The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    

    We were inundated with thousands of disgusterous entries! To discover our winners, we waded through burps, farts and rotten eggs; bogies, vile stew and goo to find the funniest and most revolting specimens. This eBook contains the crème de la phlegm-hand picked by children's author, songwriter and McFly frontman, Tom Fletcher, and Wales's Children's Poet Laureate, Anni Llyn.A huge thank you to our revolting partners Puffin Books, the National Literacy Trust, Literature Wales, Magic Light, and the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre for all their help and support!

    As a player, Kammy trawled football's outposts with the likes of Bradford City, Stoke City and Portsmouth where he suffered the slings, arrows and hurled bananas of racial abuse. Later, during the autumn of his career, he played in Howard Wilkinson's swashbuckling Leeds team where he rubbed shoulders with the likes of Eric Cantona and Lee Chapman.On hanging up his boots, he moved into the dugouts at Bradford and Sunderland as manager before joining the Sky football revolution as roving reporter on Soccer Saturday and Goal On Sunday's eagle-eyed analyst, amassing a raft of catchphrases along the way.Mr Unbelievable is a hugely entertaining, moving, shocking and laugh out loud funny story of a genuine cult hero.

    Everywhere around him, adults were behaving badly. His parents’ relationship was in freefall so he tried not to spend too much time at home. But outside, there was industrial unrest, football violence, racism and police brutality. As for the music, it was all ‘Save All Your Grandma’s Kisses For My Love Sweet Jesus’. It made him feel physically sick. Then The Jam appeared.This is Ian’s story of that time. Of weekend jobs so that he could go to gigs. Of bunking into the Hammersmith Odeon and ending up on the roof. Of going to see The Jam in Paris and somehow finding himself being interviewed for Melody Maker. Of attempting to keep out of the way of skinheads and trying (and failing) to work out how to talk to girls. And of devastation when in 1982 Paul Weller announced that the band were splitting up. There will never be another band like The Jam. For those who went on that journey with them, the love ran deep. And still does. They helped Ian and thousands like him to grow up – to be someone.

    Darth Vader's parenting skills are tested as young Luke and Leia won't go to sleep. Can he calm them by reading a story featuring, Han Solo, Yoda, Boba Fett, and others as they each settle down for the night?

    . . nothing was as it seemed!What if Sleeping Beauty were actually a frog princess, doomed to be Weeping Beauty forever? What if the Three Chickens had to outwit Goldifox? What if Cinder-Elephant lost her glass plate slipper? Then you'd have this hilarious collection of twisted fairy tales from the master of the absurd, Gregory Maguire!

    But it is for his writing for children that he is best remembered.This book is a selection of the best of his stories and the most fascinating of his characters: Goopy and Bagha, dedicated but unsuccessful musicians who are cast out of their homes because their music drives their families and neighbours crazy; Tuntuni, the little bird; the clever fox; Majantali Sarkar, the cat; the intrepid Granny Hunchback; and many others.Swagata Deb’s vibrant translation brings Upendrakishore’s unique magic to a wider audience.

    There's food in there, but then what? It'll have to be cooked... or at least peeled. Probably both. It's enough to scare even the foolhardy, but then so is a diet of macaroni and cheese. And you can't afford to keep ordering pizza. Aaarghh!Relax! You're not alone. Author Evelyn Raab (mom to two teenage sons) understands that the kitchen is alien territory, and she is going to teach you everything you need to know to produce something deliciously edible out of actual ingredients -- in other words, cook -- and live to tell the tale.Incredibly thorough, never condescending, and with a dash of humor, Clueless in the Kitchen leads culinary neophytes through the entire range of kitchen experience -- from cleaning a stove and outfitting a first kitchen (cheaply), to unplugging a drain and identifying that stuff in the bulk-food bins. Two hundred easy-to-follow recipes show how to make all kinds of simple and scrumptious dishes for every meal and occasion, beginning with "Breakfast: A Cruel Joke" and ending with Snacks and Munchies." There's even a chapter devoted exclusively to the "Vehemently Vegetarian."And there's more! Each recipe is coded with an icon symbolizing vegetarian meals, cheap eats, couch potato, mom, or family food, food to impress, and snacks and munchies. And useful menu planners will help you tailor the perfect meal to every guest, whether that guest is your shallow but fun boy/girlfriend, your aunt Gladys, or (gasp!) your entire family.Whether you're living on your own for the very first time or you're just on your own for dinner, Clueless in the Kitchen will be the first and -- hopefully -- only guide you will ever need. You may never eat macaroni and cheese again!

    This book describes the 1994-5 season at Charlton Athletic but it could be any in which he reveals the ups and downs of what it is like to be an ordinary professional player.There are the injuries, the battles for selection, and the worries that age is catching up on him, which would mean the end of his career. But there are also the occasional triumphs, such as when he was appointed captain and scored the winning goal in a televised match.Written with wit, intelligence and insight, Left Foot Forward reveals far more about what it is really like to be a footballer than any number of ghosted autobiographies by the big stars. It is destined to become a classic of football writing.

    But one day, Urgum returns home to find that not only has his wife redecorated his cave and installed a bathroom, but produced a ten-year-old daughter.

    Despairing from the relentless teasing Crocky enlists the help of a local witch doctor who has an ingenious plan to deal with the monkey menace.A disgustingly funny story, Snotty Crocky is both hilarious and simple in its execution of a tale about standing up to bullies.A combination of read-along-verse by Papa G (Pedro The Ugliest Dog In The World) and illustrations by Carlos Patino which perfectly capture the humour of the story, Snotty Crocky is an excellent picture book for children to read along with their parents.

    The star is Virgo - a young Zodiac goddess on a mission. But the pair accidentally release Thanatos, a wicked death daemon imprisoned beneath Stonehenge, and must then turn to the old Olympian gods for help. After centuries of cushy retirement on earth, are Zeus and his crew up to the task of saving the world - and solving Elliot's problems too?

    But when two faces from his old gang turn up, he finds himself getting involved in a new scam, and soon he is embroiled in a world he wants to escape and is forced to confront a man who is dangerously unhinged.

    Many of the events in his life, and the characters whom he knew, are described in his books: this is the story of the man who wrote them.