"Engines are out. Our course is whatever it was when we were hit, but I can't figure it out because the computer and the instruments are smashed. We have enough power and control to keep a minimal shield up and keep the lights on in here. Most of the lifts are out because there has been too much structural twisting. I will leave weapons to Fire Control." "None worth mentioning," Ruoni put in. "What do you want to do, Command?" It reminded me of the line I would hear on third and thirty-four when the coach asked me what I wanted to call. This is the story of Danny Troy, a has-been pro quarterback in desperate need of a fresh start. So, when he gets a bizarre job offer to be a space pirate, he takes it. A chance brawl on the ship leads him to a damsel in distress. He rescues her only to find she is a lot more than he bargained for. Danny’s idea is to see her safely home and collect a (big) reward. However, the damsel, Jaenna by name, has other ideas. The pair careen across the spiral arm from one adventure to the next, while Danny’s “career” grows to pirate captain and finally to a warlord who holds the fate of galactic civilization in his hands. What decision is Danny going to make? And what is he going to do about the girl? This is an action-packed, space opera, with a dash of American football added to the mix.

    I live in the Pendleton as surely as I live everywhere. I am the Pendleton’s history and its destiny. The building is my place of conception, my monument, my killing ground. . . .The Pendleton stands on the summit of Shadow Hill at the highest point of an old heartland city, a Gilded Age palace built in the late 1800s as a tycoon’s dream home. Almost from the beginning, its grandeur has been scarred by episodes of madness, suicide, mass murder, and whispers of things far worse. But since its rechristening in the 1970s as a luxury apartment building, the Pendleton has been at peace. For its fortunate residents—among them a successful songwriter and her young son, a disgraced ex-senator, a widowed attorney, and a driven money manager—the Pendleton’s magnificent quarters are a sanctuary, its dark past all but forgotten.But now inexplicable shadows caper across walls, security cameras relay impossible images, phantom voices mutter in strange tongues, not-quite-human figures lurk in the basement, elevators plunge into unknown depths. With each passing hour, a terrifying certainty grows: Whatever drove the Pendleton’s past occupants to their unspeakable fates is at work again. Soon, all those within its boundaries will be engulfed by a dark tide from which few have escaped.Dean Koontz transcends all expectations as he takes readers on a gripping journey to a place where nightmare visions become real—and where a group of singular individuals hold the key to humanity’s destiny. Welcome to 77 Shadow Street.

    A miniature pig splashing in a bowl of soup; a duck leading a wheelbarrow down a country lane; a woman gently stroking her daughter's face with a rabbit: take a trip into Sowa's brilliant and darkly comic imagination, where a menagerie of creatures adopt strange personae and pop up in the most unexpected places. In the same realm as Chris Van Allsburg and Maurice Sendak, Sowa's paintings take on the other-worldly look of a whacked-out fairy tale—each work full of irony, a wry Brothers Grimm for grown-ups. These witty and satirical images—a cross between Magritte and The Far Side—are sure to attract a well-deserved and passionate following in the States.

    There's Charlie, a rich albeit mousy male, who turns out to be such a pushover that he allows Rachel to walk all over him without so much as a squeal, and to whom Rachel shows far less affection than to her pet mouse, Prudence. Patrick, the kind but dull manager of a typesetting business who Rachel falls for at the same time she finds Hannah, a cuddly but quiet canine mutt. Then there's Jonathan, the nerdy, brilliant doctor who was almost "the one," and whose role as co-parent to Emma, the pot-bellied pig, becomes pivotal to Rachel's quest for happiness and self-satisfaction. As Rachel falls for each pet, and each man, the truth of her question asserts itself as the human love fades and her love for the animal-and her acceptance of herself-grows stronger. Any woman who has experienced the pure joy of loving an animal and the often-less-than-pure joy of loving a man will recognize herself in Rachel; any woman who has fallen for a man for all the wrong reasons will chuckle as she sees her own flawed judgment writ large. Heartfelt and hilarious, The Pig and I will be cherished by pet lovers and romantic realists alike.

    He's also an occasional, but reluctant, sleuth. The truth is that he'd rather be in his lab tinkering with dangerous chemicals and odd machinery than running around the cobbled streets of London trying to track down stolen goods. But when Her Majesty's Government calls, Horatio swaps his microscope for a magnifying glass, fills his pockets with things that explode and sallies forth to unravel a mystery of a singularly extraordinary nature.Thrown together with a reformed (i.e. 'caught') pickpocket called Tess, and a rebellious (within reason) young gentleman called Thomas, Lyle and his faithful hound, Tate, find themselves pursuing an ancient Chinese plate, a conspiracy that reaches to the highest levels of polite society and a dangerous enemy who may not even be human. Solving the crime will be hard enough - surviving would be a bonus...

    Well, one voice. It's the voice of his dog. Not that it's a real dog, Danny's mother would never let him have a real dog, so Danny made up one for himself. And a fine big dog it is too, with a waggy tail and a nice cold nose. Danny was going to call it Princey, but the dog told him its name was Demolition. So that's what Danny calls it.And the dog's told him other things too. Like how to adjust the bar-code reader in the shop where Danny works so that he can read the lines on people's palms and Danny can see what they're thinking. And which small ads in the comic books to send off to, so Danny can become irresistible to women, bend others to his will, gain vital inches and fear no man living.No, Danny's not sad and lonely any more. Danny's barking mad.Robert Rankin has been described variously as 'Funnier than Aleister Crowley, more dangerous than P.G. Wodehouse' (Cardinal Cox, EP Magazine), 'The drinking man's H.G. Wells' (Midweek) and 'An irregular genius' (David Profumo, The Daily Telegraph). His 13th novel is a nightmare journey to hell and back (with only a brief stop at a Happy Eater to use the toilet). Where Natural Born Killers and Silence of the Lambs merely dipped their toes in terror's icy water, Rankin boldly takes his lurex sock off and really puts his foot in it.

    When he returns home from his demanding job, a man rightfully deserves a bit of pampering. A happy smile, a warm kiss, and a pair of cozy slippers are just the start. Here are all the secrets for helping him feel comfortable and content:  - Advice on cooking from scratch - The lowdown on why a clean home makes hubby feel better - Valuable hints on making yourself more attractive to him The Good Wife is a great and humorous gift for brides-to-be or happily married wives, for Valentine’s Day, and bridal showers and bachelorette parties.

    But he needed one…Emily and her husband Sandy Portman seemed to live a gracious if busy life in an old-world, Upper West Side apartment in the famous Dakota building.  But one night on the way to meet Emily, Sandy dies in a tragic accident.  The funeral isn't even over before Emily learns she is on the verge of being evicted from their apartment.  But worse than the possibility of losing her home, Emily is stunned when she discovers that her marriage was made up of lies.  Suddenly Emily is forced on a journey to find out who her husband really was . . . all the while feeling that somehow he isn't really gone.  Angry, hurt, and sometimes betrayed by loving memories of the man she lost, Emily finds comfort in a scruffy dog named Einstein.  But is Einstein's seemingly odd determination that she save herself enough to make Emily confront her own past?  Can he help her find a future—even after she meets a new man?

    Nick Hammond and Anastasia Collins are the Mystery Society -- and bring new meaning to "underground cult" status! Stealthily avoiding the authorities, this skulduggery duo spend their time and money righting wrongs committed in the world's underbellies.

    You need not be duped by a collection of rats in an elaborate costume, dressed as a handsome suitor, or experience the embarrassment so many have already endured after bringing their ordinarily well-behaved, large sea mammal to an art gallery only to see cultural treasures defiled by inadvertent clumsiness arising from a frame better built for the confines of Poseidon's realm. More than five hundred unfortunate results of the manifold paths our life may offer have been helpfully diagramed for you along with positive affirmations of this veil's wonders and much more!Alexander the Great once remarked that upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all and his words may be taken as injunction to obtain this volume for your very own to ensure the continued security of our very civilization.Benjamin Dewey's The Tragedy Series is an addictive collection of funny-sad comics based on the popular Tumblr blog.

    Since 1969, when he became the only American among the otherwise all-British Monty Python team. Terry Gilliam's work has won plaudits and acclaim for its originality and imagination. His films are renowned for the quality of performances from some of Hollywood's top acting talent, such as Robert de Niro, Brad Pitt, Robin Williams and Johnny Depp.For the first time, this book traces thirty years of the work and art of Terry Gilliam, from his pre-Python days through to the astounding adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, released in 1998.Using Gilliam's own drawings, storyboard and scripts, this book builds to a complete overview of the director's work, examining in detail his striking visual sense ad labyrinthing stories of Man against bureaucracy (Brazil, Twelve Monkeys), triumphant tales of imagination winning over mediocrity (Time Bandits, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Fisher King) and, of course, something completely different (Monty Python and the Holy Grail).

    With the fabled Traitor of Serenity Valley in his sights, Mal’s quest for revenge will put him at odds with his own crew, forcing him to make a choice: fix the past or fight for the future.Along with Whedon, writer Greg Pak (Mech Cadet Yu, Totally Awesome Hulk, Weapon X) and artist Dan McDaid (Judge Dredd: Mega City Zero) take you back to the battleground where it all began...and reveal a secret history that might end it all.

    For almost three years, the Federation and the Klingon Empire, allied under the Khitomer Accords, have contended with the nascent coalition on a predominantly cold-war footing. But as Starfleet rebuilds itself, factions within the Typhon Pact grow restive, concerned about their own inability to develop a quantum slipstream drive to match that of the Federation. Will leaders such as UFP President Bacco and RSE Praetor Kamemor bring about a lasting peace across the Alpha and Beta Quadrants, or will the cold war between the two alliances deepen, and perhaps even lead to an all-out shooting war? Raise the Dawn After the disastrous events in the Bajoran system, Captain Benjamin Sisko must confront the consequences of the recent choices he has made in his life. At the same time, the United Federation of Planets and its Khitomer Accords allies have come to the brink of war with the Typhon Pact. While factions within the Pact unsuccessfully used the recent gestures of goodwill—the opening of borders and a joint Federation-Romulan exploratory mission—to develop quantum-slipstream drive, they have not given up their goals. Employing a broad range of assets, from Romulus to Cardassia, from Ab-Tzenketh to Bajor, they embark on a dangerous new plan to acquire the technology they need to take control of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. While UFP President Bacco and Romulan Praetor Kamemor work feverishly to reestablish peace, Captains Sisko, Jean-Luc Picard, and Ro Laren stand on the front lines of the conflict...even as a new danger threatens the Bajoran wormhole as it once more becomes a flashpoint of galactic history. Brinkmanship The Venette Convention has always remained independent, but it is about to become the flashpoint for a tense military standoff between the two power blocs now dominating interstellar space—the United Federation of Planets and the recently formed Typhon Pact. The Venetan government turns to the Typhon Pact’s Tzenkethi Coalition for protection in the new order, and has agreed to allow three of their supply bases for Tzenkethi use. But these bases—if militarized—would put Tzenkethi weapons unacceptably close to Federation, Cardassian, and Ferengi space. While Captain Ezri Dax and the crew of the U.S.S. Aventine are sent to investigate exactly what is happening at one of the Venette bases, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the U.S.S. Enterprise are assigned to a diplomatic mission sent to the Venette homeworld in order to broker a mutually acceptable resolution. But the Cardassian delegates don’t seem particularly keen on using diplomacy to resolve the situation, which soon spirals out of control toward all-out war. . .

    He's even ripped out the middle of the book and replaced it with a scrapbook packed with everything important to our hero, and how to be just like him! So if you have ever wondered if you'd cut it in the Time Lord Academy, how to fly the TARDIS, or the correct way to dip a fish finger into custard, this is the book for you!Essential reading for all aspiring Time Lords!