations are exquisite… …This is a beautiful book, sometimes really funny and sometimes heart-breaking…

Quest for the Holey Snail


Rob Johnson - 2016
    (Can supply own time travel machine if required.)When Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national magazine, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey* Snail.But this isn’t just any old snail. The helix pertusa is possessed of an extraordinary and highly desirable property, and Horace’s quest leads him and his co-adventurers to Ancient Greece and a variety of near-death encounters with beings both mythological and not so mythological.Meanwhile, Detective Chief Inspector Harper Collins has her hands full trying to track down a secret order of fundamentalist monks whom she suspects of committing a series of murders – the same monks who are determined to thwart Horace in his... ...Quest for the Holey Snail. (* This isn’t a spelling mistake. The Holey Snail is so called because there are hundreds of tiny holes all over its shell.)PLEASE NOTE: Quest for the Holey Snail is not part of Rob Johnson’s Lifting the Lid series.

World Killer: A Sci-Fi Action Adventure


Barry J. Hutchison - 2019
    Ten years later, he's finally going to find out why. Ever since he staggered out of the darkness into a crowd of police and press reporters, Daryl Elliot has been afraid of something he has absolutely no memory of. Afraid of whatever happened to him in those two missing weeks. Now sixteen, Daryl has grown up a loner, with few friends, fewer ambitions, and a burning desire to go unnoticed by the rest of the world. All that changes, however, when he begins to manifest telekinetic powers during gym class. Daryl begins to uncover the secrets of his lost two weeks, and just how far from average he truly is. A threat is coming. The biggest threat the Earth has ever faced. Galactic warlord, the World Killer, is bringing his death-planet to our solar system, intending to strip our world bare. And Daryl is one of just three people with the power to stop it. With days to go before the attack, Daryl must learn to work with two super-powered strangers, master his own abilities, and prepare himself to lead the others into battle. But, with a shady government agent hunting them down, a mentor with little regard for human life, and the world's most famous (and arrogant) teenager rounding out the team, it won't just take hard work to get them ready for war. It'll take a miracle. World Killer is a standalone young adult science fiction adventure from Barry J. Hutchison, author of the internationally bestselling Space Team series.

On Call with a Yorkshire Vet


Julian Norton - 2020
    He treats a meerkat with a broken tail from Great Ouseburn, a lame horse next to Almscliffe Crag, a Wagyu in Topcliffe and a Clydesdale horse in York. These and many more adventures are contained within...

Anger Management for Beginners: A Self-Help Course in 70 Lessons


Giles Coren - 2010
    Star of BBC's Supersizers and hugely popular Times columnist's works through his anger about everything from dogs to cycle helmets.

Float Plan


Rob Hiaasen - 2018
    He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.

Secret Diary of an Incurable Romantic (Um...and a closet alcoholic)


Chitrangada Mukherjee - 2018
    Have these knots in my stomach. But drinking isn’t an option. Maa is sleeping with me. Baba in Lalitaji’s room. And she on the sofa. Want to step into the toilet, take one swig, and then go directly to sleep. How the hell will Maa know? I mean she’s sleeping like a log. No, no, shouldn’t. What if she wakes up? She’s a light sleeper, after all.11.30 pm: No wine. Or vodka. Terrible, terrible night. When will they go back to Kolkata and let me be?11.32 pm: Chhi . . .Chhi . . . How selfish am I? My parents, one with a heart condition, spent thousands on flight tickets and landed in Chennai. Why? Because they wanted to spend time with their widowed daughter. And what does the daughter want? To sneak into the toilet and take one good swig of wine. Shame on her! Okay, now I’m being over-dramatic.Meet Madhubala Ray a thirty-year-old brand-spanking-new widow in Chennai.She lives with her seventy-year-old mostly-silent MIL—whose name she can’t remember, teaches Social Science to bratty teenagers, and suddenly has a life filled with unpredictable men, catty colleagues, a bisexual best friend, and . . . heart-wrenching memories of her late husband.How does she deal with all of that?By baring it all, in her diary. Join this oddball-widow who always keeps it real as she gives an honest account of a young North Indian working woman in Chennai, who tries to survive a tragedy through wine and vodka, her quirky sense of humour, and refuses to give up on love. Despite its oddities. The question is: does she survive and find love, again?Secret Diary of an Incurable Romantic is a story that is brutally honest, funny, romantic and liberating. It’s a slice of life, you wouldn’t want to miss.

The Mile


Craig Smith - 2013
    Three friends: a nationalist, a unionist and a couldnae-care-lesser meet for a pub crawl down Edinburgh’s historic Royal Mile. Can Ian convince Euan to vote for independence or is he just gambling with all their futures? Will Euan’s defence of the union break Ian’s resolve, or is he just hanging on to another struggling marriage? Does Stuart even care? And how can a travel writer have a fear of flying? And who is the mysterious ninety-five year old man in the red tartan trousers? The Mile is an entertaining alcohol-fuelled stagger down a street that has a lot more to it than tartan rugs and cashmere shops. Join our friends, their hangers-on, and their pursuers, as they take in 300 years of Scottish history. And a skinful of beer and whisky… REVIEW "This is a much-needed injection of booze-soaked banter and comedy into the independence debate. Assured and heartwarming stuff." Doug Johnstone "A witty comedy with a big heart and surprise waiting at every pub stop, The Mile is a whirlwind of laughs, loss and love. If that isn’t enough to get you reading, then you may never find out how Scotland is like a millionaire’s shortcake … " Karyn Dougan, Glasgow Review of Books

Milicent Le Sueur


Margaret Moseley - 2001
    Millicent Le Sueur is an eccentric, obsessive-compulsive bag lady in a rural Southern town who witnesses the killing of a teenage girl. Or so she claims. Some townsfolk believe she killed the girl and made up the story to cover her crime. Counting, checking, deducing and tracking, she looks for a killer she hopes won’t count her as the next victim.