The Barbershop Seven: A Barney Thomson omnibus


Douglas Lindsay - 2013
    And it's a snip at the price! Fans of Douglas Lindsay's genre-defining barbershop death junky novels will be delighted to know that THE BARBERSHOP SEVEN includes the complete, unabridged text from the following Barney Thomson novels:#1 THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON#2 THE BARBER SURGEON'S HAIRSHIRT#3 MURDERERS ANONYMOUS#4 THE RESURRECTION OF BARNEY THOMSON#5 THE LAST FISH SUPPER#6 THE HAUNTING OF BARNEY THOMSON#7 THE FINAL CUTPraise for the Barney Thomson novels"This chilling black comedy unfolds at dizzying speed... an impressive debut novel." – Sunday Mirror"The plot, Russian literature fans, is a modern spin on Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. The bloody ending, movie buffs, is pure Reservoir Dogs." – The Mirror"This is pitch-black comedy spun from the finest writing. Fantastic plot, unforgettable scenes and plenty of twisted belly laughs." – New Woman"A mad, macabre romp with surreal characters and cutting black humour." – The Sunday Mirror"Gloriously over the top, very bloody and very, very funny." – Daily Telegraph"A novel which is both genuinely silly and a fun read." – The Scotsman"Extremely well-written, highly amusing and completely unpredictable in its outrageous plot twists and turns." – The List"Lindsay’s burlesque thrills offer no sex, no drugs, no desperation to be cool. Just straightforward adult story; fantastic plot, classic timing and gleeful delight in the grotesque. With more talent than Irvine Welsh could dream of, Lindsay has crafted a macabre masterpiece where content lives up to style." – What’s On About the author Douglas Lindsay is the author of the Barney Thomson crime series, which begins with THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON. He is also the author of the thriller, LOST IN JAUREZ, as well as the police procedurals, THE UNBURIED DEAD (Thomas Hutton #1), A PLAGUE OF CROWS (Thomas Hutton #2) and WE ARE THE HANGED MAN (DCI Jericho #1). Douglas lives in Somerset.

Harbour Ways


Valerie Poore - 2014
    This second book tells of the first two years that she owned her own barge, the Vereeniging, and how she converts it from an empty hull into a home. Told with with Valerie's usual tongue-in-cheek humour, Harbour Ways can be read as a stand alone memoir or as the follow on to Watery Ways.

The Adrian Mole Collection: The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole/True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole/Adrian Mole: The Wilderness


Sue Townsend - 2000
    I pushed my sausages away untouched. Charting nearly ten years in the life of Adrian Mole, from his increasingly troubled adolescence and schooling to his first job as newt counter for the DoE, from his parents' marital troubles to his own difficult relationship with Pandora, from the failure of his early poems to the even grander failure of his epic novels, these three novels in one volume provide a hilarious portrait of one young man's coming of age. 'He will be remembered some day as one of England's great diarists. No matter what your troubles may be Adrian Mole is sure to make you feel better' Evening Standard

The Adventures of the Crumpsall Kid: A Memoir


Mike Harding - 2015
    After growing up in an Irish Catholic household, he was sent to a grammar school run by priests, from which he eventually emerged unscathed. A combination of O Levels and rock ’n’ roll led him into the bowels of Manchester’s club land, where he worked alongside strippers and Chinese strongman acts while revising the War of Jenkin’s Ear.Testosterone and guilt struggled for mastery in his lapsing Catholic chest and trousers until testosterone won and, with guilt still on his back like Quasimodo’s hump, he toured the dancehalls of Northern England in a VW panel van, taking rock ’n’ roll to one-horse towns where the horse had bolted.Warm, nostalgic and very funny, Mike Harding’s memoir of his early life in post-war Manchester is as idiosyncratic and engaging as the man himself.

The Glassbreaker Goes Home (The King Henry Tapes)


Richard Raley - 2018
    Nothing else going on. No girlfriend meeting his father for the first time. No recused sister back in his life after having been missing for a decade. No other sister married to a werecoyote gangster with a freshly born grandchild to show off. Especially no vampires. I promise. THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (released) Book 6.5 - "Assault on Dread Fortress Paine" (released) Book 6.75 - "The Glassbreaker Goes Home" (released) Book 7 - "The Foul Mouth and the Runaway Rumble" (forthcoming)

Clapping Chaos (Clovenhoof: The Isolation Chronicles #4)


Heide Goody - 2020
    

Driving Jarvis Ham


Jim Bob - 2012
    Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

101 Dumb Emergency Calls


Stuart Gray - 2013
    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

The Grade Cricketer: Tea and No Sympathy


Ian Higgins - 2017
    It's belly-laughing funny but it's also a hymn to the grand and complex game delivered with a narrative pace and ability I'm afraid most Test players don't have. For anyone who ever dreamed of excelling at a sport but never quite made it but still gave it your life, this is the story. A great read!' Tom Keneally'The Grade Cricketer has taken us so far inside a district club dressing room that you feel like a locker. Ligaments could not be closer to the bone than some of his observations.' Kerry O'Keeffe 'The Grade Cricketer is strange and, I suspect, brilliant'. Wisden

Lust, Lies and Lemon Cakes Too


Steven Morris - 2017
    All he wants is to get his leg-over occasionally with his wife, Helen, and to lose enough weight to be able to see his genitals without having to hold his stomach out of the way. So when Carol (the randy work colleague and fellow food lover) who almost seduced him the night before, turns up at his home and introduces herself to his wife, he begins to wonder whether life is playing a cruel practical joke on him. As Carol seems determined to make his life a misery for turning her down, and he's about to discover something's going horribly wrong in the trouser department too, he could very well be right. If that weren’t enough to have him reaching for the comfort food, he also has to contend with an oversexed son who's using the soapy bathroom sponge for something other than cleaning purposes. Plus a daughter who having just discovered boys has started dating a six foot ginger gorilla with huge bushy sideburns. Not forgetting his neighbour’s cat, a vengeful pigeon, a gang of feral children and a vigilante sausage dog. Lust, Lies and Lemon Drizzle: Eric Baxter's continuing struggle with life, love, and his ever expanding waistline. Sequel to the UK Amazon bestseller: Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes

Stay Away from my ER and other fun bits of wisdom: Wobbling between humor and heartbreak


Rada Jones - 2020
    You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

War: A Four Horsemen Short Story


Dave Turner - 2019
    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

The Fat Chance Guide to Dieting


Claudia Pattison - 2011
    . .Holly, Naomi and Kate are determined to win the battle of the bulge. So it's down to the local slimming club, where carbs are strictly off the menu and there's no escaping the scales. But calorie-counting isn't the only thing on their minds.Newly engaged Holly should be over the moon. So why does she blush every time her sexy boss walks into the room? Curvaceous Naomi finds herself the object of a very unusual fetish and a shocking secret is revealed when an unexpected visitor arrives on Kate's doorstep. Yet with a little group support (and a particularly brutal weight loss boot camp) the women manage to stick to their regime, in time for the glamorous Slimmer of the Year Awards. But with tempting buffet tables, highly competitive contestants and even the odd fat fetishist lurking, it's anyone's guess as to what will happen . . .

Goodknyght!


Steve Barlow - 2001
    But Fate has other, more dangerous plans for him.

The Crinkle Crankle Wall: Our First Year in Andalusia


Sabina Ostrowska - 2020
    As soon as they drive across Andalusia, they fall in love with its rugged beauty, whitewashed villages, red geraniums, giant aloes, and endless olive trees. After weeks of visiting ruins and dilapidated sheds advertised as homes, they find a little stone cottage in a mountain valley in the middle of nowhere. Equipped with everything that a romantic soul desires: a patio shaded by grape vines, an ancient bay leaf tree, and a formidable oak in front of a long driveway, they fall in love with this property and decide to reform it into a guest house. With little foresight or planning, they exchange cushy expats lives for a life in the sun.Quite quickly, however, they find themselves battling cowboy builders, no electricity, a dry well, torrential rain storms, and a freezing cold winter without a roof over their heads. Through all these adventures, they develop relations with their neighbours who had lived in the valley for many generations. Puzzled by the strangers’ behaviour, the neighbours teach them about olive picking, and the cultivation of local vegetables. But primarily, they offer their endless generosity and insight into life in rural Andalusia.As they begin to settle in, financial problems confront our somewhat naïve couple. Without steady pay checks and construction bills piling up, their idea of the good life starts to fall apart. Written with a wry sense of honest humour, this story is filled with twists and turns that take the reader on a journey from a life where every day was monotonously repetitive to a place where every day presents a new challenge.