Book picks similar to
Officer Needs Assistance Again by Don Parker


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Quake


Rudolph Wurlitzer - 1972
    Quake, now in development as a film by Repo Man director Alex Cox, is a deadpan, nihilistic look at how fear unravels people?s emotions, how terror can liberate, and how people manage to survive?even panhandler drifters, Hollywood Cretins, and hippies. A true underground classic.

Munich Playground: The Myth of the Nazi Superman


Ernest R. Pope - 2014
    Many people think of them as "an awe-inspiring group of ascetic, fanatic, and inhuman supermen."Ernest R. Pope knew all too well how illusory this idea was. As senior correspondent for Reuters in Munich from 1936-1941, American Ernest Pope saw the cruel and outrageous behavior of Nazis in their native habitat. In Munich they ran wild, let their hair down, and indulged in every fantasy money and power could avail them. Pope has all the gossip...and the confirmed stories. HISTORY AS IT HAPPENED "I have seen the leading actors in the Nazi tragedy, playing their parts on the Bavarian stage. Long before the climax—the outbreak of the war—I knew what the denouement in Hitler's theater would be."Pope knew, saw, and/or interviewed all the top Nazis and dozens of lower-level officials, including some of Hitler's security. He saw the Nazis for what they were: a corrupt, debauched, all-to-human menace.Once back in the U.S., Pope let loose his frustration and ire at what he'd seen—but couldn't write about when he was reporting from Germany. With great humor and faced-paced prose, he writes of encounters with Hitler, Hess, Streicher, and many more.He was in Munich during the fated compromise with Chamberlain. He reported on the Nazi invasions of Austria and Czechoslovakia.He reported on Hitler's obsession with Dorothy van Bruck's "blitz-tease" and he knew Hitler's English girlfriend, Unity Mitford. AT THE CENTER OF ACTION Pope turns his savage wit and erudition on his former hosts. Fluent in Bavarian German dialect, Pope made many friends in Munich with citizens and officials alike. He heard jokes from Munichers that could get them thrown in a concentration camp and he poked fun at Nazis whenever he dared.On the Austrian border during Hitler's invasion of that country:Guard: “Heil Hitler! What are you doing here?” Pope: “Just enjoying the scenery.” Guard: “Why did you come to Kiefersfelden today?” Pope: “Well, I'll tell you. It's like this. I'm an American student, and I came to Munich when I read the fascinating travel prospectuses which invited me to ‘Visit the beautiful Alps.’ My friend and I have already seen the Alps at Garmisch, so we thought we might look at them today around Kufstein. They really are pretty, in spite of all the uniforms we didn't expect to find here. But I do think it is odd of you to ask me why I am here. For if I were walking in Central Park in New York, I would not expect a policeman to ask me why I wasn't feeding the pigeons in front of the Public Library.”You won't find another account like this of the Nazis in their favorite playground. INCLUDED CHAPTERS: DER FÜHRER AT PLAY MY FRIENDS THE GESTAPO PORTRAIT OF A NAZI GRAFTER HITLER DABBLES IN ART THE ONE-LEGGED BOSS OF BAVARIA CATHOLICISM IN THE NAZI CAPITAL LUNCH WITH JULIUS STREICHER And more Pope turns serious in the final chapters. As he left Germany, he knew he was saying goodbye to friends he would never see again.

LOVING OUR PARENTS


Abdul Malik Mujahid - 2014
    It also has detailed and authentic accounts from both the Noble Qur’an and the Prophet’s Sunnah on our duties and obligations to those who have sacrificed so much to raise and educate us. In addition, it provides clear warnings of the penalties from Allah Almighty in this world and the Hereafter for abusing and disrespecting our parents. This is an essential publication for those who want to know the Divine Injunctions on not only how to treat their mothers and fathers, but also their grandparents, close relatives and elders.

The Onion Presents a Book of Jean's Own!: All New Wit, Wisdom, and Wackiness from the Onion's Beloved Humor Columnist


Jean Teasdale - 2010
    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

The Bad Beekeeper's Club


Bill Turnbull - 2010
    * The hilarious, heartwarming and surprisingly inspiring account of one BBC Breakfast TV presenter's secret passion for bees...!

Bride for the Billionaire Next Door: an instalove short romance Kindle Edition


Kate Tilney - 2021
    But could it lead to more?InesWhen my eccentric rich godmother asks me to housesit her penthouse and look after her pampered pooch, I figure this is the perfect time for me to write one of those steamy romances I always snuck read during boring college courses. After this, it’s time to join the real world, which means a real boring office job.That all changes when I meet the handsome next door neighbor. He makes a proposition better than any plot twist I could write.MilesI need a wife. Not because that Jane Austen chick said it was a truth universally acknowledged that a single man of good fortune blah, blah, blah. But according to my CFO, I do need someone who will dazzle my investors. I tell him to take a hike.That is until I meet the new girl next door. Witty and gorgeous, Ines immediately steals my heart. But how can I make her see my feelings are real? How can I prove I'm better than the heroes in her books?Bride for the Billionaire is a series of short, sweet, and steamy instalove romantic comedies. Check it out if you like alpha billionaires and curvy women who go into marriage for practical reasons but find much more: true love. No cliffhangers, no cheating, HEA guaranteed!

Words You Will Never Read


Jessica Katoff - 2017
    Written as a catharsis in the months following the loss of her father in late 2016, Jessica has taken pen to page to say things he and others will never read, either because they can't, or just won't. Containing entirely new works, this is a can't miss release.

Mine on Christmas


Sarah J. Brooks - 2018
    I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)

Calamity Jayne Boxed Set


Kathleen Bacus - 2011
    Tressa is determined to prove there's more to this cockeyed cowgirl than meets the eye and she’s just been handed the perfect opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to finally take her seriously. How? By solving a murder no one else believes happened...No one, that is, except the killer. CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAINTressa’s off to the State Fair to work at her Uncle Frank’s ice cream concession stand. But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin, Frankie, goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into. With a string of malicious pranks, to scary, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, a dishy state trooper, and a sister who may have her eye on a certain ranger-type, and it's mayhem on the midway time. GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUNTressa thinks she on to a scoop when eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard comes to Grandville to finish her latest book. So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup? Only the fact that the skeletons to uncover in this little exposé are all in a closet in Haunted Holloway Hall--a house only Norman Bates could love.CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGEAce cub reporter Tressa Jayne Turner is back in college and nothing’s going to stop Tressa from making the grade. Well, except for a wrinkled roommate rekindling an old flame, maid of honor madness run amok, a botched betrothal that’s more than just schoolyard gossip and a campus criminal out to teach the student body a lesson—one one crime at a time. Failure is so not an option.CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WESTTressa Jayne Turner’s off to Arizona to see her gammy hitched. Her cousin’s keeping secrets, Ranger Rick Townsend is sending signals—more of the smokin’ than smoke variety—and it seems Tressa’s not the only person with an attachment to “Kookamunga”, the fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand. Throw in a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who’s a chip off a certain ranger’s blockhead and it’ll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise’s southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.ANCHORS AWEIGHTressa Jayne is off on a post-wedding cruise. Good food. Warm beaches. Romantic sunsets. Nothing can take the wind out of Tressa’s sails this time. Nothing that is except this particular Love Boat has Iceberg ahead! written all over it. Why? It’s a lo-cal “biggest loser” cruise, Tressa’s bad-boy faux fiancé and his marriage-minded aunt Mo are stowaways, and Tressa’s barely got her sea les before a dastardly murder plot bobs to the surface and Tressa Jayne knows just how Capt. Jack Sparrow feels when the rum is gone. Yo ho ho and a bottle of V-8!

Secrets We Told The City: Poems


J.R. Rogue - 2017
    Rogue & Kat Savage.

Balls


Andie M. Long - 2016
    But banking business reunites Camille with her old school nemesis, Dylan Ball. His parting shot, a photo of her in tight shorts, had earned her the nickname Camille Toe.Faced with an apologetic Dylan, Cam is torn. She'd tell him to go to Hell, but he does genuinely seem sorry. Plus, he's also matured into one sexy male. It's so unfair.But does Dylan really want to be friends or is it all an act to embarrass her once again?THE BALLS SERIESBallsSnow BallsNew Balls PleaseBalls ForeJingle BallsCurve BallsBirthing BallsBalls Up

The Best of Brain Droppings


George Carlin - 2007
    From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? for instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs.

Zombie Society


K. Bartholomew - 2014
    The following day, millions of zombies who were being imprisoned in camps around the country were released into the general population.This is the story of the Quinn family of Boston, Massachusetts, an ordinary American family as they adjust to their new lives, living among zombies in their schools, hospitals, workplaces – Everywhere.

Stupid 911 Calls (Volume 1)


S. Schell - 2011
    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

This is the Wonder


Tracey Ward - 2014
    We were the blue of the sky. The cold of the ocean floor.I went to Europe to study. To party, to hide, to run away from the endless sea of choices that would mold and shape the rest of my life. I wasn't ready for any of that. Not yet. I wasn't ready to have all the answers.And I definitely wasn't ready for Jax.Handsome, sweet, and sporting the biggest blue eyes I'd ever seen, he swooped into my world and changed everything. Suddenly I wasn't scared of making choices. I wasn't afraid of voicing answers. It was easy because where Jax was concerned, my answer was always "Yes".But I've been quick to find out that loving a military man isn't easy, and while Jax seemed like the answer to everything, he has questions of his own.Doubts about his future. Fears about his past.