We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

    A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    Written for Americans, but equally amusing to anyone visiting the shores of the Great Southern Land, this book examines the relationship between Australia and the U.S., including how Australians view their American cousins. The author has plenty of experience of working and dealing with Americans. He is married to an American nurse and has lived his life within the massive cultural influence that America has shared with Australia since the Second World War. The author’s stories are brimming with empathy and jokes for his American audience. The book is written from the opinion of an Aussie Bloke and the easy-to-digest chapters are just long enough to leave the reader smiling and well informed.Topics include Blokes and Sheilas, Bloody Foster’s, Dangerous Creatures, Talking to Dogs, The GAFA, Speaking Strail-yun and Working for the Queen. Confused? You won’t be after reading this book!

    It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

    But what is so moving about Staci Layne Wilson’s unconventional coming-of-age story is that in spite of her rocky childhood, she describes her parents with deep affection, generosity, and pride. Hers is a story of triumph over a legacy of alcoholism, suicide, and Hollywood burnout, but more than that, it’s a tender, gripping tale of unconditional love (with a healthy dose of humor). Despite the downsides, her upbringing gave her the powerful determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms. Vintage Los Angeles Staci Layne Wilson tells tales of bygone eras – she grew up with showbiz parents in L.A. in the sixties and seventies, had ponies in the backyard and a psychotic monkey in the house, mingled with the stars on the Sunset Strip rock scene in the eighties, partied at the Playboy Mansion, nearly died (twice!). She ultimately found love, purpose, and success as an author, film director, screenwriter, pop culture pundit and notable red carpet reporter has interviewed the biggest celebs in the world. First-hand stories about: The Doors Led Zeppelin Guns N’ Roses Metallica Keanu Reeves Heath Ledger Liam Neeson Jennifer Lawrence Denzel Washington Ben Stiller Mia Farrow …to name just a few! Dozens of full-color photos PRAISE “A touching, laugh-out-loud memoir.” – Daily Sweets “Refreshingly honest look at Los Angeles, past and present.” – Curb Appeal “Charming, self-deprecating.” – Los Angeles Readers & Writers “As a music fanatic, I was in heaven over all the inside stories about The Ventures (through their 50+ year career!), Metallica, Led Zeppelin, and the glam-rock scene on the Sunset Strip. There’s also a whole master class on the heavy metal hangouts of Hollywood: The Rainbow, The Roxy, The Troubadour… Staci’s seen it all!” – Gene Katz, director of The Hair Band Tease If you want to read a time capsule of a specific period in Southern California pop cultural history, look no further. If you want to read a book that’s as delightful as it is insightful, one that stays with you long after you close its covers, this is that book. If you want to be simultaneously educated and entertained, you won’t find a better reference than this one. Staci Layne Wilson not only has a penchant for detail, she has a memory like a bear trap. Nothing escapes her notice, and she has been kind enough to let us see the world through her keen, sentimental (but never maudlin) eyes. The book should come with one caveat emptor, however: if you read it at night, you can forget about sleeping. Not all the coffee in the world can knock down the reading hangover you’re going to have the next day after flipping page after page the night before. – Stacey Keith, author of Stripped Down: A Naked Memoir A book that rivals the best of Huell Howser's TV shows digging up the cherished as well as perished landmarks of the City of Angels.

    uncertain of the outcome. It uses humor to de-stress infertility sufferers, their families and medical teams. It's relief for those who feel they just can't deal with infertility one minute more and that nobody truly understands. It's a fun and cheap gift for those friends and relatives who still don't "get it". It's a glimpse over the reception desk and at the other end of the examination table for medical professionals and their staffs who meet and treat infertile patients every day.It also has been widely read by those who know nothing or care nothing about infertility but enjoy the humor in life's daily angsts that we all can relate to.

    Having longed for children since before she can remember, she was suddenly faced with an array of unfamiliar, unexpected and sometimes downright embarrassing emotional and physical reactions. And when Poppy (and a year later Daisy) was born she had to learn a whole new set of skills.From trying to conceive and a first positive pregnancy test to Poppy's first birthday, Minus Nine To One takes you through the worries, surprises, excitement, miracles and sheer bloody hard work that Jools - and all new mums in their own different ways - have to cope with along the way. As Jools writes, 'This certainly isn't meant to be read as a guidebook, or a medical reference book - it is simply my story and I hope that you can relate to it in some way (and maybe even relax with it in the bath!).'Down to earth, personal and very, very funny, this is the book no aspiring mother will want to be without.

    Baby becomes distressed at feeding times and refuses to feed or eats very little despite obvious hunger. Why won’t he/she eat? This is a question parents ask numerous health professionals while searching for a solution. Babies are typically diagnosed with one, two or three medical conditions to explain their aversive feeding behavior during brief appointments. Consequently, many parents don’t receive an effective solution from the health professionals they consult. This is why this book is so necessary. Rowena Bennett is an Australian nurse who holds professional qualifications in various nursing fields including pediatrics, midwifery, child health, mental health and lactation consultant. She has over 20 years experience advising parents how to resolve infant feeding and sleeping problems. Rowena has helped over 1000 babies get over their aversion to bottle-feeding and enjoy feeding once again. Parents claim the relief is life changing. In Your Baby’s Bottle-feeding Aversion, Rowena describes the various reasons babies display aversive feeding behavior, explains how the reader can identify the cause, and describes effective solutions. Included are step-by-step instructions on how to resolve a behavioral feeding aversion that occurs as a result of being repeatedly pressured to feed - the most common of all reasons for babies to become averse to feeding. Your Baby’s Bottle-feeding Aversion provides practical professional feeding advice that not only makes good sense, it works!

    The author doesn't pull any punches describing the good, the bad, the funny and the just plain ridiculous of the Submarine Service. Besides a wealth of information about what it's like to serve on a submarine, you'll meet real life characters like Tongue, Snake and Button Butt John. Did submarines make them rude, crude, and crazy. Or does the Submarine Service act as a magnet for every nut in the Navy? One thing is sure, after two months underwater, and with their back pay in their back pocket, Sub Sailors are as wild as cowboys after a cattle drive. Bar the doors and hide your daughters. Every reader owes it to themselves to use Amazons "Look In" feature to take a peek inside this unique and entertaining book.

    Finally allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to open up to others, she learned that it’s worth risking possible rejection for a chance at genuine relationships.Ultimately, it was Amy’s faith, as well as the support and encouragement of her community of loving family and good friends, that saw her through the dark times and allowed her to realize her greatest dreams and beyond. Amy’s memoir is an inspiring and at times heart-wrenching account of resilience and the strength of the human spirit to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    This guidebook is not meant to replace a Lonely Planet/Frommers/Rough Guide, but rather to compliment them. In NZ Frenzy you'll find info about all the South's must-see spots, plus detailed info about the lesser-known and unheralded off-the-beaten-path wonder spots. This guidebook goes WAY beyond the vague outdoor info in the mainstream travel guidebooks. NZ Frenzy is about giving you the details you'll need to find the "real" NZ, the one without lines of tour buses, the one without brochures of pay-to-see commercialized natural "attractions". NZ Frenzy, unlike any of the other mainstream guidebooks, will deliver you to the New Zealand that you've been planning for and fantasizing about. I guarantee it. Please read the reviews of NZ Frenzy North Island to see what travelers think of my info. Are you going to NZ to be a tourist at touristy crowded places or do you want to find the "Real" New Zealand that you'll tell stories about?? When you have an NZ Frenzy in hand, you'll leave the other guidebooks in the glove box and you'll leave the tourists behind!! The South Island has natural wonders beyond compare, but the mainstream media only promotes the commercialized stuff. Don't waste your precious time while in NZ waiting in line at the tourist visitor centers...get NZ Frenzy and go experience the Real New Zealand, the Fabled New Zealand. You can have the trip of a lifetime, you will have the trip of a lifetime!!

    Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!