Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    

    Pitch invaders aside, few of us get to experience that adrenalin rush. Of those who do make it as a professional footballer, even fewer realise the giddy heights of success. In the Illustrated History of Football: Hall of Fame, cartoonist David Squires returns to celebrate those who straddle the game like giants; those talented, determined souls who were juggling tennis balls in the back streets before they could talk. There’s more than one way to attain football immortality though, and Squires also turns his comic eye to the mavericks, the pioneers, the forgotten legends and the anti-heroes. From Pele to Meazza, Maradona to Socrates, you will be taken on an unforgettable journey through the good, the bad and the Hagi.

    After growing up in an Irish Catholic household, he was sent to a grammar school run by priests, from which he eventually emerged unscathed. A combination of O Levels and rock ’n’ roll led him into the bowels of Manchester’s club land, where he worked alongside strippers and Chinese strongman acts while revising the War of Jenkin’s Ear.Testosterone and guilt struggled for mastery in his lapsing Catholic chest and trousers until testosterone won and, with guilt still on his back like Quasimodo’s hump, he toured the dancehalls of Northern England in a VW panel van, taking rock ’n’ roll to one-horse towns where the horse had bolted.Warm, nostalgic and very funny, Mike Harding’s memoir of his early life in post-war Manchester is as idiosyncratic and engaging as the man himself.

     Marcus Aurelius wrote the 12 books of the Meditations as a source for his own guidance and self-improvement. These books have been carefully adapted into a contemporary form to allow for easy reading.

    Learn more in The Collector.Some things seem ordinary to the naked eye, but sometimes a camera catches things invisible to the naked eye. This one will give you chills in It's Only A Photo.

    The result was a classic column full of Bombecks signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life: If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life.But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.

    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

    Some things last forever...so of all people, you'd think tattoo artists would use spell-check! Get this e-book and laugh your @#$ off at what happens when questionable taste and lack of foresight collide.Note: As the title says, there's some pretty inappropriate stuff in here...not for children!

    Talking Cock combines answers to questions about sexuality, circumcision, and strange behavior with a deeply researched history, poignant true-life confessions, and insights from the hilarious to the downright obscene.

    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

    The Labour Party coming to power in 1997 could have been the start of a new political dawn for Mark and for Britain. But instead, big business and war-mongering thrived under New Labour, and in many ways the working class seemed to become more marginalised. Petty bickering and in-fighting racked the SWP, numbers dwindled horribly, socialism became a dirty word and Mark Steel began to think the unthinkable . . . do I really want to belong to this rabble anymore? At the same time, entering his forties, Mark's personal life began to disintegrate. Spending many sleepless nights on the sofa, watching inane cable TV into the early hours of the morning, Mark asked himself the question, 'What is Going On?' In a book that goes right to the heart of Britain and the problems it suffers today, Mark wonders why over a million people marching in London couldn't stop the war in Iraq, why supermarkets are killing the small town centres of Britain and why George Galloway went on Celebrity Big Brother destroying any political credibility he may have had in the blink of a cat's eye. Bitingly funny, poignant, sharply observed and very much of the moment, this is Mark Steel at his brilliantly intelligent best.

    It's a compilation of my daily ramblings as a first time novelist encouraging myself and others to bite the bullet and do it despite the fear of the blank paper, the insecurities, and the angst every writer faces when trying to bleed the story out. My Twitter followers asked me to make this book. They said they want to carry it around in their pockets and take it out each time they feel stuck, scared, or simply need to smile. They tell me my tweets are encouraging and funny. You be the judge.

    He has a public meltdown while chaperoning Oasis at an awards ceremony; he’s lost joy in his bathroom full of rock’n’roll memorabilia; and his young son is in trouble at school for emulating rock star behaviour.Reluctantly Michael consults Mrs Henckel, a no-nonsense therapist with zero experience of pop culture. As Michael addresses his feelings about the past, in particular his failed teenage band, Mental Elf, he’s forced to confront the question: is it finally time to grow up and forget rock’n’roll?Michael Odell is a former contributing editor to Q magazine and has written about music for NME, the Guardian, the Independent and Spin, among others. Currently he does interviews and writes on family matters for The Times. He lives in Bristol."Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n' roll band, who'll throw it all away." So advised Noel Gallagher in 1995 and Michael Odell ignored him anyway.One of Britain's most fearless rock interrogators, Odell turns his merciless searchlight on himself in this wry, compelling odyssey into the heart of his own - and rock n roll's - madness. Larks with the legends are all here (Bowie, McCartney, Mick `n' Keef ... Michael Buble) but it's his inner life which illuminates, his psyche traumatically crumbling as he confronts his chaotic past. Hilarious, tragic and timely, this is high farce in high (and low) places, uncovering why rock's lost highway is littered with the bodies of the righteous dreamers. Could it be because "the music people are all mad?" (Clue: yes.)' -- Sylvia Patterson, author of I'm Not with the Band `Hilarious and disarmingly honest; a journey into the neurosis of rock fame, but through doors you don't expect.' -- Rachel Joyce, author of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry `Rock Bottom is one of the best music books ever written, because Michael Odell knows music isn't about the musicians - it's about what it does to the listener, even if what it does ends up being wholly disastrous. It's sad, funny, fascinating and wise. And everyone who ever claimed a record changed their life should read it, and then think again.' -- Michael Hann, former Guardian music editor