The Hell I Carry: An Autobiography


Lucas Derion - 2019
    We are then forced to re-live the moments we have spent decades burying beneath amicable smiles and a false sense of security. This is my story; one shrouded in as much truth as my mind can tolerate. My story may mean nothing to you, but I believe, that if these words were to fall into the right hands, then they could have the potential to change someone’s life, someone’s mind. At a young age I learned what it meant to carry the scorching secrets of a fiery hell. For years I allowed the flames to consume my mind as I proceeded to live a life devoted to destruction and chaos. I blamed my mother. I blamed the men that raped me. I blamed the woman that refused to love me back. But when the smoke cleared, the mirror on the wall only painted a single reflection, that of myself. So, when the big bad wolf no longer blows, yet the house still falls, who will I have to blame then? Only me.

Sickened: The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood


Julie Gregory - 2003
    Just twelve, she’s tall, skinny, and weak. It’s four o’clock, and she hasn’t been allowed to eat anything all day. Her mother, on the other hand, seems curiously excited. She's about to suggest open-heart surgery on her child to "get to the bottom of this." She checks her teeth for lipstick and, as the doctor enters, shoots the girl a warning glance. This child will not ruin her plans.SickenedFrom early childhood, Julie Gregory was continually X-rayed, medicated, and operated on—in the vain pursuit of an illness that was created in her mother’s mind. Munchausen by proxy (MBP) is the world’s most hidden and dangerous form of child abuse, in which the caretaker—almost always the mother—invents or induces symptoms in her child because she craves the attention of medical professionals. Many MBP children die, but Julie Gregory not only survived, she escaped the powerful orbit of her mother's madness and rebuilt her identity as a vibrant, healthy young woman.Sickened is a remarkable memoir that speaks in an original and distinctive Midwestern voice, rising to indelible scenes in prose of scathing beauty and fierce humor. Punctuated with Julie's actual medical records, it re-creates the bizarre cocoon of her family's isolated double-wide trailer, their wild shopping sprees and gun-waving confrontations, the astonishing naïveté of medical professionals and social workers. It also exposes the twisted bonds of terror and love that roped Julie's family together—including the love that made a child willing to sacrifice herself to win her mother's happiness. The realization that the sickness lay in her mother, not in herself, would not come to Julie until adulthood. But when it did, it would strike like lightning. Through her painful metamorphosis, she discovered the courage to save her own life—and, ultimately, the life of the girl her mother had found to replace her. Sickened takes us to new places in the human heart and spirit. It is an unforgettable story, unforgettably told.

Four Meals for Fourpence


Grace Foakes - 2011
    With a child’s uncluttered eye, she describes the small details—shopping in the market, men waiting for work at the dock gates, the rituals of washday, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the old East End of London. She also describes the fear—of illness, of unemployment, of the workhouse—that hung over her family and thousands like them, and her determination that her own children would never know the kind of poverty she had experienced.

I Choose to Live


Sabine Dardenne - 2004
    I need to write this book for three reasons: so that people stop giving me strange looks and treating me like a curiosity; so that no one ever asks me any more questions ever again; and so that the judicial system never again frees a paedophile for 'good behaviour'.' 'The Dutroux Affair' shook the whole of Europe. In the middle of the immense machinery of investigation and justice there was Sabine Dardenne herself, Dutroux's last victim. She was held captive for eighty days - and survived. Far from sensationalising the horror, her story, dignified and restrained, is ultimately uplifting. Says Sabine Dardenne, 'I choose to live'.

The Impossible Long Run: My Journey to Becoming Ultra


Janet Patkowa - 2019
    One day… I wanted to explore the US in an RV. One day… I wanted to backpack in a foreign country. None of these things were happening because it seemed impossible to fit big adventures into a nine-to-five life. Until one day it hit me. One day was not just going to happen. I had to start taking the steps to make it happen and figure out how to fit it in. I got on the internet and searched for something to inspire me. I found the Becoming Ultra project. And thus began my journey to running a 50 mile race.

Escape


Carolyn Jessop - 2007
    Merril Jessop already had three wives. But arranged plural marriages were an integral part of Carolyn’s heritage: She was born into and raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), the radical offshoot of the Mormon Church that had settled in small communities along the Arizona-Utah border. Over the next fifteen years, Carolyn had eight children and withstood her husband’s psychological abuse and the watchful eyes of his other wives who were locked in a constant battle for supremacy.Carolyn’s every move was dictated by her husband’s whims. He decided where she lived and how her children would be treated. He controlled the money she earned as a school teacher. He chose when they had sex; Carolyn could only refuse—at her peril. For in the FLDS, a wife’s compliance with her husband determined how much status both she and her children held in the family. Carolyn was miserable for years and wanted out, but she knew that if she tried to leave and got caught, her children would be taken away from her. No woman in the country had ever escaped from the FLDS and managed to get her children out, too. But in 2003, Carolyn chose freedom over fear and fled her home with her eight children. She had $20 to her name.Escape exposes a world tantamount to a prison camp, created by religious fanatics who, in the name of God, deprive their followers the right to make choices, force women to be totally subservient to men, and brainwash children in church-run schools. Against this background, Carolyn Jessop’s flight takes on an extraordinary, inspiring power. Not only did she manage a daring escape from a brutal environment, she became the first woman ever granted full custody of her children in a contested suit involving the FLDS. And in 2006, her reports to the Utah attorney general on church abuses formed a crucial part of the case that led to the arrest of their notorious leader, Warren Jeffs.

More Than Just Coincidence


Julie Wassmer - 2010
    Little did Julie know how momentous this meeting was set to be. Twenty years earlier, when Julie was just 16, she had become pregnant. Worried how her parents would react, Julie had kept her pregnancy a secret right up until the day she gave birth. Ten days later, she'd been forced to make the hardest decision of her life: to give her baby up for adoption. As the years passed, Julie often wondered what had happened to her daughter. Now, through the most extra-ordinary of coincidences, Julie was about to find out. A temporary secretary called Sara had just started working in the agents' office. Sara had recently discovered that she had been adopted, and had just got hold of her birth certificate. According to the certificate, her mother's name was Julie Wassmer.

Toby and Sox: The heartwarming tale of a little boy with autism and a dog in a million


Vikky Turner - 2016
    Before, I felt like I wanted to die. I couldn't even go to parties. Then Sox came along. It feels like our hearts are connected – I love him so much.” TobyWhen Toby Turner was excluded from school for the third time for hitting and kicking his teachers, his family hit rock bottom. Toby, who has autism, felt so upset by his own aggression, he told his parents they would be better off without him.Terrified, Toby’s mum gave up her job as a nursery nurse to teach him at home while they found a place for him in a special school. Eventually, the only way the family could get Toby out of the house was by giving him headphones, sunglasses and a cap to block out the world.After a difficult few years, the family was thrown a lifeline by the charity Dogs for Good, which introduced Toby to Sox. The adorable three-year-old Labrador Golden Retriever was trained by the charity to help children with autism. Within two weeks, he had turned Toby’s life around. Together, as a family unit, and with Sox by their side, the Turners have learned to enjoy life again.

Scarred: She was a slave to her father. Pain was her only escape.


Sophie Andrews - 2008
    She was her father's slave, in the most horrific ways imaginable. At just a few months old she was adopted by a couple that seemed comfortably well off and perfectly respectable to the outside world. But behind closed doors, Sophie's childhood was a living hell. Her father spent the next decade grooming her for abuse and when Sophie's mother left for good, that very night, he told Sophie that from now on she would sleep in his bed. Unable to cope, Sophie spiraled into suicidal misery. She began to self-harm to try and escape the agony. But one day she went too far and at 16, ended up in a psychiatric unit. It was here that she finally confronted the horrors of home and began the painful journey of rebuilding her life. A phenomenally courageous woman, Sophie now works for the Samaritans and helps other young people in need. Harrowing yet compelling, this is a searing and truly inspirational account of overcoming the worst abuse and self-harm.

Daddy's Little Secret: Pregnant at 14 and There's Only One Man Who Can Be the Father


Tina Davis - 2011
    Aged seven, she has a paranoid schizophrenic for a mother and her father is a distant memory. So when Tina gets a new step-dad, who lavishes sweets and cuddles upon her, she feels wanted for the first time ever.Sadly, her new daddy isn't all that he seems. He begins to sexually abuse Tina, using chilling threats to scare her into silence.Tina is so terrified, she even gives birth to four of her step-father's children without breathing a word. Her world becomes so warped the cruelty she endures seems normal. Until eventually, the tragic death of one of her innocent children makes her see otherwise...This is the inspiring true story of how a frightened little girl grew into a fighter and finally found the strength to escape the man who stole her childhood.

Silent Sisters


Jenny Tomlin - 2006
    They survived in part because of their closeness and their determination to be there for each other. Both sisters left home at the earliest opportunity to escape but before long, Jenny was embroiled in a relationship with an abusive man that kept her locked in a cycle of violence and fear. Their lives followed parallel paths, with first marriage, then kids and always the terror that things would never change. Eventually, with a lot of love, grit and courage they helped each other to climb out of the pit of despair and truly free themselves from the legacy of the past. Every bit as harrowing and inspiring as Behind Closed Doors, this is a story of the power of unstintingly loyal love.

Amelia's Story: A Childhood Lost


D.G. Torrens - 2011
    This is a powerful true story of one young girls struggle to survive the state care system in the 70's and 80's. Amelia has just one wish, to make it to adulthood, to hold her destiny in her own hands. This is a harrowing true story, one of survival and human strength. Amelia has been separated from all her siblings never to see them again for many years, she is moved from one children's home to another, until finally it's just too much for her to bear. Amelia starts to wonder about the peace and finality of her own death.

Ugly


Constance Briscoe - 2006
    Regularly beaten and starved, she tried to get herself taken into care without success and even drank bleach. When she was 13, her mother left her to fend for herself but Constance found the courage to survive and this is her story.

I Will Find You: Solving Killer Cases from My Life Fighting Crime


Joe Kenda - 2017
    Joe Kenda, star of Homicide Hunter, shares his deepest, darkest, and never before revealed case files from his 19 years as a homicide detective.Are you horrified yet fascinated by abhorrent murders? Do you crave to know the gory details of these crimes, and do you seek comfort in the solving of the most gruesome? In I WILL FIND YOU, the star of Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda shares his deepest, darkest, and never-before-revealed case files from his two decades as a homicide detective and reminds us that crimes like these are very real and can happen even in our own backyards. Gruesome, macabre, and complex cases. Joe Kenda investigated 387 murder cases during his 23 years with the Colorado Springs Police Department and solved almost all of them. And he is ready to detail the cases that are too gruesome to air on television, cases that still haunt him, and the few cases where the killer got away. These cases are horrifyingly real, and the detail is so mesmerizing you won't be able to look away. The tales in I WILL FIND YOU will shock you like the best horror stories-divulging insights into the actions, motivations, and proclivities of nature's most dangerous species. Don't mind the blood.

Trafficked


Sophie Hayes - 2012
    At first, it was a typical whirlwind romance. But one day Bledi told her that love always comes at a price ...Bledi tricked Sophie into travelling to Italy, where he forced her to sell her body to help him pay off a debt. Terrified and ashamed, Sophie worked the dangerous Italian streets without rest, seeing as many as 30 clients in a night. She was completely at Bledi′s mercy for food, clothes and shelter. And without money, friends or family, she was trapped.But Sophie found the strength to keep going, clinging to life by a single thread of hope: that somehow she′d find a way to escape.