All At Sea: One man. One bathtub. One very bad idea.
Tim FitzHigham - 2009
The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.
Invisible Child
Mary Hayward - 2010
This compelling story is a tribute to all those brave women who believe in “yes we can”. Mary’s life was always a miracle of survival. It is a tale of courage and responsibility, as she battles to keep herself and baby sister from starvation and TB, sometimes with fun and laughter, and at other times so desperate that we are drawn to tears. But when her best friend steals a rifle, we listen to her heartbreaking plea to the Samaritans as her life is crushed. It is a story of heartbreak and passion, a blinding love so certain that it comes but once in a lifetime. She finds her freedom to study at university, and doing what she does best, saving damaged children like herself.
Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms
Mike Cyra - 2015
Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead flashlight on a psychiatric ward, Cyra’s comedic style of storytelling will make your cheeks sore. Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms shows why most health care professionals have such a twisted sense of humor and how critical laughter is to the survival of both patient and care giver.
Clovenhoof's Diary: September
Heide Goody - 2018
And St Michael’s Secondary School has got a new member of staff. Jeremy Clovenhoof, has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to share all he has learned with the next generation. Whether it’s turning toilet graffiti into art, getting a date by making nuisance calls or making the most of being ill, he’s got advice for everyone. Join Clovenhoof at the start of his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.
Isn't it well for ye? The Book of Irish Mammies
Colm O'Regan - 2012
She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.
The Warlizard Chronicles
Warlizard - 2011
Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Attack of the Factoids
Bathroom Readers' Institute - 2014
Like what, you ask? Here are just a few extraordinary examples: * Bats always turn left when they exit a cave.* In the 1960s, astronauts trained for moon voyages by walking on Hawaiian lava fields.* Lloyd's of London insured Bruce Springsteen's voice for 3.5 million English pounds.* Physician Amynthas of Alexandria, Greece, performed the first known nose job in the Third Century B.C.* Military toilet paper is printed in a camouflage design, since white could attract enemy fire.* Elvis Presley always wore a helmet when watching football on TV.* King Henry VIII's ladies at court had a ration of one gallon of beer per day.* It takes the energy from 50 leaves on an apple tree to produce one ripe fruit.* The only country to host the Summer Olympics but not win a sinlge gold medal was Canada, in 1976. And that's just the beginning! So what are you waiting for? Attack!
Lush: A True Story, Soaked in Gin
Gabrielle Fernie - 2018
Very rich and providing great sensory pleasure (Oxford English Dictionary)n. A habitual drunkard (Oxford English Dictionary)'Arms linked, just as we did when we were seventeen, we teeter our way to the club, pausing to tug Emma's stiletto out of a drain cover and sling our empty wine bottle into the bin. For the first time in a long while I feel truly happy. I want to be standing arm-in-arm with my best friend, both completely pole-axed, for the rest of my days. And then it comes to me, with a stab: this is possibly our last night out together as free women...'Gabby and Emma have been best friends since primary school in Wales. Emma has a stable job, a nice home and has just got engaged. Gabby has had a succession of disastrous one-night-stands and five awful jobs since drama school . . . and she has just been diagnosed with scurvy. She has one year until the wedding to pull herself together and prove to her friends and family that she can be a proper grown-up.Described by Caitlin Moran as 'filthy, immoral and incredibly funny', Gabrielle Fernie's blog, loveisa4letterturd.com, catalogued her life as a struggling actress with a taste for gin. Here, in her first book, she shares more of her most raucous stories with eye-watering honesty. It is a refreshing, frank and laugh-out-loud account of a young woman trying to find her place in the world; ultimately realising that it's fine to play at being an adult until she properly figures it out.
Confessions of a Chocoholic
Lynda Renham - 2013
A right comedy of errors if ever there was one. If you're looking for her beauty secrets and fashion ideas you've come to the right place. Read of her intimate sex life, her secrets for staying young and how she keeps her man - just. A fly-on-the wall true account of the life of a romantic comedy novelist, written in her own words. It's all here, the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Publisher Note: We are not responsible for any of the advice given in this book. If you do not look like Lynda after reading this we cannot be held accountable. Warning: Tena Pads recommended while reading.
House of Testosterone: One Mom's Survival in a Household of Males
Sharon O'Donnell - 2007
When you are the mother of boys, it seems like this question is on a continuous tape loop in your head. Humor columnist Sharon O’Donnell knows this feeling. In House of Testosterone, she chronicles her adventures raising three sons and reining in her über-male, forgetful husband, Kevin. She shares her stories of welcoming her third son into the world, resisting the gravitational pull of the “guy zone,” and running a household immersed in a world of sports, bathroom humor, and laundry. O’Donnell’s spirit shines through as she struggles to find some “me time” or survive another comical family vacation.These entertaining episodes of child- (and husband-) rearing lovingly illustrate why Sharon calls herself “Lady of the House of Testosterone.”
Dreams of Gold
Kelsey MacBride - 2015
It begins with the story of Brenda Wagner’s tragic accident at a skating competition that nearly destroys her lifelong love of skating. Left with crushed hopes and a permanent disability, this story highlights Brenda’s journey of courage to find a new purpose in life, her hopes of returning to the ice, her struggles, and her achievements as she trusts God to help her grow. *This is a FREE Preview and not a stand-alone novel* In this first book, Brenda Wagner suffers a devastating accident during an ice skating competition. Her dreams of qualifying for the Olympic skating team are shattered when her doctor tells her she will never skate again, let alone walk like a normal person. Brenda refuses to accept her doctor’s diagnosis and struggles through physical therapy to regain the use of her legs. But progress is slow and Brenda fears she may never walk the same again. Almost a year later, to everyone’s surprise, Brenda has learned to walk by herself. Brenda has high hopes of returning to the ice. But Pamela, her skating coach, is skeptical and tells Brenda that she will coach Brenda only on one condition. That she skate with a partner who can work with her new disabilities. Brenda reluctantly agrees, knowing she has no other choice. But her new career in pairs skating takes on a new twist when she finds out Pamela has chosen her ex-fiancé Scott Nichols as her new partner. Scott Nichols is a skating instructor at the local ice rink. He loves Brenda with all his heart and even proposed to her years ago. But when he left her standing at the altar because of a personal emergency, Brenda never forgave him and broke off their relationship. While Scott still suffers the sting of being scorned by his ex-fiancé, he refuses to give up on love and hopes that Brenda will change her mind someday. To his surprise, Coach Pamela asks him to be Brenda’s new skating partner. Scott rejoices at the opportunity to win back Brenda’s trust and her love. But can he soften Brenda’s hardened heart, or will they only maintain a professional relationship? Other titles in The Colorado Spring Series by Kelsey MacBride -Heart of a Champion : Book 2 of The Colorado Springs Series
Turn Left at Istanbul: ESCAPING SHIRLEY - The ultimate, mad, sixties road trip
Richard Savin - 2019
In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.
Another Nice Mess - The Laurel & Hardy Story
Raymond Valinoti Jr. - 2010
The public not only found Laurel's serene simpleton and Hardy's pompous buffoon hilarious, but they also thought of them as friends. Laurel and Hardy may have been nitwits, but they were loveable nitwits.Another Nice Mess: The Laurel and Hardy Story explores the lives and careers of Laurel and Hardy. The book examines how the comedians teamed up and it explains why, nearly half a century after their deaths, their films continue to enchant people all over the world.Raymond Valinoti, Jr.. is a resident of Berkeley Heights, NJ. He has a Master's in Library Science from Rutgers University and is a freelance researcher. His articles on film have been published in the magazines Midnight Marquee and Films of the Golden Age. He also writes film reviews for an online news publication, The Alternative Press.
Dirty Talk
Lucia Jordan - 2016
And even now that they’re all grown up, things haven’t changed much. But when Mandy sprains her ankle and is unable to attend an all-important work event, Carrie agrees, after much nettling, to go in her sister’s place. Pretending to be Mandy isn’t as easy as it sounds though, despite the fact that they’re identical twins—if she screws up, Mandy will certainly lose her job. Carrie doesn’t expect much to come of the evening, but she soon realizes that pretending to be the sexy, wild sister is completely exhilarating. As she becomes more caught up in the act, she finds herself in the company of a mysterious man whose dominant touch and allure is all it takes for her to forsake any reservations she’d had about letting loose. Soon, she is pressing her body up against him, moving as one on the dance floor. Will Carrie allow herself to follow her desires, wherever they may take her, and even if it’s only for one night?
Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?
Alan Parks - 2017
In fact, each setback they experience just seems to immerse them deeper into a life they have totally fallen in love with. 'Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?' is the latest installment of their adventures as they continue to seize the day, living off-grid and loving every minute.