P. Kelner, editors of Home Improvement: Undead Edition? Your worst school nightmares—taking that math test you never studied for, finding yourself naked in school assembly, not knowing which door to enter—will pale in comparison to these thirteen original stories that take academic anxiety to whole new realms. In #1 New York Times bestselling author Charlaine Harris’s story, "Playing Possum," Sookie Stackhouse brings enough birthday cupcakes for her nephew's entire class but finds she's one short when the angry ex-boyfriend of the school secretary shows up. When her guardian, Kate Daniels, sends her undercover to a school for exceptional children, teenaged Julie learns an all-new definition of "exceptional," in New York Times bestselling author Ilona Andrews's "Magic Tests." For those who like fangs with their forensics, New York Times bestselling author Nancy Holder offers "VSI," in which FBI agent Claire is tested as never before in a school for Vampire Scene Investigation. And in New York Times bestselling author Thomas Sniegoski's "The Bad Hour," Remy Chandler and his dog Marlowe find evil unleashed in an obedience school. You'll need more than an apple to stave off the creatures in these and nine other stories. Remember your first lesson: resistance is fruitless! Includes stories by: ILONA ANDREWS, AMBER BENSON, RHYS BOWEN, MIKE CAREY, CHARLAINE HARRIS, DONALD HARSTAD, STEVE HOCKENSMITH, NANCY HOLDER, FAITH HUNTER, TONI L.P. KELNER, MARJORIE LIU, JONATHAN MABERRY, THOMAS SNIEGOSKI

    But surviving as a lone child-werewolf was more than he could manage—until Jeremy came along and taught him how to straddle the human-werewolf worlds, gave him a home…and introduced him to the Pack. So begins this volume, featuring three of the members of the American Pack—a hierarchical founding family where bloodlines mean everything and each day presents a new, thrilling, and often deadly challenge. For as Clayton grows from a wild child to a clever teen who tests his beloved mentor at every turn, he must learn not only to control his animal instincts but to navigate Pack politics—including showing his brutal archnemesis, Malcolm, who the real Alpha is…Links to the individual short stories and novellas on Goodreads:"Infusion" (1946) Savage (1967) Ascension (1972)"Kitsunegari" (2007)

    Elrod, Caitlin Kittredge, Marjorie M. Liu, Katie MacAlister, Lilith Saintcrow & Ronda Thompson.What newly married couple doesn't dream of a romantic retreat where they can escape the world for a while — but what happens when supernatural forces intrude on their wedded bliss? Nine of today’s hottest paranormal authors answer that question in this all-star collection of supernatural stories. Can a vampire-hunter enjoy her honeymoon after learning that her new hubby is a werewolf? How can newlyweds focus on their wedding night when their honeymoon suite is haunted by feuding ghosts? And what’s a wizard to do when a gruesome monster kidnaps the bride on her way home from the wedding? With so much otherworldly mayhem awaiting our newlyweds, will they ever get around to the honeymoon itself? Find out in...My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon.Contents:Stalked / Kelley Armstrong --Heorot / Jim Butcher --Roman holiday, or SPQ-arrrrrr / Rachel Caine --Her mother's daughter / P.N. Elrod --Newlydeads / Caitlin Kittredge --Where the heart lives / Marjorie M. Liu --Cat got your tongue? / Katie MacAlister --Half of being married / Lilith Saintcrow --A wulf in groom's clothing / Ronda Thompson.

    In "Seeing Eye" by Patricia Briggs, a blind witch helps sexy werewolf Tom Franklin find his missing brother—and helps him in more ways than either of them ever suspected. And in Jim Butcher's "Last Call," wizard Harry Dresden takes on the darkest of dark powers—the ones who dare to mess with this favorite beer.For anyone who's ever wondered what lies beyond the limits of reality, who's imagined the secret spaces where witches wield fearsome magic, come and drink deep. Let yourself fall under the spell of this bewitching collection of short stories!

     Jeaniene Frost's story, One for the Money, features vampires Cat and Bones trying to protect a spoiled heiress with a price on her head and an undead hitman on her trail. Previously published in Death's Excellent Vacation. Also includes the first three chapters from Jeaniene's story in The Bite Before Christmas anthology, as well as a sneak peek at ONCE BURNED, the first novel in the new Night Prince series. Ilona Andrews' story, A Questionable Client, is a prequel to her award-winning Kate Daniels series. In a world beset by magic waves, Kate Daniels works as a mercenary. She is tired, hungry, and there is foul-smelling blood on her boots. All she wants to do is to go home, but when Mercenary Guild offers her a job she can't refuse, she finds herself protecting a man against Russian wizards. Previously published in Dark and Stormy Knights. Also includes first two chapters of FATE'S EDGE, book 3 in the Edge series, and first two chapters of Magic Grieves, a Kate Daniels novella.

    P. Kelner, this hair-raising holiday collection includes fifteen original tales—including an original Sookie Stackhouse story.The holidays can bring out the beast in anyone- particularly lycanthropes. Charlaine Harris and Toni L. P. Kelner have harvested the scariest, funniest, saddest werewolf tales by an outstanding pack of authors, best read by the light of a full moon with a silver bullet close at hand.Whether wolfing down a holiday feast (use your imagination) or craving some hair of the dog on New Year's morning, the werewolves in these frighteningly original stories will surprise, delight, amuse, and scare the pants off readers who love a little wolfsbane with their mistletoe. Gift Wrap - Charlaine HarrisThe Haire of the Beast - Donna AndrewsLucy, at Christmastime - Simon R. GreenThe Night Things Changed - Dana CameronThe Werewolf Before Christmas - Kat RichardsonFresh Meat - Alan GordonIl Est Né - Carrie VaughnThe Perfect Gift - Dana StabenowChristmas Past - Keri ArthurSA - J. A. KonrathThe Star of David - Patricia BriggsYou'd Better Not Pyout - Nancy PickardRogue Elements - Karen ChanceMilk and Cookies - Rob ThurmanKeeping Watch over His Flock - Toni L. P. Kelner

    Dealer in Dark Things. Spiritual Exterminator. Demon Slayer.Not everyone can take on the things that go bump in the night.Not everyone tries.But Jill Kismet is not just anyone.She's a Hunter, trained by the best - and in over her head.Welcome to the night shift...

    P. Kelner return with an all-new story collection of postcards from the edge of the paranormal world...It really can be an endless summer - if you're immortal. Though a vampire would be ill-advised to take a cruise to Bermuda, the possibilities for getting away from it all - and maybe snacking on some unsuspecting tourist - are many...Sookie Stackhouse and her vampire friend Pam take a weekend getaway to Mississippi in #1 New York Times bestselling author Charlaine Harris's "Two Blondes." And when they end up in a shady gentleman's club, to escape in one piece they need to do something that wasn't on their itinerary - something involving a stage, a pole, and very little clothing.New York Times bestselling author Katie MacAlister's "The Perils of Effrijim" follow a demon whose vacation in Paris is disrupted when he's banished to another plane, thus kicking off a crazy dimension-hopping road trip across Europe.Protecting an heiress from supernatural hit men isn't Cat and Bones's idea of a relaxing vacation in New York Times bestselling author Jeaniene Frost's "One for the Money," but it could get worse. And it does - when Cat's mother shows up.With ten more original tales, editors Harris and Kelner bring together a stellar collection of tour guides who offer vacations frightening, funny, and touching - for the fanged, the furry, the demonic, and the grotesque.

     Suspenseful, surprising, sometimes dark, sometimes humorous-these all-new stories will ensure that readers never think of vampires (or birthdays) in quite the same way again. In New York Times bestselling author Charlaine Harris's "Dracula Night," Sookie Stackhouse is the only human at the annual commemoration of Dracula's birth. But this year, the Prince of Darkness actually shows up-and finds Sookie to be a tasty-looking present. New York Times bestselling author Jim Butcher's crime-solving wizard Harry Dresden, of the Dresden Files novels, heads to a role-playing party to give his vampire brother a birthday present in "It's My Birthday Too," only to discover there are some bloodthirsty party crashers who don't share their brotherly love. In "Twilight," Cassandra DuCharme, who appeared in New York Times bestselling author Kelley Armstrong's Dime Store Magic, knows she has to kill to live as a vampire another year-but finds herself disturbingly disinterested in the hunt. Plus ten more bloody good birthday stories that take the cake.Contents xi • Preface: A Few Words (Many Bloody Returns) • (2007) • essay by Charlaine Harris and Toni L. P. Kelner1 • Dracula Night • [Sookie Stackhouse 4.3] • shortstory by Charlaine Harris21 • The Mournful Cry of Owls • novelette by Christopher Golden50 • I Was a Teenage Vampire • novelette by Bill Crider73 • Twilight • [Women of the Otherworld Short Fiction 7.2] • novelette by Kelley Armstrong100 • It's My Birthday, Too • [The Dresden Files 9.2] • novella by Jim Butcher146 • Grave-Robbed • [Vampire Files] • novelette by P. N. Elrod176 • The First Day of the Rest of Your Life • [The Morganville Vampires: Extras 2.5] • novelette by Rachel Caine201 • The Witch and the Wicked • novelette by Jeanne C. Stein230 • Blood Wrapped • [Henry Fitzroy] • novelette by Tanya Huff254 • The Wish • shortstory by Carolyn Haines265 • Fire Ice and Linguini for Two • [Garnet Lacey 2.5] • novelette by Lyda Morehouse [as by Tate Hallaway ]290 • Vampire Hours • novelette by Elaine Viets318 • How Stella Got Her Grave Back • novelette by Toni L. P. Kelner

    But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed.Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead. With the help of a few loyal friends-a sexy mage, a powerful werewolf, and a psychic cop-Celia does her best to stay alive. On the run from her enemies, Celia must try to discover who is behind her transformation . . . before it's too late.

    Both Vladlena and Nathan are hiding something, but they can't conceal the lust that simmers between them...Darkness Eternal by Alexandra Ivy: After being held captive by one vampire for four centuries, Kata had no intention of taking another one to the underworld with her. Yet even in the pits of hell, there's no ignoring the intoxicating desire awakened by his touch...Kane by Jacquelyn Frank: Kane knows Corrine was meant to be his . . . just as he knows that truly possessing the lovely human is forbidden. But on the night of the Samhain moon, the beast in every demon in stronger than reason, and Kane's hunger is more powerful than any punishment...Dragon on Top by G.A. Aiken: Escorting the highborn Bram through deadly Sand Dragon territory will try Ghleanna's patience...and her resolve. Bram is determined to enhance the journey with a seduction no female could resist...

    But elemental mastery over fire sets her apart from others of her night-prowling breed . . . and may be all that prevents her doom.The foe she now faces is human: the vampire hunter called Danaus, who has already destroyed so many undead. For Mira, the time has come to hunt . . . or be hunted.

    Breene will take you on a magical joy ride you won't soon forget. Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options.So dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old as sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day.Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case.Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire. But without any other jobs coming up, I'm stuck. As I uncover a web of lies and treachery, revealing an enemy I didn't know existed, the truth of my identity is threatened. I might make it out alive, only to end up in a gilded cage.

    Welcome to Nocturne City, where werewolves, black magicians, and witches prowl the streets at night…Among them is Luna Wilder, a tough-as-nails police officer whose job is to keep the peace. As an Insoli werewolf, Luna travels without a pack and must rely on instinct alone. And she's just been assigned to find the ruthless killer behind a string of ritualistic murders—a killer with ties to an escaped demon found only in legend…until now.But when she investigates prime suspect Dmitri Sandovsky, she can't resist his wolfish charms. Pack leader of a dangerous clan of Redbacks, Dimitri sends her animal instincts into overdrive and threatens her fiercely-guarded independence. But Luna and Dimiri will need to rely on each other as they're plunged into an ancient demon underworld and pitted against an expert black magician with the power to enslave them for eternity…

    Her new late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged is a raging success, but it's Kitty who can use some help. With one sexy werewolf-hunter and a few homicidal undead on her tail, Kitty may have bitten off more than she can chew!