We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

    Lucky for you, publishing insiders Sam Barry and Kathi Kamen Goldmark have laid out the blueprint for what you want--your book. From transforming an idea into a manuscript to finding an agent to working with an editor to marketing your book, BookPage's Author Enablers are here to assist you every step of the way. And they've brought some backup with original insight from literary superstars like Stephen King, Amy Tan, Rita Mae Brown, and more.It's everything you would ever want--and need--to know about the industry from the inside out.Praise for Write That Book Already! The Tough Love You Need To Get Published Now"This is THE book that every would-be author needs to own. It's full of incredibly practical advice about how to write and sell a book -- finding an agent, writing a proposal, dealing with an editor, boosting sales -- and on top of that, it's also probably the funniest thing every written about how to get published. Write That Book Already! is a gem." -- Scott Turow, author of Presumed Innocent and Innocent"Write That Book Already! is the perfect companion to writer's angst, brimming with wise advice for all scribes, including myself." -- Amy Tan, author of Saving Fish From Drowning

    It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya.The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match—and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law.So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude.

    With this book you will learn how to tap into every Kindle Fire feature, including many of the hidden ones not discussed in other books. From setting up your Kindle Page, managing your music, watching movies, and downloading content - this book covers everything. The task based full-color format allows you to quickly and easily find the exact task you want to accomplish and walks you through it in a delightfully concise and visual manner. My Kindle Fire makes it easy for you to:• Master all the basics, fast: reading, playing, watching, browsing, and more• Tweak your Kindle Fire for quicker access and longer battery life• Sample best-seller book chapters for free• Mark up any eBook with highlights, notes, and bookmarks• Convert your personal documents for use on Kindle Fire• Discover Calibre, a powerful eBook management tool• Control even the largest music libraries• Get instant answers from Wikipedia, and from Kindle Fire’s built-in dictionary• Listen to personalized Internet radio stations created just for you• Use your Kindle Fire as a digital photo frame• Prevent unwanted subscription charges• Set up any email account to work on your Kindle Fire• Explore any web content with Amazon’s innovative Silk browser• Use Amazon Cloud to get your stuff anywhere—even if you left your Kindle at home• And much much more…Unlike many other guides which might only briefly mention or skip over some very import Kindle Fire features My Kindle Fire covers everything. Here are just a few of the things you'll find in My Kindle Fire that aren't covered in other guides: • Full coverage of Calibre, a free application for Mac or PC that helps manage your eBook library• A large number of walkthroughs for managing music playlists, including how to use cloud playlists. • How to reinstall multiple apps at once in case you reset your Kindle Fire. • Step-by-step walkthroughs on configuring all types of email accounts. • Coverage on handling attachments in your email application. • Importing contacts from your existing email application or cloud service and how you can export your contacts in order to back them up. • How to use Copy and Paste on the Kindle Fire. • How to use social networking integration with Facebook and others. • Walkthroughs on using the Gallery app, Pandora, Audible, and other popular apps. • Shows you how to access files on other computers in your house right from your Kindle Fire.

    When your family's in trouble, Nanny 911 is there on the double. Because brats are not born, they're made. No one knows that better than Deborah Carroll and Stella Reid—Nanny Deb and Nanny Stella—the stars of the overnight hit television show on the Fox network. Each week, up to ten million viewers tune in to see the nannies take charge and transform one family's utter chaos into serenity. No matter how loud the tantrums or how clueless the parents, Nanny Deb and Nanny Stella help them become the families they always wanted to be.Now the nannies share their remarkable wisdom with millions of overwhelmed parents desperate for foolproof parenting advice at their fingertips. They'll show that parents need to change their behavior first—because when there are no consequences for naughty behavior, kids quickly realize there's no reason for the naughtiness to stop. And when mom and dad just don't know what to do, the kids take over. You'll learn how to confront problems head-on, with firm but loving discipline, effective communication, and the implementation of clear House Rules.Nanny 911 is the perfect sourcebook for dealing with everyday problems that have escalated to levels that are out of control.For parenting emergencies call 911. Nanny 911, that is.With a Foreword by Head Nanny Lilian Sperling

    Even just one missing link in an otherwise perfect plan can kill your results. The easiest way to avoid these mistakes is to learn from those who have made the mistakes for you, found a way to overcome them, and can take you by the hand to show you the principles you need to follow to guarantee long-term success. Can Anyone Become A Successful Author? I was once a broke valet parker and struggling writer. Through years of study, experimentation, and a lot of mistakes, I eventually cracked the code to becoming a multiple #1 bestselling author. My own experience combined with coaching students from all over the world has revealed the hidden mistakes most authors don't even realize they're making. I hate seeing passionate authors missing out on their chance for success simply because no one took the time to share these insights. I wanted to write the book I wish I had when I first started my journey of self-publishing that would have saved me endless headaches and frustration. What All Authors Must Know This is not strictly a book on marketing strategies, how to write a better book, or a technical guide to self-publishing. Instead, this book gives you what you really need to succeed - the real world principles all successful authors follow. Inside you'll discover... • Why struggling authors sabotage any chance of success before they write a single word… and how to virtually guarantee you’ll have a bestselling book, before you even begin. • Why struggling authors spend countless hours and hundreds of dollars publishing their dream book, only to find it gets lost among all the other self-published “wannabe” books… and how you can make sure your book stands out from the competition. • Why struggling authors can have the best written book on a topic... but still fail to make it a best selling book. • Why struggling authors often never get their book or series finished… and how you hack your motivation and creative inspiration to get your book done fast. • Why struggling authors’ creativity can be what leads to their failure… and how you can combine one simple thing with creativity to give you an edge no one else has. • Why struggling self publishing authors turn off potential readers before they’ve even had a chance to read their book… and how you can utilize simple psychological tactics that practically force browsers to purchase your book. • Why struggling authors can’t create a long-term business… and how you can set things up from the start to ensure you’re thriving off of book sales for years to come. You can either unknowingly make these mistakes and wonder why you're not seeing the results you want as an author, or you can learn from a #1 best selling author and publishing coach saving yourself countless hours and headaches. After getting your copy of "Why Authors Fail," you'll never again have to worry you don't know what it takes to become the successful author you were meant to be. “If failure is not on your author's checklist then this book is a must read! A powerful, business-saving wealth of knowledge for the serious, result driven author.

    Just where do successful writers get their ideas? Author Fred White demystifies the creative process of idea generation by breaking it down into six essential stages: idea recognition, idea incubation, outlining, research, drafting, and revision. In Where Do You Get Your Ideas? you will learn:How to create, organize, and keep a writer's notebook.Where to look for ideas--in daily observations, books, news articles, and magazines--and how to recognize a story when you see one.Techniques for developing ideas into creative works of fiction and non-fiction: free-associating, listing, mapping, and collaging.How to transform a good idea into a great story, novel, or memoir.With practical advice, techniques, and exercises, plus 75 seminal ideas to jump-start your creativity, Where Do You Get Your Ideas? will pull back the curtain on the magic of idea generation and reveal the wealth of writing inspiration right in front of you.

    Let him show you exactly how to craft the copy you need to hook new readers. After writing hundreds of book descriptions for other authors and helping thousands with informative training, Bryan has learned what all the best book synopses have in common. Through easy-to-follow tips and helpful examples in a variety of genres, How to Write a Sizzling Synopsis gives you the tools you need to get a steady stream of online book browsers to click the Buy button every single day. In this book, you’ll discover: How to simplify your plot to create a short, engaging synopsis Why using certain words can make customers fall in love with your story How to shed unnecessary subplots and make writing your blurb a joy instead of a chore The step-by-step system for writing and editing your synopsis for rhythm, momentum, and clarity Why you need a synopsis cliffhanger, and much, much more! Finally, you no longer have to take on the challenge of copywriting alone. With a more intriguing synopsis in place, all your future promotions, ads, and marketing campaigns can perform significantly better. You want more readers to buy your books, and Bryan’s system is a great way to make it a reality. If you like detailed writing guides, plenty of examples, and a touch of humor, then you’ll love Bryan Cohen’s look behind the scenes at how he creates copy that sells. Buy How to Write a Sizzling Synopsis today to get new readers excited to buy your books!

    While he is undoubtedly one of the best-loved and best-known visionaries of American art, photographers also recognize him as a pioneer of technique, a theoretician, and as one of the great teachers of the craft of photography. His zone system has been widely adapted, but Adams unique imagery also relied on his determination and application at every stage of the photographic process; he spent years in his darkroom, as well as out in the open air. For decades, this kind of attention to detail required the kind of equipment, time, and facilities that were out of the reach of most photographers--but now, in the digital age, technology has finally made his techniques accessible. This book will show you what can be learned from Adams working process, and how these lessons can be applied today. The craft of Adams photography is discussed, and the ZONE SYSTEM is related to the digital age. Sections on light, composition, mood, and the darkroom all show what can be achieved today using and understanding his thinking. Michael Frye's own photography provides many stunning examples of the results that can be achieved and, as one of Adams' natural successors in the field, he is well placed to analyze the inspirational shots which open each chapter.

    There's a way of using somewhat fevered, rugose prose to describe both the beauty and horror of the mundane, then switching to a plainer mode when describing the outer limits stuff, that brings to mind King's 80s and 90s work." – io9.com* * *500 WAYS TO TELL A BETTER STORY aims to help you be a stronger writer and a savvier storyteller. You’ll learn how to infuse your narrative with mystery and gain tips on tackling the first chapter or mushy middle of your story. The book answers questions like, “What is transmedia? Why is now the coolest time to be a storyteller? How do I write a fantasy novel? What’s this guy’s fascination with unicorns, pornography, whiskey, and profanity?” And, finally, “Where are my pants? I was wearing pants when I started reading this book.”The book roves giddily between advice that is practical, abstract, and downright satirical. Whether you’re a novelist, screenwriter or game designer, contained within you’ll find an exploration of what it is that we do – and how we do it better.(Warning: Okay, seriously? This book really is NSFW. It features a heaping helping of naughty language. Proceed with filters off.)500 WAYS TO TELL A BETTER STORY contains the following:25 Lies Writers Tell (And Start To Believe)25 Realizations Writers Need To Have25 Reasons I Hate Your Main Character25 Reasons Now Is The Best Time To Be A Storyteller25 Reasons You Should Quit Writing25 Things All Writers Need25 Things I Learned While Writing Blackbirds25 Things I Want To Say To So-Called “Aspiring” Writers25 Things To Know About Writing The First Chapter Of Your Novel25 Things Writers Should Know About Creating Mystery25 Things You Should Know About Creativity25 Things You Should Know About Transmedia Storytelling25 Things You Should Know About Word Choice25 Things You Should Know About Writing Fantasy25 Things You Should Know About Writing Sex25 Things You Should Know About Writing Short Stories25 Ways To Earn Your Audience25 Ways To Fight Your Story’s Mushy Middle25 Ways To Unf-ck Your Story25 Ways To Write Full-Time

    Sometimes a writer needs something with a little more expressive power; a word or phrase that helps the reader visualize the tonal quality or mood of the character doing the talking.For many years, writers have been eagerly awaiting the publication of a resource to help them with this dilemma. Thankfully, that wait is finally over. Now there's a way for any writer, regardless of their experience, to craft dialogue tags that add emotion and vibrancy to their storytelling; all while avoiding tired and worn out cliches.Dahlia Evans has compiled a dialogue thesaurus unlike anything ever published. This unique sourcebook is filled to the brim with words and phrases gathered from hundreds of bestselling novels. Finally, you will be able to open up vistas of endless inspiration and bring your dialogue to life.Inside You'll Discover:# Over 500 dialogue and action tags you can use instead of 'said'.# More than 2900 adverbs that can be used to describe speech.# Thousands of emotion and feeling words in adjective and noun form.# A thousand phrases to describe body language and movement.# Tons of example sentences to help solidify your understanding.# And best of all, words are sorted in alphabetical order, as well as by category.'The Dialogue Thesaurus' is the first book of its kind; a thesaurus geared towards writers who want to frame their dialogue with compelling and expressive words and phrases.

    Employing an accessible, example-rich approach, Wonderbook energizes and motivates while also providing practical, nuts-and-bolts information needed to improve as a writer. Aimed at aspiring and intermediate-level writers, Wonderbook includes helpful sidebars and essays from some of the biggest names in fantasy today, such as George R. R. Martin, Lev Grossman, Neil Gaiman, Michael Moorcock, Catherynne M. Valente, and Karen Joy Fowler, to name a few.Praise for Wonderbook: “Jammed with storytelling wisdom.” —Fast Company’s Co.Create blog“This is the kind of book you leave sitting out for all to see . . . and the kind of book you will find yourself picking up again and again.” —Kirkus Reviews online“If you’re looking for a handy guide to not just crafting imaginative fiction like sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, but to writing in general, be sure to pick up a copy of Steampunk Bible author Jeff Vandermeer’s lovingly compiled Wonderbook."  —Flavorwire“Jeff Vandermeer and Jeremy Zerfoss have created a kaleidoscopically rich and beautiful book about fiction writing.”  —Star Tribune“Because it is so layered and filled with text, tips, and links to online extras, this book can be read again and again by both those who want to learn the craft of writing and those interested in the process of others.” —Library Journal

    You’ve heard of “organic writing,” but that seems a bit squishy to you. Take a look at the wildly popular Snowflake Method—a battle-tested series of ten steps that jump-start your creativity and help you quickly map out your story. All around the world, novelists are using the Snowflake Method right now to ignite their imaginations and get their first drafts down on paper. In this book, you’ll follow the story of a fictitious novelist as she learns to tap into the amazing power of the Snowflake Method. Almost magically, she finds her story growing from a simple idea into a deep and powerful novel. And she finds her novel changing her—turning her into a stronger, more courageous person.Zany, Over the Top, and Just Plain FunHow to Write a Novel Using the Snowflake Method is a “business parable”—a how-to guide written in story form. It’s zany. It’s over the top. It’s just plain fun. Most important, it’s effective, because it shows you, rather than telling you.You’ll learn by example how to grow your story idea into a sizzling first draft. You’ll discover:* How to define your “target audience” the right way, so you know exactly how your ideal readers think and feel. Forget what the experts tell you about “demographics.”* How to create a dynamite selling tool that will instantly tell people whether they’ll love your story or hate it. And you want them to either love it or hate it.* How to get inside the skin of every one of your characters—even your villain. Especially your villain.* How to find a deep, emotively powerful theme for your story. Do you know the one best point in your novel to unveil your theme—when your reader is most eager to hear it?* How to know when to backtrack, and why backtracking is essential to writing great fiction.* How to fire-test each scene to guarantee it’ll be high-impact—before you write it.Excerpt from Chapter 1:Goldilocks had always wanted to write a novel. She learned to read before she went to kindergarten. In grade school, she always had her nose in a book. In junior high, the other kids thought she was weird, because she actually liked reading those dusty old novels in literature class. All through high school, Goldilocks dreamed of writing a book of her own someday.But when she went to college, her parents persuaded her to study something practical. Goldilocks hated practical, and secretly she kept reading novels. But she was a very obedient girl, so she did what her parents told her. She got a very practical degree in marketing. After college, she got a job that bored her to tears—but at least it was practical.Then she got married, and within a few years, she had two children, a girl and then a boy. She quit her job to devote full time to them. As the children grew, Goldilocks took great joy in introducing them to the stories she had loved as a child. When her son went off to kindergarten, Goldilocks thought about looking for a job. But her resume now had a seven-year hole in it, and her practical skills were long out of date. The only jobs Goldilocks could qualify for were minimum wage.She suddenly realized that being practical had made her horribly unhappy. On a whim, Goldilocks decided to do the one thing she had always wanted more than anything else—she was finally going to write a novel.She didn’t care if it was impractical.She didn’t care if nobody would ever read her novel.She was going to do it just because she wanted to.For the first time in years, she was going to do something just for herself.And nobody was going to stop her.

    True Stories. The woods can be tranquil and enchanting, yet there are moments when everything goes quiet and time seems to stop, and the hairs on the back of your neck start to stand up, and you could swear there’s something out there in the trees, just watching you. Suddenly everything goes quiet and that’s when the fear sets in as a strange buzzing seems to fill your ears, and your eyes are searching everywhere for a hidden predator. A powerful, menacing and sinister force is nearby and you can sense the imminent danger. Then it shows itself. And that’s when the panic sets in.... Contents include; The Predator Effect; The Stick Men; Shifters; Something on two legs; Things with Wings; A new Sentient Intelligence. Excerpts; 'Somehow 'something' had got past me without being seen. Then suddenly the quiet was filled with a blood-curdling shriek; it was the most primal of cries I'd ever heard. It seemed human, animal, and spirit; and completely evil. It was hard to pin down; it was ethereal. I tried to shrink to invisibility...' 'She sent a text saying, "Something is wrong here. The woods just went dead silent...its odd." She thought it was possible a panther or coyote was approaching. As her eyes roamed the area, she suddenly noticed a strange visual effect that seemed to be moving...' 'The film showed a mysterious black mass of no definite shape. It was moving. It was crawling fast. It moved with speed, faster than any animal.' 'The entity was blurry and any features could not be clearly seen, as though it were masking its true form.' "At first it was jet black. He said that it was walking in a peculiar way; that it made long exaggerated strides..." 'They said that it seemed to be moving and that it was in one spot one moment and then instantaneously it would appear in a different spot.' "Terrible sounds were coming out of the forest. I couldn't compare them to anything I've heard before." "It took off running, but not like any human or any animal. It ran with its whole body bending and contorting, extremely fast." 'The moon lit up the figure and she could see that it had the shape of a man, at least seven feet tall, but..." PREDATORS IN THE WOODS...True Stories. Stephenyoungauthor@hotmail.com facebook: Steph Young (Author)