Observe. Ridicule.You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth. It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site.Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy…I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again!Your “Cool” High School Teacher…Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking,swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me either. I’m just wearing it as a goof.The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music…Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.

    In his screenplays and short stories, Ethan Coen surprises and delights us with a rich brew of ideas, observations, and perceptions. In his first collection of poems he does much the same. The range of his poems is remarkable–funny, ribald, provocative, sometimes raw, and often touching and profound.In these poems Coen writes of his childhood, his hopes and dreams, his disappointments, his career in Hollywood, his physically demanding love affair with Mamie Eisenhower, and his decade-long battle with amphetamines that produced some of the lengthier poems in the collection. You will chuckle, nodding with recognition as you turn the pages, perhaps even stopping occasionally to read a poem. Handsomely and durably bound between hard covers, this is a book that will stand up to most readers’ attempts to destroy it.

    An enthralling read!’- Shraddha Sahi, Author of Anamika Khanna Falls in Love & The Case of the Counterfeit CurrencyEvery human wears a mask. Behind the cheerful facade lies faith, hope, trust, love, despair, confidence, insecurity, et al. Everyone has a story. A DINK couple finding Work From Home a challenge... The Couple who wasn’t one... A rigid person who deviates from a lifelong habit... Two people who remain in touch for 35 years, without talking... A daughter who has sacrificed her dreams for her mother… A fictional potpourri of extraordinary narratives of ordinary people who have more to their everyday lives beneath the surface, these stories reflect myriad hues of human behaviour.From the author of the suspense thriller ‘The Lost Identity’ comes an anthology that touches the human heart. ‘The story is so well crafted that it keeps the reader intrigued from start to end, eager to know what happens next!’ - Review for Smita’s First Book ‘The Lost Identity’

    EIGHT New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors bring you eight stories of memorable weddings, spilling over with nervous tingles and overwhelming moments. Experience the euphoria of wedding day bliss, cry a river of happiness and celebrate the joy over and over again with these happy ever after tales. Patricia Rosemoor – A Rancher’s Vow – Reed Quarrels asks Alcina Dale to marry him so he can save the Curly! Ranch, not knowing Alcina has been in love with him forever. Taylor Lee – Undercover Wedding – They called her the Ice Princess. That was before the sexy police commander turned up the heat and proved that fire does melt ice. It couldn’t have been a more perfect wedding until a group of would-be assassins crash the party. Natalie Ann – True Love – Shattered dreams vs. a new beginning. Can a young widow with a two-year-old heal this wounded warrior? Tamara Ferguson – Two Hearts in Accord- When active duty wounded warriors lieutenants Anna Drummond and Neil Harrison insist that the last thing they want is a long term relationship, will TWO HEARTS IN ACCORD finally admit that it’s love? Stephanie Queen – Margo and George Forever? – Will Margo make it to the alter in spite of George’s family and the circus of a wedding they planned? Suzanne Jenkins – A Greektown Wedding - Relationships are blooming as Spring approaches, but will the Detroit Police Department be enough to keep the out of control lovers in check? Alicia Street – Maybe Lovers – Can a hot doc with his own troubles convince a cynical bartender that it's okay to dream of love? Mimi Barbour – My Cheeky Angel - Can a tomboy change to attract a man?

    Each story is accompanied by a ghastly illustration from the mind of Andy Sciazko... the kind of illustrations that will disturb you in the best way possible.

    Suspenseful and mysterious, this romantic suspense series will have you on the edge of your seat. This bundle contains four full-length novels and one novella: Wife Number Seven His Only Wife Mother Before Wife Just Keep Sweet Prophet Takes All Praise for The Compound Series: "The Compound series is a fresh, unique voice in the romance world and I soaked up every single minute of it. I can’t recommend this series enough!"- C, Prisoners of Print "Melissa Brown's talent shines bright in this unforgettable series. Prepare to be sucked in until the very last page." --USA Today Bestselling Author, Tiffany King "Extremely underestimated and brilliantly written, the Compound Series will take you on a journey. Now that this series is out as a whole, you owe it to yourself to read up on Melissa’s Compound world. Jumping in with an open mind and abandoning all thoughts of traditional romance will set you up for a reading adventure."- Pamela, The Book Avenue Synopsis of Wife Number Seven (Book 1 in the series) Lipstick. Bright, red lipstick. Nothing but lipstick. Even though it’s against our faith to wear a color that screams of sexual promiscuity and deviant behavior, I’m not allowed to protest. But, I want to. So badly. You see, there’s more to me than the braid that spills down my back. More to me than the layers of heavy fabric that maintain my modesty. And so much more than the oppressive wedding band that adorns my finger--the same band that each of my sister wives wear. So much more. To protest would be sinful. I must keep sweet, that is my duty. So I’ll wear the lipstick. I’ll do as I’m told. And I’ll do my best to silence the resistance within me, to push him from my mind. If only my heart would do the same.

    

     The true story of how mildly successful guitarist and New York Times writer Dan Crane relinquished his instrument and became Björn Türoque (pronounced "b-yorn too-RAWK"), the second greatest air guitarist in the nation. This exploration of the international air guitar sub-culture addresses the issue of dedicating oneself to an invisible art in order to achieve the ultimate goal of "airness"-that is, when air guitar transcends the "real" art that it imitates and becomes an art form in and of itself.

    My Man Jeeves 1919Right Ho, Jeeves 1922Death At The Excelsior, Others 1914

    The book was so successful, he wrote a series. The series was so successful, he spent the next year releasing other projects he’d been working on. Now, for the first time the stories he wrote while learning his craft are available on Kindle and in paperback.From people stuck on roofs, to stalkers following their wives, to weight watchers’ meetings, this book is filled with oddballs, thieves, lowlifes, and other such lovelies. This book also contains the side story to Pete’s debut novel ‘So Low, So High’, so if you’re interested in finding out more about Fred, then this is the place.Short stories:Noang lishHeroLose-loseSo low, so highWeighTWATcherSMulti-storeyApt PupilOne flew over the policeman’s bonnetWin-winInside I’m dancing*Contained in this book are also samples of all Pete’s other books. The short stories amount to around eleven thousand words.

    Reading it is like attending a late night secret banquet where you know each course will serve up something unexpected, forbidden and unforgettably chilling. Take your private seat now for 50 luscious courses of terror, from 50 of the strongest voices in modern horror.

     WereBabies is a collection of Shapeshifter romances featuring one common theme, producing a BABY! There is something for everyone as the box set includes WereWolves, WereBears, WereDragons, WereTigers, WereLions and even Vampires! All of these books have been top 10 bestsellers in their category on Amazon with some even being #1 bestsellers. And do not forget, each book can be read standalone so you will never be left hanging! This is your chance to own them all for one LOW price! No catches! The 10 BREATHTAKING Paranormal Pregnancy Novels included in this collection for you are... (Warning: All these books contain scenes of a sexual nature) Book 1 -The Lion's Love Child - Jade White (OVER 100 5* REVIEWS!) A hot one night stand with a handsome man named Dylan got extremely complicated when Grace discovered she was somehow pregnant. Little did she know, Dylan was actually a WereLion and she was now carrying the Lion's love child.. Book 2 – The Spawn Of The Vampire - Samantha Snow (A #1 BESTSELLER) 9 months after a passionate night with the handsome Victor Titus, Shawna King now has a beautiful baby boy. Only problem is, she has no idea that the baby's father is a vampire... Book 3 – The Alpha's Surrogate - Angela Foxxe (A #1 BESTSELLER) Alpha Wolf Richard Dallas has no choice but to hire a human female to be surrogate and produce a cub for him. When Reign accepted the job of being a surrogate she had no idea that her job was set to be even more important then she could ever have imagined.. Book 4 – The Seed Of The White Tiger -JJ Jones After being impregnated by White Tiger shifter Gregor, Dominique is now carrying a cub. Carrying a cub means she is considered Gregor's mate and this now makes her a target for his enemies too.... Book 5 – The Tiger's Pregnant Bride - Bonnie Burrows A friends-with-benefits arrangement was all it was for WereTiger Sable and curvy Olivia. However, when Olivia mysteriously fell pregnant this meant that under the law that Sable follows, they MUST marry or face execution... Book 6 – The Seed Of The Dragon - Serena Rose (A #1 Bestseller) 5 years on from a fling with a handsome stranger, Rachel is living a happy life raising her son. Little does she know, her son has inherited his father's dragon shifter abilities and Rachel's life is about to change again in a way she could never have imagined... Book 7 – A Billionaire Bear's Baby - Amy Star (*A BOX SET EXCLUSIVE*) Life could not get better, a handsome man, a dream home endless amounts of money and a baby on the way. However, Tiffany is unaware of Billionaire Gus's secret life as a WereBear but soon she would find out in the most shocking way possible... Book 8 – The PlayTiger Billionaire - Maria Amor Playboy WereTiger Billionaire Nick needs an heir to pass his fortune on to if the worst was to happen. So he hired a surrogate mother called Cynthia to produce a child for him and Cynthia was about to find out just how dangerous the tiger life really was...

    Desperate to win back his father’s approval, the boy hatches a plan involving his father’s love of slasher films. If the boy can become a real-life slasher right out of the movies, it just might be an opportunity to make his father proud again, no matter what the cost.In Iain Rob Wright’s “The Reckoning,” the year is 2035 and people live inside their individual worlds. Amelie’s ‘pod’ is a marvel of tech-centric existence, taking care of her every need. But when a serial killer that the press have named ’The Reckoning’ comes calling for Amelie, her futuristic living space turns deadly.In William Malmborg's "Billy's Blade," a budding serial killer bites off more than he can chew when he tries to stab Stacy Collins to death on the Prairie Path. A ruthless investigative journalist, Stacy goes on the offensive, goading the killer with unflattering articles, all in hopes of sparking a second encounter. Will Billy and Stacy meet again?Jeff Strand’s “Twentieth Anniversary Screening” recounts the grisly events surrounding the terrible slasher flick THE ROOFER, remembered only because an obsessed fan tried to reenact the murders as they played out on the screen. When the same theater shows the film twenty years later, will the warnings that this is a really, really bad idea be justified?

    The prospect is about as exciting as a wet blanket, but with her rogue spy ex-husband after her, Charlie's willing to tough it out.After all, everything's going great... Charlie's getting to bond with her retired spy grandmother, enjoyed the company of the resident cat and learned how to make a mean vanilla cupcake. That's until she gives one of those cupcakes to a guest and they drop dead seconds later.It's murder, and Charlie's the prime suspect. The clock is ticking--can she solve the mystery before her ex finds her?Join Charlie and Gamma on their adventures, as they solve mysteries, take care of kittens and hide from their worst enemies in Gossip, Texas. Grab your copy today!Books in this set include:Vanilla VendettaStrawberry SinCocoa Conviction

    Until now, those stories have been unpublished and unavailable for others to read but - due to popular demand - he has compiled them in this collection. Included within this collection: Some Drabbles To Get You Started Under The Safe House (novella) Room To Breathe (novella) The First Cuddle (short story) Santa’s Secret (short story) Smoking Kills (short story) Needles (short story) Cold (short story) Sleeping Dogs (short story) Ugly (short story) About the author: Matt Shaw is the published author, and film director, of over 200 stories including his infamous black cover range of extreme horrors. In those titles he is known for pushing boundaries and has been nominated for multiple awards within the "splatterpunk" genre but do not be fooled - Shaw isn't only capable of writing the extremes. His dark psychological horrors are known for getting under the skin of the readers, causing both sleepless nights and restless dreams... PRAISE FOR THE AUTHOR “There is a ferocity about Matt Shaw's writing that is both welcome and also necessary when it comes to horror.” - Shaun Hutson, author of "Slugs" Categories for "UNDER THE SAFE HOUSE & OTHER STORIES" - Horror - Psychological Fiction - Depression - Grief - Bullying - Suspense horror