When Bjorn is in his room, what his co-workers see is him standing by the wall and staring off into space looking dazed, relaxed, and decidedly creepy. Bjorn's bizarre behavior eventually leads his co-workers to try to have him fired, but Bjorn will turn the tables on them with help from his secret room. Debut author Jonas Karlsson doesn't leave a word out of place in this brilliant, bizarre, delightful take on how far we will go--in a world ruled by conformity - to live an individual and examined life.

    A Nashville Film Festival Screenplay Finalist and now recently optioned to be a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE'He promised her the world, just not this one...' Derek, a mysterious old Irish man, who claims to be not of this Earth, kidnaps Sersha, a young, headstrong, Irish foster girl, from the streets of Galway and tries to convince her that her life's destiny is tied to a seemingly random cave in the Scottish Highlands. But with half of the Irish criminal underworld violently on their trail, the kidnapped Sersha, struggles back and forth with the old man's real identity and far-fetched schemes and intentions to whether he truly is genuine in his wild and fantastical beliefs. Or is he just some kind of mad, demented and misguided old fool, having a mental breakdown in his twilight years?

    Smart, dedicated, gorgeous, and, thanks to her last movie before she hung up on Hollywood, rich, she's a pleasure to oblige when she says Rob has to witness this channeler Ariaura's act--on her, not the Eye's, nickel--despite channelers being so last year. It's quite a show, all right, for in the midst of Ariaura's particular ancient wise guy's basso spiel, a gravelly baritone interrupts (both voices emanate from the channeler's female mouth) to berate the audience as "yaps" and the act as "claptrap." Why is Ariaura undermining herself? Or is she? After all, she angrily accuses Rob and Kildy of scheming to destroy her. Could the baritone belong to a genuine channeled spirit? Willis, one of sf's most spirited writers, rounds on the New Age; pays tribute to a great, skeptical journalist; and affectionately parodies pulp fiction at its best in this irresistible entertainment.

    A young girl uses a burnt log for her ventriloquist act; Franz Kafka and an unnamed narrator cruise a dive bar for women; a grieving couple stage and execute their own funeral; a son brings hot chowder to his caged parents. This stunning collection―packed with moments of violence and tenderness―explores the humor and unease of modern life. Since he first began publishing his fiction, Greg Ames has been praised for his willingness to take risks and the strength and freshness of his voice. Assembled here for the first time, this collection brings together the best work from a brilliant American writer, a playful and innovative artist. In these twenty original short stories, Greg Ames earns his place as one of the best writers of his generation.In the tradition of Etgar Keret, Greg Ames’ prose style ties together the absurd hilarity and deep anguish of contemporary life. These wildly inventive stories will appeal to readers who thirst for a unique, deeply humane voice.

    From the outside, Zephyr is just another bland corporate monolith, but behind its glass doors business is far from usual: the beautiful receptionist is paid twice as much as anybody else to do nothing, the sales reps use self help books as manuals, no one has seen the CEO, no one knows exactly what they are selling, and missing donuts are the cause of office intrigue. While Jones originally wanted to climb the corporate ladder, he now finds himself descending deeper into the irrational rationality of company policy. What he finds is hilarious, shocking, and utterly telling.

    Why not?Who cares. She has everything under control.Except she's not sure Will is really dead dead. And Detective Gavin Raines, her vampire-hunting crush, has popped back in her life to investigate an odd string of murders...and maybe finally ask her out on a real date.At least her her teaching job is straightforward. Or rather it was before the world's most perfect teacher joins the staff and seems to be noticing that her vampire traits are, well, a lot more apparent than she'd like them to be.Caught between two worlds and fitting into neither, Jo must risk it all to take her own path--before the next person dead is her. Buy your copy today!

    What he got was a virtual cattle prod to the crotch, in the form of an impossible assignment delivered directly from the president's heroin-addict chief of staff. It seems the Constitution of the United States has some skeletons in its closet: the Founding Fathers doubted that the document would be able to stave off human nature indefinitely, so they devised a backup Constitution to deploy at the first sign of crisis. In the government's eyes, that time is now, as America is overgrown with perverts who spend more time surfing the Web for fetish porn than they do reading a newspaper. They want to use this "Secret Constitution" to drive the country back to a time when civility, God, and mom's homemade apple pie were all that mattered.The only problem is, no one can seem to find it . . .So who better to track it down than a private dick who's so down-and-out that he's coming up the other side, a shamus whose only skill is stumbling into every depraved situation imaginable?With no lead to speak of, and no knowledge of the underground world in which the Constitution has traveled, McGill embarks on a cross-country odyssey of America's darkest, dankest underbelly. Along the way, his white-bread sensibilities are treated to a smorgasbord of depravity that runs the gamut of human imagination. The filth mounts; it is clear that this isn't the kind of life, liberty, or happiness that Thomas Jefferson thought Americans would enjoy in the twenty-first century.But what McGill learns as he closes in on the real Constitution is that freedom takes many forms, the most important of which may be the fight against the "good old days." Like Vonnegut, Orwell, and Huxley before him, Warren Ellis deftly exposes the hypocrisy of the "moral majority" by giving us a glimpse at the monstrous outcome that their overzealous policies would achieve.

     A hardboiled elf is framed for murder in a North Pole world that plays reindeer games for keeps, and where favorite holiday characters live complex lives beyond December. Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three inch 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney. Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forrest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with twelve very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas-and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!

    It includes the following titles: Slimes and Misty Wieners Great Balls on Fire Your Anus is a Gas Giant Clear and Present Ranger The Mimic's Chest Styxian Stoners May Break My Boners If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

     Constanza Delamar lives in a part of Ireland where ancient traditions are viewed with nostalgia, by people who are eager to move beyond them. A personal tragedy changes her life and she finds herself in a remote village where these traditions are still a way of life. When a parish priest suddenly arrives to challenge the village's traditional priest and condemn his Priest Woman; the village is turned against itself. Constanza suddenly finds herself confronting and then defending the most controversial of traditions. The mounting tensions in the village culminate in a devastating event with long-term consequences for all those involved.

    His first case is a young woman found in an urban bayou. He immediately sees clues that lead him places he doesn't want to go. But his own demons may be the clue to solving the mystery of the woman's death. And as the case widens, so do his new partner's suspicions about his past and motivations.

    Half-seen figures who glare from dark towers and dusty windows- silent, foul phantoms who, day by day, night by night, come closer, ever closer. With growing horror, the helpless governess realizes the fiendish creatures want the children, seeking to corrupt their bodies, possess their minds, own their souls... But worse-much worse- the governess discovers that Miles and Flora have no terror of the lurking evil. For they want the walking dead as badly as the dead want them.

    And though the murders are taking place up and down country, there is one other similarity that Inspector Wilkins can't help noticing. Each and every victim is a psychotherapist.

    Since then, she's found some peace as an advocate for POWs, but she knows she'll never love again.Until, on a crowded flight to Washington, DC, she meets Dax, and it happens the way attraction happens best: suddenly, passionately and uncontrollably. Can Keely allow herself a future while still honoring the man from her past?Above and Beyond (Pseudonym Erin St. Claire) When Trevor Rule's best friend Richard is killed in action, Trevor knows his first priority is to take care of Richard's grieving widow, Kyla. All he has to give her is a box filled with the love letters she'd written Richard, a box Trevor has protected with his life. But with each letter he reads, he falls more in love with his best friend's wife.With Richard's death haunting them both, how can Trevor tell Kyla how he feels, and convince her that they both have a right to be happy?"

    D. Salinger. In the mid-1960s, the revered creator of The Catcher in the Rye suddenly stopped publishing and withdrew from public life. In David Morrell’s haunting “The Architecture of Snow,” an author similar to Salinger submits a manuscript after a four-decade absence. Why has he abruptly resurfaced? What caused his long-ago disappearance? When editor Tom Neal embarks on a search to a remote New England town, he uncovers the disturbing truth behind a tragic mystery that changes his life in unimaginable ways.