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Funny, But Not Vulgar by George Orwell


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The Trumpet-Major


Thomas Hardy - 1880
    In The Trumpet-Major, the tale of a woman courted by three competing suitors during the Napoleonic wars, he explores the subversive effects of ordinary human desire and conflicting loyalties on systematized versions of history. This edition restores Hardy's original punctuation and removes the bowdlerisms forced upon the text on its initial publication.

Tales of Terror (Dracula, Frankenstein, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, The Phantom of the Opera, and 13 More Works of Vampires, Ghosts, and Classic Horror)


UnknownHenry James - 1999
     Links to free, full-length audio recordings of the novels and stories in this collection. An individual, active Table of Contents for each book accessible from the Kindle "go to" feature. Perfect formatting in rich text compatible with Kindle's Text-to-Speech features. A low, can't-say-no price! Sixteen Complete WorksEight novels and eight shorts ranging in length, style, and subject. Works included:Novels: Dracula Frankenstein The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde The Invisible Man The Phantom of the Opera The Canterville Ghost The Turn of the Screw The Island of Doctor Moreau Short Stories: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow The Monkey's Paw The Yellow Wallpaper Edgar Allen Poe: The Raven The Pit and the Pendulum The Black Cat The Tell-Tale Heart The Fall of the House of Usher Additional Fan ResourcesAlso included are special features for any horror enthusiast, including: A comprehensive list of the many film and television adaptations of the works included in this collection. A Halloween Viewing Guide: a recommended viewing list of movies to get you in the mood for Halloween, including family favorites, classic movie monsters, and modern horror films. The History of Halloween: a fascinating look into the origins of the holiday, the varieties of modern traditions, and a look into how Halloween is celebrated around the world. Links to free, full-length audio recordings of the books in this collection.

Merrily Ever After


P. Jameson - 2019
    After nine long years of trying to grow their family into the perfect dream come true, fated mates, Ryan and Layna, are ready to give up. Not on each other but on their dreams. When they're given the chance to help an abandoned baby temporarily, they're faced with a pain harsher than what they've already been through. The pain of hope. But this little one isn't what any of them expected, and when the fiery truth comes out, hearts are bound to melt.A visit from a shadow of Christmas past, a lost child, and the reunion P. Jameson fans have been asking for, all wrapped up with a shiny bow as we revisit the Ouachitas in Merrily Ever After.

The Seven Deadly Virtues: 18 Conservative Writers on Why the Virtuous Life is Funny as Hell


Jonathan V. Last - 2014
    The Seven Deadly Virtues sits down next to readers at the bar, buys them a drink, and an hour or three later, ushers them into the revival tent without them even realizing it.   The book’s contributors include Sonny Bunch, Christopher Buckley, David “Iowahawk” Burge, Christopher Caldwell, Andrew Ferguson, Jonah Goldberg, Michael Graham, Mollie Hemingway, Rita Koganzon, Matt Labash, James Lileks, Rob Long, Larry Miller, P. J. O’Rourke, Joe Queenan, Christine Rosen, and Andrew Stiles. Jonathan V. Last, senior writer at the Weekly Standard, editor of the collection, is also a contributor. All eighteen essays in this book are appearing for the first time anywhere.   In the book’s opening essay, P. J. O’Rourke observes: “Virtue has by no means disappeared. It’s as much in public view as ever. But it’s been strung up by the heels. Virtue is upside down. Virtue is uncomfortable. Virtue looks ridiculous. All the change and the house keys are falling out of Virtue’s pants pockets.”   Here are the virtues everyone (including the book’s contributors) was taught in Sunday school but have totally forgotten about until this very moment.  In this sanctimony-free zone:   • Joe Queenan observes: “In essence, thrift is a virtue that resembles being very good at Mahjong. You’ve heard about people who can do it, but you’ve never actually met any of them.” • P. J. O’Rourke notes: “Fortitude is quaint. We praise the greatest generation for having it, but they had aluminum siding, church on Sunday, and jobs that required them to wear neckties or nylons (but never at the same time). We don’t want those either.” • Christine Rosen writes: “A fellowship grounded in sociality means enjoying the company of those with whom you actually share physical space rather than those with whom you regularly and enthusiastically exchange cat videos.” • Rob Long offers his version of modern day justice: if you sleep late on the weekend, you are forced to wait thirty minutes in line at Costco. • Jonah Goldberg offers: “There was a time when this desire-to-do-good-in-all-things was considered the only kind of integrity: ‘Angels are better than mortals. They’re always certain about what is right because, by definition, they’re doing God’s will.’ Gabriel knew when it was okay to remove a mattress tag and Sandalphon always tipped the correct amount.” • Sonny Bunch dissects forbearance, observing that the fictional Two Minutes Hate of George Orwell’s 1984 is now actually a reality directed at living, breathing people. Thanks, in part, to the Internet, “Its targets are designated by a spontaneously created mob—one that, due to its hive-mind nature—is virtually impossible to call off.”   By the time readers have completed The Seven Deadly Virtues, they won’t even realize that they’ve just been catechized into an entirely different—and better—moral universe.

TSOG: The Thing That Ate the Constitution


Robert Anton Wilson - 2002
    have a drug TSAR(!) who proudly destroys millions of lives and bullies the governments of the rest of the world into prosecuting an insane war on [some] drugs? How did a Nazi spy come to have an enormous influence on current U.S. foreign policy? Will the 'war on terrorism' put the last nail in the coffin of YOUR rights? Would Hannibal Lecter make a better president that George W. Bush?Bob's keen wit skewers those who are forcing us all into slavery, and warns us that there is little time left. How long will it be before Bob's books are banned as 'literary terrorism'?

Curtsies & Conspiracies - FREE PREVIEW EDITION (The First 87 Pages)


Gail Carriger - 2013
    A conspiracy is afoot--one with dire implications for both supernaturals and humans. Sophronia must rely on her training to discover who is behind the dangerous plot-and survive the London Season with a full dance card.In this sequel to New York Times bestselling Etiquette & Espionage, class is back in session with more petticoats and poison, tea trays and treason. Gail's distinctive voice, signature humor, and lush steampunk setting are sure to be the height of fashion this season.

I Just Remembered


Carl Reiner - 2014
    At least that’s how it works when you’re dealing with the legendary mind of Carl Reiner. In his 2013 memoir, “I Remember Me,” Carl treated us to ninety years of professional and personal anecdotes, ranging from witty, weird and heartwarming to insightful, informative, and always funny – usually a combination of at least two, sometimes three or four, of the aforementioned. Carl had taken us on a nostalgic trip through every corner, every nook and cranny, of his life. Or so we thought. But over the next two years, new “old memories” kept coming… and coming… and coming… until, before too long, another book was born. In addition to the above adjectives, “I Just Remembered” adds a whole new batch: the mysterious saga of the gold money clip and the rubber bands; the beautiful and bizarre Joyce Kuntz; the shocking story of Jack Parr and Fidel Castro; never before heard revelations about William Shakespeare; whimsical journeys down the information superhighway via Twitter, Google and YouTube; and for good measure, truly useful health tips for a long and happy life. “I Just Remembered” is the perfect companion to “I Remember Me,” and it will have you asking, over and over, “How could he have forgotten that?!” He didn’t. He just remembered.

Tea Party Fairy Tales


James Finn Garner - 2012
    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

A Bottle Full of Djinn / Loony Town / Mummy Issues


Paula Lester - 2019
    She's the Chief of Staff at a retirement home, which doesn't sound odd on its own, but when you consider it's a retirement home for witches and other paranormals, the strange factor ratchets up.  And, with a facility full of partly senile but still powerful witches, things go hilariously awry fast. This e-book contains the first three books in the Sunnyside Retired Witches Community series. Book 1: A Bottle Full of Djinn: Zoey Rivers has a pretty great job as Head of Staff at Sunnyside Retired Witches Community. She's good at handling the magical messes that are part and parcel of providing a home for elderly (and some slightly senile) witches. But when the messes turn from slightly sloppy to hugely horrible, Zoey realizes there's more involved than just her residents. If she doesn't figure out who's causing havoc at the Home, the place might not be standing for much longer. If you love crime capers with magic, mayhem, and mystery, you'll adore Zoey Rivers and her comical crew of witch retirees. Please note: This book is a crime caper, not a murder mystery. Book 2: Loony Town: Caring for elderly witches at the retirement home in Sunnyside, California is a full-time job for Zoey Rivers. But when one of them is blitzing, causing magic to act even weirder than normal, things get…well, downright wacky. And when a local insurance agent winds up dead, some of the people Zoey is responsible for become the prime suspects. As the zaniness of the magical blips continues and things get crazier and crazier, Zoey has to work fast and try to stay one step ahead to keep her charges out of jail, figure out who is causing the chaotic blitzing so she can fix it, and also figure out who the real killer is. It’s a tough job, but she's determined to do it. The people who live at Sunnyside Retired Witches Community are counting on her. And she’s not about to let them down now. Book 3: Mummy Issues: Sunnyside Retirement Witches Community gets its fair share of visitors. Some of them like the entertainment and others enjoy volunteering. But when one of the sight-seers ends up dead, Zoey Rivers has to figure out what happened. The residents come up with a fantastic idea: Since the retirement complex seems to have more than its fair share of murders, they figure it might be a good idea to have a psychic on staff. So, Zoey hires Iris. And all the information she pulls from the ghosts of the growing list of victims points to Zoey herself. Except the clues aren't pointing to her. They're fingering someone she'd thought was long dead.Sunnyside Retirement Witches Community gets its fair share of visitors. Some of them like the entertainment and others enjoy volunteering. But when one of the sight-seers ends up dead, Zoey Rivers has to figure out what happened. The residents come up with a fantastic idea: Since the retirement complex seems to have more than its fair share of murders, they figure it might be a good idea to have a psychic on staff. So, Zoey hires Iris. And all the information she pulls from the ghosts of the growing list of victims points to Zoey herself. Except the clues aren't pointing to her. They're fingering someone she'd thought was long dead.

The Investigator: Fifty Years of Uncovering the Truth


Terry Lenzner - 2013
    At the Justice Department in 1964, he investigated the murder of three civil rights workers—an infamous event that inspired the film Mississippi Burning. He led the national Legal Services Program for the poor, prosecuted organized crime in New York, defended peace activist Philip Berrigan, and represented CIA operative Sid Gottlieb. As a counsel to the Senate Watergate Committee, Lenzner investigated Nixon’s dirty tricks and followed the money trail that led to the Watergate burglary and cover-up. He was the first person to deliver a congressional subpoena to a sitting U.S. president. He uncovered cost overruns of the Alaska oil pipeline, helped identify the Unabomber, investigated the circumstances of Princess Diana’s death, and cleared Hugo Chavez of false corruption charges. Lenzner also worked with President Clinton’s defense team during the impeachment hearings.The Investigator is a riveting personal account: Lenzner astounds with anecdotes of scandal and intrigue, offers lessons in investigative methods, and provides an eye-opening look behind some of the most talked-about media stories and world events of our time.

All Saints Hotel and Cocktail Lounge


Nathan Monk - 2021
    Mayhem. Millennials.What was supposed to be a night of hope and change unwittingly launches an adventure into chaos as five friends uncover a dark past, a secret society, and a sinister plan. Leo, Joy, Shane, Clementine, and Nick have known each other since high school, but life has taken each of them in vastly different directions. Our story begins as they all gather together to celebrate the inauguration of President Barack Obama.In Nathan Monk's latest novel he weaves together a story that spans decades set against the backdrop of friendships built around a neighborhood bar. Using his powerful storytelling and immersive characters he transports us through the troubles of the millennial dilemma.The All Saints Hotel and Cocktail Lounge is a stunning story of collective trauma. The book travels through time looking at major events from 9/11 and the Columbine Massacre to the technology boom through the lens of an unsuspecting cast of characters who are simply attempting to survive a world that doesn't seem built for them.This Southern Gothic tale confronts some of the darkest parts of our modern history and takes the reader on a journey through the perils of the Great Recession, the Occupation of Wall Street, and right up the edge of a global pandemic that will transform the world as we know it. Who will survive the unprecedented events that unfold?Not even student debt is as perilous as the adventure you are about to embark on. No amount of cutting back on avocado toast and caramel lattes can save you from the dangers ahead.In his unique style, Nathan creates characters that are at times hard to like but impossible not to love. This tale is full of betrayal, romance, and kitchen grease as this rag-tag group of friends attempt to make the world a better place and are confronted with the question, "Do we even have the power to make any meaningful change at all and if not, is there even hope?"Pull up a barstool, light 'em if you got 'em, and pour yourself a tall glass of suspense and romance masquerading as casual sex as you journey into the seedy halls of the All Saints Hotel and Cocktail Lounge.

The Complete Alice & the Hunting of the Snark


Lewis Carroll - 1987
    

Fly Fishing with Darth Vader: And Other Adventures with Evangelical Wrestlers, Political Hitmen, and Jewish Cowboys


Matt Labash - 2010
    Considered one of American’s most brilliant writers by the journalism community, this long-awaited book debut presents Labash at his very best. A latter day Leibling, Labash’s collection will take its place alongside books by writers such as Calvin Trillin and P.J. O’Rourke..• A unique voice that’s well-connected: Labash’s well-informed insights, self-deprecating wit, and provocative candor feature regularly in The Weekly Standard and have also appeared in Washingtonian Magazine , American Spectator , and on Slate.com. Extremely well-liked and respected, his media contacts are many and varied. He has declined invitations to appear on everything from HBO Sports to Meet the Press —but is finally willing to make the rounds. As LA Weekly wrote after his Detroit piece, “it’s not new to give props to Matt Labash.”.• Remarkable collection: Full of wit, insight, and a trenchant grasp of the American scoundrel, Labash’s masterful profiles of men on the nation’s fringe—Pirate Kingfish Gov. Edwin Johnson, The Right Reverend Dr. Al Sharpton, Dirty Trickster Roger Stone—are published alongside devastating pieces on such dead or dying cities as Detroit and New Orleans; work celebrating such joyous, but overlooked pockets of American culture as Revival music and Rebirth Brass Band; and scathing, hilarious briefs on the nation’s great phonies—Michael Moore, Louis Farrakhan, Donald Trump to name a few..

An Inconvenient Book: Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems


Glenn BeckCarol Lynne - 2007
    The solutions to these problems aren't convenient, but radio and TV host Glenn Beck doesn't care about being convenient.

Out of My Mind


Andy Rooney - 2006
    Millions more read his weekly newspaper column. Why? Because Rooney tells it like it is. But Rooney fans have never seen him quite like this. Andy Rooney is plain frustrated by what's going on in America and the world. Why can't Americans--let alone our president--speak English anymore? How do we expect to fight a terrorist enemy that we can't even locate? And when did capitalism go so terribly wrong? This book isn't all heady stuff, though. Readers will also get the familiar--and hysterical--Rooney gripes about everyday foibles, such as the impossibility of physically locating your driver's registration, of purchasing a genuinely healthy breakfast cereal, or of enjoying a college reunion--unless everyone ends up in their nighties, that is. PublicAffairs is pleased to present its fifth collaboration with Andy Rooney. Loyal Rooney fans and anyone who enjoys a good laugh at life's absurdities will be thrilled to add it to the bookshelf during the holidays.