Now this former editor of The Harvard Lampoon and current writer for Saturday Night Live has returned to mine more comedy from our hopelessly terrifying world.In the nostalgic opening chapter, Rich recalls his fear of the Tooth Fairy (“Is there a face fairy?â€) and his initial reaction to the “Got-your-nose†game (“Please just kill me. Better to die than to live the rest of my life as a monsterâ€). He goes on to present Count Dracula’s desperate Match.com profile (“I am normal human looking for human woman to come to castle. I am normal, regular humanâ€). Later, he gets inside the heads of two firehouse Dalmatians who can’t understand their masters’ compulsion to drive off to horrible fires every day. And in the final chapter, he tackles some of life’s biggest questions: Does God really have a plan for us? Yes, it turns out. Now if only He could remember what it was. . . . Praise for Simon Rich’s Ant Farm “Ant Farm has an imaginative power that can trigger snort-fests. . . . Ferociously creative, this book is for readers craving both smart humor and belly laughs.â€â€“People (four stars)“Savagely funny.â€â€“The New York Times“Hilarious. Open this book anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh.â€â€“Jon Stewart“Ant Farm is what all humor books should be: full of brief, high-concept musings that you wish you’d thought of yourself.â€â€“Time Out New York“A satirical salmagundi that bites back . . . Imaginative premises abound. . . . As unpredictable as YouTube, as in your face as MySpace.â€â€“Publishers Weekly

    The answers will surprise and delight you as Alexandra Horowitz, a cognitive scientist, explains how dogs perceive their daily worlds, each other, and that other quirky animal, the human.Temple Grandin meets Stephen Pinker in this engaging and informative look at what goes on inside the minds of dogs—from a cognitive scientist with a background at The New Yorker.With more than 52 million pet dogs in America today, it’s clear we are a nation of unabashed dog-lovers. Yet the relationship between dogs and humans remains a fascinating mystery, as no one really knows what goes on in the canine mind. Now, in Inside of a Dog, Alexandra Horowitz fuses her perspectives as both scientist and dog-owner to deliver a fresh look at the world of dogs—as seen from the animal’s point of view. Inspired by her years of living with her own dog, Pumpernickel, who was a constant source of delight and mystery, Horowitz’s mind became filled with questions and ideas. In crisp, clear prose, she draws on her research in the field of dog cognition to give readers a sense of a dog’s perceptual and cognitive abilities—and paints a picture of what the canine experience is like. Horowitz’s own scientific journey, and the insights she uncovered, allowed her to understand her dog better and appreciate her more.Containing up-to-the minute research and providing many moments of dog-behavior recognition, this lively and absorbing book helps dog owners to see their best friend’s behavior in a different, and revealing light, allowing them to understand their pets and enjoy their company even more.

    BOOK OF THE BITCH: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Caring for Bitches

    They were the only inhabitants of the small island.That night, the men of the family were unexpectedly detained in Portsmouth awaiting a shipment of bait. At the dock, their casual conversation was overheard, a killer saw an opportunity, and did the unthinkable. He rowed ten miles out to sea on a freezing night and committed murders that have become legend in New England crime annals. One woman survived the brutal assault and narrowly escaped his clutches as she hid among rocks. This is the frightening story of what happened the night of March 5, 1873 on a lonely coastal island and what followed in the days and months after.

    Have you ever wondered if your dog might be a bit depressed? How about heartbroken or homesick? Animal Madness takes these questions seriously, exploring the topic of mental health and recovery in the animal kingdom and turning up lessons that Publishers Weekly calls “Illuminating…Braitman’s delightful balance of humor and poignancy brings each case of life….[Animal Madness’s] continuous dose of hope should prove medicinal for humans and animals alike.” Susan Orlean calls Animal Madness “a marvelous, smart, eloquent book—as much about human emotion as it is about animals and their inner lives.” It is “a gem…that can teach us much about the wildness of our own minds” (Psychology Today).

    In these pages, you will find the most provocative, compelling, tragic, and triumphant moments in sports from 2007, captured by the knights of the keyboard who make sports come alive for us day after day, week after week, year after year. Here you’ll find Paul Solotaroff’s excellent and uncompromising take on the neglect that a growing number of crippled NFL players continually face from the NFL players’ union. Jeanne Marie Laskas’s “G-L-O-R-Y!” offers a rousing inside look at the pregame rituals of the Cincinnati Bengals cheerleaders. A riveting online diary by Wright Thompson reveals a bleak and merciless landscape in China, which that country’s government would rather not have the world see during preparations for the Olympics. Nack finds a place for the fascinating offbeat story as well as the sensational. Alongside Eli Saslow’s captivating article about an obscure seventeenth-century sport, similar to a giant rugby scrum, carried out in the streets of Kirkwall, Scotland, stands Franz Lidz’s “scoop of the year,” a controversial and rare look into the life of George Steinbrenner, baseball’s largest but recently most enigmatic figure. This year’s collection marks another wonderful addition to “one of the most consistently satisfying titles in the Best American series” (Booklist).Contributors include Scott Price, Rick Bragg, Gary Smith, J.R. Moehringer, and others.

    Susan Orlean's book--about the dog and the legend--is a poignant exploration of the enduring bond between humans and animals. It is also a richly textured history of twentieth-century entertainment and entrepreneurship. It spans ninety years and explores everything from the shift in status of dogs from working farmhands to beloved family members, from the birth of obedience training to the evolution of dog breeding, from the rise of Hollywood to the past and present of dogs in war.

    Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil.Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats."Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy"Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed"We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los AngelesCome home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants!

    An homage to the friend who has “licked away my tears when I’m sad, hopped on her hind legs when I’m happy, and snuggled me when I’m lonely,” here is the story of a bond unlike any other–and an extraordinary dog who stole her way into one man’s heart. Los Angeles writer Michael Konik had always shared his life with dogs. But Ella, a gentle Lab mix, was something special. From the moment Konik laid eyes on Ella, he knew: This dog was meant to be his. An enchantress who charmed all who met her, Ella Guinevere Konik had a truly unique gift–and soon Konik found a way for Ella to share that gift, signing her up for a program that brings dogs into hospitals, nursing homes, and children’s shelters. When Ella turned ten, Konik wanted to thank the “best friend” whose unconditional love had transformed his life–and given comfort and joy to others in need. So a trip to Europe was planned–and for Konik and Ella a once-in-a-lifetime adventure began, one that would strengthen the already-powerful bond between them. As they explore Europe’s most beautiful–and surprisingly dog-friendly–cities, Konik is amazed at the experiences he and Ella can share . . . Arriving in Vienna on July Fourth with Ella wrapped in her American flag scarf . . . Dining at four-star restaurants in Paris . . . Ella swimming in the Danube . . . Taking a gondola ride in Venice . . . Sunbathing in St. Tropez . . . Searching for a canine toilet in Monte Carlo. But soon this journey of friendship, love, and discovery must come to a close. And as Konik heads home, accompanied by the canine friend who “helped teach me what love means,” one thing is certain: Both dog and owner have been changed forever. At once a testament to the power of unconditional love and a celebration of devotion, Ella in Europe is a book for anyone who has ever felt a special connection to a dog they’ve loved.

    His journal - somewhere between Proust and Eeyore - contains apercus by Voltaire or Machiavelli cheek by jowl with hints on dealing with clumsy human feet under the dinner table, amorous interludes alongside run-ins with plumbers, and athletic diversions interspersed with joyous and trying adventures in the French countryside.Boy's reflections on life and the relationship between man and dog - and his occasional revelation about the human condition - come from a refreshingly new perspective, that is, approximately knee-height, making him an irresistible, if often irascible, companion.

    FOUR PAWS, FIVE DIRECTIONS includes descriptions of acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine treatments, with special emphasis placed on clear, uncomplicated approaches to acupressure and diet that you can do at home. And just wait till you see the photographs! These vivid color portraits accurately chart the meridians and acupressure points of thirty-two gorgeous, furry models. Pet owners and students of veterinary medicine alike will appreciate this unique and upbeat guide to interacting more holistically with our beloved feline and canine friends.

    Maddie Lounging On Things follows Maddie’s adventures at play and at rest as she accompanies her owner, Theron, from Utah to Illinois to Mexico and everywhere in between. From cross-country trips sleeping in cars and cheap motels to visiting family near and far, Maddie finds a way to settle in for a nap in any set of circumstances. This collection highlights Maddie’s snuggly, cuddly side, as she curls up in unexpected places, belly flops onto sofas all over the country, and nestles herself into the lap of her much-loved owner. These sweet, touching, and oftentimes silly photos will be absolutely irresistible to Maddie’s fans and dog lovers just getting to know her.

    She delves into matters of the home, the comfort of family, the beauty of Alaska, and the dislocation of divorce.Frank and honest, serious and suddenly playful, A Night Without Armor is a talented artist's intimate portrait of what makes us uniquely human.

    Beau joins Arden, the black retriever, to complete their family. As Beau bounds back into life, the two dogs become Mark Doty's intimate companions, his solace, and eventually the very life force that keeps him from abandoning all hope during the darkest days. Their tenacity, loyalty, and love inspire him when all else fails.Dog Years is a remarkable work: a moving and intimate memoir interwoven with profound reflections on our feelings for animals and the lessons they teach us about life, love, and loss. Mark Doty writes about the heart-wrenching vulnerability of dogs, the positive energy and joy they bring, and the gift they bear us of unconditional love. A book unlike any other, Mark Doty's surprising meditation is radiantly unsentimental yet profoundly affecting. Beautifully written, Dog Years is a classic in the making.

    She loved her work and threw herself into sixty-hour weeks—once walking into a subway pole, getting a concussion, and still going to the office. Her new boyfriend Matt lived across the river in a New Jersey town that had none of the glamour of New York. She liked Matt—a lot—yet she wasn’t sure what to make of weekends in gritty, dilapidated Union City.   But things changed the summer morning Heather discovered a beautiful stray cat and her three black-and-white kittens in Matt’s neighbor’s backyard. When she made eye contact with one of the kittens, she felt something she’d never felt before. She and Matt had to save the little animals. Because if they didn’t, who would?   The crazy world of cat rescue soon drew Heather in. As she and Matt worked together to figure out how to trap, tame, and find homes for their foundlings, she began to question the life she had back in Manhattan. This is the story of how three furry beings taught one woman about love, community, and what truly matters in life.