Alarms and Diversions


James Thurber - 1957
    Thurber," "Get Thee to a Monastery" and "The Moribundant Life, or Grow Old Along with Whom?""His writings will be a document of the age they belong to." --T.S. Eliot

Birnbaum's 2016 Walt Disney World: The Official Guide


Birnbaum Guides - 2015
    This updated edition of Birnbaum's Walt Disney World Resort takes readers through Disney's biggest resort with ease and flair and includes the most accurate, current information on prices and attractions. What's new in 2016:• The brand-new Frozen attraction, scheduled to burst onto the Epcot scene in 2016,whisks guests on a chilly trip to meet Anna, Elsa, and Olaf. • Our coverage of Disney's Hollywood Studios includes the inside scoop on plans for new Star Wars-themed additions and other shows and attractions.• Experience new shows and attractions, including the Magic Kingdom's popular new parades:Festival of Fantasy and Move It! Shake it! Dance and Play It!• Fastpass+is Walt Disney World's advance reservation system for theme park shows and attractions. We offer tips and strategies for making the most of this free service.• Downtown Disney has morphed into Disney Springs, a bustling waterside enclave teeming with new dining, shopping, and recreational activities. • Our newly-expanded dining chapter details each and every restaurant, and includes menu updates, a "best of wow restaurant roundup", and specialized indexes.• The 2016 Guide has more photos than ever, including brand-new photo hunts for each of the World's four theme parks. Can you find them all?• Baffled by WDW's magic band? Don't be! We give the scoop on maximizing the potential of the band.• A wave of new entertainment has hit World Showcase: we'll tell you where to see new acts featuring lumberjacks, Celtic folk musicians, and flag wavers.• Disney's Polynesian Village resort has been renewed and revitalized, thanks Disney Vacation Club. • Checkout our bonus chapter featuring "Land and Sea vacation" planning advice, perfect for pairing a Disney Cruise with a visit to Walt Disney World.

Farts: A Spotter's Guide:


Crai S. Bower - 2008
    Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!

Once Bitten


Nick Marsh - 2016
    Of course, no plan survives contact with the enemy, and Alan soon discovers he has far more enemies than he was expecting – aside from vicious pets, difficult owners, surly farmers, and children from hell, he finds himself working with an unhinged and jealous surgeon who makes it his personal mission ruin Alan's life. Battling long hours, life and death decisions, tragic cases, a complaint from the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons and an unexpected love triangle, Alan’s hopes of saving the world are quickly replaced with a simple question: Can he even last a year in practice? Once Bitten… is the story of a young vet’s first few months in practice, and how they changed his life forever.

It Wasn't Always Easy, but I Sure Had Fun


Lewis Grizzard - 1994
    But reading his comments is like having a chat with an old friend, with intervals of belly laughs."--The Richmond-Times DispatchLewis Grizzard is not the only one who had fun. Over the course of seventeen books and countless columns, this feisty son of the South established himself as one of the most entertaining raconteurs--and provocateurs--across the nation. Whether he's trying to make you laugh, make you mad, or make you misty, his mixture of opinionated humor and down-home philosophizing is impossible to resist. Now this definitive collection brings together the cream of Grizzard's comic crop."STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART."--The Indianapolis Star"VERY MOVING, VERY FUNNY."--Headland Observer"RECOMMENDED."--Library Journal

The Dolce Diet: Living Lean


Mike Dolce - 2011
    It's about learning to eat properly for your health." -Vitor Belfort, UFC two-time world champion"Mike Dolce's the best in the business."-Chael Sonnen, UFC world title contender"Mike Dolce's knowledge of nutrition and strength & conditioning has led him to be one of the most highly sought-after coaches in the sport." -Joshua Carey, Bleacher Report"You can learn a lot from this man right here." -Ariel Helwani, AOL's MMAFighting.comABOUT THE DOLCE DIET: LIVING LEANCalled "the patron saint of weight cutting," Mike Dolce has coordinated the high-profile weight loss for many of the world's top athletes, including...* Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, UFC / Pride FC world champion* Vitor "The Phenom" Belfort, UFC two-time world champion* Thiago "Pitbull" Alves, UFC world title contender* Chael Sonnen WEC / UFC world title contender* Gray "Bully" Maynard, UFC world title contender* Nate "Rock" Quarry, UFC world title contender* Mike "Quicksand" Pyle, WEC world champion* Jay "Thorobred" Hieron, IFL world championAs well as fan favorites...* Michael "The Count" Bisping, The Ultimate Fighter 3 winner* Jake "Juggernaut" Ellenberger, UFC veteran* Ed "Shortfuse" Herman, The Ultimate Fighter 3 runner-up* Chris "The Crippler" Leben, UFC veteran* Duane "BANG" Ludwig, UFC & K-1 veteranand many more!For the first time in print, Mike Dolce shares the same the principles, recipes, and strength-training workouts he uses in MMA's elite fight camps and how they can be used by YOU!INSIDE you will learn:* Recipes used in MMA's top fight camps with gluten-free & vegan options* Easy to follow sample meal plans with gluten-free & vegan options* Strength & Conditioning exercises with instructions & photos* Workout plans used by today's top athletesWHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THE DOLCE DIETThe Dolce Diet, three words about Living Lean: 1. Simple 2. Inspirational 3. Effective. Thank you, Mike Dolce! You've made staying in shape easy! ~STEWART M. The Dolce Diet, Love it! My Little-Boy-2-B has been on it for 5.5 months! This diet is truly amazing for moms pre & post baby! Yes, The DolceDiet is prego friendly! Plenty of the RIGHT kind of food that tastes great! ~THE H2H WAITRESSStarted two weeks ago. Lost 13 pounds so far. Yea! Love the recipes! So do my kids! Thank you! ~DAWN H.Body fat down 4% in 2 months?! Yessss! #LIVING LEAN ~MOLLY C.The Dolce Diet, started 410, down 50 lbs. so far. ~ JOSH W.The Dolce Diet, 13 lbs. lost in 4 weeks! People are asking what I'm doing...Telling them LIVING LEAN! ~MIKE S.Real talk! The Dolce Diet is the Einstein, da Vinci and Jesus of losing weight all wrapped up in one...gluten free wrap that is. ~MIKEY F.Another 5 (lbs. lost) on The Dolce Diet. 25 pounds down in 2 weeks, 100 to go! #LivingLean! ~JOHN P.

Half Empty


David Rakoff - 2010
     In this deeply funny (and, no kidding, wise and poignant) book, Rakoff examines the realities of our sunny,  gosh­ everyone-can-be-a-star contemporary culture and finds that, pretty much as a universal rule, the best is not yet to come, adversity will triumph, justice will not be served, and your dreams won’t come true. The book ranges from the personal to the universal, combining stories from Rakoff’s reporting and accounts of his own experi­ences: the moment when being a tiny child no longer meant adults found him charming but instead meant other children found him a fun target; the perfect late evening in Manhattan when he was young and the city seemed to brim with such pos­sibility that the street shimmered in the moonlight—as he drew closer he realized the streets actually flickered with rats in a feeding frenzy. He also weaves in his usual brand Oscar Wilde–worthy cultural criticism (the tragedy of Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, for instance). Whether he’s lacerating the musical Rent for its cutesy depic­tion of AIDS or dealing with personal tragedy, his sharp obser­vations and humorist’s flair for the absurd will have you positively reveling in the power of negativity.

Savage Chickens: A Survival Kit for Life in the Coop


Doug Savage - 2011
    I never miss a meal."-Dan Piraro, cartoonist of Bizarro We've all been forced to endure jobs we don't like. We get up, go to work, go to bed, and do it again. No one knows these pains better than Doug Savage, whose dream of being a cartoonist was eclipsed by his ho- hum office job. That is, until he started doodling chicken cartoons on Post-its and turned them into one of the Internet's most popular cartoon blogs. "Savage Chickens" is a collection of cartoons starring Doug's beloved chickens and their officemates that will get a laugh out of even the most jaded number-crunching colleague. Doug blends cynicism, optimism, and interactive activities to create a portable pep talk for the overworked and underappreciated that will keep you sane-and amused- during the morning bus ride, the meeting-filled Monday, the tenth load of laundry, the bathroom break, or the red-eye to the coast.Watch a Video

How I Became a Famous Novelist


Steve Hely - 2009
    This is the story of how he succeeds in getting it all, and what it costs him in the end.Narrated by an unlikely literary legend, How I Became A Famous Novelist pinballs from the post-college slums of Boston, to the fear-drenched halls of Manhattan's publishing houses, from the gloomy purity of Montana’s foremost writing workshop to the hedonistic hotel bars of the Sunset Strip. The horrifying, hilarious tale of how Pete’s “pile of garbage” called The Tornado Ashes Club became the most talked about, blogged about, read, admired, and reviled novel in America will change everything you think you know about literature, appearance, truth, beauty, and those people out there, somewhere in America, who still care about books.

Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

Selp-Helf


Miranda Sings - 2015
    As a bumbling, ironically talentless, self-absorbed personality (a young Gilda Radner, if you will), she offers up a vlog of helpful advice every week on her widely popular YouTube channel. For the first time ever, Miranda is putting her advice to paper in this easy-to-follow guide, illustrated by Miranda herself. In it, you’ll find instructions on everything: how to get a boyfriend (wear all black and carry a fishing net), to dressing for a date (sequins and an orange tutu), to performing magic (“Magic is Lying”), and much, much more! Miranda-isms abound in these self-declared lifesaving pages, and if you don’t like it…well, as Miranda would say…“Haters, back off!”

Uncle Dysfunctional


A.A. Gill - 2017
    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.

All the Hits So Far But Don't Expect Too Much: Poetry, Prose & Other Sundry Items [With 14-Track CD]


Bradley Hathaway - 2005
    The commentary will contain background on the poems or more deeply delve into themes or topics discussed in the poems themselves. The spiritual seeker as well as the mature in faith will both benefit from the poems.

Paperweight


Stephen Fry - 1992
    It includes selected wireless essays of Donald Trefusis, the ageing professor of philology brought to life in Fry's novel The Liar, and the best of Fry's weekly column for the Daily Telegraph.Perfect to dip into but just as enjoyable to read cover to cover, this book, perhaps more than any other, shows the breadth of Fry's interests and the depth of his insight. He remains a hilarious writer on whatever topic he puts his mind to.

Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?


Alan Parks - 2017
    In fact, each setback they experience just seems to immerse them deeper into a life they have totally fallen in love with. 'Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?' is the latest installment of their adventures as they continue to seize the day, living off-grid and loving every minute.