Chronicling his abusive childhood, his near-fatal addiction to Life, his excruciating time in rehab, and the ultimate triumph of his true nature, this long-awaited autobiography finally reveals the inner story of one of the most troubling, and troubled, figures in history. For the first time, Death reveals his affairs with the living, his maltreatment at the hands of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the ungodly truth behind the infamous “Jesus Incident,” and the loneliness of being the End of All Things. Intense, unpredictable, and instantly engaging, Death: A Life is not only a story of triumph against all odds, but also a tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a universe that, despite its profound flaws, gave Death the fiery determination to carve out a successful existence on his own terms. DEATH was born in Hell, the only son of Satan and Sin. He was educated in the Palace of Pandemonium and the Garden of Eden. Since before the Dawn of Time, he has ushered souls into the darkness of eternity. This is his first book.

    So when the bishop calls her to be homemaking counselor, she knows that it's either a joke- or inspiration. Welcome to the Paradise Vue Ward, with stained glass windows so blindingly bright, the congregation has to wear shades. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll keep wondering how the author found out about all the wackiest people in your ward. Surely the funniest Mormon novel ever published. By the end you may discover it's also the best.

    

    It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.Nineteen-year-old Night Vale pawn shop owner Jackie Fierro is given a paper marked "King City" by a mysterious man in a tan jacket holding a deer skin suitcase. Everything about him and his paper unsettles her, especially the fact that she can't seem to get the paper to leave her hand, and that no one who meets this man can remember anything about him. Jackie is determined to uncover the mystery of King City and the man in the tan jacket before she herself unravels.Night Vale PTA treasurer Diane Crayton's son, Josh, is moody and also a shape shifter. And lately Diane's started to see her son's father everywhere she goes, looking the same as the day he left years earlier, when they were both teenagers. Josh, looking different every time Diane sees him, shows a stronger and stronger interest in his estranged father, leading to a disaster Diane can see coming, even as she is helpless to prevent it.Diane's search to reconnect with her son and Jackie's search for her former routine life collide as they find themselves coming back to two words: "King City". It is King City that holds the key to both of their mysteries, and their futures...if they can ever find it.

    We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves.Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few.In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.

    Fast forward to thirty-five years later: Felix Sayers is a culinary writer living in San Francisco of Universe A who spends his days lunching at Coconut Café and dreaming of penning an Agatha Christie-style mystery. But everything changes when his Aunt Henrietta dies, leaving Felix a photograph of his father and himself—dated ten days before Felix was born. It can only mean one thing: Felix has an “alter” in Universe B. Panicked that his mystery novel may have been written already, Felix crosses to San Francisco B and proceeds to flagrantly violate the rules of both worlds by snooping around his alter’s life. But when he narrowly escapes a hit-and-run, it becomes clear that someone knows he’s crossed over…and whoever it is isn’t happy about it. Now Felix must uncover the truth about his alter, the events of one Monday, and a wayward rubber duck before his time in both worlds runs out."Weaving together physics, philosophy, and wry humor, Maslakovic's inventive debut is a delight." - Booklist"The story unfolds at a sprightly pace...clever combination of mystery, science fiction and humor gives this title broad appeal." - School Library Journal"A witty and light ‘what if’ novel stuffed with an amusing and eclectic cast of characters.” - Publishers Weekly "Highly recommended." - Midwest Book Review

    As fate would have it, they meet at these crossroads, never realizing it's a turning point in their lives. Forced by circumstances to share a truck, they take to the road in pursuit of a common goal--to make it as musicians on the country music circuit.But it seems no matter where these two travel, trouble finds them. Whether it's turning the tables on a crooked card shark who takes everything they have, or fending off the raging boyfriend of that friendly gal from last night, the guys are constantly needing to outwit the world. And when their friend and boss Jodie Lee disappears, their resourcefulness will truly be tested. Each of the guys has his theory, but they'll need to work together to get to their friend before time runs out.

    Witty and irreverent, Horseradish is a book with universal appeal, a delightful vehicle to introduce Snicket's uproariously unhappy observations to a crowd not yet familiar with the Baudelaires' misadventures.

    Since then, the recurring nightmares, creepy hallucinations and overpowering fear are gone. That's good, right? I mean, no one in their right minds wants to feel like that. I am starting to wonder if I'm in my right mind anymore...When a lady in my neighborhood died, I couldn't help but stick my nose in, to see what happened. I should just get on with things–I've got some new friends, and a cool boy named Chris has taken an interest in me. Everyone is telling me to just leave this weird murder alone.But I can't stop myself. The more I find out about her death, the more twisted everything is.I think there’s a predator in Narrowdale. And now it’s hunting me…What have I gotten myself into?

    Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You’ve never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, the princes stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it’s up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be.Christopher Healy’s Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom is a completely original take on the world of fairy tales, the truth about what happens after “happily ever after.” It’s a must-have for middle grade readers who enjoy their fantasy adventures mixed with the humor of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Witty black-and-white drawings by Todd Harris add to the fun.

    When her mom started telling everyone about the messages aliens were sending through a mole on the back of her neck? Maybe on Christmas Eve, when huge, bizarre spaceships descended on the Earth and the aliens – called Boov – abducted her mother? Or when the Boov declared Earth a colony, renamed it “Smekland” (in honor of glorious Captain Smek), and forced all Americans to relocate to Florida via rocketpod?In any case, Gratuity’s story is much, much bigger than the assignment. It involves her unlikely friendship with a renegade Boov mechanic named J.Lo.; a futile journey south to find Gratuity’s mother at the Happy Mouse Kingdom; a cross-country road trip in a hovercar called Slushious; and an outrageous plan to save the Earth from yet another alien invasion.Fully illustrated with “photos,” drawings, newspaper clippings, and comics sequences, this is a hilarious, perceptive, genre-bending novel by a remarkable new talent.

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

    His star has waned. The world is leaving him behind. His agent, the ruthless Minerva Cinch, convinces him that his only hope is to write a sword-and-sorcery blockbuster. Unfortunately, Philip—allergic to the faintest trace of Tolkien—is utterly unsuited to the task. In a dark hour, a dwarfish stranger comes to his rescue. But the deal he makes with Pocket Wellfair turns out to have Faustian consequences. The Murdstone Trilogy is a richly dark comedy described by one U.K. reviewer as "totally insane in the best way possible."