But stealing it seems too easy. That's because it is too easy. Artemis Fowl, the legendary twelve-year-old criminal mastermind, has set him up. He needs Mulch's help...This is an Eoin Colfer's fantastic new Artemis adventure especially for World Book Day.

    This book collects some of the best funny fantasy fiction published in the past decade. Included are works by Hugo and Nebula Award winners, New York Times and USA Today bestselling authors, as well as up-and-coming talented writers.Includes the following stories:“Dave the Mighty Steel-Thewed Avenger” by Laura Resnick“Crumbs” by Esther Friesner“Fellow Traveler” by Donald J. Bingle“A Fish Story” by Sarah Totton“Another End of the Empire” by Tim Pratt“Giantkiller” by G. Scott Huggins“A Mild Case of Death” by David Gerrold“Fairy Debt” by Gail Carriger“A Very Special Girl” by Mike Resnick“The Blue Corpse Corps” by Jim C. Hines“Librarians in the Branch Library of Babel” by Shaenon K. Garrity“The Queens Reason” by Richard Parks“The Best Little Cleaning Robot in All of Faerie” by Susan Jane Bigelow“Suede This Time” by Jean Rabe

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    As they travel about, the boys meet up with girls both human and electrical, AI is explained, dog-people are examined, battles ensue, aliens interact with reality TV, situations get juicy, brains get probed and, of course, a liberal amount of alcohol is consumed throughout. All this for your reading pleasure. So let’s go and don’t forget the tequila and chips. Teleport This is the first book in the Small Universe series. Simon and Gilbert’s adventures continue in Soul to Soul and Geppetto’s Daughter. All three books are available in a single volume titled The Teleport This Trilogy at the super low price of $4.99 US.

    Legend. Role model. He’s none of those.Blunt Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, Flint Dugdale, has used his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’ to take charge of Britain’s first mission to Mars. Little does he know that the base, built by an advance party of inept robots, is far from ready, with no food, water or doors. And the ship’s scanners are picking up strange signals. There is life down there. But will it be pleased to see him?

    Colgan.Ashildr, a young Viking girl, died bravely helping the Doctor save the village she loved – so the Doctor used alien technology to bring her back to life. Ashildr became immortal and, since that day, has kept journals to chronicle her extraordinary life. 'The Triple Knife' is a glimpse into the life of a woman who lived longer than anyone ever should – and lost more than she can even remember.'Picnic at Asgard' drops in on another woman of the Whoniverse who never fails to find herself too far from danger and excitement. And when you’re married to a Time Lord, what more can you expect? This adventure, extracted from her journal, reveals still more about the legendary River Song.'Into the Nowhere' follows the Eleventh Doctor and Clara as they land on an unknown alien planet. To the Doctor’s delight and Clara’s astonishment, it really is unknown. It’s a planet the Doctor has never seen. It’s not on any maps, it’s not referenced on any star charts or in the TARDIS data banks. It doesn’t even have a name. What could be so terrible here that has been erased?This collection also includes two further adventures 'All The Empty Towers' and 'A Long Way Down' – a short story never published in volume form before.

    Every parent's worst fear. Even if that parent is one of the most dangerous killers in the galaxy. Sanah and Dem always knew any child they had would be special. As the offspring of an empath and a psychically gifted Hunter and Killer, three-year-old Tamari is one-of-a-kind. When a mysterious illness threatens her life, Sanah and Dem would do anything to help her. Even if it tears their marriage apart. Note: This short story in the telepathic space pirates' universe takes place roughly three years after the events in Pirate Bound.

    The book is very well written, without a lot of unnecessary detail. All in all, Harry Watt, Bounty Hunter is a very entertaining little book that will appeal to fans of detective novels and science fiction alike."Raanan Geberer - Reader's Favorite"What becomes immediately evident in reading Rob's books is that not only has he a fine sense of imagination to create unusual stories, but that he accompanies that with a fine tuned sense of humor that is too often lacking in sci-fi novels and indicates that he may just have a strong hold on a fruitful career In his chosen genre."5 Star rating - Grady Harp, Amazon Top 100 Reviewer2150 AD.The Earth is running out of water. On Mars, civil war is looming, which is a pity because there's enough of the wet stuff out there to last the human race for a thousand years.Eager to get their hands on it is Hansel & Gretel, a multi-planetary corporation hell bent on owning every resource in the solar system.WHEN an employee of Hansel & Gretel is accused of theft and then high-tails it to Mars, enter Harry Watt, a would-be bounty hunter who doesn't much care for the water crisis as long as there's enough of the stuff to put ice in his bourbon. Now, a trip to the Red Planet sounds like fun, but our man soon discovers something stinks about his latest case, and it's not one of his socks. To try and find the answers, Harry must first travel to Venus Station. But it's not easy to be in two places at once, and getting framed for murder doesn't help, either.AS the case unravels, Harry must call on all his skills and charm to crack the secret of Mars. His dead partner, an erstwhile assistant, and a host of lady friends lend a hand too.IDEAL for fans of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or The Stainless Steel Rat, Harry Watt Bounty Hunter will take you on a non-stop thrill ride across the solar system. With a few laughs and the odd bourbon-on-the-rocks thrown in along the way.

    When he hits the links at the absymal Dulles Woods golf course, the unexpected happens: He begins to play well. But there are more hazards on the course for Sn than just sand traps and disaffected caddies!Long a staple of Scalzi's live readings, "Judge Sn Goes Golfing" has never seen print until now. Read what you've been missing.

    The target he’s chasing may be wanted for murder, but his bills aren’t going to pay themselves.As it turns out, he probably should've been more selective. When he tracks down Cameron Kovak, the wanted man turns out to be no man at all.Gunn finds himself face to face with a tentacled creature out of Ridley Scott’s worst nightmare - a baby Cthulhu, wearing his target's skin like a onesie. And that's just the start of it. Aliens have their eyes on us, and Gunn finds himself swept up in their mysterious plans.Experience the start of The Gunn Files, a sci-fi thrill ride that will have you wondering if aliens truly walk among us. It's perfect for fans of Men in Black and The X-Files.Also available on Audible, narrated by Oliver Wyman (Monster Hunter International).

    

    It was written in a hurry. It is riddled with inconsistencies. And it never quite arrives at whatever point it sought to make. But remember: The $25 you donated to charity in exchange for this steaming mess of prose will help our species shuffle along, and I hope you’ll feel warmed by your good deed as you read. Thank you for decreasing the overall worldwide level of suck, and as they say in my hometown: Don’t forget to be awesome.Best wishes!John Green* The book has been made available under creative commons license, so it can be acquired legally here: http://effyeahnerdfighters.com/post/2... :)

    Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware... The stories include: Finicky Eater - It's after a nuclear war, and a mother and her son are in a fallout shelter, the food long long... The Screaming - Van Helsing and vampires, in 1960s England. Mr. Pull Ups - A body modification tale taken to the extreme. The Shed - Two burglars find the door to hell. Them’s Good Eats - Rednecks vs. aliens, on a spaceship ride of horrors. First Time - A coming of age tale where all may not be what it seems. Forgiveness - A dying serial killer asks for a priest to hear his last confession. Redux - Ghost story noir, about a private eye and a deadly haunting. The Bag - What's in the bag? You really don't want to know... Careful, He Bites - Lycanthrope flash fiction. Symbios - A sci-fi novella about man's first encounter with alien life, and how things can quickly turn bad. A Matter of Taste - Zombie flash fiction. Embrace - A bit of gothic horror. Trailer Sucks - Some trailer park jerks kidnap a vampire. Markey - Flash fiction, from a twisted point of view. Punishment Room - A horrific suspense tale about a not-so-distant future. The Confession - Terrible crimes, told entirely in dialog. Basketcase - Hardboiled noir with a horrific twist. The Agreement - A gambler pays the ultimate price to get out of a debt. Well Balanced Meal - The worst restaurant you've ever been in. S.A. - A werewolf novella about a Shapshifters Anonymous group that must battle Santa Claus. Dear Diary - A very twisted pom pon girl reveals the secret of her inner strength. Mr. Spaceman - We've come to mate with earth women. Appalachian Lullaby - What do you do with a radioactive monkey? This 70,000 word collection also includes an excerpt from Afraid by Jack Kilborn, and Truck Stop by J.A. Konrath and Jack Kilborn. It also features a navigable table of contents, optimized for Kindle. About the Author JA Konrath is the author of eight novels in the Jack Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read in chronological order to be enjoyed, but for those who want to know it is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Shaken, and Stirred. Jack also appears in the novels Shot of Tequila, Flee, Spree, Three, Timecaster Supersymmetry, Banana Hammock, and Serial Killers Uncut, as well as the short story collection Jack Daniels Stories, and the novellas Floaters and Burners. Last Call, the ninth Jack Daniels novel, will be available in spring of 2013. Other novels include Origin, The List, Shot of Tequila, and Serial Killers Uncut. Konrath also writes horror under the name Jack Kilborn, including the bestsellers Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, and Draculas. Haunted House, the new Jack Kilborn novel of terror, will be available in mid 2013. He has sold over a million ebooks.

    On top of that, someone just turned the Internet off. Seeing as how it’s humanity’s last chance to turn things around manners are, understandably, a bit frayed. Bookish etiquette buff Olive O’Malley is busy microfarming her urban property and minding her own business (and her chickens) when the government comes calling. Their goal is to push the populace towards carbon-neutrality while keeping kvetching to a minimum, and they come with a proposal: transition Olive’s popular etiquette column to a radio show for the masses, and they’ll help Olive find her grandfather, who’s gone missing.Olive doesn’t trust the hipster government officials who try to bribe her with delicious-but-probably-a-little-evil chocolate pastries, and declines their offer. (Politely, of course.) But they won't take no for an answer, and soon Olive is knee-deep in turmoil, eco-terrorism, and missing chickens. Now she has to untangle herself from their demands and figure out how to make sure her family (and her poultry) are safe before it’s too late.An Etiquette Guide to the End times is a 27,500 word novella.

    Gabriel Kane goes from a struggling architect to one of the most powerful men in the world; Armonía Solorsano -- a young Hispanic girl who grew up in a dilapidated suburban McMansion-turned-tenement -- invents one of the most important and influential pieces of technology in history; a non-profit organization goes from a charity to a decentralized domestic terrorist group; and the greatest democracy in the world finds itself falling into the ever-tightening grip of a dictator.As five people come together with the shared goal of changing the world, they discover that their approaches are fundamentally and irreconcilably at odds. Their partnership becomes a bitter political and high-tech rivalry from which only one of them can emerge.This novella by Christian Cantrell (about 16,000 words) portrays an intersection of politics and technology which is both extremely relevant, and frighteningly feasible.