Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    Let alone that her campus was near a shifter town. But that all changed when she got into a crash and was rescued by Zeke Blakesley—the wolf shifter who insisted they belonged together.Zeke knew Allegra was his fated mate the moment he caught her scent. Now that he has found the woman who was born to be his, he’ll never let her go.Her AlphaWhen Larissa Nash went looking for her best friend, she never expected to find her in a town full of shifters. She didn’t even know they existed until Kace Lowell clued her in on the secret by shifting into his wolf.Mating a human was complicated for the alpha of the pack, but Kace was more than ready to take on anyone who dared to challenge Larissa’s place in his life.Her TigerCalliope Taft has wanted a hunky shifter of her own ever since her best friends let her in on the secret of their existence. Just when she started to give up hope, a sexy tiger shifter claimed her as his own.Tane Ruslan hadn’t expected to find his fated mate right across the street when he returned home to Timber Ridge. Now that Calliope was where she belonged—with him—Tane intended to make all her dreams come true...and keep her safe from the bad guys who came looking for her.

    . . Don't Tell Me! to test their knowledge of the week's dumbest news against some of the best and brightest-panelists including author and humorist Roy Blount Jr., author and radio anomaly Tom Bodett, syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson ("Ask Amy"), Atlantic Monthly journalist P.J. O'Rourke, Washington Post columnist Roxanne Roberts, and other know-it-alls.

    In these four stand-alone novels, Kinsella’s charming heroines juggle work life, love life—and sometimes, even the afterlife—to heartwarming and hilarious effect. This must-have eBook bundle includes:CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?“Move over, Bridget [Jones]! . . . Kinsella’s witty take on mundane office and family life will really make you laugh out loud.”—Evening Chronicle (UK)Emma Corrigan has a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets. Secrets from her boyfriend, secrets from her mother . . . secrets she wouldn’t share with anyone in the world. Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane, who, she later discovers, just so happens to be Jack Harper, her company’s elusive CEO—a man who now knows every humiliating detail about her.THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS“Another charming winner from the delightful Kinsella.”—BooklistSamantha Sweeting, a workaholic attorney at a London law firm, has just made a huge, unthinkable mistake, wrecking her chance of becoming partner. Going into utter meltdown, she walks out of her office, boards a train, and ends up in the middle of nowhere. Asking for directions at a big, beautiful house, she’s mistaken for an interviewee and is offered a job as their housekeeper. And as she figures out how to turn on the oven and how to open the #@%# ironing board, she finds that this new life may be exactly what she is looking for.REMEMBER ME?“A delicious page-turner.”—USA TodayWhen twenty-eight-year-old Lexi Smart wakes up in a London hospital, she’s in for a big surprise. Having survived a car accident, Lexi has lost a big chunk of her memory—three years to be exact—and somehow she’s gone from being a twenty-five-year-old working girl to being a corporate big shot with a sleek loft, a personal assistant, and a gorgeous husband. Will she ever remember how this all came to be? And what will happen when she does?TWENTIES GIRL“Kinsella [is] a master of comic pacing and feminine wit.”—Publishers WeeklyLara Lington’s imagination seems to be in overdrive. Normal twenty-something young women don’t get visited by ghosts. Or do they? When the spirit of Lara’s great-aunt Sadie mysteriously appears, she has one request: Lara must find a missing necklace that was in Sadie’s possession for more than seventy-five years. And in their mission, these very different “twenties” girls learn some surprising truths from and about each other.BONUS: This eBook bundle also includes an excerpt from Sophie Kinsella's Wedding Night.

    The books that followed, among them Slow Days, Fast Company and Sex and Rage, have seduced generations of readers with their unfailing wit and impossible glamour. What is less well known is that Babitz was a working journalist for the better part of three decades, writing for the likes of Rolling Stone, Vogue, and Esquire, as well as for off-the-beaten-path periodicals like Wet: The Magazine of Gourmet Bathing and Francis Ford Coppola’s short-lived City. Whether profiling Hollywood darlings, getting to the bottom of health crazes like yoga and acupuncture, remembering friends and lovers from her days hobnobbing with rock stars at the Troubadour and art stars at the Ferus Gallery, or writing about her beloved, misunderstood hometown, Los Angeles, Babitz approaches every assignment with an energy and verve that is all her own.I Used to Be Charming gathers nearly fifty pieces written between 1975 and 1997, including the full text of Babitz’s wry book-length investigation into the pioneering lifestyle brand Fiorucci. The title essay, published here for the first time, recounts the accident that came close to killing her in 1996; it reveals an uncharacteristically vulnerable yet never less than utterly charming Babitz.

    'All for Love' is a collection of brief quotations by many hands, chosen and illustrated with exquisite wit by Laura Stoddart.Here the raptures of love are counter-balanced by the rueful, comic, and often rather crisply cynical observations of men and women who have been there before. Divided into sections on the nature of love, the pursuit of love, love and marriage and the love affair, the book ranges from the passionate to the severely practical. We can smile at the silliness of those blinded by love (Shakespeare), feel a pang of heartache for jilted lovers (Dorothy Parker) reflect with Byron that there is little to be said about a happy marriage, and take note of P G Wodehouse advising girls that chumps make the best husbands, while relishing snatches of great poetry about great loves, from Sappho, Marlowe, Wordsworth, John Clare and Thomas Hardy.'All for Love' is a rare treat for everyone who is in love, contemplating marriage, has a broken heart, or has put the whole business behind them, and wants to be cheered up by some brilliant insights and by Laura Stoddart's enchanting visual comments on them.

    A perfect Mother's Day and Father's Day gift, as well as an absolute must-have for new and seasoned parents. 120 illustrations. of color cartoons.

    A decade later, when Charity receives a mysterious letter that promises answers, she returns to North Carolina in search of closure. With the help of her new neighbor, Police Officer Joshua Haven, Charity begins to track down mysterious clues concerning her friend’s abduction. They soon discover that they must work together or both of them will be swallowed by the looming darkness. The Unrelenting Tide by Lynnette Bonner: Widowed former-Hollywood-actress Devynne Lang has been living a quiet life in the San Juan Islands of the Pacific Northwest. For years, she's hoped her fabricated death would keep her identity safe from the public, and more to the point, from the stalker who forced her into hiding. But strange things have been happening around her place and this time, with a daughter to protect, she can’t afford one mistake – even if it means letting Carcen Lang get close enough to help. The End Came with a Kiss by John Michael Hileman: When the world died, my wife died with it. She became like the rest—a beautiful zombie, acting out a scene from our past, over and over again. But I know she is alive inside that dead body. She's been trying to tell me, trying to show me—and I won't stop until I save her. I won't stop until I save them all. Saving Grace by Lesley Ann McDaniel: When an obsessive fan forces opera singer Tracy Fontaine to change her name to Grace Addison and go into hiding in a small Montana town, the last thing she wants is to get to know the locals. Now, not one but two men have worked their way into her daily routine, much to the chagrin of a jealous local girl, who insists on prying into Grace’s past and stirring up deadly trouble. Will Grace find love in Madison Falls…or will her stalker find her? When Night Comes by Dan Walsh: Jack Turner comes back to his alma mater to give a series of lectures for his old history professor. Within days, he starts having bizarre experiences at night. Like he’s traveling back in time, experiencing the epic events in his lectures firsthand. Several college students suddenly start dying in their sleep. The Professor who’d invited Jack begins acting edgy and strange. And there’s this beautiful brunette in the back row. Every time he looks at her, she’s smiling at him. She looks vaguely familiar. Battered Justice by Linda Bradley White: FBI Special Agent Jake Tucker works hard to be an excellent investigator and a great dad. Having Cass McKenna as his partner helps. An investigation into a shooting leads them to a shadowy trail of crime connected with a casino--and the battered body of Jake's ex-wife. Jake is sure Tam's new husband, a powerful state senator, killed her. But Lady Justice can be battered, too. Soon Jake and Cass find themselves in the fight of their lives.

    This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.

    Buried at the bottom of a drawer are a collection of notebooks full of Dan's advice on how to live without him. Pippa's notebook is red and contains his instructions on how to fall in love again. But Dan doesn’t just want Pippa to fall in love with anyone - Dan’s crazy suggestion is that Pippa should date his handsome friend, Mikey Stenton, a known thrill-seeking ladies’ man. Reluctant to follow Dan’s advice, Pippa enters the world of dating. She embarks on a humorous journey of self-discovery, with the help of her children and two best friends.  It isn't long before Pippa is finding it hard to ignore Dan's instructions and Mikey Stenton. Is Mikey really the man that everyone thinks him to be? Or was Dan right, and Mikey’s simply been misunderstood?   An uplifting and heart-warming story about friendship and finding love, the second time around.

    accompanied by evocative illustrations, it is an intimate and unapologetically personal journey through a life the way we remember them, as Keaton puts it "chaotic, fragmented and often grammatically incorrect".

    Her novels and short stories speak to women and men about their most intense relationships and heartfelt feelings.In this collection of five short stories and a novella, Ms. Godwin is at her best. In the title novella, "Mr. Bedford," a young would-be writer spends time in England under the strange and watchful eye of a rather unusual elderly couple; in "Amanuensis," a charming college student cares for a famous but blocked novelist, with unpredictable results; and in "The Angry Year," a rebellious student is drawn to two different kinds of men until she discovers what she has been running to and from.

    After watching it, one of them vanishes...A heart transplant recipient gets much more than he bargained for when he digs into his donor's sinister past...Mourning the death of their son, a young couple is plunged into madness after encountering something otherworldly in the wilderness...DREAMS IN BLACK STATIC is a collection of eight terrifying stories by Ambrose Ibsen, author of The Haunting of Beacon Hill and Asylum. The tales included are:"Me and Mr. Ray" **"Decatur Road" **"Dreams in Black Static" **"Distortional Addict" **"Trim" **"Subterrane Dream" **"Orchard""The Uncanny" **** = Appearing in print for the first time

    But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    Together they provide a complete painting programme.