It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    Today, we can say that reflexology is ideal for not only curing pain (which is a primary symptom showing something is amiss in your body) but also the root cause of the pain. It is little wonder then that reflexology therapy has become very popular as a form of holistic healing, unlike pharmaceutical drugs that mostly address only the symptoms. High stress, chronic fatigue, back pain, and fibromyalgia are only a few examples of unwelcome conditions that can easily be alleviated through the practice of reflexology. Not to mention that reflexology is a great form of disorder prevention too! This book will teach you all about the practice of reflexology, including how to self-perform reflexology and practice it on others. A complete hand chart map and foot chart map are provided within the book for your reference as well. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... Understanding Reflexology Reflexology Basics Getting Started The Foot Reflexology Chart Map The Hand Reflexology Chart Map Self-Practice with Foot Reflexology Self-Practice with Hand Reflexology Five DIY (Do It Yourself) Reflexology Techniques by Ailment Hand Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Foot Reflexology: Specific Tips & Techniques Much, much more! Download your copy today!Tags: reflexology, hand reflexology, foot reflexology, total reflexology, reflexology guide, reflexology manual, reflexology diagram, reflexology chart, reiki, acupuncture, acupressure, flexology, foot map, chart, map, learn reflexology, relieve tension, treat illness, treat pain, reduce pain, alleviate pain, foot reflexology, what is reflexology, does reflexology work, facial reflexology, reflexology headache, headache, headaches, reflexology techniques, reflexology therapy, alternative therapies, foot therapy, natural therapy, reflexology map, hand reflexology chart, foot reflexology chart, reflexology charts, reflexology treatment, reflexology foot map, reflexology hand map, reflexology maps

    When he released his debut album, Dice, in 1989, the parental advisory label simply read “Warning: This album is offensive.” His material stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn he became the biggest stand-up comic in the world.In The Filthy Truth, Dice chronicles his remarkable rise, fall, and triumphant return. Brooklyn-born Andrew Clay Silverstein started out at Pips Comedy Club in Sheepshead Bay and eventually made a name for himself a decade later with a breakout appearance on the Rodney Dangerfield HBO special Nothing Goes Right. With that single TV appearance he became the new king of comedy, and Dicemania was born. He was the first and only comedian to sell out over three hundred sports arenas across the country to an audience of more than twelve million people. He was also the first comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden two nights in a row.But Dice’s meteoric rise and spectacular fame brought on a furious backlash from the media and critics. Billboards for his album produced by Rick Rubin and for his movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane were defaced and ripped down as fast as they were put up. By the mid-nineties, though still playing to packed audiences, the turmoil in his personal life, plus attacks from every activist group imaginable, led him to make the decision to step out of the spotlight and put the focus on raising his boys.The Diceman was knocked down, but not out. Taking inspiration from what Frank Sinatra once told him—“You work for your fans, not the media. The media gets their tickets for free”—Dice is now back with critically acclaimed roles in HBO’s Entourage and Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine, and is once again playing to sold-out audiences.Filled with no-holds-barred humor and honesty, The Filthy Truth sets the record straight and gives fans plenty of never-before-shared stories from his career and his friendships with Howard Stern, Sam Kinison, Mickey Rourke, Sylvester Stallone, Axl Rose, and countless others.

    Truth, Beauty, and Baldness.In this episode... Steve on Feng Shui; The think tank; Karl's perfect life; Karl's problem with neuroanatomy; Cogito Ergo Summat; Work ethics; Post-pesticidal remorse; Karl's holiday anhedonia; Curry night at Auntie Nora's; The Zen of Munchies; Karl's confectionery-based analogies; Transplant bollocks; Karl gets economical with his facts; Tribal numeracy; Small talk at the bar.

    From a teenage pilgrimage to a Times Square porn superstore to life-changing experiences with high colonics and psychic readings to his tenure as founding editor of the Huffington Post, Lacks Self-Control is a rollicking testament to his unwavering commitment to overshare.Told with zinging wit and zero propriety, Sekoff’s collection of true tales—caroming between his Miami childhood, overstimulated adolescence, and celebrity-adjacent adulthood—showcases his caustic yet surprisingly sweet sense of humor. Whether he’s describing a youthful encounter with a killer crocodile, an ill-fated attempt to make off with a tissue containing Oprah’s tears, or that time Chevy Chase grabbed his balls at a funeral, Sekoff is a lively, irreverent raconteur whose sharp observations wring laughs out of a ludicrous yet relatable life.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

    We don’t even know his name.But now the lid is about to be blown clean off, because the secret files of the world’s most influential* political media adviser are published in this book. Packed with letters, memos, texts, tweets, emails, journal entries, leaked documents and crude doodles, these pages will reveal who The Man in the Room Next Door is and, more importantly, his thoughts on those who employ his services, including Donald ‘dangerous puffin’ Trump, Boris ‘posh motorboat’ Johnson and some of their least competent colleagues.This book is the evidence that anyone can be a world leader. Just as long as they’re wearing the right earpiece.*fictional

    Jews, lapsed Jews, and their spouses and friends will surely learn a thing or ten while devouring this addictively readable mix of practical information, fun facts and figures, and amusing trivia. Including information on key figures from Saul to Seinfeld, a lesson in proper Jew-fro care, and a basic guide to all those second-tier holidays no one ever celebrates, this engaging compendium is perfect for gifting or for simply learning more while being thoroughly entertained.

    It is difficult for us now, even with all our engineering and architectural skills, to imagine the extraordinary ways these medieval houses of worship were constructed. Midway through the twelfth century, the building of cathedrals became a crusade to erect awe-inspiring churches across Europe. In their zeal, bishops, monks, masons, and workmen created the architectural style known as Gothic, arguably Christianity’s greatest contribution to the world’s art and architecture. The style evolved slowly and almost accidentally as medieval artisans combined ingenuity, inspiration, and brute strength to create a fitting monument to their God. Here are the dramatic stories of the building of Saint-Denis, Notre Dame, Chartres, Reims, and other Gothic cathedrals.