But his fortunes change when he’s rescued by none other than Princess…er, Duchess-to-be Meghan Markle. Practically overnight, Guy goes from wags to riches. But does this backwoods beagle have what it takes to be welcomed into the royal family? For the first time ever, Guy reveals how he went from pawper to proper, with help from Emmy award-winning writer and producer of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Mike Brumm and publishing veteran (and devoted Anglophile) Camille March, beautifully illustrated by EG Keller (illustrator of the New York Times bestselling A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo). Guy’s story of finding acceptance in an exceptional family will have readers of all ages barking with laughter.

    You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    Now read the legend of how it all began . . .Long ago, in an ancient and distant realm called the Kingdom of Backyard, there lived a warrior named ROCK.Meanwhile in the Empire of Mom’s Home Office, a second great warrior sought the glory of battle. And his name was PAPER.At the same time, in the Kitchen Realm, in the tiny village of Junk Drawer, lived a third warrior. They called her SCISSORS.These three were the strongest, smartest, and fastest in all the land. Time and again they beat the most fearsome opponents they could find: an apricot, a computer printer—even frozen, breaded, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets! But when the warriors finally meet each other, the most epic round of battles begins . . . and never ends. That is why, to this day, children around the world honor these worthy adversaries by playing ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!

    But whenever she says anything in her Emily voice, windows crack, plates shatter, and the neighbors can't believe their ears. Emily tries and tries but she just can't be quiet. It seems like there's nowhere she fits in...until the day she sees a ship with a sign that says:LOUD HELP NEEDED.NOW.Nobody's louder than Emily! So she sets sail for an adventure on the high seas, looking for a place where she can be herself. Loud Emily.Climb aboard for a memorable tall tale of ships, whales, and a little girl with a very BIG voice.

    Garfield ranks first in his weight class, celebrates his second birthday, falls in love, and loses a stripe!

    When Chris is knocked into a coma, Newt's two best friends decide that taking him out for Halloween is the best way to cheer him up. Using some of Chris's old, oversized clothes, Newt creates his best costume ever?Captain Nobody! Newt feels so strong and confident in his new getup that he keeps wearing it after Halloween is over. In no time, Newt assumes the role of a hero in a string of exploits that include foiling a robbery and saving a planeload of passengers. But will Captain Nobody be able to save the one person he cares about most?With Captain Nobody, the acclaimed author of The Big One-Oh, Dean Pitchford, has skillfully crafted a heartfelt blend of action, humor, and family drama.

    So what do zoos do with all of that poo? This zany, fact-filled romp explores zoo poo, from cube-shaped wombat poo to white hyena scat, and all of the places it ends up, including in science labs and elephant-poo paper—even backyard gardens!

    

    A wiley leprechaun intervenes, and one wish later, Jamie is the proud owner of a potato as big as a house! An engaging read-aloud choice for St. Patrick's Day.--Booklist. Full color.

    I’m done with that you Butthead. Lets not go down this path." Dad and I don’t always agree. And sometimes I call him names. But, is he the Best Dad in the World?

    Not much really happens in these stories. The illustrations are beautiful but rather small. The eponymous friends carry on their friendship through mild misunderstandings and misadventures, always ready to forgive each other and forget. These gentle stories are among my favorite kids' books. I have fond memories of Frog and Toad from my childhood, and I never tire of re-reading them to my 4-year-old daughter. She seems to like them, too.

    Revenge was never so sweet...or so funny!Fed up with the systematic jeering and abuse at Camp Noo Yoo, where frantic parents send their pudgy little darlings in the hopes that they will shed a few of those socially unacceptable pounds, Ralph and Sylvia Nebula and their friend, Mavis Goldfarb, hop a bus back to Pokooksie. There, they seek revenge. Revenge on their parents. Revenge on Dr. Frizzbender, founder of Anti-Fat day. And revenge on Richard "Dick" Tator, the overweight and overbearing owner of Camp Noo Yoo.

    Wol brings dead skunks to the family dinner table and terrorizes the minister, the postman, and the French teacher. Weeps is a comical bird, afraid of everything except Mutt, and he never does learn how to fly. Here is the heartwarming story of how a boy named Billy finds Wol and Weeps and unwittingly adds two new members to the family.

    That is, until the day he gets a call from some Earth scientists telling him he isn’t a planet anymore! You probably wanted to meet a real planet, huh? So, Pluto takes the reader on a hilarious and informative journey through the solar system to introduce the other planets and commiserate about his situation along the way. Younger readers will be so busy laughing over Pluto’s interactions with the other planets, asteroids, moons, and even the sun, they won’t even realize just how much they’re learning about our solar system!

    "A wealth of funny new verse from a favorite poet. Prelutsky's comic muse is at its best here. Another winner."—Kirkus Reviews. "Prelutsky has done it again."—School Library JournalSomething big is right here!It is this book of wonderful, funny poems by beloved children's poet Jack Prelutsky. If you've read The New Kid on the Block, you have some idea of the treat ahead. And if you haven't, all you have to do is start reading!Here are four vain and ancient tortoises, a rat of culture, Super Samson Simpson, a meat loaf that defies an ax, five flying hotdogs—and many, many more people, animals, and things that are destined to become part of the lives of everyone who loves to laugh.Say them, chant them, learn them by heart, or just read them—Jack Prelutsky's poems are incomparable.