It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses. It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet: surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands. Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways.How, you might ask, is it possible that I, the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme, could be reduced to human form? And how is it possible that the Lord of darkness could be forced to attend school and befriend such pitiful life forms?Only by reading my tale will you learn the truth behind the cataclysmic defeat that left me stranded on this accursed planet, Earth. But make no mistake, revenge will be mine... as soon as I finish my homework. Mwah, hah, ha!Yours insincerely,Dirk Lloyd(aka the Dark Lord)

    When he brings in the head of the vicar's expensive Koi carp, Anna's Dad is so cross he locks the new cat out of the cat-flap. Tom argues for the cat to be let back in, but the flap is left shut overnight and now the cat has disappeared altogether.

    And in both places, no matter how hard she tries, her family still treats her like a little kid. Then there's school, where friendships old and new are starting to feel more and more out of her hands.Thankfully, she has books-and writing. And now the stories she makes up in her head just might save her when everything else around her—friendships, school, family—is falling apart.

    It is beautiful and it is comic. It is philosophical and it is cheery. What we suppose we are trying fumblingly to say is, in a word, that it is Thurber.There are only a few reasons why everybody has always wanted to read this kind of story: if you have always wanted to love a Princess; if you always wanted to be a Prince; if you always wanted the wicked Duke to be punished; or if you always wanted to live happily ever after. Too little of this kind of thing is going on in the world today. But all of it is going on valorously in The 13 Clocks.

    But soon the members decide to play practical jokes on the first-place winners they envy, and things begin to spin dangerously out of control."This is a provocative novel . . . The plot is ingeniously simple and the course of events compelling. Brisk enough to snag a popular audience, but forceful in impact, it will leave readers thinking." (Booklist, starred review)

    For these arctic friends, every day is a new adventure!

    But when the other schools and town facil-ities ask for recycling barrels too, their businesstakes off. They earn much more than pocket change.And the funny thing is, nobody but the janitors knowthe recycling barrels are owned by the two young en-trepreneurs. The money rolls in…but trouble follows.The principal suspects they’re up to something. Theeighth grade bully tries to capitalize on their new-found wealth. And the competition, the town’s largestrecycling contractor—tries to put them out of business.Their real trouble begins though, when the principal,superintendent of schools, and mayor learn the recyclingbarrels are owned by two middle school students. Theythink they’ve been misled; a suspension hearing ensues.Everything Kirk and Tommy have worked so hard for isin jeopardy. They’re on the brink of loosing it all—but ifthey can survive the ordeal, they just might become…Middle School Millionaires.

    Peter thinks the only way he can reclaim his room is by declaring war on his grandfather."Captures the anger and frustration that accompanies a child's inability to control his life."-- "School Library Journal."Dorothy Canfield Fisher Award, William Allen White Award, Tennessee Children's Choice Book Award, Parents' Choice Award, An IRA-CBC Children's Choice, Mark Twain Award, Young Hoosier Award, South Carolina Children's Book Award, Pacific Northwest Library Association Young Reader's Choice Award, Georgia Children's Book Award.

    I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years.2. It is on my nose3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.4. In fourteen days the summer hols will be over and then it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberfuhrer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic teachers.5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home.6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.In this wildly funny journal of a year in the life of Georgia Nicolson, British author Louise Rennison has perfectly captured the soaring joys and bottomless angst of being a teenager. In the spirit of Bridget Jones's Diary, this fresh, irreverent, and simply hilarious book will leave you laughing out loud. As Georgia would say, it's "Fabbity fab fab!"

    Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.

    But things do not turn out as they had expected. The sole survivors of a terrible shipwreck, they wash ashore to learn that the danger has only begun. Their new world will test their courage, cleverness, endurance, and faith as they struggle to survive and create a civilization of their own in the wilderness. Note: This Townsend Library classic has been carefully edited to be more accessible to today's students. It includes a brief author's biography and an afterword that provides important context about the work.

    Mama tells me I'm gifted and talented. But I know the truth. I'm just a nerd.Kids call me Con-nerd - half Connor and all nerd.I'm supposed to become a doctor but i have this deep, dark secret:  I want to be a cartoonist.And all of a sudden my mega-cool comics are getting noticed at school - I might even get into a special art class . That would sure impress this girl I'm keen on . . . and it might just be my chance to show the world my true destiny. But I'm not sure Mama will see it quite that way . . . Full of the signature laugh-out-loud humour seen in his fabulously funny Thai-riffic!, OLIVER PHOMMAVANH has produced yet another totally engaging and hilarious story about finding your own special talents and having the confidence to use them.

    Not only is he an orphan with an unfortunate nose, but he also has narcolepsy, a condition that gives him terrible nightmares and makes him fall asleep at the worst possible moments. Now he's being sent to a new orphanage, where he will encounter vicious bullies, selfish adults, strange circumstances – and a mystery that could change his life forever. Luckily, he does have one thing in his favor: He's a a genius.On his quest to solve the mystery, Nicholas finds enemies around every corner, but also friends in unexpected places – and discovers along the way that the greatest puzzle of all is himself.

    Can Mafalda find a way through a seemingly dark future and still go to school, play soccer and look after her beloved cat? With the help of her family, and her friends, Mafalda needs to discover the things that will be important to her when her sight has failed.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.