"The Greatest Invention In The History Of Mankind Is Beer" And Other Manly Insights From Dave Barry


Dave Barry - 2001
    At higher levels, testosterone causes destructive male behavior, the two most terrible kinds being: 1. War. 2. Do-it-yourself projects.

Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything


Frank J. Fleming - 2011
    It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs -- perhaps the worst days we had ever seen. And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn't understand -- and he understood so very little. Then there was that laugh of his -- that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced. Also, he looked like a chimp. It seemed like the end for the United States of America. We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt "ter'ists" or other figments of Bush's rotten mind. There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us. Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again. And then a man emerged who firmly answered, "Yes we can!" Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man. He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society. A savior to the world's depressed. A lightbringer. A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words -- his beautiful words read from crystal panes -- reached down to our souls and told us all would be well. With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place -- a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements. This was his promise. And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country -- or any country -- has ever had or could even imagine to have.

The Crazy Life of a Kid from Brooklyn


Bill Morgenstein - 2014
    I was on the Stuyvesant baseball team, but because of my working hours, my playing time was limited. My first dream to become a corporate president by the time I was 35 years of age was fulfilled.Experience the ups and downs of a life well lived in Bill Morgenstein's compelling new memoir, The Crazy Life of a Kid from Brooklyn.While first reminiscing upon his childhood in Brooklyn during the depression, Morgenstein traces his life through times of war, peace, and everything in between.At times extremely funny and heartbreaking, The Crazy Life of a Kid in Brooklyn details Morgenstein's enlistment in the US Army, his days running a $55 million dollar company, his despair at losing it all to a scam, and much more.His chance encounters with such historical figures as Sergeant York, Cordell Hull, Sid Gordon, Jomo Kenyatta, and Vince Camuto provide amusing cultural touchstones that reveal a willingness to embrace everything life has to offer.Through all the successful, disappointing, dangerous, educational, and enlightening experiences that have shaped his life, Morgenstein remains philosophical as he explores the roles of ethics, honesty, and unfailing determination in shaping the human experience.

For the Love of Scott!


Jo Hamilton - 2011
    She taught her family how to read Scott’s medical chart and to ask pointed questions, no longer leaving his care to the medical professionals who had overdosed him with drugs to the very brink of death in less than three days.“Jo, you have to tell people what they’ve done to me. You have to tell them!”pleaded her little brother, as he lay writhing in agony.In “For the Love of Scott!”, the author recollects her family’s poignant story of love, bewilderment, and lingering frustration when faced with catastrophic medical mistakes. Read the experiences of Scott Hamilton’s family members as they struggle through a storm of horrific medical errors that could have been prevented and recognize what you need to do when someone you love is faced with life-threatening circumstances created by health experts.It took Jo 27 years to put this heartbreaking event down on paper. Writing opened old wounds and required hours of research and documentation. It forced her family to relive a chapter in their own lives that they desperately wanted closed. Yet, they rallied together to help Jo with her mission to keep that promise.To help further her goals, Jo Hamilton will be donating a portion of the proceeds from the sale of her book, to the 1984 Olympic Gold Medal Winner, Scott Hamilton's foundation, The Scott Hamilton CARES Initiative. The Scott Hamilton CARES Initiative was created to help with cancer research, support cancer patients and their families, and find a cure cancer.

Top 50 Villains (Horrible Histories)


Terry Deary - 2016
    From gangs of gangsters to maniacs who massacre, meet the biggest baddies in history and discover how they tortured and terrified their way to the top. Find out whose savage speciality was nostril-splitting, which evil emperor served up guts in gold dishes, whose axe-murdering antics were turned into a ballet and much more. It's all you need to know about villains - all the gore and more!

Forensics: The Science Behind the Deaths of Famous People


Harry A. Milman - 2020
    A more plausible explanation would have been that she died from a drug overdose. A review of the medical examiner's report revealed that the Fisher family refused to give permission for an autopsy and toxicology tests to be done. Constrained by these limitations, the coroner labeled the manner of death "undetermined".FORENSICS: The Science behind the Deaths of Famous People is an analysis and description of how coroners determine the cause and manner of death. An investigation of twenty-three deaths of famous people was conducted based on a review of publicly available autopsy and toxicology reports, as well as published scientific and lay articles. Drug use was implicated in 70 percent of the deaths. Four celebrity deaths were the result of suicide or homicide. Four others were from natural causes.

Crazy Stupid Money (Kindle Single)


Rachel Shukert - 2015
    On social media and beyond, we dish on all aspects of our personal lives: our relationships, our children, our sex lives, our health. But there's one thing that no one ever mentions-- our money. How much do we actually have? Who makes it? And how does that make us feel about ourselves? These are the uncomfortable questions that Rachel Shukert managed to avoid for years, buffered from the gnawing anxiety of her patched-together freelance living by the comfortable salary of her loving and successful husband. But when a sudden change in circumstances forced her to step up and start supporting her family for the first time, she had to face the depth of her phobias about money for the first time, and truth about the damage they had caused to her relationship. It wasn't pretty. Plates were thrown. Police were called. Accountants were vomited on -- or at least, near. And a marriage was pushed to the breaking point by the curious power that money -- or the lack of it -- has in our lives. Hilarious, painful, and searingly honest, CRAZY STUPID MONEY tells the hard truth about all the things that married people (not to mention not-quite-successful creative freelancers) never talk about but desperately wish someone would. The story of how one couple broke themselves down and struggled to come back together again, it's an unflinching look at what we talk about when we DON'T talk about money -- and how alone it makes us feel.RACHEL SHUKERT is a television writer living in Los Angeles. She is the author of five books, including the memoir EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE GREAT and the Kindle Single LET ME BE YOUR STAR. You can follow her on Twitter At @RachelShukertCover Design by Adil Dara

F in Exams: The Best Test Paper Blunders


Richard Benson - 2008
    Celebrating the creative side of failure in a way we can all relate to, F in Exams gathers the most hilarious and inventive test answers provided by students who, faced with a question they have no hope of getting right, decide to have a little fun instead. Whether in science (Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? A: Mariah Carey), the humanities (Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? A: Unusual names), math, or other subjects, these 250 entries prove that while everyone enjoys the spectacle of failure, it's even sweeter to see a FAIL turn into a WIN.

What Has He Done Now?: Tales from a North West Childhood in the 60s and Early 70s


David Hayes - 2016
    This is incidental as it is about neither of those industries in particular. It is about the magic and wonderment of those days as seen through the eyes of a child – my eyes! It is about the days when imagination was the biggest plaything that we possessed. The days when a plastic football provided a whole summer's play. It is about the scrapes that I found myself in and the things that I observed around me, and how they made me feel. All the stories are true and I personally experienced every one of them. The names of the characters have been changed. The reason being that I have no idea of the whereabouts of many of the characters contained within my stories, so I have no way of asking them for their permission to include them in this book. Some have possibly passed away, and it would be unfair of me to mention them without their blessing. Anyone who knows me will know who they are though.

For The Healing


Shenaia Lucas - 2017
    Each chapter serves a different purpose. The chapters are For The Healing, For The Erasing, For the Loving, For the Oppressed, and For the Broken. This book teaches you to love yourself and others. It's better experienced than described, so sit down with some coffee and allow yourself to feel-- and heal.

Shifters Forsaken: Shifter Romance Collection


Mia Taylor - 2018
    Four siblings estranged, four mates, one combined goal—love and unity. Featured Books in this Collection: Book One – Cypher’s Mate Book Two – Briar’s Mate Book Three – Vaughan’s Mate Book Four – Ryker’s Mate Book Five - Shifters United: The Sequel AUTHOR’S NOTE: These are stand alone romances with an HEA. This ebook contains mature themes and language, intended for 18+ readers only.

Endless Perfect Circles: Lessons from the little-known world of ultradistance cycling


Ian Walker - 2020
    

Admission Assessment Exam Review


HESI - 2012
    Plus, it helps you identify areas of weakness so you can focus your study time. Sample problems and step-by-step examples with explanations in the math and physics sections show you how to work through each problem so you understand the steps it takes to complete the equation. Practice tests with answer keys for each topic - located in the appendices for quick access - help you assess your understanding of each topic and familiarize you with the types of questions you're likely to encounter on the actual exam. HESI Hints boxes offer valuable test-taking tips, as well as rationales, suggestions, examples, and reminders for specific topics.End-of-chapter review questions help you gauge your understanding of chapter content.A full-color layout and more illustrations in the life science chapters visually reinforce key concepts for better understanding.Expanded and updated content in each chapter ensures you're studying the most current content.Basic algebra review in the math section offers additional review and practice.Color-coded chapters help you quickly find specific topic sections.Helpful organizational features in each chapter include an introduction, key terms, chapter outline, and a bulleted chapter summary to help you focus your study.A glossary at the end of the text offers quick access to key terms and their definitions.

Doctor, Doctor: A True Story of Obsession, Addiction, and Psychological Manipulation


Merry Freer - 2014
    Although smart and successful in a controlled and stable workplace, she has been taught since childhood to substitute her own judgement for that of others, leaving her naïve, gullible and ill-prepared to effectively manage the complexities of her new life.When Susan meets Mark, a charismatic and charming doctor, she thinks she has found the kind of love and passion she has longed for. But things are not as they appear with Mark, and slowly she becomes aware of the deceptive life he is leading. Seeking counsel and solace in a trusted therapist, she encourages Mark to accompany her to a session.The three year odyssey begins with intense therapy - appointments orchestrated by a psychiatrist who develops a personal stake in the couple’s progress. Secrets, lies, and silent pacts draw Susan, inexperienced and trusting, deeply into Mark’s treatment plan. The shrewd therapist’s unorthodox and manipulative schemes break all the rules, taking Susan into a world of drama, deceit, betrayal, and an excruciatingly close encounter with the law – an encounter that forces her to choose between saving Mark or saving herself.

Too Blessed to Be Stressed: Inspiration for Climbing Out of Life's Stress-Pool


Debora M. Coty - 2011
    . . Are you imprisoned by the joy-sucking dully-funks? . . . Maybe it’s time for a healthy dose of truth gift-wrapped in humor.Kick back a moment and take this revealing true-or-false stress test for women: T F I am frequently grumpy and I don’t know why. T F I used to enjoy cooking, but now it’s only a necessary chore. T F I don’t feel appreciated for all the tasks that I do. T F I’m embarrassed if caught relaxing or being "unproductive." T F The volume in my voice increases to MAKE MY POINT! T F I feel like I live in my car. T F I can’t remember the last time I laughed till I cried. T F A "free" day is exhausting because I must complete all my home duties. T F I tend to eat when feeling tense or overwhelmed. T F I feel like I’m constantly on the defensive. T F I often have unexplained headaches or stomachaches. T F My to-do lists have footnotes. Now count the answers that you marked "true" and check out your status: 4–6: Yellow Alert! You are at risk of becoming stressed out. 7–9: Orange Alert! Look out, girlfriend, you’re at toxic stress levels. 10–12: Red Alert!!! You are a bonified Stress Mess and need immediate help! If you often find yourself struggling with the stresses of finances, health, career, relationships, self-image, or family, then this humor-filled volume is just what you need. With simple, practical tips for attaining the peace you crave—the peace that passes all understanding—you’ll discover healing, refreshment, and revitalization for your spirit, body, and mind.<!--?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /-->