Committed: Confessions of a Fantasy Football Junkie


Mark St. Amant - 2004
     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten; It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It


Robert Fulghum - 1989
    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris Summary & Study Guide


BookRags - 2010
    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

A Billion Jokes: Volume 1


Peter Serafinowicz - 2012
    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

The Best of Plimpton


George Plimpton - 1990
    Photographs.

Ten Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Years With Pogo


Walt Kelly - 1959
    The official history and commemoration of Pogo's first decade...all wrapped up with a running commentary by Walt Kelly.

Tuna Melts My Heart: The Underdog with the Overbite


Courtney Dasher - 2015
    Now the charming and unconventional pooch has his own book, filled with more than a hundred all-new photographs and witty commentary to give fans an intimate and hilarious look at the Internet’s most prized pup. Tuna’s cartoonish looks—with an exaggerated overbite, a recessed jawline, and a wrinkly neck—are truly one of a kind. And yet his quirky appearance is no match for his unique perspective on life, overcoming his proclivity for staying in bed all day to keep his eye on the (bacon-flavored) prize. Teaming up with his owner, Courtney Dasher, Tuna shares a behind-the-scenes look at his daily exploits, which include sleeping, sunbathing, wearing bow ties, playing with toys, and melting hearts. Packed with witty and endearing images of this ridiculously adorable pup, Tuna Melts My Heart is sure to delight the underdogs in us all!

. . . and Baby Makes Two: A Novel


Judy Sheehan - 2005
    But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.

The Man Inside Me


Tobias Fünke - 1992
    Intimately penned by pioneering Analrapist Dr. Tobias Fünke, Inside Me takes the reader on an incredible journey of self discovery. Through a series of divulgent anecdotes, Fünke plumbs the dark depths of his psyche, recounting his family's struggle with addiction while touring in a pharmaceutically-themed folk music act, and exploring to his own ongoing battle with never-nudity.

A Christmas at Pasidian Palace


S.L. Morgan - 2016
    With peace in their lands, Levi and Reece have been living a life of serenity and peace, raising their three young children at Oxley Manor. Everything seems perfect and well until Levi realizes something: a holiday he knows his wife as always loved on her home planet of Earth has never been celebrated in his realm. In fact, Reece hasn't had the privilege of enjoying her favorite holiday in over six years, and Levi vows to change that. But can he? With his sister's wedding at hand, his own daughter professing her love for another as well, and wanting to have a new holiday introduced to Pemdas...Levi is determined to find a way to make all of this work no matter the sacrifices he must make.

Deadlines Don't Care If Janet Doesn't Like Her Photo


David Thorne - 2021
    Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of a creative agency? No? Well, that’s fine as well. You wouldn’t know you were in an agency anyway; flies have no concept of that kind of thing. All they’re interested in is standing in poo then walking around the rim of your coffee mug.

Aurora Resonant: The Complete Collection


G.S. Jennsen - 2018
    The true universe is unfathomably vast, teeming with life and untold wonders. And it is enslaved.Created by ancient aliens in a daring gambit to understand the nature of the enemy, humanity is now asked to be the savior of a universe not their own. If they are to succeed, they must rise above not only their fractious past but the sins of their genetic ancestors to boldly embrace a future they never dared imagine possible.*RELATIVITY"I'd tell you to be careful, but we wouldn't be here if you'd ever taken that advice. No reason to start now, right?"For millennia the Anadens have ruled the known universe. They believe they've crafted the perfect empire, ordered and impervious to challenge. They believe the fight has been crushed out of the species they subjugate. They are wrong.It's a suicide mission, without a doubt. Alex Solovy and Caleb Marano must steal crucial intelligence from the Anadens' central military headquarters. To succeed, they'll need to navigate a strange universe ruled by a cabal of powerful immortals, populated by aliens they've never met and fueled by technology they've never seen. They're going to need a little help--the kind of help only a suicidally defiant anarchist on the run from more than just personal demons can provide.*RUBICON"We are you--the you that you could have been."The Anaden Directorate has ruled Amaranthe for millennia, subjugating species and galaxies in a neverending quest for control and order. For as many millennia, the anarchs have rebelled, defiantly claiming their own freedom yet without hope of winning it for everyone. Now, an alliance with humans offers a tantalizing chance to at last defeat their immortal masters. But can they trust an ally who looks suspiciously like the enemy?Humanity is the genetic recreation of the Anadens, but genetics aren't everything. Humans like to make their own destiny, and they have overcome great challenges to achieve unprecedented peace and prosperity. But have their trials prepared them for the enemy they now face?"The battle for the heart and soul of Amaranthe will be joined, and we must be unafraid."Amidst the chaos of an escalating war, Caleb's bond with the mysterious diati grows ever more powerful, even as Alex's forays into the hidden dimensions of the universe lead them to unfathomable places. But when the anarchs are pushed to the breaking point and the AEGIS fleet is dealt a devastating blow, Miriam Solovy must find a way to defeat a foe wielding superior technology, firepower and numbers, or else more than one civilization will be lost.*REQUIEMThe end of the world began with a library query...how will it conclude?What began as a chance discovery of an anomalous signal is now a multiverse war between humanity and its genetic ancestors over who controls the levers of life and death. Over who decides what life is and whether it will be allowed to exist. For the ruling Anaden Directorate, victory means immortality. For humanity, defeat means extinction.

Two Guys Fooling Around with the Moon


B. Kliban - 1982
    Brilliantly drawn and bitterly funny, these cartoons thoroughly demonstrate better living through plywood, reaffirm that what's good for business is good for America-even if Your Government in Action has taken to the streets-the Madonna is out of order and Yoga has been made silly. 122,000 copies in print.

How to Move to Canada: A Discontented American's Guide to Canadian Relocation


André Du Broc - 2016
    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

Second Place Sister


Sue Horner - 2014
    Ali” to friends and family. Janelle Jennings: a forty-nine-year-old bestselling romance author, Botox-stuffed narcissist, four-time ex-wife (but who’s counting?), and all-around spoiled brat. What could these two possibly have in common? Uncork the wine. Bring out the calming chocolate. Ali Lawrence’s diva sister, Janelle Jennings, is making an unexpected visit to their hometown of Willoughby, Georgia, and Ali needs help. Since they were schoolgirls, Ali has suffered ridicule and criticism from her prom queen, beauty pageant older sister, whom their mother still coddles at Ali’s expense. Ali is suspicious of her sister’s motives for visiting Willoughby, and especially her odd behavior and uncharacteristically long stay. Something’s not quite right, and Ali is both curious and concerned. During this visit, Ali vows to stop being a bitter doormat and stand up to Janelle. But when Ali discovers a secret that has the potential to destroy Janelle’s career and tarnish her reputation, will she expose her sister, or, for the sake of family unity, will she protect her? Can the sisters finally come to terms with each other, admire their achievements, and ignore their faults, or will their relationship continue to disintegrate, bringing bedlam to Willoughby in the process? Someone has to take the first step: Will it be Janelle in her stepladder stilettos or Ali in her ratty, old running shoes?