Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Simon's self-sufficient rural life is an inspiration to us all' - Ben Fogle Following a drunken misunderstanding Simon Dawson gave up his job in the city, moved to the wilds of Exmoor and became an accidental self-sufficient smallholder with an array of animals. But that was years ago now. Following up on his first book, PIGS IN CLOVER, this is the story of what happens when he suddenly realises that his life is changing all over again. He's not quite the spring chicken that he used to be: he is, horror of horrors, getting older.With a cast of best friends (some more helpful than others) including Ziggy, a panicked soon-to-be father desperate to grow up, Garth, an annoying teenager, and a rather handsome pig called The General, a plan is hatched to help each other mature (or immature). Heartfelt discoveries and hilarious endeavours ensue as they work through their age-related angsts, all with a fair dose of pigs, chickens, lambs and animal madness along the way. This is Exmoor's uplifting laugh-out-loud antidote to middle age in the mud; a place where you truly realise that the sty's the limit!

    The Liverpool band’s first three singles shot to the top of the UK charts and spawned a multi-million selling album in the mid-eighties. It was a thrilling rock’n’roll ride for ‘Nasher’, a lad from a council house barely out of his teens. But the dream didn’t last. Aged just 27, he found himself near homeless and on the dole. One of ‘The Lads’ no more.Now, 30 years on from the band’s formation, Nasher takes us back on a colourful journey to Hollywood and beyond. What price fame? It’s time to tell the real story.

    Often called the greatest middleweight boxer of all time, he held the world title for 12 defenses, including bouts with Sugar Ray Leonard, Thomas Hearns, and Roberto Duran which entered fistic folklore. This biography tells the story of Hagler's extraordinary life for the first time, separating truth from myth to get right to the heart of a complex and charismatic man. From his wild early fights in the boxing wilderness of Brockton, Massachusetts, the book follows the blazing trail of Hagler's career: the controversial defeats subsequently avenged, a riot-scarred title win in London, and his unification of the middleweight crown. It also cover the Ring magazine's "greatest round of all time" against Hearns, his ferocious battle with Duran, and the still-controversial loss to his nemesis Leonard.

    It can feel like we are pulling a cart behind us with all are troubles and worries, it slows us down, we can become tired, depressed, even jealous, as life seems so easy for others. All we need to do is LET GO of the cart and we will feel lighter and free, but often we have held onto it so long that it has become part of us. Many of the people we know are also carrying carts, so it can seem normal. We talk about how heavy are cart is with anyone that will listen, at no point do we realize that we can set down that heavy cart that is keeping us from Gods love. We need to learn to Let go. In this book I will share with you stories of people that struggled with letting go and what happened when they did. God is only in the present moment, he is not in the past or future. The moment that we let go of the past God will turn the page to the next chapter of our life, which will be much better than the last. It will take courage and faith, but I invite you to take this journey with me. By the end of the book God will shine a light into your life that will illuminate you to… THE POWER OF LETTING GO.

    As soon as they drive across Andalusia, they fall in love with its rugged beauty, whitewashed villages, red geraniums, giant aloes, and endless olive trees. After weeks of visiting ruins and dilapidated sheds advertised as homes, they find a little stone cottage in a mountain valley in the middle of nowhere. Equipped with everything that a romantic soul desires: a patio shaded by grape vines, an ancient bay leaf tree, and a formidable oak in front of a long driveway, they fall in love with this property and decide to reform it into a guest house. With little foresight or planning, they exchange cushy expats lives for a life in the sun.Quite quickly, however, they find themselves battling cowboy builders, no electricity, a dry well, torrential rain storms, and a freezing cold winter without a roof over their heads. Through all these adventures, they develop relations with their neighbours who had lived in the valley for many generations. Puzzled by the strangers’ behaviour, the neighbours teach them about olive picking, and the cultivation of local vegetables. But primarily, they offer their endless generosity and insight into life in rural Andalusia.As they begin to settle in, financial problems confront our somewhat naïve couple. Without steady pay checks and construction bills piling up, their idea of the good life starts to fall apart. Written with a wry sense of honest humour, this story is filled with twists and turns that take the reader on a journey from a life where every day was monotonously repetitive to a place where every day presents a new challenge.

    He loves being a little bit famous for his videos, but at the end of the day he's a lone wolf - one who's more interested in Caramilk on the couch than cocktails in the club. He's a strong believer in Netflix and chilling at home, alone; he's always the first to smokebomb social events, and he is in a committed relationship with his indoor plants.Christian tells his behind-the-scenes story with his signature, completely unapologetic honesty, from growing up with triplet brothers to building a career in comedy; from his fear of moths to some of his more daring Grindr sexcapades. He invites you into his personal creative universe, where wearing a wig to make random videos and screaming swearwordsat resin pendants somehow turn out to be great decisions.Leave Me Alone is a story of breaking the mould and embracing exactly who you are, even if that means telling people to leave you the f**k alone.

    The crowning moment of Hogan’s comeback was his dramatic victory in the1950 U.S. Open at Merion Golf Club near Philadelphia, where his battered legs could barely carry him on the 36-hole final day.Miracle at Merion tells the stirring story of Hogan’s triumph over adversity—the rarely-performed surgery that saved his life, the months of rehabilitation when he couldn’t even hit a golf ball, his stunning return to competition at the Los Angeles Open, and,finally, the U.S. Open triumph that returned him to the pinnacle of the game.While Hogan was severely injured in the accident, fracturing his pelvis, collarbone, rib, and ankle, his life wasn’t in danger until two weeks later when blood clots developed in his leg, necessitating emergency surgery. Hogan didn’t leave the hospital until April and didn’t even touch a golf club until August. It wasn’t until November,more than nine months after the accident, that he was able to go to the range to hit balls. Hogan’s performance at the Los Angeles Open in early January convinced Hollywood to make a movie out of his life and comeback (Follow the Sun, starring Glenn Ford).Five months later, Hogan completed his miraculous comeback by winning the U.S. Open in a riveting 36-hole playoff against Lloyd Mangrum and George Fazio, permanently cementing his legacy as one of the sport’s true legends.

    She had been Hotel K's most famous inmate.Schapelle was a 27-year-old beauty-school student when, in 2004, Bali customs officers found 4.2 kilograms of marijuana in her boogie-board bag. She was convicted of a crime she still vehemently denies committing.She spent ten years in Hotel K, where she survived unimaginable horrors, corrupt guards, degrading conditions, and abuse at the hands of other prisoners, but also, amazingly, found the love of her life - a love that still burns strong.In this revised and updated edition of My Story, first published in 2006, Schapelle describes her descent into madness, and finding her way back, the chaos of her release, the trials of surviving outside on parole and, eventually, her dramatic return to Australia, all the while hounded mercilessly by the media.This is the first time since 2006 that Schapelle has spoken, driven by a determination to show she has emerged, scarred, but with her dignity, humour and courage intact.Written with bestselling author Kathryn Bonella, this is a deeply unsettling but utterly compelling tale of what should have been a holiday in paradise but instead turned into 13 years of living hell. You won't be able to put it down.

    Over a decade later, when Bouch finally retired with a plethora of records under his belt and to huge acclaim from the public, he took grim satisfaction in relating this piece of history. Through my Eyes is the story of a man with remarkable sporting prowess. Born into a sports-mad family in East London, he excelled in squash, tennis and rugby before choosing cricket as his preferred sport. His extraordinary achievements on the field are well known – he was voted SA player of the year in 1998, 2000 and 2006. What is not so well known, and makes up much of this book, are the behind-the-scenes stories and anecdotes. Stories of staring down the barrel of defeat and of celebrating victory; of developing strong bonds with teammates Graeme Smith, Jacques Kallis and others that go way beyond mere friendship. What emerges is the image of a man who always fought for the underdog, whose never-say-die attitude inspires those around him. Bouch’s career was brought to a dramatic end on a cricket pitch in England when the bail of a stump punctured his left eye. But, in his own words, ‘I lost sight but gained vision.’ True to his character of gritty determination, Bouch has rededicated his life to a new cause, that of the environment and particularly the critically endangered rhino.

    No Spin is that very story. It will offer a compelling intimate voice, true insight and a pitch-side seat to one of cricket’s finest eras, making this one of the ultimate must-have sports autobiographies.Shane is not only one of the greatest living cricket legends: he is as close as the game has had since Botham to a maverick genius on the field and a true rebel spirit off it, who always gives audiences what they want. Despite being the talismanic thorn in England’s side for nearly two decades of regular Ashes defeats, he was also much loved in the UK where he played cricket for Hampshire. He’s also a much-admired figure in India and South Africa.Alongside his mesmerising genius as a bowler, Shane has often been a controversial figure, and in this book he's talk with brutal honesty about some of the most challenging times in his life as a player. Honest, thoughtful, fearless and loved by millions, Shane is always his own man and this book is a testament to his brilliant career.

    His big break came when he was invited to join the England squad for their tour to Argentina in 1990 and has been capped 100 times.

    The story of the most controversial Test series in cricket's history.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.