The Funniest Text Message Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers & Mishaps on Smartphones!

    He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.

    Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! 151+ funny yo momma jokes Hilarious yo momma insults and humor Hours of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... Can aid in story-telling Great for conversation starters Improves conversation and social skills Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes? Yo momma is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows! LOL Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! HAHA Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so tall… she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon! HAHA Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! LOL Yo momma is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so ugly… that she scares blind people! HAHA Yo momma is so hairy… you almost died of rug burn at birth! LOL Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind. This Hilarious Joke Book has 151+ Funny Jokes About... Yo momma is so fat… Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so short… Yo Momma is so tall… Yo momma is so poor… Yo momma is so stupid… Yo momma is so ugly… Yo momma is so hairy… Yo momma is so bald… Yo momma is so lazy… Other yo momma jokes… LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor.

    And what the young gunslinger sees brings him the darkest of nightmares.

    Bernardo was 14 years old when Woodstock took place. Follow his spiritual development from an early age to becoming a full-fledged hippie. His travels will take you to former famous hippie-hangouts like Amsterdam, Ibiza, Formentera and La Gomera. Somewhere along his way he meets Anne, another hippie drop-out. From that point on the story takes you on a very intensive spiritual journey as they struggle to find their way in search of a better world. The story focuses on the idealism of many young people in those days and their quest to find inner peace and what to do with their lives in a world they don’t understand. This novel is not only of historical value, but also addresses a lot of problems that humanity is still facing today, such as the ongoing destruction of mother earth and its resources, the way people treat each other and animals, and the pursuit of inner peace. The message contained in this book promotes tolerance, understanding, love and peace in the world.

    The compendium includes many of Ryan's previously unpublished parodies.

    HEAD TRIP, Part 1 of 6It's the Merc with two mouths! Deadpool travels to the Savage Land to retrieve the severed-but-still-hungry head of the Marvel Zombies Deadpool! Now, Deadpool must dodge Hydra operatives, dinosaurs, and zombie cavemen as he attempts to take his not-so-precious cargo back where it came from: the Marvel Zombies Universe.

    Once you put on The Mask, you're a homicidal lunatic with a bad taste for bad jokes and seriously deranged violence. And nothing -- but nothing -- can kill you!When her boyfriend Stanley died, Kathy thought the weird mask had been lost forever. Now gangsters are dying like flies, victims of everything from comic-book bombs to crossbow shafts, and she knows that somehow it's back. Only Kathy can stop the rampage, but first she has to get around the gangwar erupting around her, the new Mask -- whoever he is -- and the worst bad-guy of all, Walter!

    He grew up on Earth convinced he was the last of his kind. He was wrong. Superman, Supergirl, and the half-Kryptonian, half-human clone Superboy must now face their biggest threat: H'El on Earth.

    Leaving behind a dead-end life, I thought settling in with the Le Roux family was what I was meant to do. But meeting Victor changed everything, and now I can’t imagine surviving without him. I, Sierra Steele never expected sexual pleasure to become my nightmare. My body is reveling in my new predicament, while my mind is screaming at the invasion. But protecting Carly is my purpose, and I’ll do what’s necessary. As long as I stay sane…

    ZOMBO; a top-secret government experiment - part zombie, part human ghoul - with a taste for living flesh. Satire and thrills from this all new hero!MURDER! MAYHEM! MANNERS!When Flight 303 crash-lands on the lethal deathworld known as Chronos, all is not looking well for the surviving passengers. Enter Zombo; a top secret goverment experiment - part zombie, part human ghoul, with a taste for living flesh and aspirations of pop stardom!Written by 2000 AD’s latest rising writing talent, Al Ewing (Judge Dredd) and with gorgeous art by Henry Flint (Judge Dredd, Omega Men), witness the undead as you’ve never seen them before!

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    In the end, our hero found a "cure" of sorts to this horrible outbreak--any zombie that ate Deadpool transformed into another Deadpool. And they lived happily ever after? Not so fast, that wandering hordes of Deadpools might just be worse than flesh-hungry walking corpses.

    Whether fictionalizing his dramatic exploits as a Royal Air Force pilot during World War II or concocting the ingeniously plotted fables that were dramatized on television as Tales of the Unexpected, Dahl was brilliant at provoking in his readers the overwhelming desire to know what happens next—and at satisfying that desire in ways that feel both surprising and inevitable.In this collection:-A Fine Son-Death of an Old Man-Parson’s Pleasure-Poison-The Hitch-Hiker-The Wish-Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat-Dip in the Pool-The Landlady-Skin-Lamb to the Slaughter-Man from the South-The Way Up to Heavan-The Umbrella Man-Taste-The Swan-William and MaryFilled with devilish plot twists, his tales display a tantalizing blend of macabre humor and the absurdly grotesque. Dahl’s creations amuse and shock us in equal measure, gleefully reminding us of what might lurk beneath the surface of the ordinary.

    Untreated, they fester and grow into the diseases of fear, uncertainty and hopelessness. Unaided, the law is blinded by bureaucracy and bound to a justice bent toward the protection even of the criminal. The face of a kinder and gentler nation is destroyed, carved into a harlequin's mask; a grim skull. And the wielders of the scythe laugh, secure in the knowledge that their crimes will go without punishment.They are wrong. In the urban jungle, there is one who stands alone and apart; one who lives not for the law, but only to see justice done. The Punisher reaps a different harvest.Once, he was Frank Castle, loving husband and father. A tour in Vietnam had shown him what war was. Part of him died there, but a precious part stayed alive, determined to return to the family he loved, and the peace and freedom that was his America. Part of him held on to live, until his family died in a hail of mob gunfire, victims of the wrong place and wrong time.Daily, criminals greedily cut their portions from the souls of the weak and weary, the foolish and the frightened. One man senses how the guilty feed like parasites on the heart of the American Dream. One man hears when evil laughs at the law. One man sees clearly that the most powerful criminals have placed themselves above the law. One man has become their judge, their jury.One man has become their Punisher.