Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the "filthy beast" dog, Phil.Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers' Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats."Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!" —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy"Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!" —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed"We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los AngelesCome home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants!

    He wonders what he can buy the dog who has everything and decides that the answer, of course, is nothing. This simple story features characters from the Mutts comic strips and is the first book for children.

    George Bonifield Mountclemens, the paper's credentialed art critic, writes almost invariably scathing, hurtful reviews of local shows; delivers his pieces by messenger; lives with his all-knowing cat Koko in a lushly furnished house in a moldering neighborhood, and has a raft of enemies all over town.He offers the newcomer a tiny apartment in his building at a nominal rent, and Qwilleran grabs it, surmising the deal will involve lots of cat-sitting. Meanwhile, a gallery whose artists get happier treatment from Mountclemens is owned by Earl Lambreth. The acerbic critic has praised paintings there by a reclusive Italian named Scrano; the junk assemblages of Nino, who calls himself a ``Thingist,'' as well as works by Lambreth's attractive wife Zoe.It's Zoe who, one night past closing, finds her husband stabbed to death in the vandalized gallery. Days later, Qwilleran, guided by an insistent Koko, finds Mountclemens's knifed corpse on the patio behind his house.

    So when Sam heard a woman telling his mum that her cat had just had kittens, Sam pleaded to go and see them.Helen's heart melted as Sam held one of the kittens in his hands with a look of total adoration. In a trice the deal was done - the kitten would be delivered when she was big enough to leave her mother.A week later, Sam was dead. Not long after, a little black kitten was delivered to the grieving family. Totally traumatised by Sam's death, Helen had forgotten all about the new arrival. After all, that was back in another universe when Sam was alive.Helen was ready to send the kitten back, but Sam's younger brother wanted to keep her, identifying with the tiny black kitten who'd also lost her brothers. When Rob stroked her fur, it was the first time Helen had seen him smile since Sam's death. There was no choice: the kitten - dubbed Cleo - had to stay.Kitten or not, there seemed no hope of becoming a normal family. But Cleo's zest for life slowly taught the traumatised family to laugh. She went on to become the uppity high priestess of Helen's household, vetoing her new men, terrifying visiting dogs and building a special bond with Rob, his sister Lydia, Helen - and later a baby daughter.

    And when seasickness forces her into an open suite, she's pepper-sprayed by a gorgeous guy called Nick. But when Holly makes her exit, she's greeted by a horde of screaming teenage fans. Because Nick happens to be Dominic Wyatt, drummer for one of the hottest bands in America. Suddenly rumours are swirling and Holly's face is plastered all over the Internet. The band can't risk a scandal destroying their family-friendly image, so Dominic convinces Holly to be his fake girlfriend - just for two weeks. How bad could it be to be "fauxmantically" involved with a cute rock star? She's about to find out...

    Illustrated in a classic Norman Rockwell–inspired style, A Very Klingon Khristmas is the perfect holiday gift for every Star Trek fan!

    The first one said, "Oh my, it’s getting late."

    Then a mouse. Before long, another apparent victim arrives though the cat-door. Can softhearted Ellie get her beloved pet to change his wild, wild ways before he ends up in even deeper trouble? Especially when Tuffy can't understand what all the fuss is about?Chock-a-block with lighthearted illustrations, readers experience a deliciously sharp and funny view of the world through a cat's eyes.

    This long out-of-print classic is the perfect stocking-stuffer for any bah humbug.

    From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings.Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss Runny Babbit Returns, the new book from Shel Silverstein!

    She poses the eternal question: Can you heal once you’ve been marked by a monster, or will the sun always sting?

    Her passion for the natural world lay behind the creation of her famous series of little books. A particular source of inspiration was the English Lake District where she lived for the last thirty years of her life as a farmer and land conservationist, working with the National Trust.She described The Tailor of Gloucester as her own favourite among her books. It was based on the true story of a tailor who left the unsewn pieces of a coat in his shop and found that the garment had been mysteriously finished for him in the night. It turned out that the real tailor's assistants were his apprentices, but in Beatrix Potter's version of the story the secret helpers are skilful little brown mice.

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

    Based on the wonderfully atmospheric and dramatic Cornish tale of Old Tom, the fisherman, and his cat Mowzer, who braved the wrath of the Great Storm-Cat to save their village.

    Authors Patricia MacLachlan and Emily MacLachlan Charest and illustrator Barry Moser give voice to and celebrate our most opinionated furry friends in this spirited collection of poems filled with rich language, perfect for reading aloud. Cat Talk is sure to make readers wonder what their own four-legged friends have to say.Supports the Common Core State Standards