Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star


Rich Merritt - 2001
    . . Here's the story of Rich Merritt--the good son, teacher's pet, Southern gentleman, model Christian student at Bob Jones University, Marine officer, and the not-so-anonymous poster boy for a New York Times Magazine article on gays in the military--whose complicated sexual past caused an international scandal when The Advocate "outed" him as "The Marine Who Did Gay Porn," putting his life in a tailspin. It's the compelling, poignant story of how a boy who never listened to pop music, never cursed, and didn't have his first drink until he was eighteen exploded into a life of drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, prostitution, and pornography. And above all, it's a triumphant story of self-forgiveness and identity, of a man who refused to allow himself to be defined by the standards of anyone else--gay or straight. Along the way, Rich Merritt writes with humor, compassion, insight and naked truth about: What it's really like growing up behind the "Fortress of Fundamentalism" and how he ultimately came to despise their viewsThe harsh realities of military life under the "Don't ask, don't tell" Clinton policyA real insider's experience of working in the male porn industry--the good, the bad, and the extremely hotWhy he chose not to reveal his porn past to the New York Times journalistWhat it felt like to be the most notorious marine in the world and what it took to come through the fireBy turns harrowing and heartbreaking, angry and affirming, Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star is that rarest of memoirs--a fascinating slice of life that reads like the most absorbing fiction, but is all true. Rich Merritt has written an Op-Ed column for the Navy Times. He has been profiled for The New York Times Magazine, The Los Angeles Times, and The Advocate. Stories about him have appeared in the London Times, The Washington Post and many other publications. He is now an attorney living in Atlanta."

What Is a Girl Worth?: My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth about Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics


Rachael Denhollander - 2019
    The first victim to publicly accuse Larry Nassar, the former USA Gymnastics team doctor who sexually abused hundreds of young athletes, Rachael now reveals her full story for the first time. How did Nassar get away with it for so long? How did Rachael and the other survivors finally stop him and bring him to justice? And how can we protect the vulnerable in our own families, churches, and communities?What Is a Girl Worth? is the inspiring true story of Rachael's journey from an idealistic young gymnast to a strong and determined woman who found the courage to raise her voice against evil, even when she thought the world might not listen. This deeply personal and compelling narrative shines a spotlight on the physical and emotional impact of abuse, why so many survivors are reluctant to speak out, what it means to be believed, the extraordinary power of faith and forgiveness, and how we can learn to do what's right in the moments that matter most.This inspirational, empowering book is written by attorney, advocate, educator, and author Rachael Denhollander.

I Left It on the Mountain: A Memoir


Kevin Sessums - 2015
    hotel room wondering how he would get through his scheduled interview with Hugh Jackman. For years he had interviewed the bright lights: Madonna, Courtney Love, Jessica Lange, and all the other usual suspects; but, Kevin knew that his rapidly unraveling life was as shallow as the hotel's hip furniture and he was hanging on by his fingertips. In I Left It on the Mountain, Sessums chronicles his early days in NY as an actor, his years working for Andy Warhol at Interview and Tina Brown at Vanity Fair, countless nights of anonymous sex, his HIV Positive diagnosis and his descent into addiction. It's also the chronicle of one man's spiritual redemption found while climbing to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostelo and trudging across the cold, lonely winter beaches of Provincetown. Peopled with the famous like Daniel Radcliffe and Diane Sawyer as well as anonymous companions corporeal and otherwise whom he met while mountain climbing and hiking, I Left It on the Mountain is the story of one man's fall and rebirth, the next moving chapter in Kevin Sessums' extraordinary life that takes him from the high to the low and back again. For readers who loved Mississippi Sissy and want to know what happened to that tenacious little boy with the baseball mitt, New York Times Best Seller I Left It On the Mountain is the sometimes very dark, but ultimately hopeful answer.

Man Stuff: Thoughts on Faith, Family, and Fatherhood


Josh Turner - 2014
    And despite his recording schedule, award shows, and national tour dates, a few of his biggest priorities in life are to instill good values into his three young sons, be a devoted husband, and be a strong testimony for God.In this compilation, Josh shares fun and meaningful thoughts and personal stories—ranging from his childhood years to today—and weaves in spiritual insight for men who want to be better dads, husbands, and men of God. He covers a variety of topics such as living and working with integrity, facing your fears, surrounding yourself with good company, trusting God’s plans, standing up for the least of these—topics every man can relate to and draw from to grow in his spiritual and personal journeys.  This is a great gift for any Josh Turner or country music fan with conservative family values. Features & Benefits:Josh’s country fan base includes almost 1.4 million Facebook fans and over 135,000 Twitter followersForeword by Jase Robertson of Duck DynastyProvides much needed practical advice and spiritual encouragement for men and dads and the unique challenges they faceFeatures personal insights and true stories from a trusted role model in both Christian and secular marketsPerfect Father’s Day gift for men, husbands, and dads of all ages

Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography


Christine Jorgensen - 1967
    When ex-G.I. George Jorgensen went to Copenhagen in the early 1950s to consult experts in sexual deviance, he was afraid they'd simply proclaim him a fairy. A full battery of hormonal and psychological tests revealed that, while he was drawn to men, he was no garden-variety homophile; he was a lady. Keeping the secret from his family, Jorgensen endured a groundbreaking series of operations, finally emerging in November 1952 as a delicately beautiful young woman. "I merely wanted to correct what I considered a misjudgment of Nature," wrote Jorgensen, who died in 1989. No one seeing the photographs included here (many of them new to this edition) can doubt the success of Jorgensen's transformation or wonder too long at the fascination she engendered back home, where a newspaper bought her story for $20,000 and she was proclaimed New York City's Woman of the Year. A stage and screen career soon followed. As Susan Stryker points out in a new introduction, Jorgensen offers a somewhat flattering and selectively abridged account of herself in the autobiography, but no more so than any plucky girl smiling her way through what must have been, at times, a harrowing and lonely journey, but one that she conducted with remarkable dignity. --Regina Marler

The Last Time I Wore a Dress


Daphne Scholinski - 1997
    Dylan's story—which is, sadly, not that unusual—has already received attention from such shows as 20/20, Dateline, Today, and Leeza. But his memoir, bound to become a classic, tells the story in a funny, ironic, unforgettable voice that "isn't all grim; Scholinski tells [his] story in beautifully evocative prose and mines [his] experiences for every last drop of ironic humor, determined to have the last laugh." (Time Out New York)

Bad Theology Kills: Undoing Toxic Belief & Reclaiming Your Spiritual Authority


Kevin Garcia - 2020
    They believed that God could never love them because they were queer, leading to a deadly shame that nearly took Kevin's life. Kevin felt trapped by fear. Fear of losing their community, their family, and even their connection to God.That is until Kevin changed their mind, finally hearing the voice of the Spirit calling them to believe something better.Through personal experience, classical theological devices, and a fair bit of profanity, Kevin dives into some of the most common toxic belief patterns that are killing our communities, showing you how to undo them, and how to create new, better theology to lead you back to your spiritual authority.Bad Theology Kills is the first step on leaving behind a religion filled with fear and blossoming into a life and spirituality grounded in Love....Like many Evangelical Christians, Kevin grew up believing that being gay was a sin punishable by hell and social ex-communication. After 12 years of ex-gay therapy resulting in two suicide attempts, Kevin realized that God never would ask them to give up who they were, but rather God invited Kevin deeper into the heart of Love, deeper into who they always were meant to be. They realized that Love doesn't have to hurt, and that God was much bigger than anticipated.Through personal stories, fresh takes on old Bible stories, and employing trusted theological devices, Bad Theology Kills shows us not only can we craft new theologies that can redeem our faith, but we can save lives. Bad theology is killing all of us. And a better way is possible.

Leaving Buddha: A Tibetan Monk’s Encounter with the Living God


Tenzin Lahkpa - 2019
    Unable to change his fate, he wholeheartedly embraces his life as a monk and begins a quest for full enlightenment through the teachings of Buddhism. From his local monastery to the famed Potala Palace in Lhasa, Tibet, he learns deep mysteries of Tibetan Buddhism. Yearning to study with the current Dalai Lama, he eventually escapes from China by means of an excruciating, two-thousand-mile, secret trek over the Himalayas—barefoot, with no extra gear, changes of clothing, or money. His dream is realized when he finally sits under the Dalai Lama himself. But his desire to go deeper only grows, leading him to unexpected conclusions…. Follow the fascinating, never-before-told, true story of what causes a highly dedicated Tibetan Buddhist monk to make the radical decision to walk away from the teachings of Buddha and leave his monastery to follow Jesus Christ. Discover the reasons other monks want him dead before he can share his story with others.Leaving Buddha dares to expose the mysterious world of Tibetan Buddhism, with its layered teachings, intricate practices—and troubling secrets. Ultimately, it tells a moving story about the search for truth, the path of enlightenment, and how no one is beyond the reach of a loving God. This gripping narrative will resonate with people from all backgrounds and nations.

Eleanor and Hick: The Love Affair That Shaped a First Lady


Susan Quinn - 2016
    By that time, she had put her deep disappointment in her marriage behind her and developed an independent life—now threatened by the public role she would be forced to play. A lifeline came to her in the form of a feisty campaign reporter for the Associated Press: Lorena Hickok. Over the next thirty years, until Eleanor’s death, the two women carried on an extraordinary relationship: They were, at different points, lovers, confidantes, professional advisors, and caring friends. They couldn't have been more different. Eleanor had been raised in one of the nation’s most powerful political families and was introduced to society as a debutante before marrying her distant cousin, Franklin. Hick, as she was known, had grown up poor in rural South Dakota and worked as a servant girl after she escaped an abusive home, eventually becoming one of the most respected reporters at the AP. Her admiration drew the buttoned-up Eleanor out of her shell, and the two quickly fell in love. For the next thirteen years, Hick had her own room at the White House, next door to the First Lady. These fiercely compassionate women inspired each other to right the wrongs of the turbulent era in which they lived. During the Depression, Hick reported from the nation’s poorest areas for the WPA, and Eleanor used these reports to lobby her husband for New Deal programs. Hick encouraged Eleanor to turn their frequent letters into her popular and long-lasting syndicated column "My Day," and to befriend the female journalists who became her champions. When Eleanor’s tenure as First Lady ended with FDR's death, Hick pushed her to continue to use her popularity for good—advice Eleanor took by leading the UN’s postwar Human Rights Commission. At every turn, the bond these women shared was grounded in their determination to better their troubled world. Deeply researched and told with great warmth, Eleanor and Hick is a vivid portrait of love and a revealing look at how an unlikely romance influenced some of the most consequential years in American history.

Miracles from Heaven: A Little Girl, Her Journey to Heaven, and Her Amazing Story of Healing


Christy Wilson Beam - 2015
    One sunny day when she was able to go outside and play with her sisters, she fell three stories headfirst inside an old, hollowed-out tree, a fall that may well have caused death or paralysis. Implausibly, she survived without a scratch. While unconscious inside the tree, with rescue workers struggling to get to her, she visited heaven. After being released from the hospital, she defied science and was inexplicably cured of her chronic ailment. MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN will change how we look at the world around us and reinforce our belief in God and the afterlife.

Hand of Providence: The Strong and Quiet Faith of Ronald Reagan


Mary Beth Brown - 2004
    This is because, as Brown explains, no one has ever focused on this great man's faith. This book explores the life and personality of Ronald Reagan by focusing on his deep-felt Christian beliefs and showing how faith guided him along his distinguished career and led him to his unprecedented success. With the support of Ronald Reagan's own words and writings and first-hand interviews of Ronald Reagan's family, friends, and co-workers, Brown weaves a magnificent story of Reagan's strong devotion to God that will not only inspire Christians to enter public service and allow their faith to motivate all their actions but also help point others to the Cross of Jesus Christ-a cause that was near and dear to President Reagan's heart."

Struck: One Christian's Reflections on Encountering Death


Russ Ramsey - 2017
    As he faced the possibility of death, he found himself awakened to new realities. In the critical days and months that followed, Ramsey came to see the world through the eyes of affliction. He grappled with fear, anger, depression, and loss, and yet he experienced grace through the suffering that filled him with a hope and hunger for the life to come.This profoundly eloquent memoir gives voice to the deepest questions of the human condition. In the midst of pain, we can see glimpses of eternity.

Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion


Gregory Boyle - 2009
    Gorgeous and uplifting, Tattoos on the Heart amply demonstrates the impact unconditional love can have on your life. As a pastor working in a neighborhood with the highest concentration of murderous gang activity in Los Angeles, Gregory Boyle created an organization to provide jobs, job training, and encouragement so that young people could work together and learn the mutual respect that comes from collaboration. Tattoos on the Heart is a breathtaking series of parables distilled from his twenty years in the barrio. Arranged by theme and filled with sparkling humor and glowing generosity, these essays offer a stirring look at how full our lives could be if we could find the joy in loving others and in being loved unconditionally. From giant, tattooed Cesar, shopping at JCPenney fresh out of prison, we learn how to feel worthy of God’s love. From ten-year-old Lula we learn the importance of being known and acknowledged. From Pedro we understand the kind of patience necessary to rescue someone from the darkness. In each chapter we benefit from Boyle’s wonderful, hard-earned wisdom. Inspired by faith but applicable to anyone trying to be good, these personal, unflinching stories are full of surprising revelations and observations of the community in which Boyle works and of the many lives he has helped save. Erudite, down-to-earth, and utterly heartening, these essays about universal kinship and redemption are moving examples of the power of unconditional love in difficult times and the importance of fighting despair. With Gregory Boyle’s guidance, we can recognize our own wounds in the broken lives and daunting struggles of the men and women in these parables and learn to find joy in all of the people around us. Tattoos on the Heart reminds us that no life is less valuable than another.

The Day I Died: My Astonishing Trip to Heaven and Back


Freddy Vest - 2014
    He was dead before he hit the ground. One moment he was sitting on his horse. The next moment he was somewhere else--somewhere beyond description. He had moved on. Without travel, transport, angelic assistance, or the passage of time he was with Jesus, where he discovered firsthand that heaven is a real place and God is a real person and that death is not the end but the beginning of true life. In The Day I Died, Vest touches on the transformation from death to heaven and some of the benefits of finding oneself in that place, including:The unforgettable awareness of God’s presence The sense of His immeasurable love The freedom from the constraints of time The ease of communication with the Lord The peace and security that attend His presence The understanding that prayers are instantly heard by God.

Double Life: A Love Story from Broadway to Hollywood


Alan Shayne - 2010
    The human story at the center of this debate is told in Double Life: A Love Story, a dual memoir by a gay male couple in a 50 plus year relationship. With high profiles in the entertainment, advertising and art communities, the authors offer a virtual timeline of how gay relationships have gained acceptance in the last half-century. At the same time, they share inside stories from film, television and media featuring the likes of Marlon Brando, Katharine Hepburn, Rock Hudson, Barbra Streisand, Laurence Olivier, Truman Capote, Bette Davis, Robert Redford, Lee Radziwill and Frances Lear.“We both grew up at a time when homosexuality was not even spoken about,” the couple writes. “There were certainly no books that could help a young person understand that two people of the same sex could build a happy, productive and loving life together. When we entered our 50th year, another same sex couple told us we were ‘an inspiration’, so we began to feel we had the responsibility to make what we’ve experienced available to others. We also wanted to show people who were not gay that our life was not unlike theirs. We are all pretty much the same, so we deserve equal protection under the Constitution.”Alan Shayne retired as President of Warner Brothers Television in 1986, following a career that included Broadway, playing opposite Lena Horne and spanned forty years. As a leading casting director, he worked on such films as Catch 22, All the President’s Men and many others. At Warner Brothers, he shepherded such long-running television series as Alice, Night Court and The Dukes of Hazard.Norman Sunshine was a successful magazine illustrator in New York who went on to be a painter and sculptor whose works are in museums and in important collections. In the early years of his career, he was vice president, creative director of an advertising agency, and coined the phrase, “What Becomes a Legend Most?” as well as “Danskins are not just for Dancing.” He interrupted his painting career when Frances Lear asked him to spearhead Lear’s Magazine in the 1980s.Upon the two men meeting in New York in 1958, “We didn’t want to live together,” says Shayne. “We didn’t have any examples of what a good love relationship between two men could be. And there was always the problem of hiding so no one would know we were gay. There was no question that if I were known to be gay, living with another man, it would make it more difficult for me to get work as an actor.”As an artist, Sunshine was able to maintain a moderately out lifestyle. But when the first exhibition of his paintings in New York brought on a profile in The New York Times in 1968, he was photographed in the apartment that he admitted sharing with Shayne. At both his advertising agency and Shayne’s television production company, the article was met with absolute silence.Even in the 1970s, when Sunshine won an Emmy for the graphics and title design he had created for one of Shayne’s television productions, “Alan and I agreed it was not a good idea for us to be seen together at an industry event,” he remembers. “Alan, after all, was one of the very few homosexuals who had such a powerful, high profile job, and who lived openly with a man. Homophobia had its adherents and some ruthless climber up the executive ladder would certainly love an opportunity to use it…’Better to be seen with a woman,’ we were advised by a very trusted friend, ‘Makes everyone more comfortable.’”Happily, in 2004, the State of Massachusetts allowed the opportunity for the couple to be married on a beach in Nantucket. “We were like a long, empty, closed-up house where the windows have just been opened,” writes Shayne. “The fresh air thrilled through us, and after years of only being who we were in the privacy of our homes or with a few friends, we were out in the world, under the sky, no longer pretending. We were at last free.”Double Life is a trip through the entertainment world and a gay partnership in the latter half of the 20th century. As more and more same sex couples find it possible to say “I do,” the book serves as an important document of how far we’ve come.