Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Home alone with her eccentric home-brewing father and a Jack Russell, she is just getting her life back on track when her job at the local museum is threatened by her first love and nemesis, Councillor David Barton, who intends to sell the beautiful old building to a pub chain. But help is at hand from her colleagues: Jackie, a former Greenham Common warrior; Tish, a flamboyant historian; and Carol, mega-flirt. Plus newcomer and former campaigner, Tom. Who happens to be a widower. And quite sexy. And also the owner of a Jack Russell. The key to saving the day and putting the town back on the tourist map could lie just within reach—when reaching for a cold gin and tonic, that is. Mother's Ruin to some, gin is the making of Jen when she comes together with her friends and family to save the museum and open an artisan distillery in the basement. With its debauched local history of smuggling, can gin be the town's savior and bring love back into Jen's life?

    Bigger, stronger and more cunning than any other predator in the woods, this murderer has only existed in legends and the nightmares of the few to survive an encounter … until now. Dr. Jake Sanders, world-renowned expert on predators and predatory behavior, is on a quest to find the monster that did far worse than wound him. Deputy Julie Reed, a strong, beautiful and lethal enforcer of justice, fearlessly pursues a violent adversary unaware of the twisted path destiny will lay before her. Simon Standing Elk, a recovering alcoholic well on the road to atoning for past sins until a terrifying encounter that now threatens not only his life, but his soul as well. Three different people. Three very different backgrounds. One secret organization. This is the story of events that brought them together and, if they’re not careful, could destroy them all – or worse.

    Down-on-his-luck Clay Chandler takes the marshal’s job out of desperation. Clay has barely settled into the job when Vance Hopkins drunkenly guns down a black man. Clay arrests Vance for murder, but Wes Hopkins and his gang run Topaz, and they demand that Vance be released -- or else. Clay has given his word to uphold the law, though, and he’ll do that even if it means losing his life. No one else in Topaz thinks a dead black man is worth taking on the Hopkins gang -- no one but a former slave named Essex Johnson, who was the murdered man’s friend. Ex-Confederate Clay and Essex can’t stand each other, but Clay reluctantly swears Essex in as his deputy. The two of them are aided by a prostitute named Julie, who had her face carved up by the Hopkins gang. Wes Hopkins gives Clay a deadline to release Vance, or the gang is going to come and take him. The question is, will the Hopkins gang kill Clay and Essex, or will they kill each other first?

    What is needed is a clear and simple method of learning one scale in all positions, and of learning all scales in one position. Guitarists need to be able to call up any scale to their fingertips instantaneously regardless of key, mode, string, or position and they need to be able to do so without memorizing hundreds of pages of diagrams. Fortunately, this is not only possible, but it is also incredibly simple. This booklet will teach you how.

    . .We know what life was like for Victoria and Albert, but what was it like for a commoner? How did it feel to cook with coal and wash with tea leaves? Drink beer for breakfast and clean your teeth with cuttlefish? Dress in whalebone and feed opium to the baby? Catch the omnibus to work and wash laundry while wearing a corset? How To Be A Victorian is a new approach to history, a journey back in time more intimate, personal, and physical than anything before. It is one told from the inside out--how our forebears interacted with the practicalities of their world--and it's a history of those things that make up the day-to-day reality of life, matters so small and seemingly mundane that people scarcely mention them in their diaries or letters. Moving through the rhythm of the day, from waking up to the sound of a knocker-upper man poking a stick at your window, to retiring for nocturnal activities, when the door finally closes on twenty-four hours of life, this astonishing guide illuminates the overlapping worlds of health, sex, fashion, food, school, work, and play.If you liked The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England: A Handbook for Visitors to the Fourteenth Century or 1000 Years of Annoying the French, you will love this book.

    He successfully led the country through its greatest internal crisis, the American Civil War, preserved the Union, and ended slavery. He issued his Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, and promoted the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, abolishing slavery.This Special Congressional Collectors Edition contains Volume One of the Selected Papers and Writings of Mr. Lincoln, carefully selected from the Lincoln Archives by historian Rutger M. Lamont, a recognized expert in Civil War history and a respected Lincoln scholar. It includes The Gettysburg Address and the Emancipation Proclamation, two of the most significant historical documents by Lincoln, and a cornerstone of our nation's independence. It also contains an Introduction by Theodore Roosevelt, with 'The Essay on Lincoln' by Carl Schurz and 'The Address on Lincoln' by Joseph Choate. This book provides the reader with a rare glimpse into the intellect, humor and wit that made Abraham Lincoln one of the most important political figures not only in American History, but a man for and of the world at large and an icon for the ages."This book is quintessential Lincoln, capturing the essence of one of our greatest historical leaders" - The Congressional Record "This is the definative collection of Lincoln's writings. Rutger M. Lamont's Special Collectors Edition should stand the test of time and is a monumental achievement." - Washington Post "Easy to read and highly thought provoking." - U.S. News and World Report

    Gemma died from acute myeloid leukaemia, just three days after being diagnosed.In Love, Interrupted, Simon is brutally honest about his journey through grief, and opens up about how close he came to ending his own life. Simon didn’t know how to carry on without Gemma; he just knew that, for the sake of his eight-year old son, he had to find a way …Love, Interrupted is a moving story of love, loss, faith, and family.

    She deregulated industry, brought the unions to their knees, privatized state-owned enterprises, waged war to defend the Falkland Islands, and teamed up with Ronald Reagan to win the Cold War. Her courage was remarkable and her character larger than life. She was a woman who brooked no fools, and her tongue could be rapier sharp. Here is the inspiring story of Britain's first and only woman prime minister.

    But new science reveals fat isn't what's hurting our health. This Spotlight Story from TIME explores America's antifat obsession and how it is impacting our health.

    He was depressed, overweight, and struggling to handle his responsibilities as a husband and father. After undergoing a sleep study, Volk was diagnosed with sleep apnea, a medical condition that afflicts tens of millions, though roughly 80 percent go undiagnosed. For people with sleep apnea — a sleep disorder in which breathing is interrupted during sleep, depriving the brain and body of oxygen — the effects are serious, even deadly.Volk’s doctor explained the grave danger he was in — so oxygen deprived that he could die any night. Unable to secure a life insurance policy because of his condition, and facing a full-fledged break down, Volk determined to do something about it.In Breathless, the acclaimed author of Fringe-ology brings readers along on his quest save his family — and his life. When a radical new surgery offers a cure, Volk must decide whether the chance for a better life outweighs the risks and the strain such a procedure could have on the people he cares about most. Harrowing, intimate, and illuminating, Breathless offers an unprecedented look at one man's desperate journey to overcome a once-chronic diagnosis.Steve Volk is a journalist, author and TV personality, with a book Fringe-ology: How I Tried to Explain Away the Unexplainable—But Couldn't, and an upcoming History Channel show, “The Dark Files.” Volk is a contributing editor at Discover magazine, and lives in the Philadelphia area with his wife and twin sons.

    G. Narasingha for the 21st Century. Includes: * Complete eighteen chapters with a brief history to set the context * Sanskrit text for each verse with english transliteration & translation * Straightforward & concise commentaries * Sanskrit pronunciation guide * Glossary of terms & names * Linked 'Verse Index' for both Gita & Quoted verses The sublime message of Bhagavad Gita is timeless and is applicable in every facet of life. Within the Bhagavad Gita are the answers to the mysteries of existence – our real purpose in this world, how we should act and why we suffer, or are oftentimes helpless in our struggle for survival. To understand the Bhagavad Gita one must enter into the spirit of the Gita by accepting the path of devotion (bhakti). Accordingly, the Gita’s message cannot be properly understood by mental speculation. To this end, the sublime process illuminated within the Gita must be accepted as given by the speaker Himself, Sri Krishna. The philosophy of Bhagavad Gita is clear for the sincere reader, yet for some, approaching the Gita may seem daunting – its language too ancient. However, this obstacle is easily overcome by a straightforward translation and commentary (Anuvritti). The requirement for a translation and commentary on the Gita is as necessary today as anytime in the past. With the passing of time, our values and our worldview are constantly changing, and this demands a fresh approach to the understanding of the Gita.

    Unrecognizable to herself after countless rounds of unsuccessful IVF, she felt like a failure to herself, a disappointment to her husband, and the only female on Facebook without kids.At thirty-eight, Brett had a great career and a loving partner. But when they decided to start a family, her success story took a turn. She quickly learned that the answer to when she was having kids wasn't as simple as she once thought.In The Underwear in My Shoe, Brett takes you on her journey through IVF, a story of personal struggle and isolation mixed with humor. She shows you that only when she truly lost herself did she discover her inner strength and a sisterhood in the other women going through IVF-discoveries that changed her forever.

    Thanks to it, you will be able to UNLEASH the full power of your Amazon Echo, Echo Dot and Amazon Tap. AND you will find my email address at the end of the book, so feel free to ask me any questions you might have about Alexa. What is Amazon Echo Dot and Alexa Let me help you figure out what this this exciting technology is all about, so you can enjoy it too! Amazon Echo is a speaker connected to the internet that you can control with your voice. Alexa is the built-in vocal assistant of Amazon Echo. Alexa lets you play music, control your lights, ask for the weather and more. What you will learn: Step-by-step instructions on how to set up your device Get to know about all the things that Amazon Echo can do Get customized News, Traffic and Weather updates Connect your Google Calendar to your device Everything you need to know about Alexa in a single HIGH-QUALITY book Stream music from your favorite audio sources: iPhone, Android, Spotify, Amazon Music, Pandora, iHeartRadio, TuneIn Get ACTIONABLE ADVICE on how to build your smart home Control your lights, TV and room temperature with your voice Explore the complete list of Alexa-enabled devices organized per category Have fun by playing with 500 Easter Eggs Learn How IFTTT and Yonomi help you to better control your home Get to know the 20 most useful Alexa Skills Learn how Amazon Echo was created Written By An Alexa Lover For (future) Alexa Lovers How to troubleshoot your Echo Learn how Alexa works behind the scenes Explore the future of Alexa And much, much more! This is the only Amazon Echo book you will ever need Get your copy today! This book will save you hours figuring out how Echo works. I am sharing all my hacks so you can go from Beginner to Expert in an hour. I wish that upon reading this book, you will realise this exciting times that we live in. That you will see all the possibilities that the Amazon Echo has to offer. The time for innovation is now, and it is up to you to enjoy it now. Through the book, you will come to see Echo for what it is and what it can be. I am exploring in depth numerous topics such as Playing Music, Building your Smart Home, Using Alexa Skills and more. This book will help save you many hours trying to figure out what the Echo can do. Bonus Sign up to my free weekly newsletter to get the best new Alexa Skills in your inbox. Table of Contents 1. Preface 2. The Genesis of Amazon Echo 3. How Does Alexa Work? 4.

    I've been there and have struggled with suicidal thoughts and plans. I can share with you what I did to not only survive, but to tolerate depression, live with it, and function acceptably most of the time, interspersed with periods of contentment, happiness, and joy. My strategies may well work for you. My goal is to save lives. The primary motivation for presenting my history is to encourage others who grapple with either chronic depression or occasional bouts. I hope my journey resonates with some, validates feelings, and sparks the thoughts "I'm not alone" and "I will feel better." This book can also help family members and friends of the mentally ill, and their caregivers, find compassion and enable them to understand the struggle. Transcending Depression differs from many other books on the topic in that it is not grounded in clinical experience, scientific research, or empirical evidence, which may make it more approachable than some. It's not a how-to book, not a model for depressed people to follow, not a toolbox. On the contrary, it shows rather than tells the reader what he or she might do to feel better. Appendices include my Depression Survival Guide, which offers 36 suggestions to bring relief, and Chess in the Labyrinth, a metaphor that compares defeating depression to winning a chess game.